i finally got a girlfriend, but it hasn't really fulfilled me yet, i can't really share much of myself with her, and i don't feel like she actually understands me at allso, what was the point?
>>84453800Did you fall for the "dating for the sake of dating" meme? That's usually a bad choice if you want actual connection and just grabbed the first girl who said yes.
>>84453816i don't know, i don't really connect with other people in general i didn't pick the first girl, the one i'm with is definitely one of my favourite women i've met
>>84453800>i can't really share much of myself with her,I guess that was all the incentive you needed to make her your girlfriend.
I don't know anon, maybe you will be able to open up to her as you gain intimacy and, in the same way, maybe she will begin to understand you more as you get to know each other better.Keep in mind that I'm friendless and gfless so this may be a shitty, ungrounded answer.
>>84453977If he opens up she will get the ick and start looking elsewhere. His best option right now is to act mysterious and nonchalant to fuel her limerence so that they're together long enough to at least have sex and hope things take off from there.
>>84453800how long have you been dating her for? i know i didn't feel super close with my partner until enough time passedmaybe you're like me :p
>>84453977idk i feel like there are many things you just can't tell your partner because you'll either piss them off or disgust them>>84453992>>84453998we've been together about a year now and have sex pretty regularly, though not much recentlyi already pretty aloof just generally
>got a girlfriend>can't share much of myself with herI don't understand how one gets a girlfriend. Like isn't that the way? how can you be with someone you can't even talk to?
>>84454005anon why the fuck are you with her if you feel like this, that's pretty cruel
>>84454009idk i found it pretty easy after i self-improved myself out of being a neet, it's not like i share nothing with her, there are just select things that i keep secluded
>>84454016i don't know, pretty much everyone i know says it's pretty normal to feel like this to some extenti also guess i was hoping it would get better over time, it's also not like i don't feel close to her, there are just some things i know would upset her
>>84454005Been together a year and regular sex but still not comfortable enough to open up? It's a no brainer. But I guess you might as well make good use of her company for as long as you're willing.
>>84454023i guess i just don't see the point, it doesn't really benefit me in any way to share more, and there are certain things that will just upset her, so what's the point?obviously i'd like to have a wholly open relationship, but i just don't think that's even realistic for me
>>84454022this sounds like a conversation to have with your gf, so go forthnothing kills a relationship faster than apathy. she will notice eventually and leave if you don't address it now!!!!!
>>84453800I dunno man, I spent my money on weed instead of foids so I am sluggish, lazy, stupid, and unconcerned... feels good.
>>84454039i don't think i'm really capable of not being apathetic, i'm diagnosed schizoid personalityplus, talking about it would almost implicitly mean that i'd have to admit a ton of things to her rapidly, like that i'm bisexual or have a history of drug abuse>>84454046i also smoke too much weed, loli only post when i'm high
>>84454076>i'm diagnosed schizoid personalityME TOO! !! !! !!!!! wait waiti've made my condition and its associated eccentricities very apparent to my bf. i don't think we could have survived this far without having this made known.in my experience, there's a difference between the apathy i feel in general and how i feel towards him (perhaps it's the same for you?) i was very insecure about this and worried about our prospects until we talked it outalso if you can't be 100% honest with your partner, then wtf is the point
>>84454017what kind of things anon? and why you think it will upset her? I've meet some girls who where too different in some regards (like politics, life perspective, future ambition) and stepped away from them since i knew it wouldn't work even if my dick regrets it
>>84454102i do think that i love her even though it's kind of difficult for me to tell, she's certainly motivated me to try a lot harder at my lifei've told her that i have schizoid personality, but she's been a little dismissive, she's autistic and says that it seems effectively just like another type of autism, which i don't think it's true at all, i think that her lack of understanding is just a part of her autismi probably should talk to her about it, but i don't know how to make it not come off as "i'm not as capable of emotions and love as you are" and "i hate spending time with your friends"i agree that i should be able to be honest with her, but i guess i just don't know how she'll react to most of it, as i've said, i don't think she's as able to empathise with things she doesn't understand, and i worry that the things i'm referring to will be outside of her realm of understanding>>84454129i think that my prior drug use will disgust her because she hates drug addicts, i think my bisexuality will give her the ick as a subconscious reaction even though she loves gay people, and i think my political opinions would make her angry
>>84454143if you're not a drug addict anymore, she shouldn't complain. I understand the bisexual stuff, maybe make cuestions about that and see how she reacts and based on that how you feel.i don't think talking about politics it's worth it, as it can back fire really hard, most of the girls i liked in the past where my polar opossite so i never tried to step on that lane lol.How much you really like her anon? She doesn't seem like wife material for you, i would just enjoy the moment but if you don't really care that much atleast try to learn about having a girlfriend so you don't fuck up if a new better one comes by
>>84454143the "i think i do" is usually the sign that you do for people like us!! once you kinda acknowledge this it gets easier to express it in my experience...schizoids + autism are related so you at LEAST have that, but explaining your needs/strange behaviors shouldn't be any different when she expresses her own!!really i cannot stress enough how keeping this quiet will just set you up for failure. if you value this, you NEED to address it. you got all the time in the world to think about how to do it/bounce it off other people, but you MUSTif it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. wouldn't you prefer ending it sooner than later? skip all the extra heartache and drama? that's how i saw it when i addressed it myself :]
