I really don't know how to deal with my hatred of this world and how I was born and raised and how I had to deal with everything all alone, taking years to deal with my mental trauma and how I ate so much shit to cope with everything so it made me fat, wasting years on depression a my only form of relationship being some stupid bitch I met online who is responsible that I lost all my savings I made from smart investing because I used leverage in hope to live with her. It took me over 1 year to fix my obesity (going from 170kg down to 88) and now I am starting to build up muscle mass for the first time in my life. The thing is I am nearly 30 and it feels all so fucking pointless. Like I know what I have to do to fix my life but I struggle to see for what. Nobody in this world was ever there for me, not my shitty family, no gf, nobody I had to fight all this years alone. I 100 % refuse to ever be with some post walled 30+ year old woman I missed out on so many milestones. Only the prospect of one day never having to work again for some boss, having my dream body and having sex with young women sound appealing to me. I am a broken human I don't want a family or children I would be not only a horrible dad, I legit hate women so much I don't think I could be a good partner for one as well. I know probably nobody is going to read anything I write here but fuck it feels so lonely -and no I don't want some bs online friendship ever again fuck that or some moral talk- I just want to know if others can relate to me. Every day I try to be stronger, it is logical with your body but not with the mind, or maybe my mind is just so fucking weak idk. I legit should not have been born but now I am here stuck in this meat prison and killing myself feels pointless at this point.
Okay so where can I post then, /r9k/ used to board for posts like this. I am fine with using a different site because 4chan seems dead.
>>84313768i will not engage self absorbed "this is me" posts
>>84313768tumblr maybe? it's just entitled ramblings really.
>>84313887Na that is not anonym and filled with women no thanks.
