there is no world where you are special and important to someone but they don't talk to you for weeks. they're not that busy.
>>84310318there is. it's called trauma. but that often just explains it, doesn't excuse it.
>>84310468no, you are just not that important. disposable.
>>84310643of course. so are you. but that doesn't mean you aren't special and important. people just prioritize their own survival, i've done it many times myself.
>>84310679of course me. this thread is by me, directed at me. reminding myself how i don't matter at all.special and disposable are oxymorons. if i was ever special i wouldn't be buried beneath all the other disposable options. that's not prioritizing survival, you just don't matter the way you think you do. you're just regular. nothing special.
>>84310318It's okay to me, I can't keep up with everyone else. Maybe it's better to stay alone.
>>84310318Right, but you're not special or important so what were you expecting?
>>84310716>this thread is by me, directed at meHave you tried having an internal monologue?
>>84310716but you are special to someone, what you want to be isn't just special and important, what you're asking for is life-changing, being someone's soulmate.
>>84310884yeah, i maladaptively talk to it all day, every day, for weeks on end to make up for a lack of any conversations with anyone. my internal monologue tries to gaslight me into thinking i matter. this thread is to remind me that i don't. >>84310862it's not okay with me. i want to keep up and be someone else. i hate being alone.>>84310878yeah, my bad.>>84310891i am not special to anyone, don't lie and spread falsehoods like this.
>>84310908you are special, and you actively having to suppress that feeling already proves that point.
>>84310954i am not special. where do you gain your misbegotten confidence from? how can you speak so passionately on something you're so wrong about when you know nothing at all? are you just trying to soothe yourself with those words?
>>84310974because it doesn't matter what you think about yourself. being special and important to someone isn't about what you do, it's just about how they feel about you.
>>84311042do you realize how utterly insane this sounds? that "being important isn't about what you do"? how someone feels about you is based on what you do. nobody thinks you are special just because you ``exist". being special is about what people do for each other?i am not special, because nobody 'feels that way' about me, expresses it, demonstrates it. is it really that difficult to comprehend some people really are abject failures and loners?
>>84311072you're in a raw, self-reinforcing spiral of selfhate, self-sabotage, and rejection of comfort.worth doesn't have to be earned through doing stuff, performing. it's not proven externally.my kindness isn't gaslighting, your internal monologue is simply self-loathing. and you push me away for it.you're in despair.
>>84311114your kindness is empty platitudes wrapped around niceties and other false statements. you are the fortune teller of positivity, generalist nothing with no substance. despair is a natural state of being when you are rejected at each and every turn. worth is proven externally in what you do for others, not in a transactional sense but in what you can be and how you can make them excel.i rot and wither into a gross mess because i have no stability, no nothing. there is no comfort in a stranger's drive-by self-help book take based on zero understanding, knowledge, or context. push you away? we don't know each other.
>>84311159you're just using intellectualized contempt to fortify your identity as broken. an irredeemable failure.i don't mind you invalidating my words to avoid vulnerability. you're in a self-protective despair loop. using your own suffering to repel any kindness, any help, and to preserve the "truth" of your own worthlessness.
>>84310908You need to learn to enjoy being alone. The sooner you realize it, the better.
>>84311275there is no magical help for people, misaki does not exist. so long as there's worth there's worthlessness. there is no just world. empty words and false hope like you speak aren't "help" either. i'm not special. at all.>>84311331i hate it. there's nothing to enjoy in it anymore. i've done it my entire life, for decades. what would really help? having people consistently in my life.
>>84311468your zero-sum worldview just exists in your head. hide behind your depressive nihilism. ust it as a shield. if the universe is unfair and help impossible, you remove any obligation of change, connection, or relief. coward.and still, you're special and important to someone.
>>84311468>there's nothing to enjoy in it anymoreDo you hate posting on 4chan? I mean, let's be honest, you're alone when you're posting here.>having people consistently in my lifeWhy do you think that the people around you have something specially against being your friend?
>>84311493your terminal optimism is aggravating. telling someone completely isolated and alone with no friends or family that they are "special and important to someone" has to be ragebait.>>84311518i'm neutral about it. it's a pressure release valve for my menhera.>Why do you think that the people around you have something specially against being your friend?i have nobody around me, are you kidding?
I've been alone for so long but every day when I wake up I feel miserable because I'm alone even while knowing that having relationships is a chore and not worth the effort. Ultimately I'm happier being alone and maybe you would be as well.
>>84311563>i have nobody around meYour opening post implies that you have acquaintances who ignore you.>are you kidding?Do I look like I'm kidding?
>>84311563we've seen enough now. nothing more to unpack here. your pattern of rejecting comfort to protect the identity of worthlessness is clear to me. consistent. and sadly, self-sustaining.>i'm not special to anyonehas been twisted into your identity. every attempt to offer you kindness or value gets wrecked, dismissed, or attacked because it threatens that identity. so.. you're not looking for understanding, you're enforcing your own pain and pushing away anything that might challenge it.time to move on.
