>>83843681
Hello little gay man that lives in my phone. I am not well but I appreciate that you think I'm doing good. As far as something interesting I know. Idk if I actually know anything interesting. I could show you how to make an origami crane if you were here in person. But as far as fun facts go, I don't know anything I don't think.

>>83843681
Hello Anonny! I'm doing good I think. This week has not been great, pretty bad even I think, but today I'm good for some reason. But yesterday and I think the day before I was pretty depressed again. No particular reason for it either as far as I can tell.

>even if its hard, i think you're doing great!
..Am I doing great? I still haven't made that stupid phone call, or done any of the other things I need to do. I need to learn more from you!

>what's something interesting you know?
Hmm that's a tough question... there's a lot of interesting things I'm sure but it's hard to think of any randomly. All I can think of is autistic special interest stuff that would only be interesting to me I think lole. Such as, the fact that from about 1966 to 1985 the 1 meter per second or higher speed elevators manufactured in the several USSR factories that made elevators among other things were equipped with "sticky" buttons that would stay depressed when pushed, and would pop back out with a loud snap when the elevator arrived at its destination floor. For some reason, autists who are obsessed with elevators tend to really like these types of elevators and the satisfying sound of the buttons popping out, and I'm no exception. There's a bunch of videos on YouTube of people (mostly teenagers and kids) going into random buildings just to film these elevators before they are replaced with newer ones. I went through a phase at one point where I watched a ton of those too.

Anyway I'm sure it's kind of boring to someone who isn't into elevators but I guess it's the best I can come up for your question haha.

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>>83843681
I'm alright, I have spent my time playing endfield as you suggested. I might have gone a bit overboard but I'm not neeting for much longer anyway so whatever. As for something interesting, I don't know if it counts but I believe that no one truly understands a situation or a warning until it has bitten them in the ass. Doesn't matter if it's taught from childhood or if you know the consequences, it will always feel distant until it isn't, and only then can you and understand/internalize the warning.

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>>83843699
hello! why are you not well anon?
>how to make an origami crane
oh i would really like that actually! i make origami too from time to time. i made 2 bunnies, a whale, and a lily. its more difficult than it looks to do origami. have you made many?
>>83843764
>not been great
there can't be good weeks without bad weeks after all
>..Am I doing great?
you're still alive so, i guess that counts as doing great too. do try to make that phonecall soon though!
>just to film these elevators
hmm, thats interesting indeed! i wanna see, can you send one? how did you even find out you liked elevators to begin with?
>>83843817
>might have gone a bit overboard
well it does seem like you've been playing nonstop... you only started a few days ago and are already almost at my level. im happy you're enjoying it though! have you made any huge factories?
>no one truly understands a situation or a warning
i agree actually, i think the best way to learn is to experience failure firsthand, and it's the same as knowing what is dangerous or not. i think it has something to do with our brains certainly, maybe they need some kind of "trauma" to truly start fearing certain things.

>>83843831
>why are you not well anon?
Lots of things, unfortunately. I'll spare you the more serious things. The most immediate issue I'm dealing with is that the woman I was trying to pay to cuddle with me is no longer messaging me back. Beyond depressing. Can't even fucking pay a woman to spend time with me. Not sure what I'm going to do now. How are you?
>oh i would really like that actually
It would be nice to show someone. And yeah, I've made a lot of paper cranes. I've been making them since I first learned how to in middle school. I was also getting into making other origami a bit ago but I already forgot all the ones I learned how to make lol.

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>>83843831
>you only started a few days ago and are already almost at my level.
There's just so much to do that I lose track of time...
>have you made any huge factories?
I did, but it's a real mess, not a single base is understandable, at least I have every important materials, the only thing that I'm missing are the high quality consumable heals to use/sell but I don't have the money yet to expand. Did you go to the next region or not yet?
>i think it has something to do with our brains certainly, maybe they need some kind of "trauma" to truly start fearing certain things.
To be fair, if you didn't need to experience something to get trauma of it, it might be arguably worse in some situations, we'd never try to innovate and stuff.

>>83843831
>there can't be good weeks without bad weeks after all
Hmm somehow it feels like every week lately has been bad... but maybe I'm just forgetting the good ones. Hopefully more good ones come as well.

>you're still alive
Well that is a good point, staying alive does take way too damn much effort...I guess I should feel good about myself for hanging on.

>phonecall
I shall try to do it today! N-no promises though... but I will try. Really can't afford to procrastinate on it more.

> i wanna see, can you send one?
Sure! Here's some random one I had in my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thgg1hdlamY
Some of these videos also show the buildings a little bit which I like too, it's like urban exploring except it's not abandoned stuff. I really like the aesthetic the old Soviet buildings had, the green-white paintjob and whatnot.

>how did you even find out
I dunno, I liked them since childhood... we had one in our building that had those sticky buttons and they always made me curious. I was afraid of elevators as a kid becaues they were so dimly lit and made scary noises, but also very curious about them so sometiems I would ride them just for fun.

