I keep making mistakes.
I keep thinking im doing the right thing when im just fucking everything up.
I dont wanna live anymore. I don't want to be me. I fucking hate myself.
I hate myself more than anything in the entire universe,
I deserve to be cut into pieces. I deserve to be burnt to ashes. I deserve to be raped and violated and brutalized until im nothing more than a bleeding, weeping, withering husk.
I love you. Ill always love you.
Im done. Ill try my best to leave you alone now. ...i miss you like hell...goodbye...

I dont care if we get bacck together.
But I cannot and willnot let you go.
I care about you too much.
I always have and always will.
I just want to talk.
I get it. I destroyed your trust.
Ill just mill around until I kill myself. I dont know what else to do.
She wasn't interested, just like you said. I know Im a scumbag. Im gonna kill myself someday anyway. People like me dont desrve to live. You want me to leave you alone? Consider yourself left alone.
I don't want you for a "warm hole" or any kind of shit like that.
I asked about being friends with benefits because A.) I took muscle relaxers to help me sleep and i was loopy as shit.
B.) You said you still found me attractive so i thought it could work out.
And c.) I secretly hoped it'd be a way for me to build a relationship between us again and maybe a long time from now, but maybe someday we'd get back together.
But I destroyed your trust permanently.
I treated you like absolute shit.
I apparently threatened your safety and wellbeing.
So go ahead. All of you can move on and be happy with your lives. Have jobs. Have friends. Have relationships.
I was asking you to talk to me for my sanity's sake. I wouldn't need the psych ward if you did.
You treat me like an animal for no reason!
You mock the way I dfive saying it's too dangerous! I drive the way I do cause im an idiot!
I thought you knew I'd never hurt you! I worried myself to death over you for all of the summer!!!
I had nighmares every goddamn night about something happening to you!
I'd stay awake all night and all day, sobbing to myself, thinking about you, wondering where you were and if you were okay!
I didn't sleep for almost a weeks over you! Just kept blacking out every now and then for 3 weeks!
And you threaten to call the cops on me?
You treat me like I tried to rape you!
Id never hurt you!
Ive repeatedly told you I loved you!

We can be friends!
I would never hurt you!
You know that!
Please, talk to me!
I want to be friends! Just friends!
Please!
I mean in person! I wont come by if you dont want me to, but im begging you,
Please talk to me.
We can be friends.
I dont want to lose you.
im so sorry, im so so sorry.
I swear im soprry, I swear.
I never meant to offend you. I never wanted to hurt you.
I thought you missed me too...i thought we could talk...please...
I thiught i was making yhe right choice.
I cant forget about you.
I cant move on.
I can fix it if you give me a chance.
I want nothing more than to hold you right now.
I can.
Ill do whatever it takes.
Im not other people.
Im me.
I make mistakes.
Some are small.
Some are big.
And some are so enormous I can't hold their weight.
But I learn from every single one.
It takes me forever.
But i do.
And ive learned from this one.
Yes, all.
I need you in my life.
Im not obsessed.
I might be unstable.
But I am not insane.
I am in lovd.
You treat me like im crazy for being angry.
You twist my words and actions into things I never meant at all.
Whether you rember or not you told me to slit my wrists.

I had sex with her the day before yesterday. We broke up but I had been hanging out with her and kept flirting with her, and pressuring and harassing her and she just gave in, and we had sex. Neither of us enjoyed it. I should have told you last night. I told her we were dating again, and she understandably feels used. She doesn't want to see me again for awhile. I completely understand and am not mad at all. I dont want to have sex with you or her or anyone else ever again, Its ruined my life too many times. If you hate me again and never want to see me again, I completely understand. I wont text you, i wont call you, i wont come to your house, if i see you i'll walk the other way and you'll never see me again. I promise.
Im gonna go find a nice place to slit my wrists. Goodbye.
I am calm. Ive intended to do this for awhile.
Just finally got the balls.
I tried to cut my dick of awhile back.
3 cuts back and forth in and it hurt too much.
Should have finished.
Im done hurting people.
Im done being someone i hate.
I have no meds to take by the way.
I cant stop.
Its just in my nature. Its what i do.
Besides, cuting myself feels good.
It hurt when i cut my dick but it felt good too. Im masochistic.
Im going to sit in this parking lot until i slit my wrists.
I thought i was getting better. Guess not. You can say whatever you want, i barely understand it anyway.
I have no meds.
Im not seeing a doctor until the end of the month.
Exercise isn't really doing anything. It was just something for me to do have some self esteem. Didnt work obviously.
Im not going to reply anymore. I dont want your help. I dont want anything from you.
I mean i dont care.
They cant stop me.
No its not.
Its not my autism.
Its not my psychosis.
I am completely clear right now.

