>Vampire>Chuds will call me a fraud, but I know what I am>Live in the shadows and hide my true identity>Never get close to anyone#LoneWolf>My daily life revolves around my median salary man job>No one suspects that I am the only predator that humans should be afraid of>Every sunday go out to feed on unsuspecting virgin men>Its not gay because my body requires blood and women eat semen so its actually gayer to drink their blood>This sunday is like any other>Its 11:11, the predator number as vampires call it>Its time>Jump out my 7th story window and turn into a bat>Start flying around like an apache helicopter trying to locate tonights dinnersmell_the_blood_of_a_virgin.bat (pun intended)>Lock in and trace the smell to a wonky incel smoking pot in a park>The perfect target>Tranform mid air and do a quintuple triple flip landing in front of him-HoLY sHit Br..->I silence his retardation with a bitch slap move that a pimp taught me in ancient rome>Before he can recover, I jump towards his artery (the big one)>As my fangs pierce his neck, my spider sense tingles>I lunge out of the way of an attack last secondAWOOOOOOO.cringe>Its an incelwolf... the cringiest of creatures>I stand at my full height and mog at the creature-How dare you interrupt my swag, cringewolf?- I bark at him through my chapped lips>The wolf, clearly angered by my ragebait, lunges again>I smirk and try to dodge thinking he is as chromosome deficient as the rest of his kind>He actually manages to grab me by the capeoh_shit.pepe>fuck u superman, why did u have to influence me so much>I cover my head expecting the old one, two, but he rips my pants off instead>I try to push his bulking figure off, but it isnt working>The wolf turns me around and pushes his dog cock inside of my vamp assholeit_hurts.png-You are about to find out why they call me the knotter- He roars in my earGet back home about 2 hours later>I fucknig hate dogs, you guysDeath to all dogs
It's because dogs show you affection if you feed them and most people are starved of affection
>I don't get why people like dogs that muchJust shitty people wanting to own a shitty animal. It's always the shittiest people who have dogs.>just be out running/walking/whatever>their dog starts trying to bite>them: "tHeY dOn'T bItE!!! HeZ a GoOd BoY!!!">*their dog procedes to attack*>"yOu MuSt Be A bAd PeRsOn!!!"No, it's that the dog is shitty. The worst ones are the ones who are shitbulls.
