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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001


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>be me, a few minutes ago
>kinda have to poop
>not gay but it's kinda fun and feels a little nice when I use my anal muscles to push the shit back and forth inside my ass
>maybe that's because it's touching my prostate but I'm not even sure where that is to be real
>fart out a lot of gas
>ok that felt pretty good
>keep moving the shit back and forth internally via my sphincter muscles while watching YouTube on my phone
>get really into it
>probably too much
>body says enough is enough
>internal sensors go off
>the shit has breached the asshole
>holyfuckredalert.jpg
>clench my bootyhole shut with the strength of a thousand men
>have to book it to the bathroom
>barely make it to the toilet and release the logs
>a quiet sense of calm and relief washes over me
>mfw I came very close to having logs falling out on the carpet

I'm probably never doing that again. Maybe.
>>
It's an effective way to dodge the draft
>>
>>84228864
I took a shit in ibiza
>>
>>84228864
>>not gay but
>proceeds to say some really gay shit
>>
>be me at 17
>in school
>suddendly i start to feel the most intense belly pain that i felt in my entire life
>need to shieet
>usually they don't let anyone go to the bathroom, but the terror on my face + the fact that i was the only student that wouldn't use the bathroom to fight/fuck/do drugs softened the heart of the teacher
>she lets me go
>run down stairs, through school, and then AGAIN upstairs to reach the bathroom
>i almost can't reach it
>pretty sure that a little bit of poop escaped my being
>i sit down on the first toilet i see, there was no wall in between them so i didn't even watch where the hell i sat
>i push industrial quantities of excrement out of my body, kilos and kilos of it
>for around a minute, my ass was literaly an open faucet liberating a great caudal of shit
>never felt something like that before or after the event
>it's finaly over
>i feel victrious and calmed
>i stand up to see my creation
>and then i see it
>oh no
>i sat on one of those stupid german toilets and shat there, and the posibilities that i could flush that thing were 0
>picrel is an aproximation
>i do NOT exagerate when i say that the toilet was almost overflowing with poop, like a glass FULL TO THE TOP of water
>it of course didn't flush
>i couldn't just leave it there
>i had to think
>i put my pants without cleaning my dirty rectum (no tp there of course) and think of a plan
>i plan to ask the cleaning lady for a plastic bag, and use it to grab the shit piece by piece and put it slowly in other toilet
>i go for her
>she says she doesn't have any bag
>only a rag and a bucket
>fac
>so i take it, go back to the bathroom and begin to use the rag to grab pieces of thick, almost liquid shit.
>i fail miserably, get full of shit from my hands to my hair and clothes
>the cleaning lady walked in and found my on my knees, drenched in shit, grabing pieces of my own excrement with almost my bare hands
>she tells me to go to the girl's baths, where there is water to clean myself



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