>>84454178>She doesn't seem like wife material for youwhy do you say that?i also broadly agree with her, i do intend to tell her about my drug use and potentially my bisexuality, but i think politics is probably best undiscussed >>84454191>explaining your needs/strange behaviors shouldn't be any different when she expresses her own!!i feel like my eccentricities are harder to explain without coming off badly, and i feel like she's less understanding and more likely to be hurt by my sharing than i am by herswhat exactly, of the things i've said, do you think i need to address? because i don't feel like all of it is must share
>>84454191>the "i think i do" is usually the sign that you do for people like us!!i'm also glad you think that, i've often wondered if i'm actually capable of true affection, but i do think i am, albeit to a reduced extent
>>84453800this is my worst fearwhat if i don't like her and she doesn't like me and neither of us say anything
>>84454229it's how i experienced it at first. it was a reluctant "uhh.. i think so?" and then it became very very easy to admit and express. i think we have the capacity to love deeper than we think, it's just our own fears and walls we put up that stop up from going further most times>>84454220i mean, if you really think about it.. it's kinda a crazy win on her part. out of all the people a schizoid chose to pursue, it was her. i don't mean this in a "you should be honored" type of way, but more in a "see? i'm really trying here and want to continue this" way>what exactly, of the things i've said, do you think i need to address?write down the things you're insecure/worried about in the relationship and address them with her. whatever you've said here/haven't said. it will eat at you until it ends or she'll notice and end it herself. this is the only way anon..!!!!
>>84454260i'd probably do them one at a time, i think springing them on all on her in an itemised list might be a bit much for heri'll try to be more open though, may i ask how you spoke about being schizoid with your partner? i don't really know how i'd put it, being blunt about it seems like it would be extremely hurtful
>>84454220if you really want her as a wife great anon, but you would need to tackle all of that and maybe more in the future. Sometimes i do want a gf too but just thinking about this things makes me realize i may no want them that much after all, but if you feel like itz worth that's a great sign to push forward
>>84453992No, if she is unable to care about him when he opens up then she is worthless. Living a life bottles and lying to her about how you feel is fucking retarded.
>>84453800i feel like relationships aren't so much as a "make or break" single situation, like i'm sure you've already been told this but it's a processalso, a relationship won't really fulfill you, you gotta find that within yourselfa partner will however help you find it and amplify the fulfillment you'll eventually feel when you do get ithere's hoping, anondo your best, ok?>>84454293>may i ask how you spoke about being schizoid with your partner?she was very straightforward about it, as she generally is about anythingi was pretty puzzled at first because it seemed to me like a schizoid's instincts were to just stay alone so i wondered what she was even doing there, lolbut it turns out it's not black and white like that, schizoids just need their alone time but it doesn't mean they don't want to interact with people altogether, they're not misanthropeswe talked a lot over time about future prospects, likes and dislikes, etc.it took time for me to get used to how she's like, adjusting to her eccentricities and her need for alone time or physical/emotional distance but it was worth itthe key to this is that it's a two way street, anoni adapted but she also tried her best to change some things about herselfif you and your girl are willing, you'll find a way over time
>>84454729i certainly have been finding my own internal peace, to the point that i don't even really feel like i -need- a partner, but i like to have one and i do think she's helped mei am trying to be good to her even though it's pretty against my nature to be a loving boyfriend, i really need to help her understand my disorder, because i really don't think she gets it (she keeps inviting me to large group settings), i will be more open with her, probably not immediately though
>>84454782>i don't even really feel like i -need- a partner, but i like to have onehmm... it depends on what formaybe you don't need one to live, but you might need one to become a better person, to evolvewe're often blind to a lot of our needs (speaking from experience) so give it some thought sometime>i am trying to be good to her even though it's pretty against my nature to be a loving boyfriendthat's all anyone can ever askyou're one of the good ones already for that alonebut if you're anything like nep, you're likely a person of action rather than wordswe all love in our own way, and i feel like it's highly important that the two of you understand this, the way you love her doesn't mean you love her any less than she loves you, or vice versaso long as you feel hers for you, and she feels yours for her, then it's finethat's all you need>i really need to help her understand my disorderyeah, i think you're on the right track theretake it slow, take your time, explain your perspective on the disorder itself and how you relate to itshe might be like how i was, thinking all you need is a little push to change, which isn't always the caseyou can compromise and adapt to an extent, but you won't ever be as outgoing as she seems to be, lolbut do treat her every once in a while, ok?
>>84454811i agree that i do need a partner, i think it's massively beneficial for methank you for your kind words, i'll try talking to her more, it's not like we aren't emotionally intimate, but there are certainly things she should know
>>84455199glad to help, frencommunication is the lifeline of any relationship, so i wish you two the very best of luckstay safe, and godspeed
Men are so emo and gay what the fuck is this shit Wahhh I don't love her like a wife when we've barely been acquainted and been through no hardshipsNo shit. It's the honeymoon period and you AREN'T HAPPY? You just wanna be miserable. I hate neurotic men
>what was the pointsex