not gonna be reading all of that lol

DO I HAVE TO COME TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE?!?!?!?!
I WILL LITERALLY FISTFIGJT YOUR PARENTS
I DONT GIVE A SHIT
YOU CAN CALL THE COPS
CALL THE ARMY FOR ALL I CARE.
ILL BUY A GUN AND BRING IT.
ILL CALL THEM MYSELT
THEYD SHOOT ME ON THE SPOT.
Im not trying to manipulate you.
I was estatic last night. I told myself id change.
No im not.
You know im not.
No, id never hurt you.
Or your family.
I threatened to make it look like i would, and call yhe cops.
So theyd shoot me.
I know you cant [tell the difference between empty threats and real ones].
Thats why i thought youd stop.
I know it is..
I dont like scaring you at all.
I dont like scaring anyone.
I do things without understanding what im doing.
Im sorry.
I dont intend to hurt anyone.
I hate hurting people.
Physically or emotionally.
i know i do it all the time.
Im sick of it.
Please. I cant make you understand by texting.
I cant. I always say the wrong thing. My words aren't as clear as i want them to be.
[picture of razor blade held up near recipient's home]
Im not at home.
This isn't meant to be a threatening picture.
Im just showing you that im not at home and have razorblades so you'd know im serious.
I dont care. Or at least im trying to make myself not care.
I know what [girl whose boyfriend hung himself] went through.
But [hung boyfriend] was a wonderful person.
He didnt deserve to die at all.
I do.
Im staying here until i kill myself.
i hate to.
I have to.
Please, i have to.
i promise i do.
I swear i do.
I dont want to hurt you anymore.

I threw you away. I broke your heart. I destroyed your trust. I asked you to fuck me with no strings attached. Im an awful person. Ive always treated you like shit. I can never make up for what ive done. I can never be forgiven. I wont act like i dont want to get back together, though being friends would be more than enough for me, i tried to stop talking to you, i tried to give you time but i cant. I cant live without you. I dont want to live without you. I want to kill myself. No medicine or doctors can help me.
Please help me kill myself. Please. If i kill myself you'll never see me again. I need your help. Just a quick text, just encourage me to kill myself. Tell me what an awful boyfriend i was. Tell me how horrible i am. Please. Please.
Please...please talk to me...im begging you...please...
Maybe i can take you out for ice cream sometime?
Or we can see a movie?
As friends?
This isn't fair. You know im going to kill myself if you don't talk to me. Everyone keeps saying "this isn't what she wants" and "she just needs time". Now i get it. I refuse to live without you in my life. No more telling me to get doctors. Im going to kill myself. Im going to try as hard as possible.
I just want to say im sorry for all of this. And if it would be possible for us to completely start over, just as friends, i would love that.
Im coming to your house.
Im not coming to your house.
I knew you were ignoring me.
You hate me so much you dont care if i kill myself?
I just want to start over as friends.
I wont. I promise i wont.
You can take my razorblades if you want.
I dont want to hurt you ever again.
Im ending this fucking cycpe.
PERMANENTLY.
For you.
I cant do it foryself.
But i can for you.
Believe it or not, im weak. But im always strong for other people. Always have been.

>>84003470
jesus christ never be down this bad

"Oh Anon I TRULY want to be your friend, I understand social dynamics and people SO WELL I am willing to pay you to be my friend!!!!"

