How many hours a day does the average couple spend cuddling? Are there girls who want to cuddle for hours every day? Do they all have bpd?
I got hugged for the first time in years last night and it felt amazing.t. kissless virgin
>>84161530imagine having a clingy gf who can't fall asleep without cuddling you!
>>84161459>>84161538I don't think it's as good as you guys think it is, at least for the guy. My boyfriend was just like you, obsessed with the idea of cuddling for years, and when we did start living together for like half a year, he cuddled a lot for the first week, and then not really anymore after that. He'd either reluctantly agree to cuddle me for a few minutes or just reject me. When I asked him about it, he said he's got his fill, he doesn't need to do it anymore, it's just how it is. So don't worry about missing out, or finding a gf who only wants to cuddle rarely as it'll probably be exactly what you want after you try it out for the first time
My fembot wife can't stop to the point i would say she is clingy but i like it. If it were down to me we would only cuddle at night when we're in bed but it makes her happy which makes me happy
>>84161625No way! After being alone for 26 years, it will take me DECADES of cuddling to compensate. Also did you just want to put your face in his chest and lie in silence? Or cuddle less strictly while talking? Or spoon while watching a movie? I want all three.
>>84161625Im pretty sure if youre touched-starved for years your brain eventually breaks and your tolerance becomes near infinite.Or more likely your boyfriend is an abusechad that only keeps you around for sex.
>>84161459in a single 24 hour day I spend about 8-10 hours cuddling with my boyfriend, the majority of it is while we are sleeping
>>84161625Eh, it kind of depends. It's really nice, but you can't really do anything else while cuddling. Waking up and falling asleep cuddling and occasionally dragging your partner down to bed with you for a sudden session is amazing and makes life worth living, but in the end, you're just kind of laying there. It gets boring and restless and uncomfortable (though that last one might be my fault for being hard and bony). One arm is dead and tingling with a heavy skull holding it down, and you can only enjoy so many hours of caressing them with the other before it begins feeling like a rote chore, and you're probably starting to ache in your core and back, and your underwear is sticky and misplaced, et cetera. Try another pose and you'll be finagling to not have someone awkwardly holding their one arm between you or uncomfortably under you. I feel like you either have to switch it up pretty often or not go for too long at a time, because otherwise it gets really uncomfortable and annoying.
>>84161459I thought women fucking hated men? Why would they want to cuddle? They must be living with alpha male hypermasculine breeding bvlls that cause them to ovulate. It would feel gross to cuddle an average male.
>>84161641Nah man we were just three years younger than you when we first cuddled, so not that far away. But as for how we cuddled, it was all of it; really it's however he wants as he's the one complying to me for my request, so usually me being the big spoon, but once in a while I'll ask him to do it my way. I like being crushed while cuddling, so that it's hard to move; like a weighted blanket but not miserable to use and also its contact with the person I love which is a bonusBut he's like you guys, fucked up in his own unique way; not really his fault, just something to work on overcomingGood luck on finding someone. If you feel like you've exhausted all your options, I really do recommend seeing a therapist, like a CBT one or something. Not one that pampers you but rather one that helps you adjust yourself to be a person that can get along with others better and hold healthier relations. Not saying I think anything is wrong with you by what you said! It's just that a lot of people on this board who have trouble finding people often dismiss taking care of their mental well being when they feel like they've done all they could for their physical self. The mental part of you is far more important than the physical part of you when it comes to making long lasting relations with other women>>84161661We don't have sex (mutual agreement), and I don't think it's touch starved fried his brain. I hear it with a lot of other women complain about their BFs not wanting to cuddle. I think it's just how men process relations differently. To him he feels fulfilled and satisfied just being in the same room now; but I only feel that way if we are touching in some capacity>>84161684It's not that we only did cuddling that I liked, I tried everything where he was in the comfy position and I wasn't; it's just the main factor of being bored and restless like you said.
>>84161726I can't wait to get a girlfriend that is so disgusted by me physically that she won't even let me rub it against her thigh for 10 seconds when she's ovulating!
>>84161748I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea, I love cuddling so much, I love touching my boyfriend. Even though we've been dating for years, just holding hands makes me excited. If you ever meet someone who does that to you, you probably shouldn't be dating them
if i had a femcel gf id cuddle her for at least 3.5 hours a day minimum. even if she stank. especially if she stank.
