How am I supposed to bring up my fetishes to my boyfriend without him judging me/changing his behavior towards me?For context I'm in my 1st year of college and he's in his 2nd. We met last semester and have been a thing since December, and we started having sex like halfway through January so it's been a couple months and we do it basically every day. It was super awkward at first because I had never done it and he had only had a gf in high school for a couple months and 1 hookup his 1st year of college so neither of us were super experienced, but now we're both way more comfortable and suggest positions and use toys and stuff. Anyways, I have raceplay/submission/slight petplay type fetishes, nothing crazy but stuff like spanking, light slapping/choking, wearing a collar/leash, light degradation, etc. but I'm scared that if I bring it up to him he'll either think I'm weird and break up with me or it'll change the way he treats me outside of sex. He's really nice and caring but I'm afraid that maybe he'll try ordering me around and degrading me outside of sex. It's stupid of me because he's done nothing to indicate he's that type of guy, I'm just nervous.
Just tell him exactly what you said here, especially the part that you dont want to be treated like that out of sex. If he is truly a good guy then he will listen
>>84151661But what if he takes offense to me implying that he might treat me that way outside of sex?
>>84151679I think its pretty unlikely that he does take offense, and even if he does then he will probably get over it after a day.
>>84151691Okay I guess I can try this. Do you think it would be better to try and get him to talk about his fetishes first and see if some of ours match? I feel like if he were into domination and I acted like I was going along with it it'd be better than telling him I'm into submission.
words words sex with chad words words words chad dick
oh really some guy is getting fresh pussy? and i get to hear about it? i think that's the part where you start using your words to make things more interesting
>>84151709Yeah, this would probably be a good way to go about it.
>>84151650How normie is your boyfriend? Does he like go to church and say "Golly gosh!"?What porn does he like? If you aren't at the porn-sharing level of the relationship, hold off on the fetishes for a little bit.
I think that this has absolutely no reason to be on this board and should be on /adv/ or reddit instead.
>>84151650are you fembrown?
>>84151650Hope you get pregnant and live in a red state
>>84151650>>84151679Fetishes are something you get out in the open basically as soon as you feel like the other person won't ruin your life with it and you're beginning to engage in sexual content. The sooner the better because even if you're sure they won't decide to witch hunt you over it or something they might just not be willing to engage with it. You might as well find out if they're okay with it or not as soon as possible so you're okay leaving if you have to and not just sticking around in a relationship where you feel sexually confined because you told your partner your fetish after marrying them and they adamantly refused it.
>>84151789anon... what do you think this board is for?
>>84151757Lol no no that normie but he doesn't use 4chan or discord or anything like that. He's just not really online.Also he doesn't watch porn, and I felt embarrassed that I did and he doesn't so I told him I don't either.>>84151886If Chinese is brown then yes.
>>84151979>Fetishes are something you get out in the open basically as soon as you feel like the other person won't ruin your life with it and you're beginning to engage in sexual content.I tell I'm heavily into anal from the get go. I've wasted too much time in my life on women that aren't sexually compatible with me. If that puts her off I saved months of pointless dating that ultimately cannot lead to a fulfilling relationship.
>>84151979>>84152375Thanks for the advice. I guess I'll try to tell him, or at least try acting on them as soon as possible. It's really not a deal breaker for me if I can't act on them though.
>>84152306>If Chinese is brown then yes.it's yellow which is between brown and white
Baby deer are so fucking cute. I wish I could pet one.
>>84151650Do what my ex did and go to soc and add a bunch of guys to discuss your fetishes with.
>>84152536I guess that makes sense lol>>84152542I don't want to cheat on my bf I love him. Unless you mean just talking about them non-sexually like I am now.
>>84151650How tall is your boyfriend femanonn?
>>84152582How do you talk about a fetish non-sexually?
kek. I had this issue as a male in your position.Basically: just be upfront, honest, and make sure you respect his boundaries. You will then learn if you two are sexually compatible/willing to meet each other in the middle.
>>84151959I too hope OP is blessed with family.
>>841526306'2" but I really don't care that much about height in high school I had 2 crushes and they were both on guys shorter than me.>>84152641I just meant like no flirting I guess. I do like being able to talk about it anonymously because it makes me feel better about them.>>84152660Thanks lol but hopefully a couple years after I graduate.
>>84151679You're overthinking it. Just explain it like you did there and go "now some people like that dynamic to extend outside of sex, but I really don't. Not that I think you'd just go and do that, but I wanna be upfront and honest with you". That's all. If you're already dating and fucking then you have nothing to be embarrassed about here.
>>84152695Okay lol I'll bring it up tomorrow. He was out of town for the weekend so maybe he'll be all the more receptive just because it's been a few days. The main one I'm embarrassed about is raceplay so I'll probably save that for another day.
>>84152682>6'2"Kekk it just so happens!
>>84152784That's why I didn't want to say. I knew people would judge even though I don't even care about height.
>>84152810>I dont care about height butttt it just so happens my boyfriend is 6ft teeheeEvery time geg
>>84152740what kind of raceplay i wanna do raceplay with my bf too but i hate playing into the wmaf steriotype
>>84152986>i hate playing into the wmaf steriotypeLmfao this is me too. I don't want him to do anything super crazy like calling me a ch*nk. Stuff like saying white cock instead of just cock and asian pussy instead of pussy. I'm also thinking buying a sexy qipao and doing my hair up in a bun with a Chinese hairpin but I'm way too embarrassed to go into a sex shop and I've had two separate failures buying lingerie online since it never fits.
>>84151650>How am I supposed to bring up my fetishes to my boyfriend without him judging me/changing his behavior towards me?Sorry to crush all of your dreams but unless you're going for a full degen route, your first rule for dating hetero CIS men are: LIE TO THEM, ALL THE TIME, ABOUT EVERYTHING, BECAUSE NOTHING IS EVER OKAY FOR THEM.LIE. LIE ACCORDING TO WHAT HIS WEAK SPOTS ARE. EXPLOIT.Honestly, just stop dating the heteros if you want a fulfilling sexuality with a dick haver.
>>84151661Nobody should ever have to deal with a conditional for respect based on "IFFFF he's a good guy"Which is why I discourage dating hetero men.Please heed if you're kinky, date kinky. CIS hetero males are mostly trad and they suck and will leave you unsatisfied.You will be happier with a fellow degen, OP
>>84152306You know deep inside he's not a good match for you.... right?
>>84151650>my boyfrienddont care, go have sex with him and dont stop until you die of starvation and/or dehydration and/or exhaustion. you dont belong here. you're not welcomed here. I will not mourn the loss of you
>>84151650I'm always blown away by you normalfags, you get into relationships with people you can't be wholly honest to, it's so weird.