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>>83843879
>no longer messaging me
well i mean, there's probably apps or website that exist just for stuff like that so im sure you can find another. not so sure how good it would feel though to know you're paying someone to cuddle with you.
>>83843879
>It would be nice to show
you can show the finished product if you want! and you should try to get back into the origami. its a fun hobby to have
>>83843884
>just so much to do
watch out for burn out desu
>>83843884
>not a single base is understandable
i think mine are probably worse. from the pic you sent it looks all neat and organized, mine are... not as good...
>Did you go to the next region
no i haven't been to it yet. every time i log in meaning to progress in the story i always end up doing something completely different
>we'd never try to innovate
true, pain and gain go hand in hand after all no?
>>83843966
>I'm just forgetting the good ones
theres a really high chance you are anon, just like i do. try hard to remember the good ones!
>for hanging on
you should, its not something one has to take for granted. just continuing to exist is so damn hard, we should praise each other more for doing that.
>video
fascinating truly, how do you even find these videos?
>aesthethic the old soviet
they are a vibe yes, i think they look cool in certain scenarios but i'd never live in a place like that. i do like urban exploring too
>would ride them just for fun
humu humu, ive always been scared of them as a kid. im paranoid i might get stuck in one and also the movement kinda made me dizzy. now i also dnt like em and i always prefer to take the stairs.

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>>83843998
>watch out for burn out desu
Yeah... I won't be playing as much in a few days so it'll help
>i think mine are probably worse. from the pic you sent it looks all neat and organized, mine are... not as good...
If only I could zoom out entirely you'd see the extent of the endministrator's insanity... Actually can't I just send you a blueprint of everything?
>no i haven't been to it yet. every time i log in meaning to progress in the story i always end up doing something completely different
I get you, I had to do literally all the optional stuff before actually moving out
>pain and gain go hand in hand after all no?
That's how we get art too, from pained individuals.

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>>83844147
>in a few days
does uni start again or something?
>can't I just send you a blueprint of everything?
uh, yes i guess you could... still im sure its better than whatever i ended up making. but oh well, it gets the job done...
>literally all the optional stuff
you already finished all the side quests?? man i dont even know where to start... i was mostly busy with lvling characters and the factory. and the outposts defense. that's kinda fun too.
>how we get art too
indeed, indeed... art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. or something to that extent. did you see the poem i posted the other day by any chance?

also look! i found two cute rabbits contemplating sui- uhh being cute together!

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>>83843998
>try hard to remember the good ones!
Well I do remember one really amazing day I had a couple of weeks ago at least! It's all been downhill from there... but hopefully there's another such thing that can make me happy again and maybe even top that day. I should really stop procrastinating on doing things in preparation for that...

Oh and actually I remembered why yesterday was bad, something did happen: I kinda lost my house key. I was sitting on the bus and it was in my pocket and when I moved my leg a little it slid out from my pocket and fell right between the wall and the seat. I spent like 15 minutes looking like a junkie while trying to get it out from back there but was unsuccessful in the end, it's just too narrow of a gap. And I was too anxious to ask the bus driver for help or anything. THankfully I was paranoid enough to have left a spare key behind a random bush a few hundred meters from my home for this exact sort of scenario, but I hadn't checked if that key was still there or not for a while so I was stressing the whole time I was on the bus in case I wouldn't be able to get into my house. Thankfully it was still there so all turned out to be fine but I think that soured my mood for the rest of the day anyways. It reaffirmed my unfortunate belief that it pays to be paranoid, too.

>continuing to exist is so damn hard
Agreed! Good job on doing it for so long Anonny, and thank you as well because I appreciate you being here for us!

>fascinating truly
Do you like the motor sound as well? That's the other reason I like to watch these videos. I don't remember how I found them at this point frankly, nowadays my recommendations are just full of them. Initially I probably just searched for "zalipajka lift" or something, or maybe the factory names (KMZ, MLM, SchLZ are the common ones)

Cont.

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>>83844190
>>83843998
>they are a vibe
I'm glad you agree! I also browse Google StreetView sometimes to look at them, and back when I visited my grandparents who live in Russia in 2017 I explored them myself too. Actually I have some pictures! I'll attach a couple maybe. I would actually like to live in one though, it's very comfy IMO! Especially if you are on one of the higher floors and can enjoy the nice view. I'm not surprised you wouldn't want to live in one though, since you want to live somewhere far away-ish from people, not in a "chelovejnik" (people-molehill) as they are jokingly called sometimes.

>im paranoid i might get stuck
Yeah, I used to be as well, and still am if it's just a random elevator where I don't know if the emergency button even does anything or has been tested in years. I imagine they are supposed to be maintained regularly but some of the parking lot elevators here are pretty decrepit so who knows. Taking the stairs is healthier anyways!

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3 days sober longest streak ive had in a long while

>>83843681
why wont you marry me? i am very sad.

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>>83843998
>there's probably apps or website that exist just for stuff like that
That's what I was using fml. I wasn't like trying to find random women who'd want to do that for money lol. Which is what makes it extra depressing. And as for how nice it'd be. Idk I'm pretty much at the end of my rope, anon. I'm trying to feel some kind of comfort. Feel like I haven't relaxed once in like 6 years. I'm tired and rundown. I just want to rest my head on someone's shoulder and disappear forever.
>you can show the finished product if you want
Here you go, anon. It's not really anything but thank you for taking an interest.

