I still don't understand why my ex kamikaze'd our relationshipif I had no standards, self respect, or pattern recognition ability we would probably be on-again off-again but when we first started dating I said "the only thing I will never forgive is abandoning me" and that won't ever suddenly changehave you ever had a seemingly perfect relationship implode due to just severe mental illness? Some form of extreme psychological self-harm? Especially if there's been "i miss u" texts afterwards.
>>84309090Fuck that bipolar bitch (not literally) I aint ever going back
>>84309115bipolar would be like, severe changes monthly or even weeklyI'm talking more a relationship that lasts at least a year or two then just implodeshonestly there's probably a lot of divorced anons here that had a marriage that lasted upwards of a decade before the whore imploded
>>84309227yes, she was extremely avoidant and i was extremely assertivethats just inherently incompatibleat the slightest confrontation she would ghost me for years, only for her to suddenly pop back up like some sort of mushroomthe first time i was pretty happy because i was an arse and it gave me an opportunity to make things right and be a better personthe second time i just told her to sod off, im not entertaining this bitch again
>>84309090Because they are locked in a pattern, and you can only keep to your boundaries, as you did, but you never out-love someone else's trauma.
>>84309090>have you ever had a seemingly perfect relationship implode due to just severe mental illness?Yes, two months ago. We really liked each other too.But unfortunately she had trauma from her past, and I didn't tolerate her projecting her issues onto me. So basically she either had to sort out her problems or leave me. She chose the latter. The weird thing is that the whole time I could tell she really did love me, but wanted to break up because she couldn't tolerate having to face all of her accumulated issues. Apparently I was not important enough to her for her to confront her problems. She would rather continue to live in mental illness than be with me. Made me realise she probably didn't value me or see partnerships in the same way I did.But yes, the distinct feeling struck me that we were breaking up because of her mental illness, not really out of any genuine lack of love for each other.
>>84309537>Apparently I was not important enough to her for her to confront her problems. She would rather continue to live in mental illness than be with me.Sadly, that's not how it works. The simple truth is that she did not have the capacity at that point in time. And she might never.You gave everything you can, and I'm sure you were highly capable, but you can't out-logic mental illness.And in the end with people like that, it doesn't matter how well you play your game of chess, because they are eating the pieces on their side of the board.
>>84309568youre pretending theres a false dilemma, both can be true at the timeshe couldve not deemed him important enough AND she couldve not had the capacity to deal with problems in a healthy way
>>84309609Sure, he does seem to be romanticizing the pathology to soften the relational blow.But to people with trauma importance just means urgency, addiction, obsession. And those things are naturally unsustainable and burn out.Still, she did stick with the toxicity she knows than the safety he offered. Knowing why doesn't change the outcome.
>>84309652that's a lot of fancy words to say "that bitch retarded"
>>84309981You can have your own vernacular, I'm just explaining it clinically.
