so when I die that's it? no second chances, no harps and pearly gates, nothing?
>>84003871You tell me wise guyWere you baptized?
>>84003871It sounds peaceful imo
>>84003871You can try 5-htp before you die to see what you're gonna run into when you die by taking it at night before bed and letting the demons wake you. Just don't move and they will pull your body off the bed.
>>84003876probably notmy parents are the average american protestant and had me out of wedlock
well from my perspective I remember nothing from before then I randomly came into being, I wouldn't be shocked if I returned to nothing then re emerged at some point. Once I ingested an insane amount of mushrooms and I fully believed I was dying and felt myself leave my body and the earth, it was terrifying but accepting it made it easier, my entire memory of me, earth, the human experience, the 5 senses and the 3d world were stripped away from me, replaced with an entirely new existence, it was as though it never happened, but it wasn't scary.
imo, yes. that is it. the big nothing.no one REALLY knows desu. because you have to be dead to find outdreaming about heaven during near death experiences doesn't count as knowing
>>84004094>dreaming about heaven during near death experiences doesn't count as knowingTry 5-htp at night and be knowing of thing external to the mind that can interact with you.
Twenty years in the can. I wanted manicott', but I compromised. I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead. I wanted to fuck a woman, but I compromised. I jacked off into a tissue. You see where I'm goin'?
>>84003871'You will wake up as (you) in some other time and place or you will have a preview first, which you might not remember so in a sense it didnt happen.So basically you will spend some "time" in infinity like character/game creator breifing room but dont really remember that part and then wake up as a child somewhere/sometime else.
>>84003871the truth of the matter is we dont really know for certain>>84003876but do this for sure, its life changing
>>84003871You just get reincarnated and get to experience suffering again.
>>84004242This is cope that stops you from living your life. Cope that let's us waste our time and life in the hopes that we get a second chance. But everyday you wake up is another chance. Every minute that passes by is another chance to turn it all around. Once you understand that this life is all we have, that's when you can commit and appreciate the time you have.
>>84004384This is a cope thinking there is an escape from this place. All of my experience and instincts tell me there is no escape. That would be far too easy.
>>84003871Remember before you were born? That's it.
>>84004342>its life changingYou take a dunk in a (usually) ice-cold river with a gaggle of humans watching you. If that's life-changing wait until you take a cold shower.
>>84004402you should try baptism and tell me how wrong i am about it
>>84003871We really don't know yet
>>84004435I have, twice. Once in the summer, when it was pleasant and I was a child, and another up the mountain.It's a stuffy occasion with people I have no connection to outside of my family. I don't actually have faith. It's performative because I have a pastor grandfather and a father that constantly drinks ai-generated rapture kool-aid on youtube and every conspiracy in the book and beyond.That's just the reality of it. It's an appeasement ritual like how the majority of christians were when it had more tangible influence over how people behaved. The human animal never really changes.
>>84004460oh okay, well maybe do it for yourself next timegl anon
>>84003871No one knows for sure and I think that's the fun part about death. One last mystery that you can only solve personally. Isn't that exciting?
I'm a Christian, but I serious hope that nothing happens. The idea of eternal hell is unspeakable.
>>84004485I won't. I fundamentally do not have faith in any specific higher power. I also specifically do not want to share the same heavenly space as the people in the church.They have those flouride stares that people talk about. They don't talk normally, they seem more fried upstairs than what I usually see out of people. Usually it's on-par with the homeless public I deal with once in a blue moon.I feel too detached from society in general to fit into any mould. It's because I feel too aware of human nature to really believe in any banner or cause.I can imagine no greater hell than knowing where I am going. I crave novelty, and heaven, hell and even purgatory have been played out beyond belief.The single most life-changing experience was my first year in true solitude. No antagonism, no obligation. *That* is a life-changing experience. To wander without interference, even if it is in your own four walls. To finally have time to recollect, to criticize the self, to criticize the world. To sever the ties that paralyze, to fundamentally change into a different creature, and for me, because I was a spiteful and hateful child that wished nothing more than a bloodbath out of people like you, women and even children. I experienced the call to go postal and managed to walk away. That is the power of solitude and peace. I threw out my humanity and it soothed whatever is left of my soul.Having a god means having expectations, and that is also a hell I cannot permit. God cannot lift me, I have only become a better person because I pulled myself together. I do not have enough ego to function with a god. To do so would make me succumb to "sloth" and I would promptly be no better than a corpse. Much like the people around me praying for the rapture instead of trying to make things better.I have fundamentally different beliefs. That's all there is to it. I cannot function with yours, with theirs, or anyone else's.
