Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportdoing things on computer edition hey>How are you doing today?>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
links:> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7>a first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic> bpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read> bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c>a bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdfPlease don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them
>>84515414heya cat, how's your day going?>doing things on computer editionwhatcha doing? and Hooni hacking??>>84510691>going out and people care and feel sorry for mei felt this way in the past, but the harsh reality is it doesn't happen like that and telling yourself you can't expectanything like this from anyone is important>try to eat very 'unhealthy' calorie dense foods because im not eating otherwise honestly, where you are now, I'd say that's better than the alternative. Few foods are entirely unhealthy and getting any calories is better than starving(think to the middle ages where people lived off alcohol basically)>want to talk about it?My life is mostly stable to the point i"m not losing sleep over it or in need of much help. But in short, that agewas around when my family became extremely abusive and my isolation from other kids became severe due to family wantingcomplete control over my life for the worst. I was alone but also very afraid everywhere over this, but that's years ago now> trauma-relatedpointing to what events caused what might be helpful then. Past that, it's hard but you have to realize family problems especiallyaren't a fault of yourself, but a failure of the people who were supposed to be raising you> i think i am afraid ill miss themyou don't have to cut them off or burn things completely, but I think it's important to also realize and accept how they acted was badwithout pretending they deserve better
>>84510783>white/brown noise do anything for you?no, i need eerie silence to sleep>I have been genuinely shocked when they try to cuck each other during confessions.fun times. That's a big chunk to is villagers in animal crossing basically have no relationships amongst each other. They're essentially just a coat of paint with nothing interesting going on underneath mechanic wise> I always need a few days to recover after that sort of thing.I slept like shit 2 days in a row before, then slept like shit night of concert after so was a rough few days>>84510848>if you exlcude what i said in that thread im alr,glad to hear you pushed off doing that, but still sorry you're struggling with all thisAny idea why you've been feeling this way? I'd hold onto the motivation of not wanting to worry your gf since I think. that kind of mindset can help you a lot get through these things, but also should try to figure the cause of all this>wbu wassupdon't know last time I talked to you, but a lot going on. Have a new job, I own a dog now (for a while now but can't remember last time you were here), and been going out to do stuff like anime cons and the like
>>84515414>heyhey cat hru today?>>84515414>worked out well in the end I'd sayyeah>to see Hatsune Mikulmao i like how you phrased itanyways how did you find her?also how are you?>>84510783>that I've not had a breakdown in a few monthsi get your point disanon, but it's kinda difficult to mecuz like im unable to feel pride in it, infact i would feel more pride if i did it and that's so bad honestly
>>84515542hey making a map where you get boxes, pack them and send them I wanna add some gameplay to my maps>>84515738heyoI'm well ^^ workin on a mapwbu? what did you wanna talk about yesterday??
>>84515738>lmao i like how you phrased itfor reference there's a vocaloid concert called miku expohttps://mikuexpo.com/so that's what I was talking about>also how are you?I'm okay. Got a bit more sleep than I had past few nights so feeling a bit better. how are you?>>84515758>hey making a map where you get boxes, pack them and send themmaking a post office simulator it seems>I wanna add some gameplay to my mapsthat's a nice touch and makes it more interesting than just the scenery. how's it going anyway?
>>84515758>I'm wellglad to hear that!>a mapwhats the theme this time??>wbu?nothing much today i studied and read some pages of a novel called "all the bright places" and im still at the beginning but i already spotted bad points, ngl there are good things too but the bad things piss me off>what did you wanna talk about yesterday?okaaay so i remember you played silent hill, which one did u play?
>>84515414>How are you doing today?exhausted>Any plans for today?just getting ready for graduation.>When was the last time you hurt yourself?not last night. I guess i avoided it.>Is there anything bothering you right now?The fact I didn't stand up for myself when quitting. The fact that idk what i'm doing next.>good newsI've been on another anime and tv binge. Witch hat Atelier has been nice.>>84510783>I know it can seem very hopeless when your life is in stasis but things can change unexpectedly and that's something you have to always keep in mind otherwise you might check out before it happens.I guess, I just fell like I'm always failing.>>84510545>You deserve better than shit it sounds like you had to put up with, so good riddance,idk anymore. maybe.
