sorry for gayass vent threadbut all I can think of everyday is how I was taken out of public school to be homeschooled and how that is the root of all my issues
Wait till 18, get a job and go to community college?
>>84060723I am 24 nowmy youth is gone
Join Grindr and get TOPPED?
>>84060733yeah thatll solve never getting a highschool gf
>>84060730Socializing is overrated just try to be normal and practice some common sense and pursue education / money.
>>84060730Just pursue education and a career then. Socializing is mainly being polite and not crashing out in public.
>>84060758normal is all I wantedI wanted to experience the normal of being a highschooler but I couldnt even have something so basic
>>84060768Well we can't change the cards we are dealt and most people hated high school anyways.
>>84060780I cant change the cards but I cant stop thinking about it either
>>84060787Yes everyone wishes they had a time machine but we can only move forward. Do you have discord?
>>84060710Why has it ruined your life?My school life was literal hell, i got bullied super hard for being weird, because back then i still wasn't diagnosed mentally ill and on disability like now, but i would give literally anything if i could just be homeschooled.I wouldn't have years of trauma from other girls bullying me, i would still have my virginity and wouldn't have given it away to some retard because he knew what to say to abuse my broken brain, and i wouldn't constantly get yelled at by stupid teachers because of having outbreaks from having to listen to their disgusting voices.
>>84060894Wow thanks for making it about you, OP really needs that right now lol
>>84060710Nice cope but you'd be like this regardless. Homeschooling was a blessing, you don't even realize how shit public schools are. Sorry but if you couldn't make friends at the local park you would have been a loner in school eating your lunch if a smelly wet, cold disgusting bathroom stall to avoid looking like a loner in front of all your judging hormonal peers.
>>84060853well I do but I have enough ppl added alreadyso unless youre a girl living near me then I dont need anymore sorry>>84060894well I was never bullied but I was the one kid who never talked to anyone, I honestly thought I was breaking out of my shell the year before I was taken out of schoolmaybe im a failed normal fag or something idksorry what you went through
>>84060710Snsnsnd>>84060947Got it yeah I'm a guy looking for girl so nvm good luck with your issues
>>84060973>Snsnsnd?>Got it yeah I'm a guy looking for girl so nvm good luck with your issuesyeah well thanks>>84060931>Sorry but if you couldn't make friends at the local parkno one's at the park idiotmaybe this is a dumb cope but in all the highschool movies theres all the different groups and I feel like I missed out on choosing the friends who shared my interests and who I wanted to be friends with
>>84061003>maybe this is a dumb cope but in all the highschool movies theres all the different groupsThose groups aren't real. And even in the movies they're called cliques for a reason.
>>84061126I guess soI was still never allowed to find my own friends, surrounded by christians
>>84060924i just said my example to give context to why i don't consider homeschooling a bad thing but a good thing. But i'm sorry i guess...>>84060947It's okay, i mean it's 4chan, all of us who end up here are failures in one way or another, otherwise the roads wouldn't lead us to rome.Can i ask you, do you feel like you honestly missed out on something?Because coming out of your shell still doesn't mean you will have an amazing time, it mostly just means you won't be invinsible and will maybe make 1 or 2 friends. Did that loneliness or not talking to anyone bother you a lot?I know i'm probably asking weird questions but my brain don't work right, i'm a heavy diagnosed schizoid NEETing on disability, and it took a long time before i got diagnosed, otherwise i would have probably homeschooled from the start as a recommendation by the psychologists.Also why did they take you out of school without you wanting it?
