She didn't really reject me, but she deflected by saying: "you don't wanna take me out" and then rapidly changed the subject. I know it's not the end of the world, but I'm a retard virgin and I had very strong feelings for her. I mean I've spent like hundreds of hours standing right next to her for the past 6 months, it felt like we had a lot of chemistry and friction between us. In a good way. But I guess she just wasn't interested. Or whatever. I'm trying not to be bitter about it. At least I asked her.
>>84000255>At least I asked her.what are you talking about, anon? now your relationship will never be the same, kek. that saying about "ask so you'll have closure" is bluepill nonsense and i expected more from you
>>84000269I didn't want to be her friend forever, I felt like I couldn't go another day without telling her how I felt.
>>84000255>she deflected by saying: "you don't wanna take me out" and then rapidly changed the subjectSounds like she thinks you're too good for her and she will fuck it up.
>>84000255>She didn't really reject me, but she deflected by saying: "you don't wanna take me out" and then rapidly changed the subject.You were rejected and she only said that because if she directly said no she's afraid that you'll rape her
>>84000311What is with women being such creeps with their weird rape fantasies?
>>84000255Hope you already started sending your resume out. Hell, it might already be too late. lol, lmao even.
>>84000305>>84000311I'm thinking it's somewhere inbetween these two
>>84000320I work in food service, literally everyone here is having sex with each other. Or dating one another. That's the nature of these sorts of jobs.
>>84000326Guess you're stuck there forever then. Try that little stunt at anything higher than a McJob and you'll be out the door before the workday is over. Then it's just shit tier jobs like food service forevermore, which I guess you're already used to. lol, lmao even. LOSER.
>the guy who types lol lmao even in every sentence thinks hes better than other people
>>84000334>"Try that little stunt at anything higher than a McJob and you'll be out the door before the workday is over"
>>84000305>Sounds like she thinks you're too good for her and she will fuck it up.Maybe if she felt really bad and explained in detail why she doesn't feel adequate. She didn't explain though, as if OP isn't worthy of that response. Also, the fact she changed the subject quickly makes me think she was too uncomfortable just thinking about it. Anon fucked up no doubt about it.
>>84000356>Anon fucked up no doubt about itDamn dude I thought we were supposed to be asking girls out, what the fuck
>>84000370>Damn dude I thought we were supposed to be asking girls outEh, fair enough. Except I'm not advocating for rotting at home all day. One should only ask a girl out if he knows he has a chance.
>>84000390I thought I did have a chance.. this chick has so been on my dick since I met her. When I came in today she immediately said my name, ran over to me, and started asking me fifty questions. But I guess she just sees me as a friend or maybe worse like a brother or something. Idk
>>84000349They have power and proof you fucked up. You don't got nuffin mo' than yo limp dick. What do you think is going to happen.
>>84000356Or she knows trauma dumping about how she's a broken sex toy is going to change the way OP looks at her and she likes being treated (comparatively) well by a guy who seems (comparatively) wholesome.Something that she thinks could never happen if he knew the real her, the things she's done, the things she'd want to do if they started dating.
>>84000403>When I came in today she immediately said my name, ran over to me, and started asking me fifty questions.Was this before or after you asked her?The idea is out there now, so it might take her a while to think about it and decide she'd like to give you herpes with her diseased gash.
>>84000414Well she's already pretty open about her past, and no it's not very pretty but I don't care obviously and I don't get the impression she feels insecure about it. Or that she thinks I'm too good for her lol. I'm pretty sure she just didn't want to hurt my feelings.
>>84000436Consider that the "not very pretty" you know about is the whitewashed tip of the iceberg.
>>84000255this thread is overwhelmed with incels. if a woman says anything other than yes then she's not into you you fucking retards. women know how to let down a guy properly so he doesn't come back to work the next day with vengeance on his mind
>>84000318yeah that's what's happening here, she's projecting her rape fetish onto him when rejecting him
>>84000458Why are women such gross perverts?
Well it's the next day but I still feel just as lousy as I did last night. Right now I feel like asking her out was a mistake: I'm glad I won't be up all night yearning for her anymore, wondering if she feels the same way, but I feel like I humiliated myself to acquire this information and possibly soured what relationship we did have. I just hope she doesn't tell everyone at work about it. I'm not really worried about losing my job but it would be embarrassing to say the least.