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>>83844189
>does uni start again or something?
No, more like the interviewer is finally going to tell me what I'll be doing in the foreseeable future.
>uh, yes i guess you could... still im sure its better than whatever i ended up making. but oh well, it gets the job done...
There's a limit to what I can save as a blueprint, still I'll try to package it
>you already finished all the side quests??
They're not that hard/long, maybe it's because I've leveled up my team/weapons?
>did you see the poem i posted the other day by any chance?
I don't think I did, sorry, I wasn't really checking this place much this week
>also look! i found two cute rabbits contemplating sui- uhh being cute together!
Why aren't they home? It's a beautiful one! Oh and I also enjoyed communicating with the limited tools given to us in the game.

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>>83844190
>one really amazing day
thats nice! many more will come with time, eventually. you just have to be there to experience them.
>spare key behind a random bush
...i really dont know how you weren't paranoid about that random key being gone. anon, you could've been locked out of the house for the entire night and who knows how much longer if it wasn't there! you really gotta work on your social anxiety.
>Good job
thank you! i hope i can keep doing it for some more time
>the motor sound
i do like the click sound yes, but im more fascinated by the fact that there's a whole bunch of people specifically looking for stuff like that. like, the quirks certain humans have are always interesting to me. they always originate interesting questions in my head
>comfy
makes sense considering you've grown up in one i assume? to me it looks dystopian more than anything but i do like the snowy pictures.
>>83844201
im really proud of you anone! keep it up! dont let evil alcohol win you over. have you had anything good to eat recently?
>>83844204
hmm, let me ask you this then; why should i marry you anon?
>>83844233
>what I was using
well then im sure there's more than just 1 girl you can hire. not that you should by the way. i dont think it's gonna do you any good.
>kind of comfort
i get it anon, i dont blame you for wanting that. i just personally dont think it'll make you feel any better, if its given to you by someone you're paying. but, who am i to stop you, try anyway and let me know
>rest my head on someone's shoulder and disappear forever
yeah, me too...
>picrel
that looks pretty! good work. does it take long for you to make them?
>>83844281
>interviewer
well i suppose it's a good thing too then. i hope all goes okay!
>not that hard
oh i know, im just too lazy to do em lole
>don't think I did
aw, thats a shame. you're missing out on fine poetry!
>a beautiful one
true, i'd live there if i could. oh to be a rabbit. i wish. and yeah, it was really fun to talk in game!

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>>83843681
>hi anon
Hey anon! I hope you are doing great.
>are you okay?
Kinda happy actually. For now at least.
>how is the week going so far?
had some wild ups and downs and i wasn't surprised when the clinic appointment got delayed but i am finally here and its pretty nice. So far so good i think.
>what's something interesting you know?
In the last couple of months most LoRa radios running meshtastic in the EU were allowed a duty cycle of 10% instead of 5% which means that something is actually getting less restricted in this place. Woah.

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>>83844300
>many more
Eh, probably not that many.. one can hope though. At least I'm sure I'll have many more decent days, since my baseline isn't as miserable as yours generally. But yes, gotta keep chugging long in order to experience those days. If only they happened frequently enough to make it feel worthwhile...

>how you weren't paranoid about that random key being gone
I was! That's why I was stressing the whole time and why it ruined my mood as well I think. But not enough to where I'd ask the bus driver anything I guess... my social anxiety isn't even that bad but in this case I couldn't do it because I might have to see the same bus driver again since I always take the same bus every day... and I dunno if they could have done much anyways. And worst case scenario I probably could have called the apartment complex and they'd come unlock the door for me with one of their master keys. Okay now I'm making excuses for myself I guess...

>i hope i can keep doing it for some more time
Me too desu, the longer the better as far as I'm concerned!

>click sound
Not the button unclicking, I mean the whirring sound of the motor starting up, I think you can hear it in that video? Maybe not that much, IDK, I don't have my headphones right now to check. But it's a really satisfying sound.

>quirks certain humans have
Yeah I find it pretty fascinating too! I guess it's all just autism though lole. Or maybe I'm just projecting. Do normies have interests like this too sometimes? You'd know better than me I think.

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>>83844391
>>83844300
>you've grown up in one
Yes, I guess it's mostly just nostalgia on my part. But they do have genuine benefits, like everything such as schools and stores being close by, and there being lots of trees and greenery around. Here in the US everything is so far away which sucks, and in Europe the cities are so tight there aren't many green spaces which also kinda sucks. Commieblocs sort of solve both of these problems which is nice. They do look kinda dystopian though, especially the ones that haven't been maintained well. I don't mind that either though personally, to me dystopian is more interesting than sterile and boring.

Here's also a non-snowy picture, it's a railroad passing really close between two 5-story commie blocs! I even saw a train passing through there once, it's a little surreal.

