I am being traumadumped by girl diagnosed with bpd. The thing is... so far I have neither heard from her nor seen in her any symptoms? She seems like a reasonable, introspective person that's just cursed with a horrible violent family. She's a very good friend,a good person basically, just unfortunate. I am unfortunate and depressed myself so I don't mind listening to her traumas and problems. My question is.... 1- how do I get to know the dark side of her, how do I get her to talk about her own vices2- how do I check whether the stories she tells me about her family are true?
>so far I have neither heard from her nor seen in her any symptoms?yeah thats like all of them. they all seem decently put together at first glance, such that you let it fade into the background, and then eventually it sneaks up on you and youre already too deep
>>84512501>seems like a reasonable, introspective person that's just cursed with a horrible violent familywhat do you think bpd is, retard?
>>84512514That's why I am asking how I get to know that other side of her! If she even has it. I doubt it.She's in a long-term relationship so I just want to befriend her since we vibe really wellI don't think I am becoming her fp or whatever.>>84512519people on r9k claim bpdemons have no self-reflection and act on their whims rather than reason.
>>84512530>people on r9k claimyeah, people on r9k do that a lotbpdemons are very "introspective" because that's how they justify their behavior, what you see as deep and thoughtful is merely a glimpse at their mental gymnasticsalso stop taking advice from r9k retard
>>84512546What behaviour is she justyfing though? She isn't doing anything evil. She's just unfortunatr and working through her trauma.
>>84512552you'll figure it out sooner or later
accidentally she's also 10/10, she has a stunningly beautiful face
>>84512501after 3 months you'll be like the rest of us anon, for your first question well for me personally they'd likely get attached after a while especially if they're trauma dumping and end up becoming quick to anger, blame you for everything or they ghost you and then cut you off whether they found someone else to entertain them or they got bored of you starting or ending at the 3 month period
>>84512501they all seem normal at first. once the trauma dump and love bombing phases are over she will start demonizing you and making your life a living hell over the smallest real or imagined slights against her. God forbid you legitimately fuck her over you will be in for a very bad time. Or if you're absolutely perfect she will simply cheat on you for the next shiny new toy giving her attention or just push you away and become cold and resentful for absolutely no reason besides the fact BPDs are incapable of being truly intimate with anyone over a long period of time. >t. BPDemon
>>84512734>just push you away and become cold and resentful for absolutely no reasonThis happened to me and it broke my heart into a million pieces. It really messed with my head and I came dangerously close to killing myself and losing my job.
>>84512786>can't get abandoned if I abandon them first!this is literally how BPDs think, its inevitable and unavoidable. Burning bridges is our ultimate defense mechanism and cope, and at the same time is the reason we are destined to be miserable. You didn't do anything wrong anon.
>>84512734You're retarded and you don't have bpd
>>84512727I can sense she feels intense emotions but manages to hide them to be able to function. I am the same way so I appreciate that. Neither of us chooses their emotions, we only choose what we act on!>>84512734You're just an evil person.
>>84512871and then they will get jealous and lash out because you decided to not text them immediately or do something not to their complete convenience, and the emotions fill out and spill out after they've rapidly been built up over a period of a week, you can choose to continue and maybe try and work something like many of us have attempted but do be prepared for the worse dear anon
>>84512501What happens when a bpd foid and a bpd moid get together?
>>84512956the bpd foid always wins out as her technique is more refined from experience
>>84512956both freak out and leavepeople with bpd are emotionally fragile and have a quick temper so they need someone who is very stable, understanding, forgiving and reliable. (a punching bag basically)
>>84512995>always wins outwins what?
>>84513025the winning lottery numbers, for the grand prize of not getting hurt whilst the other spirals
i honestly just want him to be happy.
she will betray you in the worse way possible after she gets you emotionally invested BPDemons aren't people. they're loosh farm algorithms
>>84513089but isn't 4 what every ex is anyway (fuck buddy 4 lyfe)?
>>84513104you won't be fucking her retardedshe'll string you along to keep you in orbitgiving you flashes of the perfect girl you once knew but never actually existed
>>84512501in the past you would just date someone irl and usually all that shit would come to surface by just interacting with her. you find out she was either an attention seeking clowns and just said whatever she wanted herself to be or she trash something important to you with a follow up apology with sex. BPD do not do that cycle. They just yo-yo between highs and lows, they don't have the head space to love bomb/devalue/discard/hover. They are more like apathy/love bomb/burn it all to the ground/more love bombing/apathy/panic attack/suicide or rather it's always a trigger hair based on your actions, a Narcissistic disorder is all about control what what people see/believe and nothing else, Borderline Personality disorder is living without any sense of self.
