Been a year since i last got laid, been abstinent ever since. Dont watch porn because it creates urges. Would want nothing more than to give in and find a girl despite my currently extremely risky life situation BUT ALSO for some reason dont want to break abstinence after so long and after the insane cognitive and physical benefits gains. I am in a state of duality where I simultaneously want pussy and simultaneously do not give a fuck if I dont have it. How the fuck did I get myself in such a state? How the fuck do I escape this mental fuck fuck circus to either side of the fence? Anyone else ever go through such a similar confusing state of being? Am I absolutely fried in the head and now my mind is short circuiting? I really want pussy and I really dont want it. Its fucking annoying quite frankly. Might shoot myself in the head later
>>84007106I've been doing semen retention for 235 days now and have the same sort of contrasting feelings as you. I'm ravenously horny and want to pump a hundred kids into a woman yet at the same time completely in control of those urges and I simply ignore them. I don't think you need to worry about jumping to one extreme or the other, I personally believe this is how men are supposed to feel, not lacking desire but not consumed by lust either. Full of powerful raw emotions and energy yet he doesn't let it control him. You're worrying about fitting into existing molds instead of just being comfortable with the unfamilar goodness that you're experiencing.
>>84007106suck my bitch ass little dick you retarded ass motherfucker, fuck you. fuckin faggot piece of shit.