>>84161760I really dont understand how you can make a relationship work with a man without some kind of sexual intimacy. He must be well and truly buck broken
>>84161625>he said he's got his fill, he doesn't need to do it anymore, it's just how it is
>>84161782I didn't say we didn't have sexual intimacy, just that we didn't have sex, as in regular sex. You don't need to have sex for it to make a relationship work; in fact I would never want to be in a relationship where it hinges on sex (but intimacy is another story, but for unrelated reasons). We both love each other's personalities, we both are attracted together, we both are satisfied with the level of intimacy we are at, so why raise the stakes when real sex brings so many issues to the table like accidentally pregnancy or pair bonding?When I say it's mutual, it really is, we are both satisfied>>84161797That's what I'm saying, awful stuff. It's why I was saying OP shouldn't worry about how often the girl wants cuddles, as he'll get his fill
>>84161782Don't listen to it, lmao. You're talking to an asexual freak who doesn't know the difference between romantic passion and a platonic friendship. They don't register as fully human to me, because they lack that sort of possessive madness that happens when you fall in love, and the sort of passion that completely inflames you.
>>84161948Yeah but arent all women basically asexual like that if you arent an ubermensch chad?
I am willing to write a contract saying that if I ever change my mind my future wife can restrain me for 1/3 of the day to get her daily required dose of cuddling.>>841616661/3 of my life spent tangled up with her body, her smell, her warmth, her hair etc... the dream>>84161726How I fantasize about it:1- she's the small spoon, we watch a movie toghether2- I am on my back, she's on top of me, using my chest as a pillow, or she's lying on her side on one of my arms with an arm and leg on top of me3- we're both on our sides to face each other, with one hand and leg gently touching and faces so close we feel each other's breathYeah I am in therapy right now, in group therapy actually, but hearing girls there talk about their relationships just makes me crave it more...
>>84162006You don't need to be an ubermensch, just better looking than like 60-80% of men. Also, it's pretty rare to find a woman that actually has her own sexuality and libido. Have as much leverage as possible looks wise and be able to replace her at a moments notice (have lots of female friends and others you flirt with who you know find you hot) is what will give you the best chance. Honestly, I'd say this realization regarding compatibility with libido and desire makes it easier to keep women as friends. Once you realize a girl you're talking to could never fill your heart, whatever desire you have for her dies very quickly. On the other hand, if you do meet a girl who matches you...oh boy...it's a huge weakness :c
>hearing girls there talk about their relationshipsOh christ how the fuck do you endure that
>>84162027they have to indure my multi-hour depressive nihilistic rants
HOurs every day would be nice but realistically i can only afford to cuddle like 30 minutes a day maybe. He complains it makes him sleepy and then he falls asleep isntead of playing and it makes him mad, so he wont let me cuddle all day long. I dont count sleeping stuff, since i am not conscious during it. But we usually sleep with at least some skin contact going on. Not fall asleep though, he goes to sleep much later than I do
>>84161948Read my posts man, we have sex, just not penis in vagina sex. We tried having sex at one point, as we both really wanted it, but we didn't know how to fit it in without it being painful for one of us (give me some slack, we are both virgins), so we just had to give up. So we thought to put it off until we are much more familiar with each other's bodies. So we were just intimate without piv sex, and ended up trying fetishes in the meantime, so eventually when it got down to it, it was like "If we are both sexually satisfied with things now why not save this last step until after we get engaged or married to negate the risks of pregnancy or pair bonding if we break up?" And it was a great idea.Without penetrative sex you think it's impossible to have passion? You've either never really loved another woman, or have never been intimate with someone you love to not understand this. That's why you think sex is the end all be all; that's what love is to you. I won't bother arguing with a retardYou know sex before marriage was frowned upon throughout history right? For OVER A THOUSAND YEARS, fucking moron. I suppose you think real love hasn't existed until sex was pushed into movies and everything to degrade society into a hedonistic orgy of faggotry. Think with your brain and heart at once and not with your dick>>84162006He's chad to me, incredibly handsome, but if he has sex with me and then breaks up with me, I'm killing myself. YES I am attracted to him, YES we get intimate, hate you retarded faggots who don't read and come up with your own assumptions >>84162022That's great man! I truly hope it works out for you. If you think you're in the right place to handle rejection, then just try to put yourself out there, with the goal of making friends; eventually you'll find someone who you feel clicks with you on another level. And if they stop talking to you, then don't worry about it, it wasn't meant, just gotta keep going.
>>84162043>He complains it makes him sleepy and then he falls asleep isnteadHow is that bad?! One of my fantasies is dating an insomniac who gets addicted to cuddling me and can't fall asleep without me (but with me her insomnia is completely healed)
>>84162043Also I'd like to add, that ideally I would actually just die cuddling and never let go, even to eat, cause the drug hits so damn hard for me. It is the only time during day I think life is worth living
>>84162051He is not insomniac and he hates sleeping, especially since he passes out in like few minutes wihtout any control. I am the insomniac one, and it is basically impossible for me to fall asleep unless I just choose to do it (and even then not always).