>>84061215>do you feel like you honestly missed out on something?I feel like i missed out on socializingIm also short and I know that was because of bad diet but I feel like I can cope better with that>Also why did they take you out of school without you wanting it?they are religion-schitzos
>>84061215>Did that loneliness or not talking to anyone bother you a lot?forgot to answer thisat the time I thought it was cool that I got to play vidya and be on my pc all the time but know I feel like I regret wasting all my time, maybe its cope
>>84061233>ReligionOh fuck that, religion people are insane, and that's coming from an actual insane person. Especially with medicine. Like i remember when i was in school one kid died from some stupid infection or something because his parents wouldn't let the doctors do nothing because their religion forbids it, i think it was about blood transfers or something, idk, but the kid basically died because his retard parents said "nah god will heal him". (Spoiler alert, he didn't)>Missed outI feel like disney movies and whatever make socializing seem like something nice, but personally even if i wasn't basically incapable of tolerating being around people, i wouldn't want to be friends with anyone from my highschool. They were all such jerks and cunts, not just to me, but in general. Pretentious, disgusting, only thing they talked about was how OMG I GOT SO DRUNK ON WEEKEND NOOO WAYYY and wow i did drugs and wow i got wasted and wow going partying next week... like god is there anything else to youth other than being drunk to these people?Well that's my opinion, i wouldn't want it anyway. Also my doctor says i shouldn't drink or do drugs, does not go good together with my brain fixers, plus i would probably turn into an even bigger slob than already am.Despite what catfishers and rule34 might tell you, being a girl failure is not glam or poggers, i feel ashamed as fuck in my moments of mental clarity
>>84061239wtf refreshing the page causes name field to be empty now? since when????Anyway to answer this, that sounds like heaven compared to going to the bullying factory every day.I feel like one thing you should think about is that once you start coming out of your shell and you stop being invisible, you get noticed by both the good and the bad, and there is a lot more bad than good usually
>>84061282>being a girl failure is not glam or poggerswho said I was a girl?
>>84061295>Despite what catfishers and rule34 might tell you, being a girl failure is not glam or poggers, i feel ashamed as fuck in my moments of mental clarityI think the sentence structure pretty clearly indicates i'm talking about myself, no?
>>84060710>but all I can think of everyday is how I was taken out of public school to be homeschooled and how that is the root of all my issuesare people like you real or psyop glowniggers? public school is hell on earth and you got a divine gift being taken out of that early....and you decide to complain about that? nobody but glowies like school. its a inhumane child slavery factory
>>84060730iam 34 and i look at 24 olds the same way you look at 14 year olds just so you know. you are a toddler
>>84061305ohsorry im used to ppl assuming OP is always a girl>>84061292idk how to find friends now>>84061320you think being surrounded by christcucks is better?
>>84061333>how to find friendsFinding IRL friends almost always sucks from literally every corner of the world i ever heard. I find it that if you wanna find friends, just use the internet. You can join servers that are country based on discord for example. Or i guess states based if you are from hamburgerica. They have those. So you can chat with people with the idea they are within IRL friendship distance. I dunno i only really talk to a couple on discord and i gotta adjust and censor myself a lot there. Kinda why i like 4chan, i can just say whatever here. But i wouldn't want any of them to visit me IRL. Not because i think they would be bad to hangout with, but because i don't think i could handle it on behalf of my condition. I would probably just start screaming at them or attack them the second they would touch me or say more than like 15 words per hour. Plus i wouldn't want them to see my room.
>>84061282>being a girl failureGIRL GIRL GIRLcan I fuck you?
>>84061356I dunno feels like im forced to put myself out there but when I was in school I could just naturally meet people and eventually recegnize the people in my classes or lunch breakhumans prefer familiarity
>niggas actually try and pick up girls in /r9fuckingk/ of all placeslollmao even
>>84061365Thank you for this generous offer, but no sorry my slut license has been revoked by the goverment.Also you really wouldn't want to, trust me. I'm not proud of it but my room smells like shit and i probably do too, plus i would probably have violent outbursts from you touching me, so it really wouldn't be enjoyable.>>84061408Well it's full of gooners anyway so might as well try. Trust me you want to see 1000x more mentally ill people than the ones you see here, go join a public discord for a story game like Coffin of Andy and Leyley or Undertale/Deltarune.>>84061372From what i heard and observed i can genuinely say that most highschool friendships turn hollow and meaningless for this exact reason. The way or the reason why you are friends with these people is that you existed at the same place at the same time as them, and shared a class, so you just "Recognized" them often enough for you to form a friendship to fill a void. So many of these friendships end after highschool because both or one of the people at least has no interest in keeping in touch, because it requires actual effort, now that you don't just have a guarantee you will see that person in class tomorrow anyway. It genuinely is this way most of the times, you really didn't miss anything amazing.