>>84513116some of this was meant for >>84513089>>84513104only the ones that couldn't make the new option work and if you seem to still have your shit together.
>>84513115>you won't be fucking her retardedgood : )only her friends deserve this dick : ) : )
>>84513126to be hunest your 4 stage model looks like every make up to break up ever only "bpd" is just more emotionally extreme and there really is no great difference between normal and "bpd" other than the level of intensity.yes there are crimes of passion but passion itself is not a crime!
>>84513116they dothey follow the same cycle to chase the emotional high as opposed to ego validation
>>84513089a girl got to phase 3 with me while claiming that she loves me, and already knowing not to listen to what women say, naturally i told her it's best we both move on. she talked shit about me to every mutual friend almost instantly. this is the post that finally convinced me to not mess with this sort of relationship again. it was horrible for a very long time....who am i kidding, i think i'm talking to one right now. i'm not going to stop, i NEED to understand how they do it. i think this one is going back over every conversation we've had, and not-so-subtly (compared to the previous one) trying various ideas to see which ones catch my attention. it's almost scientific. i need to learn that too.
Guys you are missing the point. I am telling you, she is not like that, she acts like a very cool and thoughtful person. You saying "nooo she's secretly a demon just trust me bro" is pointless. Answer my questions!
>>84512871>white knighting for some BPDemon whoreoh, sweet summer anon. Do give us an update in a few months, please.
I would kill for a BPDemon to destroy my lifeinstead I remain invisible to all women
>>84513351thisit would make me so happy to have one
My cousin is like that. Comes from the absolute fucking worst circumstances. Her parents are both druggies, she got raped by her teacher and went through a lawsuit, but she is a beautiful kind and hardworking person. Some people are dealt a shit hand but still come out the other side ok. Sounds like you like her a lot, don't go looking for trouble just enjoy getting to know her
>>84513383>"raped" by her teacherFTFY. Unless she got drugged, tied down or held at gunpoint it was completely consensual.
>>84512956BPD men usually get thrown in prison for acting like that. >>84513219Well yeah, they're vivacious and cool when they're having their upswings. Just wait a few months for the fun to begin.
>>84513219>You saying "nooo she's secretly a demon just trust me bro" is pointless.None of my friends could believe I have a personality disorder because it only comes out hard in relationships
>>84513351Be careful what you wish for, anon. And if you're involved in any kind of niche music scene or geeky male-dominated hobby you'll probably eventually encounter one.
>>84512956>What happens when a bpd foid and a bpd moid get together?I tried this one. I left her after a few dates for being a clingy, lazy mess. My BPD is more functional and my issues are social aggression, avoidance, and extreme mood swings. She was the "quiet BPD" type
>>84514546>And if you're involved in any kind of niche music scene or geeky male-dominated hobby you'll probably eventually encounter one.uh oh...
>>84512501>how do I get to know the dark side of herYou don't. If she is that rational and calm she either has worked on herself a lot or has the quiet subtype. Unless you're her boyfriend or best friend of 3 years minimum you'll never see her act like that. BPD works on attachment and fear of abandonment, so unless you start psycho psy-opping her she will not lash out on you. >how do I check whether the stories she tells me about her family are true?Why would she lie?
>>84514513she already dyed her hair once since we met and loves tattoos and piercings and wants to move to another country -,->>84514536You are simply an evil person who abuses trust and dependence. >>84514618Interesting! She has done lots of therapy. So, as I suspected, she's mostly 'healed'. But she can't rewrite the past or cut off her horrible family so I keep hearing about that. >Why would she lie?I guess I find her stories one-sided? But her stories of abuse are very specific so I trust they are real. She probably just doesn't tell me the times she did bad things.
>>84512530>She's in a long-term relationship so I just want to befriend her since we vibe really wellShould have lead with this. Yeah guess what, we dont trauma dump on strangers or friends. Thats the sort of thing we reserve for our spouse or our therapist. People who share personal stuff like that are being manipulative. You dont need to know that stuff. You dont need to pity them. Trauma dumping isnt the way to build friendships. Its something emotionally immature people do so they can outsource their feelings to others.
>>84514668>I guess I find her stories one-sided?You think she did something to warrant her abuse? Well, sure she probably isn't flawless but I do believe you can be the sole victim of an abusive household due to the power imbalance between child and parent. Evil parents exist, they are the reason she probably has BPD in the first place.
>>84514696Oh, I do not doubt that she is a victim. I hope she can become independent of them and minimize interactions with her horrible family. I just feel like she's demonizing them