Never shit where you eat at, dum dum.
>>84000255Ok now just ignore her from now on.
>>84001693I've never asked a girl out, I am never around any women. I have no idea where or how I'm supposed to meet girls to ask out. Some random woman I see outside somewhere? I don't have any friends. My coworkers are the only people I know period. And she was the only woman I knew I liked, and I could see myself being with. I felt like I had to ask her out, I almost felt like it was meant to be. I realize how gay and stupid that is now>>84001711That's not really possible, and also not what I want. I hope things will just continue as they have been.
>>84001681>I hope she doesnt tell everyoneoh she already has. OP take it from me, every girl I actually fucked we went from meeting other to going on a date to sex extremely quickly, a few weeks max. if a girl is actually into you its very easy to tell. Ive also had countless beta orbiting "friendships" like the one you had with your coworker and Ive often told them how I felt and its always a mistake especially if you work together. the one exception is when you just want to be done with the person forever so you just get it out of your system and move on. but nobody leaves the friendzone and telling a foid how you feel is always a recipe for disaster it will be awkward forever now.
>>84001771I'm somewhat hopeful that maybe things won't be awkward, I mean it's not like she was unaware I had any feelings for her: I gave her flowers on valentines day, I wrote a poem for her, I've brought in food that I made for her. I call her beautiful all the time. And she's still been pretty affectionate and buddy buddy with me, inviting me to sit in her car with her, talking to me constantly, always offering to make me food or asking me if I'm hungry. I mean it really seemed like she liked me, and maybe she does and just had other reasons for not wanting to go out with me. I don't think our friendship has to be something fake, I really don't see myself as having ever "orbited" her. I just think she's a special person, and I was grateful to be someone on her mind and someone she wanted to show attention to. I dunno man
>>84002051I mean she just really paid attention to me, in a way nobody ever has before. She would remember little details about myself that I didn't even remember telling her. Things I'd say in passing she would take to heart. She would defend me against others, and praise me even when I wasn't around. She's even come to me with really personal information, and said "I haven't even told my mom yet". Maybe she just wanted me to be her gay best friend or something, but fuck being in her graces felt so good. I hope she doesn't think I'm a creep now.
>>84000255>Hey, about the other day. If you're not interested in me that way i respect that and will drop it immediatly. But what you said was dismissive of my feelings, i do want to take you out and im serious about it. Please either accept or reject based on your own feelings, not your speculation of mine
You did good by asking. And if it's killing you that much, you should at least ask her to clarify. Sometimes pushing a little harder works.
>>84000269Exactly, what kind of loser tries to succeed, you're supposed to shut the fuck up and seethe silently, winners seethe silently
>>84002051lmao that is textbook orbiting 101 you are an emotional support tampon. if youre cool with that then go on but its never going to become a sexual relationship.
As an old man who has boned tons of chicks, I think you did well OP. Don't beat yourself up about it. Sometimes they might say no the first time to see how you take it. Do you lose your shit and throw a fucking tantrum? It sounds like you've handled yourself well.If I were you, I'd say to her sometime soon, "if I ever got the chance to sleep with you, I'm down. If you ever change your mind, I'd be open to it." And you might hear nothing for a month but then suddenly something in her hoe brain clicks and she's all over you. Whatever happens, it isn't a big deal. Don't get emotional about it, even if you screw. You becoming needy is the last thing she or you wants, trust me.
>>84000255At least you tried, if she doesn't go the way of accusing you of sexual misconduct, you're in the clear. If you stay friends with her, after a month or two, ask her to introduce her friends to you, after do you do this, one three things will happen>she will actually introduce a friend to youWew, you won, they usually show a picture of yours, so if you actually get introduced, it means the girl thinks you're attractive>she will get jealousSome women want you to keep simping, if she tries that, just revert your friendship to work acquaintance, unless of course her strategy of keeping you simping is to let you hit, then you won>she refusesThen stop talking to this bitch>t. knower
>>84002933>It sounds like you've handled yourself well>Don't get emotional about itHandled it well as far as she knows, maybe. But I am an exceedingly emotional person, and I think she could tell I was disheartened by her reaction. She even suggested a different girl at work who I should ask out. I wasn't sure what to think about that desu. As for when I was alone, I did not handle things well at all. I cried all night, and then cried all morning. And then I became angry, started feeling insecure and jealous. Started feeling like less of a man. That's nothing strange for me, I'm an inherently grief striken and melancholic person. That's why I try not to get caught up in romances, because I know my heart can't handle it. I fall fast and hard every time. I guess I'm just being hysterical.