Im sorry for becoming dependant on you. And for using you for sex. I never meant to at first. It always ends up that way somehow. I didnt want anything from you the night before last. I still don't. I dont want to be with anyone just to have sex with them. I forgot you and her were good friends. I wans trying to have sex with her. I genuinely thought we could be together. I wasnt sure, but i was desperate for somethng to make myself happy. I thought being in a relationship would. I also thought about asking out [other female friend], but i know how Catholic she is, so i never intended to have sex with her. I just thought being in relationship would make me happy. I had another panic attack today. I rushed out of my house in my pajamas. I didnt know where else to go so i went to [that girl I fucked]'s house. We talked and hung out for awhile. And I keep apologizing to her. I think she forgave me. Im not sure. I dont really want forgiveness from anyone anyway.
My mom might leave Thursday. Im not sure. I dont really care that much if she does or not. I think it'd be good for her but i don't know. I didn't try and kill her twice. That wasn't a lie, i just said it wrong. Ive just gotten in two big fights with her that ended up getting physical. I lashed out in extreme anger was all. I have tried to kill my dad but only once in anger. Any other time i remember was self defense or defense of someone else. Ive gotten physical with my brother too but lookign back on it i never wanted to kill him or my mom. I know my family is very dysfunctional. I dont expect you to understand. You did lie to me about people understanding. Theres a big difference between relating and understanding. [Girl I fucked]'s been through similar issues, so she admits she can relate but not even she can understand me. I know for a fact noone can. But im fine with that.

Im also sorry for keeping you from your family when we were together.
And for making empty threats. When you start ranting at me, I get really angry. I never want to hurt you, at all, ever. But i am willing to say anything i think will shock you into not talking.
I wouldnt ever bring a gun to your house or threaten anyone in your family. Ever. i didnt even me for it to be taken that way.
I meant the threat to mean id bring your gun to your house, call the cops myself, and have them shoot me.
Like when i got the idea to bring my dads gun to a police station and fire off a couple rounds.
To kill myself.
I might as well be honest. There are lots of things you say lots of time that hurt me. Even yesterday.
After i told you about sex with her, the rant you went on was what made me decide i was done. It made me realize theres nothing i can do. That i keep using people and abusing them, even though i do care about them. So i decided to kill myself once and for all. I shouldnt have texted you after that, but i thought if i did you'd let me die.
I honeslty, sincerley thought you would.
I broke up with you for many different reasons.
1.) I was tired of dating someone I always felt lesser than in comparison. No matter what, i always felt dumber, slower, worse overall. Thats not your fault. I just did. Still do.
2.) I thought you'd rebound rally quickly. The entire time of summer, I thought you were out dating and having sex with whoever, or getting drunk or high or whatever. I thought you were having fun and doing absolutely anything you could to forget about me. I was kind of hoping you were too.
3.) I feel like we don't understand one another at all. Again, not your fault, but i never really felt like we did. I felt like i was being misjudged and misunderstood all the time. Maybe not. I dont know, nor care anymore really.

I know im horrible. I dont want anything from anyone. Just want to kill myself. Right now, i wanted sometone to talk to because im not going to sleep tonight, but i don't expect any reply at all. I wanted to apologize. For everything ive done. I just want to kill myself. I probably always will.
Im probably not going to be able to go to school next year. Ill probably have to move out of my house. Find a small apartment somewhere. Try and find a job. If hurting myself doesn't make you feel better, maybe the fact that I am truly miserable and alone now will. That i want to kill myself every day. That all i do is hurt those i love. My mom. My dad. My bother. My friends. You. I love you so much, but im cursed to treat others like shit. Ill never stop being suicidal. Ever. I can't. Not with all ive done. Not with what ive done to my life. I cant. So just have happiness in that act. That someone wronged you deeply, and will suffer forever for it. I genuinely mean that. No sarcasm. No jokes. No corninss. I mean every single word I've said so far from the deepest bottom of my heart. I love you. :)
I wanted to ask you to come with me to get things for my mom tomorrow. I thought it'd be some nice time to spend together. But i shouldnt. I wont force myself on anyone anymore. Or at least ill try my best not to.
I just want to kill myself...i just want that. I dont want anything else.
...im alone...ill never be with you again...ill never be your friends...ill never see you again...im alone...
[straight up picture of a slit open bloody wrist]
I'm sorry for harassing you and scaring you.
[link to some article about a woman with aspergers and her dog]
I know you dont want to talk to me but please read this or watch the video. ..im close to crying. This broke my heart.
Hi.
How're you?
:)
Hi. How're you?
..i lost 30 pounds...im on medicine now...im seeing my psychologist twice a week...i havent cut myself in a month...im taking care of myself.