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>>83844390
hi! its nice to see you. im doing okayish.
>Kinda happy
wow! thats awesome! i hope it lasts. did something make you happy?
>but i am finally here
ah, thats great! how are things there? is everyone nice? also, do they like, give you food too? hopefully your stay turns out to be a good experience desu.
>something is actually getting less restricted
impressive indeed, but it would be even more impressive if that happened in the uk. everything there is getting censored at this point. also, i went to the psychiatrist today! it was, pretty nerve wracking but i guess it went well. i ended up confessing that i do want to kill myself. sigh. after the session the doc said they'd call me back to let me know if we should start giving me meds. which i hope they do otherwise im going to go insane,,
>>83844391
>If only they happened frequently enough
then they wouldnt feel as special!
>have to see the same bus driver
...and whats the issue anon? they're gonna forget about what happened in the span of a week anyway. the average joe doesn't care as much as you do, remember that.
>the whirring sound
ah, maybe i've missed it desu. i do like clicking sounds in general tho
>have interests like this
i think so, they're just not obsessed as the average autist with them
>such as schools and stores being close by
i guess that is convenient yeah. and green is always good, i think that's almsot everywhere in europe thankfully, as long as you live outside a major city. i assume you really like brutalism in general then.
>picrels
those are quite nice too. first one seems like something you'd see in a late night playlist as thumbnail on youtube.
>train
must be really annoyign for the poor souls that live there...


gotta leave for school now so i might not answer for a while, but i'll try to reply when i have some free time in-between classes!

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I am very much not okay. I think I'm cooking up a flu and I'm only halfway through my work week.
Only interesting think I can think of right now is the fact that some social birds have "teenage phases where they move away from their groups and colonies in same-sex groups of the same age, hang around for a season and then rejoin the groups (I like birds)

>>83844300
>more than just 1 girl you can hire
Yeah but it seems like she's the only one that I'd be able to get along with. The rest seem too normal and also kind of just like escorts advertising. Which I guess is another option. But that's one I don't want to do. There's also just not that many women doing this in general.
>try anyway and let me know
Will do. Personally, I think it will make me feel better. As long as it's someone that I can put into a good category in my head, I think it'll be nice. If that makes sense. And she does seem like a nice person.
>yeah, me too...
Sorry you feel the same, anon. I hope you can find some kind of comfort out there. I know it's hard.
>that looks pretty! good work
Thank you! And no it doesn't really take me long at all. I should probably try to get back into origami again

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>>83844300
>i hope all goes okay!
I hope too, thank you
>aw, thats a shame. you're missing out on fine poetry!
Where do one find it? Or is it lost to time?
>true, i'd live there if i could. oh to be a rabbit.
They jump around and they... Have fun with each others...
>and yeah, it was really fun to talk in game!
"I hope everything goes smoothly for you." stickers stickers stickers

I think everybody who works for doordash is a retarded nigger with a peanut brain. We have clear signage and in the delivery instructions say we are NEXT to a certain business but they always go into them instead or a random office then get pissy at me and say we are hard to find. We have 3 fucking signs. The lady got real snotty with me today and I just gave her a look like she was stupid didn't apologize or smile at all. Dumb whore don't berate me for your own retardation. Get cancer

>>83844445
>wouldnt feel as special!
Mm... true. It sucks that it's basically a law of the universe that you can't have good things without bad things, but it is what it is.

>the average joe doesn't care
Well that's the issue, I care! It would haunt me for months every time I saw that bus driver again, I would feel that awful pang of shame. I mean, it's not *that* bad but yeah it's hard not to try to avoid it whenever possible...

>clicking sounds
Do you like clicky keyboards? What sort of keyboard do you have anyways? I have a mechanical one, had it for over ten years now and it's really nice. I kind of forgot just how nice until I got this laptop and could compare it. The mech one feels so much more pleasant to type on...

>just not obsessed
Ah I see, maybe I'm not that autistic either then because for me, I get into a phase where I enjoy it for a bit but then I get bored again pretty quickly. I wish I could get into some hobby or something and actually stick with it for a long time... but alas I'm not that type of autistic, just the weird and socially retarded kind.

>outside a major city
Well that's the issue, your guys' cities aren't that green a lot of the time. No wonder you don't like cities. I only like them when they are green desu, then it's a perfect mix of nature and man-made stuff, and I like the contrast that creates. Though perhaps I'd like living somewhere rural too, I've never tried after all. Maybe one day...

>brutalism
I don't like it that much on its own, only when it's together with nature. Nothing better than a commie bloc in a sea of trees desu. Something about that is just really comfy.

>thumbnail
Yeah, and with an anime girl edited into it! I've seen a lot of those pics here too, they are quite nice. It's that contrast again I guess.

>really annoyign
Eh, trains only run there a couple times a week I think so it's not a big deal, but to me it would only be a benefit--as almost every autist in existence, I lub trains too!