>>84003492Hmm. I see. You should start hanging out with other girls in front of her, being all flirty and stuff. She might tell you to go ask some other girl out but the minute you're with someone else she'll try to get you back. Hoes are just that dumb and emotional. It's funny, every girl wishes so badly she were different from regular girls when really they're all pretty much the same.It's admirable that you kept it together as much as you did in public when behind the scenes you were really that unfathomably crushed by her deflection, i mean technically she never said no, she just deflected. She likes to play games.The best way to get over something like that is just exposure therapy. Keep asking girls to coffee or whatever. Keep telling them if you ever had a chance you'd happily smash. Before you know it you'll lose the v-card. And you'll see that they really aren't as mysterious or unattainable as you think, they're really very mundane and predictable creatures. Just keep doing what you've already done. I'm pretty sure you're a lot closer than you realize. Just don't fall in love with her, you'll regret it.
>>84000255Scream in her face and call her a dumb cunt
>>84002108>tries to succeedsays that as if trying to succeed is just as meritable as actually succeeding. bwahahaha. esteem him if you must, but all you're doing is giving him a participation trophy
>>84004007Damn you motherfuckers are bitter and insufferable.
>>84004245>Damn you motherfuckers are bitter and insufferable.bwahahahahar. the funny thing is, if anon would have had my mindset before, he would have stayed friends with this girl he's fond of, bwahahah, but following the opposite worldview, i.e. yours, he's now bombarded her with un-innocent thoughts of him trying to get into her pants, changing her image of him irrevocably! bwahagagag. if anything, i'm the good one and it's people like you who are guilty and wrong, bwahahah.
>>84001681>I feel like I humiliated myself to acquire this information and possibly soured what relationship we did have.You are a man who attempted to court a female and got rejected, like every single other man in history. It's not a big deal.>soured what relationship we hadIf she makes it weird, she's the one who changed things not you.>>84002080This is not just "female attention", this is why you attempted to ask her out. She blurred the lines, and you in your bungled attempt cleared them back up. >>84002933>"if I ever got the chance to sleep with you, I'm down. If you ever change your mind, I'd be open to it." Don't do this.
>>84004317No one would want to be like you. You just wish you could be more like op. Some therapy might do you good. You've clearly got some developmental issues.
>>84004317>If anon had been like me, he would have suppressed his feelings and continued a disingenuous orbital relationship, never daring to ask out anyone ever and becoming a total beta cuck for life.
>>84002933>If I were you, I'd say to her sometime soon, "if I ever got the chance to sleep with you, I'm down. If you ever change your mind, I'd be open to it."you know that like, women are people, right ?
>>84003492>and I think she could tell I was disheartened by her reaction.Her reaction is likely "oh, so he's only nice because he wanted to sleep with me"Which is her own fault, and not your responsibility for her disheartenment. You were both nice and wanted to sleep with her, i.e. become her mate, which is a natural desire.If she stays away, that's her doing. If she resumes friendship activities, that's also her doing. Either way is not your fault.>but if she stops it's because I said something!You -not- saying something would be a lie. You would be withholding your desire for what purpose? To maintain the status quo? The status quo of you longing for her? Wake up.>but muh attention!The same attention that made you fall for her and want to be with her more. You don't fail to see how continued exposure to that wouldn't build things?>>84004317If you were actually asexual, then correct your approach would be valid. Otherwise though it's some bitter mangled attempt of self sacrifice to preserve the discomfort of others.You're not responsible for the emotional well being of others.
>>84004359>continued a disingenuous orbital relationshipHAHAHA. it wasn't orbital though read op's responses he said they got along really well and that she'd go out of her way to talk to him but all that's at risk now>becoming a total beta cuck for life.Did that actually change by him asking her out? You realize he's still alone, right? And is likely never gonna try again
>>84004317Thank god this is irony and not real, life that this seems extremely frustrating and painful.Op you did good, talk to her again and ask what she meant. Just be honest and polite
>>84004381I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it too, by maintaining a genuine friendship while also chasing after something deeper. And now I'm afraid that both are impossible and she'll simply fall out of my life. But you're right that anything other than what I did would be a lie, so this is how things had to be.
