I don't like self-diagnosing but I'm desperate to find out what's wrong with me. A lot of it can be attributed to OCD, which I have been diagnosed with, as well as autism and depression, but I have a feeling there's a lot more going on. Here's a checklist of what I've noticed about myself:>indifference towards pursuing romantic relationships (but not low libido, as romantic relationships are substituted by alternatives such as pornography and fantasism)>private contempt and cynicism at most people and similar thoughts when socialising>feelings of alienation and not belonging>feeling as though you are corrupted and cannot mingle with others because you are "too far gone">simultaneous/alternating feelings of superiority and inferiority>desire to "mask" socially and the fear of revealing too much of your true thoughts>fear of mingling friend groups and paranoia over the perception one would have over your secret beliefs/identity
>>84455467Almost to a tee. The masking part also involves concern over my reputation. I am afraid of being a lifelong bachelor because I fear being seen as gay/a pedophile and being treated as such, yet I have little desire to actually be with a woman
>>84455473>The masking part also involves concern over my reputation. I am afraid of being a lifelong bachelor because I fear being seen as gay/a pedophile and being treated as such, yet I have little desire to actually be with a woman.Jesus, yeah I get that, too. I haven't really gotten anyone asking me "are you gay?" yet, but I'm mostly just choosing to be celibate until I one day encounter a woman who is truly special and I can be more open with than any other person in my life. But that's a big if. But yeah I worry that after death people will talk about me in the wrong way.
>>84455467no, we are not the same
>>84455467Avoidant personality disorder. What are you going to do with this information, anon?
>>84455688I figured it was that more likely than schizoid.
>>84455688not OP, but his description fits me to a T.What is there even to do? I hate psychs, don't wanna be doped up, and cant afford either if I wanted to.I'm just resigned that this is my lot in life.
>>84455467IMO schizoid is poorly represented as the "being alone disorder", it's more like being a philosophical zombie with no volition, the asocial aspect happens as a consequence of having no drive to do fuck all other than staring at walls all day.
