I push people away because I feel I will weigh them down. I also push them away because I have fallen in love with being alone. I selfishly expect people to wait for me. I selfishly expect people to make the first move, despite me not putting in the effort to nurture our relationship. I sometimes feel like i'm better off alone. I sometimes feel like I desperately need someone by my side, or else I might die. I think about mending past relationships, but I never do. I think about reaching out, but I never do. And I don't think I will ever change. The worst feeling is knowing you are at fault. There's no external force at work. There is no one to blame, except me. I convince myself i'm too good for them, but it's just an excuse to feel that my predicament is noble and deliberate. I convinced myself that through sheer will, that if I just think about someone hard enough, and hope for it with enough desire, something will happen.
>>83846166I am not romantically interested in whores, sorry.
>>83846166There is one way to make it happen. Just send out 3 messages every day. 3 messages do different people youve lost touch with. They dont have to be long or super well thought out. Just a simple "hey, hw are things going?" Is enough. You clearly have the desire. You CAN change your situation anon. You got this. Im rooting for you. Talking to people is hard but it is worth it.
When we are together again we will find at our core that we are the same as we were before with each other. That all the behavior, avoidance is just pollution from the in between that can wash away easily with faith honesty and trust.
>>83846187I appreciate your advice. I thought of doing what you suggested. I will give it a try. Thank you.
>>83846210you're seriously gonna text them after weeks (admit it, it's probably months at this point) of complete radio silence? that's gonna be so damn awkward. they are probably already fed up with your behavior and are glad you vanished. you would not only save yourself from embarrassment but it's also the most gentle thing to do to just stop bothering them. stop abusing people with good intentions who have a genuine desire to have authentic relationships. you said it yourself, you're better off alone. then stay alone.
>>83846258Shut up>>83846210You got this anon. You will recconnect with some of them, somw might not respond, but dont give up. One of them could be exactly in your shoes right now waiting for someone. You have to be that someone for them
>>83846258Die alone you asshole.Let the guy trying to be better do that.