>>84515877>so that's what I was talking aboutstill i find the phrase funny>I'm okayglad to hear that!>Got a bit more sleep than I had past few nights so feeling a bit betterhm did u take a break or did u just manage to find time to sleep?>how are you?im aight. no sleeping problems lately though i had a strange dream but i like it. i also read the beginning of the novel all the bright places, been months since i read a novel through a physical copy of an actual novel
>>84515887> I guess i avoided it.glad to hear>I've been on another anime and tv binge. i need to get another series. Watching re:zero season 4 ongoing, but only gives me something once a week>idk anymore. maybe.in all honesty, things are bad for a lot of people and many are putting up with shit out of necessity of how bad things are. Doesn't mean they and you don't deserve better. Just bad times>>84515928>still i find the phrase funnyin all honesty, I was more excited when I got to see Luka> u just manage to find time to sleep?I had some trouble falling asleep previous nights. Last night was relaxed enough to sleep finally, and that's why things were better and I feel good now> i had a strange dream but i like it.what about?>months since i read a novel through a physical copy of an actual novelnice. I do like physical books more than reading off a screen. Been a long time since I read anything other than manga. Should get back to that still have some books I meant to go to. Just all quite a lot of work.
>>84515877>making a post office simulator it seemsnot exactly but ig sorta I'll have to think about what sort of look do I want it to have and what else to add>than just the sceneryyep>how's it going anyway?overall I'm alright I also went to the garage to adjust some wheels all good now ^^ >>84515886>whats the theme this time??boxes!you just get boxes and tape then and send them simple >there are good things too but the bad things piss me offhm maybe you should switch to something else?>played silent hill, which one did u play?cool :DI played 2 and 3 wbu? how did you like it?>>84515887hello hope you manage to get some rest whens the graduation?>guess i avoided it.phew>didn't stand up for myself when quittingyou still quit right?>Witch hat Atelier has been nice.glad you have something you enjoy to watch
>>84516023>Lukahonestly that's the first time i see this girlnever been a big fan of vocaloid(i know teto is from another app but i have a plushie of teto on my computer case. bought it last year)>trouble falling asleep previous nighthmm do you know why? was there something causing this?>what about?not really clear i just went near a school building at night for some reason and found a classmate and we strangely were good friends we aren't like that irl i even remember feeling strange during the dream, later some other strange things happened, idk i cant understand it.>more than reading off a screendude my head hurts currently and thinking about reading off a screen makes my head hurt more>mangakinda the same headache>Just all quite a lot of work.have u ever thought like "im gonna do all the fun i want to do when im done with work" and then when u find free time u just do nothing?
>>84516117 #>boxes and tape and send themwaaait is it like a whole mod not just a map?>to something elsenah im okay :>>2 and 3how did u manage to play 3? did u focus only on the gameplay?cuz its directly related to the first one's lore which honestly i find kinda trash i didnt like the lore, unlike 2's :/like i was expecting some relatable kind of lore not some demonic shit cult things or whateveralso i was walking somewhere like 4 weeks ago and found this med bottle (picrel) and it reminded of silent hill's health drinks lolanother thing, i realised how deep cry of fear was inspired by silent hill, like i knew this fact before but i didnt know it was THAT influenced
>>84516117>not exactly but ig sortaTemu warehouse simulator>I'll have to think about what sort of look do I want it to havehave the freedom after all>I also went to the garage to adjust some wheelsnice. I didn't go out much today except to walk the dog around a little>>84516123>honestly that's the first time i see this girlshe is one of the main Crypton vocaloids, but in terms of fans probably won't know unless you are a vocaloid fan. But most people only know Miku by that standard>i know teto who a lot of people know especially lately which is interesting for sure. I like her too, but unfortunately limited official merch compared to anything Crypton does> do you know why?probably in part stress. I know I don't show much in the thread, but i have a history with anxiety and think i was winking my trip a little bit too much causing me a little stress leading up to it but all good in the end>idk i cant understand it.all good. Dreams don't usually have much deeper meaning, but could just be a desire to more friendly with people>thinking about reading off a screen makes my head hurt morei'm not a huge fan and often makes me focus much less on what i read>and then when u find free time u just do nothing?been like that in the past, but say I make much better use of my time (save for hours of gacha games but i can multitask). With books my issue is I enjoy reading more mentally difficult books that you need to take and think on, which is hard when draining my brain all day already
>>84516117>whens the graduation?this weekend>you still quit right?yeah I just wish I yelled everything back at the guy.>>84516023>Watching re:zero season 4 ongoingi don't remember where I left off. I remember watching part of season 2 but I'm confused by how it's listed on crunchyroll.>Doesn't mean they and you don't deserve better. Just bad timesI really hope it gets better soon.