>>84311610you're putting on a bit and not offering any sense of understanding or outreach. you're dribbling masturbatory feel-good nonsense and changing to different approaches every time your shallow effort doesn't land. normie tier. you have no interest in helping people, you're just proselytizing on your own moral crusade.>>84311604>Do I look like I'm kidding?yes? fair-weather acquaintances are not 'friends', i am disposable.
>>84311670you're still enforcing the identity of worthlessness, by accusing me of bad faith, shallowness, and moral posturing. that every approach (empathy, philosophy, bluntness, persistence) has been dismissed not on content, but reframed as evidence that i'm fake or self-serving or lacking genuine understanding. that way you get to reject the message without ever engaging the core issue: your refusal to let any positive regard, kindness or hope land.and so, the loop remains perfectly self-sustaining... -spins-but i'm right. nothing more to unpack. pattern is clear, consistent, and locked in. i'll leave you now.
>>84311688ai has better contextual capacity and metaunderstanding than you do. you talk like a chatbot on a broken script cycle. accusations are admissions, you dismiss any challenge to your viewpoint and double down. everything you type is for your own feelings and to reinforce a worldview you're desperate to hold onto.
>>84311670>yes?But I'm not.>are not 'friends', i am disposableOkay. How do normies make friends then?
>>84311705most normie friendships evolve from being forced in the same room as people for extended periods of time. school, work, hobbies. consistent interaction and engagement, mutually. then they fork out and navigate a web of connections between people from that baseline network established through family and friends.ephemeral shallow talk on discord chat for gamers a handful of times a month before an inevitable ghosting is not equivalent
>>84311702>>84311727You honestly sound defensive, there were some good points in the other guys responses. I was in therapy for 2 years and could tell you much of the same. You even said you have acquaintances at some point, but you don't value them so you ARE pushing people away on purpose.You're projecting and deflecting with every response OP and attacking anyone for typing in here with you. That's bad.So if you wanna keep larping the irredeemable loner, fine. But stop acting like you are beyond help while refusing any hand offered lol
>>84311814exquisite bait here i'll bite. no, i do not push others away. i am pushed away. there is no "help" of "hand offered". does it cross your mind perhaps that i value and try to nurture connections but i am the one denied and pushed away? do you really think baseless sophistry like "you are special to someone" is "help" when i have NOBODY in my life at all? yeah, let me humiliate myself by sending more paragraphs to no response.. at all.. ever.. to anyone i reach out to..there's your (You).
>>84310318There is no world where the projections of your own mental illness negate the symptoms and struggles of another's. Not that every ghoster is distant as a symptom of mental illness. Some people don't care. Some people say it's an avoidance issue and they are knowingly or as a result of not knowing themselves well enough, making excuses. Some. Not everyone is making excuses. Some people are paralyzed to the incapacity to communicate because you consume them so thoroughly they are literally physically and mentally immobilized by how much space you occupy in their heart and mind. The confidence you assert this cruel, accusatory, and pessimistic delusion with speaks to your true intentions and moral character.Why are the ugliest inside drawn toward avatars of purity and beauty, anyhow? There are at least four or five other fake deep moeposters like you I've encountered on /r9k/ over the last three years embodying this contradictory model. They always seem to have been wounded by a love interest and/or an abusive parent. They always seem to have an interest in literature, poetry, or classical arts that they see as more sincere or intellectual/spiritual than others who identify as readers, writers, artists, musicians, et cetera. They always seem to be seeking validation that anyone who ever harmed them was an ontologically bad person and that their validation seeking is actually an overall selfless act because this person or community who hurt them is a danger if not exposed and acknowledged. Do you think healing might be on the other side of empathy, not coordinated condemnation that doesn't even pay off when someone not similarly Tall Poppy Syndrome or baggage-afflicted engages your self-soothing narrative to counter the blatant dishonesty, self-deception, and neuroticism?
>>84311849Holy cope. Keep seething, you're a defensive sperg with a victim complex kek
You can masquerade as someone self-hating phishing for reassurance and only speaking in self-deprecation, but I will not stand for the blackness you spread shamelessly, even if the masquerade has become the new you to save you from the fate of the self revealed to you through these people you now seek to sacrifice upon the alter of your performative anguish.
>>84311905tl;dr"Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein
>>84311911there u go. was it hard having some pretense of actual engagement in a thread when you were trolling all along?>>84311905that is a lot of words can you dumb it down for me? i don't think anyone who harms others are ontologically evil. relationships are hard, we only have finite time, and either you're in someone's mental bandwidth (special) or you're not.>>84311919what the fuck is this sentence
>>84310318That's self evident. People show you how much they care with their actions. I never bought the "I care about you a lot I just can't respond to you within 24 hours" bullshit. In this day and age we all have phones with us all the time, no one is too busy to respond unless they prioritize other things and that shows you how much they value you.
>"i actually liked talking to you and that is so rare">stops replying to you not even 2 months laterWomen are mysterious creatures
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiYDJ432b0U
>>84310318trvke, you should think out loud more often
>>84312171i think too much.. blar>>84312055this is not unique to one gender..>>84312010it seems so obvious and evident i am confused people want to entrench and fight over it. 24 hours i can maybe extend out to like 72 given how life is sometimes, but weeks just means youre not special at all and being prioritized way down the list.>>84311937oh its the christschizo