>>84061435i am not a zoomeri do not have discord or plan to
>>84061440It was an example. Use diffirent socials then. There are ton of platforms just for the sake of making friends, specifically themed ones too.You want to make friends who are furries, there is a site. Friends for boardgames, there is a site. Friends for dnd, there is a site. Friends for sports, there is a site. Etc etc etc...Just google them, discord was just an example.
>>84061463i'd rather meet people irl
You could transition and I'll get you a lot of surgery and cute jewelry and piercings and we can get a cute airhead bimbo together and I'll stroke your girl cock as we all kiss
>>84060750>yeah thatll solve never getting a highschool gfunironically it will tho
>>84060710When I went from elementary to middle school my school district was rezoned and I was thrown into a jungle with a large portion of the student body being feral niggers. They acted like actual animals and my only reprieve from them was that I took all advanced classes that they were too retarded to make it into, so it was only whites and Asians. Throwing a shy, sensitive kid into that was hellish. Public school is a psychological(and sometimes physical) torture chamber for children.I begged my parents to transfer me to a different school or put me in a private catholic school nearby but they didn't really care that much.
>>84060710Dont waste your 20s thinking about this or youll be 30 thinking about how you wasted your 20s one day
>>84061435>my room smells like shit and i probably do toomentally ill girl failure with poor hygiene??? awoooga let me sniff your feet mommyHow bad do you think you stink? When is the last time you showered?
>>84061538Well i can't help you with that, IRL is hell for me. 2 weeks ago i literally had a rage outburst and screamed at a cashier in a Billa. Thankfully he knows me so he knew to just let it happen because i don't really mean it. Really glad he is chill like that instead of having me dragged out or something.Still good luck with socializing, i would say if you drink, hit up bars? Or arcades? I don't fucking know how people meet IRL...>>84061654Yep. Even if i wasn't mentally ill which caused another extra layer of aversion, i wouldn't want to hangout with those people anyway. While thankfully no niggers around, the white kids acted just as animalistic. Like genuinely i sometimes failed to understand how these people manage to execute tasks such as put on your own pants with the absolute degeneration and nonexistant intelligence behaviour they expressed daily. Like because of my brain bug, their voices sounded like razor blades in my ears, but the actual context of what they were saying was just as infuriating. Literal inbred animals, and me forced to sit among them.>>84061689You know i'm into some weird shit myself, but i never understood why guys think an unwashed dirty girl would be attractive. Like i heavily doubt you would actually like it if you were to get with me. But sure i can answer your goonalicious questions.I don't know if i stink or not, to myself i don't much, so not that bad. My hair is very oily right now tho, it's very puffy when washed but right now it's almost straight, and doesn't smell nice, but i can't smell it unless it's in my face.Last time i showered was last week on Tuesday, because my dad reminded me. I genuinely wish i would shower every day, but i just can't bring myself to it, or i just genuinely forget. The only things really that make me remember is either my Dad commenting on it, or if i accidentally piss on my leg or spill a drink on myself. Not proud of this, but i genuinely can't change...
>>84061721Nta but I like the idea of an unwashed "loser" girl because I have a savior complex and want to take care of them.
>>84061721I'd throw you in the bathtub and wash you like a dog.
>>84061792understandable i guess but sadly wouldn't work with me, because i heavily doubt you could save me from my own brain.>>84061833jokes on you i don't have a bathtub, only a shower. It actually really sucks because in our old house before mom and dad divorced, we did have a bathtub, and i loved taking baths, it felt so relaxing and like i could have piece and quiet and no one would disturb me. I imagine if we had a bathtub i would actually take a lot better hygienic care of myself, because i would actively want to go there and take a bath, because while i have very little sense of selfcare thanks to my meds and overall state of existance, i do enjoy self pleasure.
>>84061721Why did you scream at the cashier
>>84062064Well some old lady started talking to me in the store about reminding her of her grand daughter out of nowhere for some reason, and i sprinted away from her, so i was already very on edge, important to note. But yeah, what he did was he talked to me and for a second touched my hand when he handed me back my change.