God i sure hope so. One can pray for eternal nothing.
>>84004600oh wow, sounds like you're angry at your dad more than anythingnot saying that to be mean, but i do hope you can connect with the universe at some point and leave the religious dogma behind and find the truth....sounds like that will be a big challenge though because of what you've been put through already, but there is still time :)its a wonderful feeling to be connected to higher consciousness and the greater
>>84004724There's little need to patronize, I'm already thinking less of you especially if that's the conclusion you reached. I hated humanity in general. Now it's more "oh, more of the same" very mundane, very expected, boring The only thing you're succeeding in is being a springboard rather than anything I should reflect on.We both see different things in the world. You see this thing that's all sunshine and rainbows, I see a void that could be anything beyond it. Everyone's beliefs are personalized, even if some of them are more rote than others such as yours. Severing my humanity lets me critique and reflect on us as a species more efficiently. I do not revere the thing that compelled me to be the worst animal I could have been, but I did want to understand it. What makes a person want to kill another, even people who don't deserve it? I never crossed that threshold, so it makes me wonder if they were more animalistic, more connected to that primal humanity than I was, or if I simply hadn't crossed a real threshold at all because in reality I am powerless. No amount of blood would satisfy me, I knew it, and I knew it would be useless. Yet I know it's the same thing that compelled the columbine kids. I tamed that thing and made it something else. If they are the animal, then I am the machine. The thing that knows it's a flesh golem piloted by neurotransmitters, flesh-wires.Fundamentally though, I think hunger is the most divine thing. It pulls me to action when I am too paralyzed by life's expectations. It makes me yearn to see more. If I die and I have a soul, there will always be hunger. Everyone is tied to that concept even in death. To want to praise their god forevermore, to crave the void, to seek release from hellish shackles, and everything in between and beyond. Hunger never ends. Not even for YHVH, who hungered to create something. That's how the world, and if there are worlds beyond, operate. It's why I know I will never be content. That's okay.
>>84004835you can think less of me all you want, i still hope and pray that you find your waythe big wall of text is clear you have unresolved anger issues with your father, and its not a dig on you, its just the truthlike you're not even trying to talk to me, its you dumping on what you would want to say to your dad if he would actually listen, but parents tend to not do that (listen)
>>84003871Hey buddy, answer this question will ya?What was before birth?
>>84004874And judging from your "wall of text" comments, you aren't even reading enough to understand that isn't something "daddy dearest" could ever understand let alone most humans. He isn't even relevant to this theology discussion, you simply latch onto it because you are too distant. You are like an AI, you do not comprehend these more violent and broader concepts, you just shut down and list a bunch of suicide hotlines.You are worthless, die baptized in the gutter mud where you belong and turn into another drop of oil for Israel like the rest of the dogs before you, and after forevermore. You have such little capability read you probably didn't even read your precious bible. You are spiritually empty, and that is why the devil will eat you alive.
>>84005230bro i've read all you've written and its pretty clear to me you've got majorly unresolved issues with your dad, you arent even cognizant that im over here and might not be exactly the same as him...and you're talking to me like i am him. As much as you dont want this to be true, it is. but on you go, i wish you well in your walk and hope you can come to terms with the pain and anger you're struggling with. love you anon
