there is an extremely high chance I will be going to jail for a minimum of half a year in a few weeks. do any anon's have any mostly painless or quick ways to kill oneself with average household items? my life is gonna be pretty much ruined after this and I don't wanna be buttfucked in jail.
>>84163918What'd you do criminal scum?
>>84163918You;re not going to do it. Just serve your time pussy
>>84163918Jail is better than NEETingI spent 7 years in jail for manslaughter, it turned me into a better man.
>>84163918Run in front of a semi truck
>>841639477 years for laughing? Fucking feminists have gone too far.
>>84163918it's jail not prison, you should be fine if you're not bitchmade. I did have a friend who went to jail though, dude came back as a gay sex addict not even joking
>>84163957Man slaughterNot manslaughterMen shouldn't be laughing. Comedy is for gay sissies and degenerates. See kill tony. A fanbase full of low iq right wing retards
>>84163967Every time I laugh my penis becomes more like a vagina. Someday soon I'll be riding the cock carousel. Ha ha ha! Just shrink half a millimeter. 145 more to go.
>>84163918You don't have to worry about getting ass-raped in jail, anon. As long as you aren't bothering ppl or being really rude no one will bother you. I'm pretty sure that ppl saying jail is rough are just liars trying to make themselves seem hard or something. You get free food, you play games, you make friends, you can sleep as much as you want. I miss jail, 2bh. If you're in the usa like I am they passed the PREA act like 20 yrs ago, if at any point you feel you're in physical danger of getting your ass kicked or being raped, you just tell a CO and they'll segregate you. The jail can be sued if you get hurt in the jail. Jail is actually one of the safest places you can be. I did 3 mos about a year ago, like I said sometimes i actually miss it and i'm not gay or bi or anything.Imagine being such a pussy you'd kill yourself over being afraid of jail. Holy shit you must be such a loser irl. I'm glad i'm not you.
>>84163986I would fuck you. You stupid sissy femboy
Moids will commit crimes and then cry when there are consequences
>>84164009Make me laugh so I grow my pussy in faster, you can take my virginity
>>84163918Electric cord or rope for strangulation. If you tighten it good enough you should pass out within a minute and then you'd slowly die. Just be careful because someone could interrupt you and then you'd be a vegetable
a year in jail vs an eternity in hell pick your poison
Nope. Not gonna help a pedophile. No sir. Glowies can get this one.
>>84164028Foids will fuck abusechads and cry when he leaves her
>>84163918drown yourself in a bucket of water. it does not take much water to die this way and it's faster than you think
Sorry Styx, you're here forever
>>84163918just join your race appropriate gang as soon as you arrive in jail. get some tattoos, work out etc. it cant be that hard. maybe attack some other inmate to prove your worth to your gang
>>84163918What state or country do you live in? If you're in one of those southern nigger states then yeah, you're dead.
>>84163918Bro thinks he's ougi
>>84166450Nigga, that's PRISON. Jail is the toy version.
>>84164002>>84163918You're just going to have to get use to no privacy and their shitty as fuck food.You're going to shit, and wipe,, in front of 20 dudes.But the silver lining is the food they give you shouldn't create messy bowel movements, and you shouldn't have to shit more than once a day either.At the end of it, you'll end up with a girl spending the night st your place, you'll take a shit with the door wide open, she'll see you doing it, and respect tf outta you for it.You won't think anything of it because that's what you did for 6 months.Unlike me in Juvie for a week. The cortisol spike made it feel like I didn't need to.Clogged the toilet with my shit alone once I got home.Also on Juvie they made you shower in front of everyone. There was a steel gate which covered the view of your dick to your nipples, but it was directly under the TV in the common area.It was a god damn peep show of minors.In our state penal system which has laws against pedophilia.I digress.Put money into canteen bud.I cannot eat the greasy oil/soap-sheened half inch thick fatty/sinewy slabs of cold ham. Fucking nasty.Maybe mail yourself some books ahead of time, bring them to thr post office, have them scheduled to mail at certain intervals, mailed to yourself in jail. That would be a boss move.Not sure what you can mail these days.If you could mail yourself a care package of canteen, it may be cheaper than jail canteen.Fucking sucks though.But also you fucked up.I have never faced time like you have.You did some some dumb shit, hurt people, and probably repeatedly.Sin no more.
>>84163918please dont kill yourself buddyhalf a year will go by in the blink of an eye & youll be back on your feet with the whole world in front of you<3
>>84163918Get very drunk then go for a run while eating nuts and reciting the alphabet.