>>84062096Are you afraid of forming a connection with people or something
>>84062104I'm diagnosed neurotic SPD (Schizoism) on disability.Basically, i can't handle being around people. Hearing their voices is like razorblades in my ears, like sandpaper on my brain. It causes me genuine discomfort and internal pain, weather it's real pain or mental phantom pain, it feels very real, and my reaction to it when i can't handle it anymore is trying to make it stop in any way possible, which sometimes manifests through an angry outburst. It's not voluntary, my brain is just chaotically trying to stop that noise from happening, and so it just makes me something, anything it can to make it stop.Same goes for physical contact. There are some people who can i mildly tolerate, but for most physical touch also just sends me into an outburst where i just do whatever to get away, because touching me feels like if you spilled acid on me. I had sex once in my life, when i was heavily drunk and was given some drugs by a guy, and even then i can tell you, it was horrible.Basically, imagine your head as a huge theater full of chairs. That theater represents your social battery. You have your chairs for family, chair for friends, chair for people you have to handle, like teachers or coworkers, and then chairs for randoms. Some people have more, some have lees. Me, i have like... 1 or 2 maybe basically. And one of them is permanently occupied by my Dad. I love my dad so fucking much and it's genuinely like the only person towards whom i can genuinely feel this emotion without wanting to vomit when he hugs me. My mom hates me, when my parents had a divorce when i was 11 she straight up told me to my face that i either go live with Dad and tell a judge my dad should have full custody, or i will be thrown out and homeless, because doesn't want me with her.Also again, i'm grateful that this particular cashier knows me and that he just smiled and let me scream at him all that horrible shit i said, and just overlooked it, because he knows about my condition.
>>84062159Damn that sucks. Do they offer any medicine for that?
>>84062167Yeah i'm taking brain fixers. I want to say, i think that i'm WAY LEES fucked than BPD (bipolar) ones. I genuinely think BPDs have it a lot worse, including the medication and how it affects them vs how the brain pills affect me.But anyway yeah the meds help me cope and have a bit of a bigger battery or tolerance, but i still have moments like these. Now, i want to say that i was diagnosed with this VERY LATE, so as i said, i had to go through 2 and a half years of highschool before i got diagnosed and medicated. Everyone just thought i was a raging cunt because i either wouldn't talk to anyone and would run if they tried to talk to me, or have violent outbursts, mostly at Teachers during lessons when i couldn't handle hearing their voices anymore. Naturally, i was constantly in trouble, every teacher hated me thinking i was just doing it because i was a spoiled brat or something, and basically both of my years i had almost no summer breaks, because i had to do reparation exams from about half of my subjects, because my report card was basically either 4s or 5s, with 5 meaning you have to do a reparation exam, and if you fail that one, you gotta redo the year. Very fucking garbage... Also developed an eating disorder from the sheer stress and everything, dropped to 30something KG bodyweight, so i was going to the doctor, who obviously said i need to go to a psychiatrist for anorexia, because they thought it was that, and that's how i was finally diagnosed. I'm now at 42kg last time i got checked, i don't weigh myself, i should tho, i only get weighed when i go to the doctor. Brain fixers still mess with my apetite but doc says i'm on a good track towards healthy weight.
>>84060710I dropped out of school at 12 and spent the rest of my school years playing video games and getting groomed by 4chan into weird fetishes.
>>84062159Damn... tough shit. Why did your mom hate you like that? Also, if you say even light physical touch like his hand touching yours for a second while giving you change can trigger you, how the fuck did you make it through getting fucked?What is your relationship like with your dad?
>>84060710In a mirror world you are saying >but all I can think of everyday is how if I was taken out of public school to be homeschooled instead how all my issues would have been fixedIt's in your genes anon, you are coping with this "if things were different" not understanding that all that's different is the lie you tell yourself.
