i miss my ex. hes the only partner ive ever had. sure he was an asshole and sure he abused me but i still miss the way he held me, the way he cared for me, all of that.i miss the comfort of rock bottom. i miss the abuse, the drugs, the self harm, all of it. i might have been miserable but at least it was comfortable, at least it was easy. i just wanna give up and go back.
>>84156883classic trauma-bond. you confuse intensity and pain for intimacy and love. it's very unhealthy and keeps you stuck.hope you hit a wall and grow out of it or someone can help you with it.
>>84156929yeah, i know. i just wish i didnt crave it so much. it feels impossible to overcome.
>>84156883You only liked it because he was good-looking
>>84156974sure, think that. i dont really care. but for the record he wasnt even hot.
>>84156952yea. the high highs and the low lows. so fucking addicting. brain learns to associate that person and intensity with safety or love, even when the reality was abuse, drugs, pain and misery. heres how i got away from my crazy ex-gf: 1. you have to go absolute no-contact. 2. research the pattern, the trauma-bond. once i learned what it really was, it felt a lot less real.3. talk with others about it. once you understand it and talk about it, you start to feel real stupid for going along with it for so long.4. find a healthy connection. learning what a safe and steady partner looks life was the most curing and beautiful experience, even though it felt foreign at first.
>>84156883>women would rather be abused then have to put in any effort to life whatsoeverRemind me why you should have the same rights as me again?
>>84156982He just happened to be 6'5" and look like a model
Please take your meds and go to therapy, dear bpdarling.
>>84156985thank you so much anon. im glad you were able to get out of that. it means a lot to know im not alone and your advice is much appreciated
>>84156883Interesting femanon, so how tall was he?
>>84156991he was like 5'6 and all my friends said he was ugly lol
>>84156982>>84157029why were you with him then??
>>84157034because i liked him. i was attracted to him. i thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me
>>84157036but he was ugly? how could you experience attraction for an ugly man
>>84157029So as a 5'7" guy i just need to become an abusive drug addict to get women?
>>84157024be a good girl and do it, esp the first one.
>>84157042because i liked him? he seemed like a really good guy before he revealed himself later into the relationship>>84157045i started dating him precisely because he hid that part of himself
>>84157060How tall are you?, why were you attracted to a ugly manlet?, I hope this Is not a larp
>>84157077im 5'4i was attracted to him because he was awesome. we had shared interests, he was funny, he was nice, he treated me well. i wish he never changed.
Drop an initial, then. Does yours start with an L, by chance?
>>84157103How exactly did he abuse and mistreat you
>>84157103girl be like the guy that abused me was awesomebut if you're a male virgin you're evil and deserve to die
>>84156883>i might have been miserable but at least it was comfortable, at least it was easy. i just wanna give up and go back.can you explain those feelings in more detail please?
>>84156883I wish she'd post this about me but she hates me nowI didn't even do anythingExcept the things I did
>>84157113he constantly yelled at me and would slap me across the face or push me into walls when he got too mad. it would always be about the most minor things ever.>>84157151he was awesome, before he turned abusive. that is not that crazy to say. most abusers put up a positive face
>>84157174its hard to explain, but i guess for me since i was abused/mistreated from very early on it became what was familiar. healing is an insanely hard process and it makes me start to miss that comfort of abuse.
>>84157206>>84157217Are you diagnosed with any mental health disorder? If you met a gentle loving man who never raised his hand or voice against you, would you be satisfied with him?
>>84157217thats really sad, im sorry to hear that, wish i could help.
>>84157243im diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and my therapist also has told me i likely have cptsd.>would you be satisfied with him?i dont know, i would assume so but i dont have any experience so theres no way for me to know for sure
>>84157243I'm going to stop you before you fall into the fixers trap. A relationship like that would only work if she would also bring equality into it from the start.She has to want to try.At first it will feel extremely wrong for her, and there will be moments she thinks it's boring. You can only do this with a cptsd trauma survivor if you carry enough peace for two, and the emotional maturity of a lifetime.
>>84157268Eh, I like talking with mentally ill women because I am depressed so I think we can understand each other better
>>84157275We all do, youre not special.It's not a relationship if you just prop her up and do all the emotional work. The second you step back, it will crumble, leaving you burnt out with nothing to show for it.
>>84156883I hope you persevere and find something better Op. sounds like you were strong enough and had enough self regard to get out of something bad in the first place. Good luck <3
>>84157283I mean yeah I want an equal relationship, I would not pursue a woman who was not just as interested in me as I am in her
>>84157296Good, don't fall for the fixers trap. You're welcome to offer your hand, but she has to build her own 50% of the bridge, too. And right now it sounds more like she can barely lift a single brick.
>>84157206>the most minor things ever.Such as?
>>84157322i barely remember any of it but it would always be small things like if i spilled a drink or dropped something or talked too loud on the phone. he would tell me how loud i was, how annoying i was, how i was such a klutz and just scream and scream
https://voca.ro/12Wl5U1Friy8
>>84156883 are you the foid that posted on soc about smoking weed with someone
>>84157562no, i barely go on soc let alone post
