>>84014380
> anyone else have AVPD here
no
>it's gotten so bad for me that i've skipped college classes that involved group assignments and hid in my car.
online coarses
>whenever i try to make friends online i ghost them for days at a time out of fear and it all fizzles out.
they'll ghost you anyways so you're ahead of the curve
>just tonight someone told me "i wish you told me you didn't care about friendship beforehand" when i really liked them and just didnt wanna bother them all the time.
What are they a weak ass bitch crying over nonsense? Tell them to shut their fucking bitch mouth if they're gonna spread melodrama. Don't worry the faggot talks about you behind your back don't worry.
>i hate myself so much
At least you're honest, most people arent and mask self ahtred with narcassism.

I suffer from AVPD or something similar as well and it's fucking shit.
>want to send messages thanking relatives for birthday presents or whatever
>anxiety makes me postpone that for months
>many other similar situations
>end up ghosting and hurting people by being harsh with them when I talk to them again
>want to call people I hang out with IRL sometimes
>overthinkink it until it's too late to go out

>>84014410
Kill yourself. I really mean it.

>>84014380
>AVPD
ass vagina personlity disorder? is that where you're a gay bitch who lets chads use your anus as a pussy for his big sexy cock?

>>84014380
are there any ways of improving it? I've come to realize that this is the number one reason my life sucks, more than depression or no gf or anything else

>>84014526
I got over what I suspect was BPD by studying the symptoms and actively stopping them whenever they surfaced, that may work with AVPD too.

I think I do. Whatever's wrong with me I'm just sick of myself. I constantly worry about being annoying and I have one friend who I worry I talk about myself too much with. But at the same time I'm mad at him because I feel like he pities me, and he sometimes responds negatively to my interests. He also does this thing where he checks in on me deliberately which contributes. Today he tried checking in but I was already having really bad anxiety from something else and it gave me a headache, and since I've been trying to distance myself from him (I do this a lot when I think I'm hated) I just gave him a retarded joke response. Then out of nowhere he asks me if everything's okay and I suddenly feel even worse, like worrying I upset him and I start putting myself in his shoes and imagining how devastated I would feel and how evil I am. I told him I was doing good and then asked how he was and the conversation just kind of ended, and for about 30 minutes after I kept thrashing in bed because I felt so overwhelmed with myself. I hate feeling like this I hate not knowing if people really do hate me or if it's all in my head. What's worse is that no one seems to give a shit about me like on the rare occasion where I try to talk to someone about my problems they just kind of brush it off and I'm reminded why I don't. I feel so helpless and fucked up. I'm cursed to be alone no matter how hard I try
>>84014410
>>84014502
You guys are the worst