I need to ask: for the anons on here who did manage to overcome their years of self-hatred and anger, how did you do it? How did you finally learn to love yourself and not just resort to self-pity and fuelling your inner demons? It feels like I'll never truly be that way, or if I do it'll take years of work to get to that point. As it stands, I just want to make myself feel worse all the time. It's so easy to resort to self-hatred and self-pity. But there is a part of me that knows it's not going to do anything to make me feel better in the long run, and I need to learn to stop being filled with so much anger and hopelessness.
>>84486034carnivoremaxxing + taomaxxing + lifeplanmaxxing (to homesteadmaxx)
>>84486034Start by acknowledging your self hatred and pity and not judging it. The truth is that the world is stacked against you and its not fair, there's billions of people gaslighting you and extracting wealth from you. Psychologically, there has never been a worse time to be a vulnerable young man, or whatever else you had to endure. The slings of outrageous fortune. You know all this to be true.Let yourself be angry. Indulge your self pity, because if you don't; no one will. Nobody gives a shit about you, and that's just your reality. Feel the anger, feel the sadness and pity; feel it deeply. What matters is what comes after, try not to wallow in it but the first step is feeling it without judgment.
>>84486107You're telling him to remain on fire, to intentionally make it grow and continue to burn him alive, as a way to motivate him forward, but it's much better if he just puts the fire out and stops letting it burn him, no? Why hold onto these negative feelings at all? Brush them off and live without pain.
>>84486107>Feel the anger, feel the sadness and pity; feel it deeply. What matters is what comes after, try not to wallow in itThat's a good way to put it, because so far that is my problem. I do give into my hatred and my anger. I continually find I want to lash out at the world and the people around me, speak with a huge amount of venom and hurt people who I feel are everything wrong with the world, but I know so much of that hatred and anger comes from hating myself - hating my lack of control, hating that I have no tolerance, hating that I only ever see the worst in people. But I can't help but wallowing in it. It feels like the easy route to take, and I hate myself for that, too. But recently I've tried harder to not give into it. The problem is that I have continually worsening OCD, and despite advice from fellow OCDcels I can never learn to just let go. Acknowledge it but not scratch that itch. I've never been able to just get past that first hurdle. Sometimes it just feels easier to just be hopeless. I wish I could just inspire myself to want to get better for a period longer than, at most, a few days.
>is what you hate about yourself immutableIf you can, then you should changeI used to be depressed and a doomer because I would let my negative thoughts continue. Therapy is a meme for weak willed normies but cbt is something you can do on your own to overcome your negative thoughts. It's your life, take ownership.
>>84486382As mentioned previously, I have OCD. I'm also pretty autistic, on top of being depressed and having social anxiety, and all four of them feed off each other in the worst way possible. I described it recently to a friend that the masking I have to do as part of the OCD and ASD makes it feel like I have to put an insurmountable amount of effort into just functioning normally. The depression certainly doesn't help. But there was a time a few years ago where I got closure from a bad falling out and the depression and anxiety that came following, and for about a year or two I felt like I was doing well.CBT doesn't work because all it's going to do is make the obsessions more intense, but I can learn to not give in to the obsessive thoughts, as others with OCD have.Beyond that, there isn't too much fucked up in my life that it's beyond repair. Therapy didn't work for me, like you said, but talking on here and talking to friends helps, and I think simply understanding how my mind works and wat my issues are rooted in is good for me.
>>84486034The more I learned about other people and the more I understood about why they believe in their opinions the less angry I felt toward everything. Life is really unfair and nasty, but once you're capable of stepping back and seeing the bigger picture of why everything is set up the way it is then it just starts making sense and you can actually appreciate that with the things you learn in life you can put together the puzzle pieces in order to figure out how to make it all better.Don't crash out because you don't immediately get something, if you don't understand then just put yourself on a lower difficulty then raise it back up once you start getting used to things. It's a slow process, but you'll get there eventually.
>>84486034It's hard to answer your question without hearing you say you hate about yourself, but I can give you some vague advice, and mostly on the OCD stuff.I had chronic OCD and anger issues and am now working full time and at peace with people disrespecting me. You're right to feel that CBT makes your OCD stronger, but that's only because you want to force recovery so badly. Fear behaviors do reinforce fear, but that's doesn't mean you can't do the work, it just means you have to desire it less intensely. I actually practiced REBT and not CBT because it's more outlined, has a lot more basis in the science of the mind, and is what's necessary for harder cases of OCD.The basis of it is that way we feel about things is influenced by our beliefs and our behaviors. For example,> I can never learn to just let go. Acknowledge it but not scratch that itch. I've never been able to just get past that first hurdle.This feeling stems from underlying beliefs such as "I can't handle having an itch", "I hate having an itch", "I can't enjoy myself until I scratch that itch", etc.. The behavioral aspect is that our minds in response to things force emotions with which we've reacted in the past. Studies show that those who release their anger end up more likely to respond with anger in the future.These two things are the reason two different people can react to the same thing in completely different ways. Changing your beliefs to "it's not the worst thing ever" and abstaining from harmful behaviors will overtime rewire your brain into being normal. It's not an overnight process. It's difficult and there are ups and downs, but this is how it goes and any other approach is borderline pseudo-science.I'd say more but it's kind of a lot written already and I'm not very good at informative writing. If you go ahead with recovery watch @OCDRecovery on YouTube. Specifically Nick and you don't have to pay for a seminar just watch his older videos(max char.)
>>84486775Thank you, I'll take this advice on board.