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>>83844445
>did something make you happy?
>>but i am finally here
Im at the clinic, duh!
Im gonna download lobotomy corp and after eating some might play it maybe. Why wouldn't i be happy?
>ah, thats great! how are things there?
Pretty cool. They have free coffee. And suggested to give e meds barely half an hour after i got to speak with somebody. It's amazing. Food is okay i think? I didn't have a proper meal yet.
>is everyone nice?
Yes. I think if anyone is bad then its me because i have such a hard time remembering names and am too autistic to be normal but otherwise everybody is nice yeah.
> i ended up confessing that i do want to kill myself. sigh.
Don't sigh anon, you did amazing today. If i could i would pat you on the back right now so do it for me please. No really, good job anon!
>which i hope they do otherwise im going to go insane,,
No you won't go insane. if it doesn't work out with the meds there is so much other stuff you can do. Like what i am right now. Its pretty nice i think. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

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>>83844460
get well soon anon! hopefully the flu isnt too bad.
>they move away
oh, that is interesting actually. do they a gay phase or something? I also really like birbs btw. really lovely creatures.
>>83844483
>seems like she's the only one
i see, i see. perhaps she's just been busy lately and can't answer, or maybe just decided to quit or something... i doubt its anything personal towards you if thats what you were worried about.
>some kind of comfort
the anons help on here but yeah, I'm really in need of some affection I guess. it is what it is
>try to get back
you should! then you can come back and show us all your creations!
>>83844513
>is it lost to time?
i like to think poems have to be enjoyed in the moment and its best to let them fly away. but, i suppose i can show you it in the future.
>Have fun with each others
sure wish i could jump around and have fun. ah that would be great!
>stickers
"Thank you" crying sticker crying sticker crying sticker
>>83844554
well i kinda just hope for the best when i order and i think the worst thing that happened was that one time a pizza was 2 hours late. poor guy looked mortified when he delivered it
>>83844686
>that's the issue, I care
gotta learn how not to. its an art, really. sometimes im really good at it
>clicky keyboards
huge fan of those yep. ive had a razer ornata since 2020 i think. pretty good keyboard but maybe i should change it soon
>aren't that green
i think we're still miles ahead compared to americans, at least we got some parks. but yeah id rather live on the outskirts
>commie bloc in a sea of trees
thats an interesting scenario indeed...
>a couple times a week
oh, then it might be comfy. I wouldn't mind sitting around watching one pass by. i like the sound of the tracks

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>>8384475
>at the clinic
ah, right! yay, anon is at the clinic! wait they let you keep laptops there?
>suggested to give e meds barely half an hour after
oh that is nice! wish they did that with me... and free coffee is revolutionary.
>hard time remembering names
humu considering you're there for a reason I don't think anyone minds. but do try to learn them still!
>good job anon
thank you! i just hope everything goes well.
>so much other stuff you can do
i dont know how much more I got in me anone. maybe I won't last much longer so i dont know. hopefully im just worrying for no reason.

>>83845047
brokey the reply link whoops
>>83844752

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>>83845047
>wait they let you keep laptops there?
thinking about bringing my steam deck next desu. Mine is too weak to run anything real but it makes posting on here a lot better. There is free wifi too but i feel like using it over my mobile data is a bad idea..
>wish they did that with me...
getting yourself admitted is pretty easy. You even get a letter for school or work saying that you are unable to attend for an undetermined period of time. Its a vacation anon!
>humu considering you're there for a reason I don't think anyone minds
my head can't help itself. Its just so worried about these things for no reason. Anyways i am trying to drown it out by listening to some 'INFECTIOUS JELQING' with my bluetooth earbuds i was also allowed to take with me.
>i just hope everything goes well.
It will. 'Believe in yourself because i belie i you'.. or something Kamina once said i think.
>maybe I won't last much longer so i dont know
Unironically consider going to an clinic. Another atmosphere is sure to help. I mean look at me. On monday i was having a hour long bpd cry session and now i am in a room with *other people* comfortably typing things. Just wow. You gotta try this anon.

>>83845117
>Mine is too weak to run
the laptop i mean
steam deck is pretty strong actually

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>>83845117
>bringing my steam deck next
what if people ask you if you got any games on it??
>feel like using it over my mobile data is a bad idea
something tells me its closely monitored so yeah maybe not...
>is pretty easy
you think so? maybe i shouldve said yes when the doc asked me if i thought i was at risk of killing myself. that way i can speedrun getting put in a looney bin!
>Its a vacation anon
hopefully not a permanent one...
>listening to some
very ominous name desu. you'll be fine anon i really doubt anyone cares about this stuff as much as you do.
>It will
everything will be okay i will be okay things will be okay
>a hour long bpd cry session
oh, im sorry to hear anon, what happened? but its okay if you'd rather just forget about it I understand desu.
>in a room with *other people* comfortably typing things
... shouldn't you maybe try to interact with said people instead?

