I'm in deep shit again. I can't do anything. I'm trying to improve my trumpet skills, but nothing's working. I constantly get some kind of psychosis during trumpet lessons. I'm stupidly afraid to play anymore. I try and try, and nothing. I can't even die normally. How many times have I overdosed on pills? 10 times for sure. And nothing. I can't even hang myself normally. I can't do anything. My life has no meaning anymore. There's nowhere else to fall. That's all.
same anon, my life is abjectly pathetic. I have nothing to look forward to..nothing to sustain me. I want it all to end