>>84000255I've been in this exact situation before. Take it as a lesson to never get hung up on a woman you're not dating. If you're interested in someone just ask and then move on, don't spend months building it up in your head. Also don't try to read into her response and decipher it. Women love giving vague answers and deflecting instead of outright saying no. It sucks to hear but it's healthier to just accept the rejection and move onto someone else.
>>84000269Dont listen to this poisonous little faggot, you did the right thing by asking
>>84004420I sincerely wouldn't worry about it were I you.You didn't do anything that -by itself- would jeopardize a friendship.If you believe men and women can sincerely be friends, as well as lovers, then there exists the possibility of "well, yeah, I'm attracted to you and I want to be friends and more, but if you don't that's fine, I'm still willing to be just friends". If she's not fine with this (don't press her on it obviously, it's something she has to come to her own thoughts on), then from the start she wasn't seeing you as a fully realized man, only some weird proverbial sexless male that existed for her own sake.tl:dr; if you being attracted to her bothers her, without you making any additional moves that would qualify as legitimate discomfort, then the issue on her for not realizing you are in fact a male and are complete with male desires.Always the chance that it's none of this and she's just some neurotic female with low self worth (many of them), or something else entirely. Who knows.All I wanted to get across is that you made no wrong move here.
>>84004419>>84004478Thanks, anons. I appreciate the support.>>84004479Maybe it was me who was denying my own manhood and neglecting my needs and desires, wanting to walk that easy road to female affection, as if I were a child or a pet even. Yes I am scared of masculinity and of adulthood. Meeting this girl made me realize what a stupid underachieving faggot I'd been. Made me wish I was more developed, more matured, had more money or more resources. She made me want to be a man, and I guess that's what drove me to asking her out. I wish I hadn't cried and grieved so deeply at her rejection, or refusal to interact with my proposal sincerely rather. >>84004457 is right, I spent too long watching her from afar, building her up in my mind. I developed an attachment to her before I knew it, so it made the rejection even worse. Even right now I just can't get her face out of my mind, her eyes and her mouth and her hands and her voice and the mole on her forehead. It's all so vivid, glued to my inner eyelids. I dream about her nearly every night.I guess you're supposed to fall in love after the first date, not before it. But since we work together maybe I was gonna fall in love with her no matter what.
>>84004562>I wish I hadn't cried and grieved so deeply at her rejection, or refusal to interact with my proposal sincerely rather.While never comfortable, and it doesn't fit into your mental picture of "the ideal man", I wouldn't discount those crying sessions. Every time I had one, I was never bothered as much, or at least to the point of outwardly expressing it as such, again. Almost feels like a part of me died those times. Conversely, I am less bothered by such things. "Out of my system" to the extent that i no longer possess it even if I wanted to. Consider the mourning period less "a girl hurt me" and more 'the death of my innocence, I will never have those naive thoughts or self back again'.>Made me wish I was more developed, more matured, had more money or more resources. You can do that now. Take it as a learning lesson, so you can be in a better place by the time you do meet that someone. And even if you never meet them, you will be a more realized man able to take care of yourself.I'll leave you with something a teacher of mine once said. "Be the man your future spouse deserves".
>>84000305sounds like "any girl would be lucky to have you" talk
>>84000255At least you went for it anon, I've seen this girl for a few months at a church near my house that I know likes me and couldn't muster up the courage to ask her out when I had the chance. Now it's 3.5 months later and she's busy with school and I see her less and less. Her family likes me but she's busier and it's a luck of the draw whether I see her every week.
>>84004882>her family like me butYou know you could always ask them if they think she'd be interested in dating you.People used to go through families back in the day for this kind of thing in the first place.
>>84004912I asked her brother in law about her and he said I should talk to her more. I have dm'd her in the past but I'd rather talk to her in person. I just have to wait until sundays and hope she's there.
>>84004919If you've already DM'd her in the past, and are no longer doing so, she likely believes you're not interested. Because if you were interested you would be talking to her.rip
>>84000255Ask again.and if she gives friendzone speech, say that you're not interested in being just friends and tell her to talk to you if she changes her mind.