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>>83845037
>poems have to be enjoyed in the moment and its best to let them fly away.
Beauty is ephemeral unfortunately
>i suppose i can show you it in the future.
I'll be waiting then!
>sure wish i could jump around and have fun
Same it'd be way easier
>"Thank you" crying sticker crying sticker crying "you did well" sticker heart
I'll be answering last time's discussion now
>perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to be a husk.
Might as well be nonexistent, I wouldn't want to be just a tool or a cog to someone who doesn't even care about me
>such as?
My interests, my behaviours, everything is calculated to only show what must be shown, and nothing more.
>fuck that anon, do you want to hug your friends? hug them for god's sake. dont let your affection be silenced by some socila stigma. we all deserve hugs and its okay to ask for one too.
Don't get me wrong, I agree a lot, but it will be seen as faggy or cringe or whatever negative buzzword you can think of or at best just awkward
>im so awesome yay! i give great hugs. maybe. actually i dont know about that one.
I'm sure you do ones that greatly induces oxytocin
>what if that side will only aid in bringing poor little taoanon closer to the unspeakable of this cruel, cold and lonely world... total destruction might be a better way.
Nah you'd win. Don't worry about your brain it can change easier than you think
>Pogranichnik
He's good, and he got some style, fighting and clothing
>what kind of machinations you can come up with in your factory!
The last thing I added is the Buck Capsule A, the sub bases are going to prosper in max 2 days (I only make 5/minutes though...)
>thanks for always being so nice to me.
And thank you for tending and caring for the other anons as well

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>>83845325
>Beauty is ephemeral
exactly! you gotta seize the moment!
>be answering last time's discussion
okay, now do it again but with only stickers and pre-made phrases.
>Might as well be nonexistent
indeed, though ever you only think this way because you are not a husk. if you were, you wouldn't have this thought to begin with and perhaps you'd be able to be happy. I also don't want to be a cog anon, in fact I'd rather die, but really, if its so bad to a cog then why are they happier than me?
>calculated to only show what must be shown
i think that's almost as bad as living like a husk. what are you if not yourself? why pose as someone you're not? other than work purposes I guess.
>it will be seen as faggy
who fucking cares??? why do you give value to the opinion of people who judge others for being affectionate? why do you care what husks think of you? besides (and this is based off my experience) there are very few people nowadays that would judge you badly for being that way. many others think better of you for being genuine instead, trust me on that please.
>that greatly induces oxytocin
that's a good thing right? I think it is! I don't know.
>brain it can change easier
sadly i believe im past the age of full brain development so i dunno. i hope the psychiatrist gives me something to help. i hope they dont make me wait 2 more months for another appointment.
>the Buck Capsule A
god, that was so confusing to make... i managed too but my output is much lower than yours. I think i only make 1 or 2 a minute... also, which 6 star did you get with the free ticket they gave out today?

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>>83845289
>what if people ask you if you got any games on it??
Hehe. I let them play whatever they want (and doesn't go against the hospital rules) which makes them indebted to me. Then i can... be nice and become their friend because nobody actually owes me anything :D
>something tells me its closely monitored so yeah maybe not...
i actually connected to it twice on accident. it just doesn't work?
>that way i can speedrun getting put in a looney bin!
nobody here is actually all looney and you can just go outside for a couple of hours even. Just like that.. go to some store or just chill. Its not an actual prison although you will need to learn to love the garden as you will see it more than the outside world.
>hopefully not a permanent one...
dunno if that would be that bad. It actually is sorta comfy. I wish you didn't have a roommate but i guess that that is doe for safety reasons and not just cost savings.
>you'll be fine anon i really doubt anyone cares about this stuff as much as you do.
yeah i get that impression too after seeing people just casually play games together but arghh how do i join them i dunnooooo
>but its okay if you'd rather just forget about it I understand desu.
you know how fast things can swing around. i don't really wanna remember yes but maybe once my baseline improves thanks to this place i could share how pathetic i really am.
>... shouldn't you maybe try to interact with said people instead?
i dunno how. they all already seem to know each other but uhm.. a couple of people (mostly girls) asked me for my name tough :D

>>83843681
I go to this church near my house every sunday barring bad weather and I met a girl there a few months ago. Looking forward to talking to her this sunday maybe I'll ask her out idk. I know her brother in law and sister like me so those are good signs. She likes me as well, as I have gathered speaking to her in the past.

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>>83845427
>you gotta seize the moment!
Easy to say, hard to do!
>with only stickers and pre-made phrases.
check image related
>if its so bad to a cog then why are they happier than me?
I've already told you they're really not. And if they "are" it's because their happiness is "fake"
>many others think better of you for being genuine instead, trust me on that please
I don't know. Maybe? I will try but I do not expect much.
>that's a good thing right? I think it is! I don't know.
It basically means that it'd feel very good so yes!
>im past the age of full brain development so i dunno
Neuroplasticity is still there even when you're old, you can still change the neuronal pathways, create new habits, it's never too late!
>i hope they dont make me wait 2 more months for another appointment.
I can't stand it when they do that, especially that in their case they're supposed to help with health, still I will believe that your psychatrist will be useful.
>god, that was so confusing to make... i managed too but my output is much lower than yours.
The problem is that you need 10 of steel bottle and 10 of ground buckflower powder, but to just make the bottles you need two steel, and to get the steel you need the dense ferrium powder, which you need to use two ferrium powder plus sand powder to make it, and IF you want to do it faster you need to double the inputs you need, which takes way too much space... And I didn't even talk about the buckflower fiasco...
>also, which 6 star did you get with the free ticket they gave out today?
I'm still hesitating if I should take a new character or should I just add one potential to Pogranichnik...

