>21 year old khhv>not in the physically best shape>severely suicide since like age 5>sperg (social skills and theory of mind have somewhat improved but still)>either socially outlasted, straight up bullied, or used as a jester in every friend group.>was literally the school lolcow>feels disconnected from everyone, even family>Dropout (severe ocd fucked up my academic career)>neet >substance addicted>no friends or anyone to hangout with. Just alone all dayI'm living proof that a loving, just, and all knowing benevolent God isn't truly real. And if he is, he's a psychopathic bustard who basically created this world to be as systematically and naturally unfair as possible. If God truly loved me, I just simply woudnt have been born. It's ogre for me
You're still young, things can get better for you if you start trying. If you're talking about God honestly believing in one might help you with getting out of alcoholism and finding a community and whatnot
Just be happy you're not 29, addicted to heroin, working a depressing wagie job just to not be in withdrawal hell. You have the benefit of being young still and could potentially turn it around. I've lost all hope and just seek to get as loaded as possible and maintain. Don't end up like me.
demons (normies) attacked you and demons (alcoholism and mental illness spirits) attack you because you are dangerously anointed and threaten them
>>84349056Lift weights for seven months. Don't whimp out. Go to rock and roll shows with a cool t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Have fun. A girl will literally try and talk to you. Don't shy away. Engage. You will get laid.
https://youtu.be/8a0jQ9s0vTYOP do NOT fall victim to alcoholism. Simply cut out toxic people out of your life and learn boundaries. It's spiritual warfare against you. /r9k/ is also full of subhumans who will torture you to extract anxiety and pain from you. Leave while you still can. Learn boundaries. Tell these subhumans to fuck themselves and don't turn away from God. You don't have to believe in the Biblical God literally, but don't turn away from the creator completely.
>>84349056i think this gen might be fucked, cause your story is a dime a dozen. I'm in like exactly the same boat except I managed to be well-liked at school, but to most in a way that's not much more than a jester would get. that and my family keeps constantly telling me to stop caring about my dreams and to go die for israel. (join the military)
>>84349248>that thumbnailIs god coming on his face?
>>84349326>>84349248>>84349248>>84349210Thanks for the help anons sorry for the late reply. But is my story unfortunately not as uncommon as I thought?
>>84349365Brother, you are 21, your life quite litearlly just begun, most people are lost on one way or the other at this age, unless you were born in a family of billionaires or something
Boring snca, you've never tried talking to God, youve never tried, you only ever give up, you want shit handed to you on a silver platter, try harder or just give up.
>>84349501Not OP but someone in a similar age. My question is: >you are 21, your life quite litearlly just begunIs that true? Honestly it seems like my problems are structural and I can't change anymore.
>>84349056 o G00 o____ G0d ____ G
>>84349542>my problems are structural and I can't change anymore.Where did you even got the time to cement those structures? Unless its something caused by the situation you grew up in, but either way
>>84349572Prematurely posted.Either way you still got enough time to change those systematic issues
>>84349056please dont lose hope of things turning aroundhandling intense suicidal thoughts for a decade and a half is awful, youre stronger than you realizeim sorry you had to deal with such ostracization while dealing with something so heavy...you can still develop the social skills you need to feel connected to othersperhaps you should start spending more time with your family first? it should be a bit easier to interact with them cause youve already developed a relationship and theyll likely be understanding of your difficultiesdo you play any online multiplayer games? that can be a somewhat pressure free way of meeting new people while you have something to focus on during the dead air of conversation
>>84349056>21 year oldeverything can change very quickly at your age
>>84349056hello memeet the real me(originally)
>>84349795Thank you for the kind words friend>>84350015You sure?
>>84349056This is me except people clearly thought I was on the verge of shooting up the school before I got out. Anyways now I'm 29 and despite dedicating my life to my moral beliefs rooted in wanting everyone to get a fair shot and fair treatment I have nothing to show for it and every person I have ever cared about stabbed me in the back. People will say things can change. It's retarded cope. Things only happen if someone makes them happen. No one is going to make it happen for you - so if you want things to change, you have to make it happen. If you wanna make money you got ways to do it. If you want hole, same deal. There's a clear line to achieve anything life, even if it's not a completely straight one... EXCEPT getting someone to love you.That's where I've stopped and where most anyone will too. The bottom line is you can't make anyone give a shit about you. It doesn't matter how successful you are, how hot you are, how kind or sincere or selfless you are, none of it matters. They will tell you that you have to just do X Y or Z, but you'll see people over and over who get loved despite literally 0 redeeming qualities, who do none of the things you'll be told you "have" to do in order for anyone to like you.And you'll wonder, shouldn't this mean you still have a chance?And the answer, for some reason, is no. Because it's all arbitrary and the world seems like it's designed to fuck you.