>>84516280>like a whole mod not just a map?it's just a map, like just one file but a map with some gameplay in it :3>nah im okay :>oky>did u focus only on the gameplay?nope I focused on the story too>directly related to the first one's loreI just figured lots of the stuff of there>didnt like the lore, unlike 2's :/I agree cults and like magic was strange to meI much prefer the ambiguous surreality in the 2nd one, where you're not sure if stuff's real or maybe hallucinations >walking somewherelike an abandoned building?>and it reminded of silent hill's health drinks lolyea it sorta looks like it ^^ >realised how deep cry of fearI had the same thoughts!!I think some things are straight pulled from SH which makes sense and also shows how big that game was I remember playing a couple of SH inspire hl maps, people really wanted to emulate that style>>84516293>Temu warehouse simulatorhehe ^^I actually want it to be oppressive, demand too much and the conclusion to be you burning the whole place downSo ig I want it to have sort of a story >except to walk the dog around a littlethat's nice ^^is the dawg ok? was the weather nice?Here it's rained a bit and was overall gloomy
>>84516370>this weekenddo you think you'll graduate?>yelled everything back at the guyI think he deserves something more significant, but anyways, I don't think it would make a difference if you're in that position you gotta be someone who doesn't care about others being mad at you, in one ear and out the otherdon't let that frustration out on yourself fren
>>84516293>unless you are a vocaloid fanyup that's pretty much it, im not a fan>only know Mikumiku is so iconic>especially latelybtw why did she become more famous lately? did it start when they made her a new outfit or something?>history with anxietyoh, sorry manare you better these days? like despite the last days when you couldn't sleep well?>a little bit too muchdidn't quite understand, what did you overdo?>makes me focus much lesshappens to me too sometimes, its so annoying>gacha gamesaren't these games harmful somehow? like ofc they are for addicts but normally do players suffer from it?personally i think i never played gacha games (unless if i played one without knowing the genre in the past) and i mostly avoid them especially the new trending games>mentally difficult books>hard when draining my brain all day alreadytrue thinking a lot about these is truly tiringespecially if you have some problems with the attention spanbtw did you read crime and punishment?>>84516390>file but a map with some gameplayohh is it half life 2?>figured lots of the stuff i see>surreality in the 2nd one, where you're not sure if stuff's real or maybe hallucinations yup and i think it's fun to relate to something in a game, but who would relate to the first and the third's lore? i didnt expect it to be like that, i thought it was pretty much like the second>an abandoned buildingidk if it's considered abandoned, it's on a street and it's not so big>sorts looks like ityup :]>some things are straight pulled from SHexactly! there was this part in cry of fear where simon runs in a long hall and there were hands under the ground damaging him, that looked exactly like some part in SH2 and a lot of other things and places and ideas too were either directly pulled from SH or just inspired by it somehow>SH inspire hl mapshl engine is something else man ~_~i feel like these 2 fandoms are related somehow>people really wanted to emulate that styleyep
>>84516568>ohh is it half life 2?yep it'll be a map for hl2 :3>but who would relate to the first and the third's lore?probably not many people but I don't think it was the goal>it's on a street and it's not so bigoh I see >there was this part in cry of fear where simon runs in a long hallyep yepand white silent hills have you played? have you seen the movie?>engine is something else man ~_~yep hl1 is my favorite gameI just see the lighting and textures and sound and I feel at home
>>84516370>watching part of season 2season 2 was where I feel like a lot of people dropped it. Re:Zero season 1 was very popular and a lot of people didn't like the pacing after while at the same time it seems like a lot of fans of the novels like that season most for reasons the anime original fans didn't like it. Interesting how these work sometimes>confused by how it's listed on crunchyroll.re:zero is one series that is at least pretty consistent with how I see it listed (seasons rather than arc names like some do)>I really hope it gets better soon.I do too. This isn't at all sustainable having everyone struggling to find work so long>>84516390>I actually want it to be oppressive, demand too much and the conclusion to be you burning the whole place downso escape the Temu warehouse>is the dawg ok?good and healthy, but getting more and more demanding>was the weather nice?a little cooler than earlier in the week, but not bad>Here it's rained a bit and was overall gloomyhope you have nice days ahead
>>84516568>miku is so iconicI mean, she's been around since I was in middle school and still popular which is kinda crazy to see>btw why did she become more famous lately? Song with her and Miku called Mesmerizer getting popular, which spawned off more songs with them getting popular etc>are you better these days?for the most part, infinitely better. Have things that flare up like this type of behavior, but i';m better off than as a kid>what did you overdo?i might to type "winging" basically I didn't really think some plans through, realized this was a mistake last minute, then got nervous about whether things would be a shit show (they were lol)> ofc they are for addicts but normally do players suffer from it?it depends on how impressionable people are certain ways. Gacha make money off people who want to win, but also people who become obsessive with getting their waifu and such. Something I definitely do not fall for! Or maybe a little. I do spend some money on gacha before, but I control myself>without knowing the genre in the pastit's less a genre more a mechanic within the game that is the source of the revenue for that game. They can cover many genres, but if you can pay for a chance to unlock characters, it's gacha>btw did you read crime and punishment?no, my thing with reading even fiction is I want to have a frame of context for the era and environment for which works are written, and I try to understand philosophy and history at time leading up to get that. Dostoevsky is an author i want to read, but know there's philosophical and historical framing around his works that make just picking up and reading a mistake in the sense you don't get the same value out of it