Rough week. I'm pretty sure I got ghosted after what I thought was a really great date that ended in her saying we need to do another soon.

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>>83845469
>become their friend
oh that is a good idea indeed! coercing people into becoming your friends. hmmm i should do that. also i do feel Ike im a bit indebted to you considering how much you've helped me
>doesn't work
it does, like they intended it too... to steal your data and nothing else!
>love the garden
do you not feel kinda claustrophobic knowing you cant just go out whenever?
>a roommate
oh you have a roommate? do you think you'll get along well? and is the room big or naw?
>i join them
you walk up and say "hi, can i join?" and bam there you go.
>could share
mkay, but you're not pathetic anon! you just feel things way more than the average person does. i think anyone would feel overwhelmed at times.
>for my name
woah, i didn't know anon was so popular already...
>>83845478
that's great anon i hope it goes well! remember to be confident and all that. maybe i should start going to church too...
>>83845592
>hard to do!
yeah that's true...
>picrel
well played desu
>really not
i mean at the end of the day im the one feeling like crying and wanting to kill myself everyday so i think they are
>happiness is "fake"
why? because they don't know how the world really works, they dont know their happiness is induced by "wrong" things? maybe that is actually why they're happy and we're not. they just don't care.
>don't know
well i do! im telling you. do try anon!
>so yes!
oh okay, that's great then! dont think i can actually put to use that skill though. last time i hugged anyone was months ago
>it's never too late
alright... I hope so...
>supposed to help
wish we could just skip the pleasentries and skip to when they give me the feel good pills.
>double the inputs
uhhh yeah that is the worst part. i just make it and forget about it... in a day or two ill have the thingy anyway...
>buckflower fiasco
ah the horror i feel when i run out of source material.
>take a new character
I like collecting so I did, but meta i think says that P1 russian man is better

>>83845712
>at the end of the day im the one feeling like crying and wanting to kill myself everyday so i think they are
I'm sorry, I wish I could help more.
>why?
Like you said, also they really need no good reason for it.
>well i do! im telling you. do try anon!
Okay but it's the night right now I'm not doing anything
>alright... I hope so...
You can look it up if you don't believe my words.
>wish we could just skip the pleasentries and skip to when they give me the feel good pills.
Be careful with what you say, I don't think they just hand over the prescription
>in a day or two ill have the thingy anyway...
Yeah, also the deliveries are so broken to make money so if it's about that you don't have to worry (in this region)
>ah the horror i feel when i run out of source material
And it's the next day you discover the shortage... So the production was completely stopped...
>I like collecting so I did, but meta i think says that P1 russian man is better
I took Last Rite, right now I almost have everyone, only 5 characters left (Arclight, Ember, Laevatain, Gilberta and Yvonne). Who did you pick?

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>>83845970
>wish I could help more
its okay anone. i appreciate that you care
>they really need no good reason
why is that a bad thing though... besides who are we to decide what is a good reason and what isn't?
>with what you say
I know, it kinda feels like im walking on eggshells. I kinda felt like the doc didn't even believe everything I said. sucks
>the deliveries
yeah they're op honestly. thank god for all the other players that pay so high for them!
>the next day you discover
yep. it happened that i ran out of power too. so annoying!
>I took Last Rite
me too (i kinda regret it), her and the russian guy are the only 6 stars that I miss. i think i have everyone else too but i dunno.

I wasn't even sleepy yet somehow I fell asleep... speaking of sleeping, I think one of my coworkers possibly got fired for sleeping on the job today. Apparently one of the clients sent at picture of him sleeping to management... I'm glad I never got into the habit of sleeping on the job myself, it seems it might have been a not so good idea after all. I guess I'll find out if he really got fired next week but I can't see him on the schedule anymore so it really seems like he did... kind of crazy and makes me a little scared for some reason.

>>83845037
>gotta learn how not to.
I'm not sure it's possible for me, really... I care in all the wrong ways. I think the only way would be if I became totally numb and apathetic to everything else too, which is a fate I'd rather avoid.

>razer ornata
Huh interesting, it's one of those hybrid ones. Are they any good? I have a feeling I wouldn't be able to tell one apart from a "real" mechanical keyboard. Why do you want to change it? What type of switch would you get? There are so many these days it's crazy. Mine is a Logitech G710+ which I've had since 2015 or so, it's from before the RGB craze so it only has a simple backlight which I kind of prefer although it'd be nice to set a color I actually like and not just white. But at least it's not overly flashy like a lot of RGB keyboards are. Do you have yours set to one of those pulsating modes and stuff?

>miles ahead compared to americans
Well that's only because Americans don't even have cities really, it's all suburbs here and they're decently green in other states I think, just not here since it's the desert and all. But the city cities are pretty bad from what I understand yeah.

>then it might be comfy
Glad you agree! The trains there are pretty slow too, it's just a railroad between two factories so they go at like 10km/h, pretty comfy indeed. It would be annoying if it were a high speed line or something.