>>84162049You sound like teenagers or something, so I'll let it slide. Sex is necessary, but not sufficient for love. It's not the only thing, but it is necessary, and when you love someone, you can think of nothing more than bringing them to the height of pleasure over and over again. If you can't understand that, or have never felt that overwhelming desire, then you're just an asexual freak, and I feel sorry for you. For missing out on such an essential human experience. It opens the world before your eyes. There's a term you can search up called 'ishq', it better explains such a concept. Without penetrative sex...it would suffice for a time, but eventually I'd want that as well.
>>84162063I NEED a girl like youwho cares about the world, lets make our 10 square feet of paradise in this hellread about the lovers of valdaro
>>84162049you are not avoiding pair bonding if you are having fetish sex instead of piv sex. Pair bonding happens through oxytocin release, and just simple skin contact already fascilitates it
>>84162026Don't listen to this guy, he's retarded. It's not rare to find a woman who has a libido. And if a woman has libido issues, it could be caused by health issues, most likely a deficiency in nutrients. Could also be because of an issue in the relationship, where she feels like her needs aren't being fulfilled (but just as men have retarded quirks, women do too, and she won't talk about it).Think of it like this, men just need some some slight visual/physical stimulation to have sex, women need mental/emotional stimulation to have sex. If you're making her feel loved, and fulfilling her needs, she's going to want to have sex with you. Blackpill nonsense.>>84162076We are in our 20s man. Yeah I think of that all the time, I just don't need sex to achieve that, I can just kiss him and jerk him off and other methods I will not be discussing here until he starts crying. I don't want to get into how badly I want my boyfriend, but I very much badly do. You must not have much sexual experience to understand there's pleasure equal and greater than penetrative sex. It's not a "We will never have sex" its more so "Lets have sex when we feel like we are ready to spend the rest of our lives together; so in the meantime, we will do everything alternative that satisfies our needs" We want to have sex, don't get me wrong, but if we can hold off and just do other stuff that satiates that need for sex, then why not hold off?>>84162078Son of a bitch, I didn't know that; though to be fair even if I did, none of my actions would change. But avoiding sex until commitment does avoid a bunch of other stuff so it doesn't change a thing. I appreciate you telling me though
>>84162118You know what...I actually agree with you after thinking about it for a while. I am unfortunately a virgin in my 20s, but I have been in love with asexual takers who could never match me. I wouldn't be comfortable having sex right away (I wouldn't wait till marriage but until both of us are comfortable, and waiting that long is a hard no for me), and if I did find a woman who could match my desire fully I'd be beyond grateful. It just never happened, and whatever experiences I had basically ruined me...to the point where now I honestly just want sex and I never ever want to get close to someone and desire them so strongly only to find out they cannot match me.
>>84162160It's not every day do two autistic virgins arguing about a retarded topic come to an agreement. I want to apologize for calling you a faggot and/or retard, it was rash of me.Yeah I think the relations you have in life in the past shape your ideal; like if you had neglectful parents, you'd want a boyfriend who gave you attention 24/7. Then if you had a clingy boyfriend, you'd want a girlfriend who would give you a moderate, healthy amount of distance and closeness. I'm sure if you find a woman who is all about sex, you'll end up going "I kind of want her to be my best friend too with a likable personality" (But love is different for everyone, who knows, that could be enough for you two)Quite unlucky that you were with multiple people who were asexual, never even met someone who was; but still that sucks hard. If being up front to your next partner and saying "I have a libido, when we are both mutually close and ready, I want to have sex" would weed out asexuals, I would try that.I don't really know much about asexuals, I would say that you do get a flow of how attracted someone is to you somewhat fairly (if they make passes and/or is receptive to your passes) but maybe asexuals so that too. I hope you meet the right one for you man, sorry you had to deal with that!I'll be honest, it's extremely difficult to find a relationship where you both sustainably have the same EXACT libido. For you it could be three times a week, for her it could be once a week. Hopefully the "honeymoon" phase for when you both start to become intimate will satiate your burn out; but you can't expect things to be perfect, or people to honestly know their libido. If you love each other, you just gotta find a way to make it work one way or another in a way where you both are happy
>>84162259It's alright, I'm sorry as well. My experiences have made me cruel in how I cast judgement. I know it doesn't excuse it, of course. To desire someone so much, to grow so close and want to make them feel good, and just get nothing back. It was sort of like a bait and switch in my case, but I only realized after that whatever I got was not enough from the beginning. A starving man will eat whatever slop is put in front of him, I suppose. Honestly, I can't do it again. I just can't. I never want to put my happiness and sexual satisfaction in the hands of a woman EVER again. It will kill me. Just the thought of taking a chance and growing close, even with the filter you propose...it's just too painful. It's been many months too and it hasn't gone away either...just gotten worse actually. The only way out for me feels like casual relationships where I can at least enjoy intimacy, passion and mutual desire, but stay distant enough to exit without killing myself.
>>84161625I cuddled for the first time last month when I almost lost my virginity. It felt really nice but I could see how it would get old and uncomfortable after a while.