[flower pic]
Are you alright?
I can't stop thinking about you. It's making me go nuts. ...not...not literally, im just restless is all. I know you're busy and im sorry. Hope we can talk sometime. :)
Im gonna come by your house. Just letting you know. Sorry.
Im turning in an application.
Then im coming.
...okay. Fine. Sorry.
Actually, no, im not. Im sick of this. Im coming by.
I just wanted to talk. You said we could talk?
I wont come by your house.
Please talk to me.
Stop treating me like im a serial killer.
Can you tell me why?
What did i do? If this is about the friends with benefits thing im sorry. I just miss you alot.
Please dont do this to me. Please.
I dont think that at all. It was stupid and im sorry.
I fucking get it.
I get it.
I get the goddamn point.
I didnt know what else to do. Im sorry. Ill leave you alone.

Do you think i should try to talk to her? ...i could probably find her room in the dorm, they have names on all the doors after all but...do you think i should try?
Well, it doesnt matter now because i have to go to the psych ward.
No, i mean, i have to. See, i tried to kill myself and...i called my psychologist. I didnt want to go back to the psych ward but he called the police.
Yeah, they're gonna take me to the psych ward.
I actually did go to her room before i saw your message. I saw her a couple of times over the summer thopugh. But i left because it sounded like her parents were talking to her.
I threatened to kill her. Im a monster and a bastard. I deserve to die. You should stay away from me. Im insane and a monster. Im crazy.
Hey.

end scene, thank you for coming with me on this journey anons. this ended in a restraining order.

Honestly this thread fucking sucks and i dont believe the vast majority could give less of a shit if they tried. But i admire the effect to post all of this at least.

>>84003654
This thread is a literal humiliation ritual for a special specific faggot, FYI.

You are doing great, faggot. Keep at it.

>>84003667
so this thread is about two gay people and they are crashing out at each other? why should anyone care?

>>84003586
attention seeking piece of shit. You wont gain anything from posting this in fucking 4chan lmfao

>>84003667
Are you insulting me or the guy? Do you think i am the faggot, am i the guy? Probably not but still. confusing and illogical, to make an anonymous humiliation thread,where only they would know themselves.

>>84003722
I'm insulting the faggot, not you. OP and the faggot know eachother through external means of communication. I like OP, I want the faggot to greatly suffer.

>>84003844
how do they know each other and why are you posting this here?

>>84003667
You mean OP because they keep posting this retarded shit that literally nobody cares about? Neckrope, pissbitch.

>>84003667
>>84003844
what?
>>84003891
i followed op's instructions. all of that shit is from one person. i don't know op or what faggot this guy has hallucinated. these are messages from one person over ten years ago over a very short period and most of them were sent in mass batches with no responses in between just like that, or responses that just said "don't come over" or "please speak to a therapist". figured it fit the theme of "talk[ing] like a pathetic loser, a self-centered gaslighting loser who resorts to violence the moment things don't go his way" since i was going through them earlier anyway for something else and chuckling at the rapid oscillation between "i am going to threaten you by bringing a gun to your house to shoot you so you call the cops and they kill me on your lawn" and "whaaaat? i'm not trying to manipulate you, i would never hurt you! but sometimes i will lie and say anything to get you to do what i want and scare you. btw i tried to kill my mother, father, and brother several times but only because i was really angry. you make me incredibly angry whenever you speak. but i would never hurt you! here's my slit open wrists, tell me to kill myself please please please please please whaaaat you're not telling me to kill myself, do you want me to actually kill myself?"
>end scene, thank you for coming with me on this journey anons. this ended in a restraining order.
is true, also criminal stalking and aggravated assault charges. anyway now it never has to be posted again. bye!
>>84004629
post something else then, bitchpiss? i'm not op. you have free will.

>>84003247
The world would be a better place if a South Korean subhuman slit his throat.

Wow what a Horrid person