>>83846299
>why is that a bad thing though... besides who are we to decide what is a good reason and what isn't?
It isn't, I don't know what my initial reasoning was, maybe I should sleep early today
>I kinda felt like the doc didn't even believe everything I said. sucks
I'm hoping it was just a misunderstanding and not the doctor actually not trusting your words.
>yeah they're op honestly. thank god for all the other players that pay so high for them!
311k is too good, but I think they've let it be this way because the money is only usable in the valley
>me too (i kinda regret it), her and the russian guy are the only 6 stars that I miss.
Why? Did she inconvenience you? Or did you want the broken russian on your ship working? Tbf he is a good subbase leader and a good manifacturer meanwhile LR is helping with the non mushroom plants (which is kinda ass, I literally never had a shortage of those plants, meanwhile the shrooms and minerals are always good since you want to level up the characters and you can salvage weapon exp
>i think i have everyone else too but i dunno.
You can check by looking at what profile icons you can put, I miss only 5 operators

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>>83846438
>somehow I fell asleep
how is your sleep schedule anon?
>if he really got fired
oh lole. oh well, i suppose they are paying you for 1 thing which is not to sleep, and that guy sleeps anyway so... lemme know if he actually got fired
>not sure it's possible
then the next best thing is to learn how to control those feelings instead, and not let them overwhelm you. easier said than done, i know.
>Why do you want to change it?
it's got a few beaten up keys that might break soon and the volume wheel doesnt work. also the cushion is a bit worn out aswell.
>set to one of those pulsating modes
nah, i dont really care about rgb anymore. used to when i was a teen but now as long as it works and is durable it's fine. i just keep it on the default colour settings. i'd like to get a corsair or another razer eventually. logitech is a good brand too, my mouse is by them
>suburbs
ugliest thing ever invented in the history of urban design
>at like 10km/h
you could jump on one! i would. used to watch a lot of illegal train riding videos, its fun.
>>83846514
>maybe I should sleep early
not a bad idea desu. maybe i should too considering i can feel myself going down a bad spiral right now.
>not the doctor actually not trusting
there's a good chance its just me being paranoid, but i guess ill know once they call me.
>311k is too good
max i ever got was like 161k...
>Why?
she's way too moe for my liking and makes me cringe... for now she's only gonna be planting stuff in my ship. maybe one day ill put her in a team.
>profile icons
oh yeah i forgot. next time ill login ill tell you the ones i miss. assuming i can manage to do that by only using stickers.

>>83846611
>how is your sleep schedule anon?
404 not found... just kidding it's not that bad. I think it's mostly fine in terms of consistency but I'm definitely not getting enough hours because during the workweek I only sleep 5 or 6 hours. I could sleep more but then it feels like all I do is sleep and work and that feeling suuucks so I'd rather be a little sleep deprived than do that.

>they are paying you for 1 thing
That's pretty much it, yeah... not like we actually do anything, it's amazing really. The guy had two jobs though apparently, so that's why he was sleeping on shift. I don't know how or why normies subject themselves to that. I guess maybe to feed their family but the guy also had one of those 2,000 dollar folding phones and just bought a new car so maybe he only needs all that money to spend on consumerist things. Anyway, we'll see how things are next week, but I kinda hope he didn't get fired because it would suck having to get used to a new coworker.

>control those feelings
Do you think that's even possible? I feel like it's not, the only thing you can control is your behavior but not the feelings themselves. Which I guess would still be helpful here, if I could have asked the driver anyways despite the feelings that would have been good probably.

>volume wheel doesnt work
Ah twinsies! Mine is also broken actually, has been for a while. I have a custom script to adjust volume with two other keys I don't use instead. Also do you have the tenkeyless version or the full one?

>default colour settings
Wow, that's surprising! You usually really like customizing your things. I do think it'd be nice to be able to change the color at least, then you could fit it to your mood. But the flashing modes are too distracting for me I think, it'd make it hard to even focus on what's on your screen.

Cont.

Cont.

>>83846755
>>83846611
>my mouse
Which one do you have? And what mousepad? May as well figure out what the rest of your setup looks like. Logitech mice are not very good IMO though for one reason: a lot of them develop double-clicking issues pretty early on. Or at least all the ones I've had did that and I've heard others complaining about it too. Maybe their latest ones have that issue solved, not sure. I have a Cooler Master MM720, which is a pretty weirdly shaped mouse, but it's very lightweight which is nice and has optical switches I think which means they should in theory last forever.

>ugliest thing ever
I'm glad we agree on this!! I hate them with a passion desu. Raze all suburbs to the ground

>you could jump on one!
Indeed you could! I remember running along after one just to see it for a bit longer, they go really slow in places like this. You'd probably get yelled at by the conductor though so I'd be too scared to do that haha.

>illegal train riding videos
Ah I've seen those too! People hiding in-between train cars, or riding inside them. Pretty fun way to adventure! You don't even know where exactly you'll end up half the time. I'd definitely be too scared to do it on my own but it might be fun to do that with someone who has some experience in it. And plus it's free! As long as you don't get caught and have to pay some fine...

it doesn't get better does it.
how does one even feel happiness? how?
no amount of talking, writing, drugs, is ever going to fix my brain. nothing but hopelessness fills my skull. tiresome, grueling, pointless. its just too late. better luck next life! someone save me please.