>>84062327>mom hateWell my mom is just your traditional kind of mom. She probably wanted a normal daughter with whom she would do fun mom/daughter stuff, you know, "us girls" type of shit. Instead she got me, a neurotic loner who can't stand her touch or her voice. It's very common that schizoids strongly attach themselves to 1 family member, usually a sibling or a parent. In my case, definitely my Dad. So my mom got almost the same treatment as strangers, maybe with a little bit more tolerance, but not much. Until i was like 8 she really tried, wanted to do stuff with me, i just didn't want to do stuff with her. I wanted to be alone in my room. Past that she kinda gave up. Constant school trouble didn't help, and she kinda just started to resent me. Then they got a divorce. My dad gave me the usual "it's not your fault" talk, but honestly, it genuinely might be my fault, or at least i might be a substantial reason behind their splitting. But my Dad never stopped being a good parent, and i love him so much for this. Even tho all i did for the last couple of years is rot in my room and collect disability NEETbucks, he still loves me.>SexWell it was when i was 13. There was this party i heard about in school, and they said there will be alcohol. I heard a lot about how alcohol sheds inhibitions, and i thought maybe alcohol will help me be normal again, and then mom will like me and go back to my dad so he stops being so sad about her leaving. Well i got there, talked to no one, got insanely drunk. Then i vaguely remember a guy started to chat me up, but my brain still didn't like it, so i try to push him away, and he puts some pill in my mouth and holds his hand over my mouth to force me to swallow it. Idk to this day what it was, but probably Ecstasy. Well i started tripping and that made me basically lose conciousness. I regained it here and there and i just remember screaming and flailing my arms and legs while he fucked me. Very bad but too drugged to stop it
>>84062327>relationship with dadHonestly probably very unhealthy from my side.He is a good dad. Just a really really good dad. I have been nothing but a burden for him, and he still loves me, and hugs me, and let's me live at his place he got after the divorce. He only asks me for 300Eur a month in rent, the rest of my disability check is spending money i spend on shit i want to buy for my room or gaming or gooning or etc.The thing is, he is genuinely the only person in the world whose voice is soothing instead of boiling my brain, his touch is soothing and comforting instead of feeling like having my skin peeled away with a potato peeler. As i said, it's very common for schizoids to have 1 person on who they fixate.The reason it's very unhealthy is because he is also pretty much the only man i was ever attracted to. Like i have gooned to the idea of being with him many times. Not because of the incest, in fact that is the thing that i hate about it, i'm not some fucking incestoid degen, but i genuinely feel attracted to him and feel a desire, because he is basically the only person with whom it would feel nice and intimate instead of being literal medival level torture. I hate that i have these feelings and i won't act up on them of course, i'm already mentally ill enough, i don't need to add on the pile by trying to fuck my dad, but the thoughts and fantasies and wet dreams are there sometimes... it's fucked but yeah, very unhealthy from my side. But from his, he is just really an amazing Dad.And no i know you will ask this because you guys are as much degens as me, no my Dad never touched me or did anything sexual towards me, he is a good fucking parent. I'm just putting this out there because i can already imagine that the next question will be this!!!
>>84062438>>84062477Weird question here, but do you happen to be biracial?
Im awake, this thread still up>>84062333>no way to meet peers irl>never got the chance to ask out a girl>hurrdurr its your genes
Homeschooling should be illegal. If you are homeschooling your children, the libtard state should be allowed to send armed ATF agents to your compound- sorry, trad home, and rip your children from your arms.Karen, you actually aren't smart enough to give Kaleigh and Braxton a decent education, and then they go on to turn into white niggers who in turn become robots. Your little tards will rightfully be torn apart by the world when you let them out into it with a fifth grade reading level and an understanding of history rooted in magical thinking. The curriculum you got from other "empowered moms/women of faith/etc etc" on Slopbook will probably set your children's development back at least ten years, even if you tell me they're eighteen yeas old.>B-But they have OTHER home school friends!This is like adding gasoline onto the dumpster fire that is their youth. Weirdos who dress like they stepped out of a Salt Lake City-based time machine from the 80s are not going to thrive in the modern age. Culture and society move too quick for retards like home school kids to have a place in it any more.If you are thinking of homeschooling your children, go ahead and get an abortion and then swallow the exploded embryo, just to be sure.
>>84063189thank you seinfeld actor guy
>>84063208I've shigged things you people can't believe for so long...Listen to me when I say that people who homeschool their children do it for their own vanity and not because they TRULY think they can give their kid a better education. It's disgusting.
>>84062843Nope, i'm just regular european white. Why do you ask? Is schizoism more prone for some races or something?
>>84063338nta but I did hear halfies are more prone to being nutcases. What part of europe if I may ask?
>>84063338A certain general I lurk in had a couple of girls like you, one half-black and one half-korean, so I wanted to see if we could go 3/3Bummer
>>84062159>I'm diagnosed neurotic SPD (Schizoism) on disability.Fembot Have you ever tried any sort of nutritional therapy?Like exclusion diets or keto diets?For some people they seem to work.
