I envy some of you anond who are able to be on your ownBeing unlikable and yearning social connection at the same time is a death sentence
I am just human I went through a lot before reaching my final form. People believe in inherit traits too much, it's like a modern spook.
>>84541049>Being unlikablei wouldn't go that far lol even if you think otherwisedid you end up taking your meds?
>>84541049>making this a while back in case you posted again>realized it looks like there was sex involved>shiti hope you're doing okay OP
>>84541133noi am done with meds>>84541628i ate some food today so i'm not feeling as bad i suppose
>>84541979>i am done with medswere they not helping anymore? isn't it worse if you don't take any?
>>84541979>i am done with meds>were they not helping anymore?anon did explain in another thread that it wasn't helping anymore, so he stopped taking themi think as another anon said it's fine as long as he doesn't alternate and sticks to it>image related>i'm not feeling as bad i supposethat's goodwhat games do you play, anon? what's up with that friend you talked about before who takes away from your energy?
>>84542073they never didi only feel dizzy drowsy and sometimes have hallucinations at night>>84542147>what games do you play, anon?mostly map games but recently i haven't been playing much because games are not fun for me anymore>what's up with that friend you talked about before who takes away from your energy?just another person who grew to hate me
>>84542676"map" games huh? what do you like about those games exactly?
sad to see how you ended up guya
>>84542676>games are not fun for me anymorehard relatable, i can relate to thathonestly it's kind of annoying too, i'd like to be doing something in my free time but whenever i think of doing something like playing a game it just feels kind of worthlessi think something i can do to combat that feeling is to find games that are a bit more unique so i can have at least some escapism if i have a low mood>just another person who grew to hate medo you know they hate you for certain?how do you know you're just not stuck in your head and there's no real evidence?seeing some signs is important thoughif you're sure they hate you, then i'm not sure how much of a friend that is
>>84542676>i only feel dizzy drowsy and sometimes have hallucinations at nightwith or without the meds? how long has it been like that?i wish you would take them (responsibly!) but if you say they aren't working then idk. you should really bring it up to your doctor if they aren't doing the job for you anymore. i know all you feel right now is doom and gloom but i feel worried about you and im sure im not the only one, please go easy on yourself i don't know the magic words. i don't know how to make it all better. i wish i did and im sorry
>>84542692idk, autism?>>84542722at least you can enjoy something>do you know they hate you for certain?because of the way they treat me>if you're sure they hate you, then i'm not sure how much of a friend that iscutting them off will make me feel worse>>84543498without. happened like one night. I heard baby noises and saw some weird figures>i wish you would take them (responsibly!) but if you say they aren't working then idk. you should really bring it up to your doctor if they aren't doing the job for you anymore. i know all you feel right now is doom and gloom but i feel worried about you and im sure im not the only one, please go easy on yourselfi'll probably stop visitng my shrink, as there really is no point
>>84544052>without. happened like one night. I heard baby noises and saw some weird figuresokay, then clearly your meds are doing something. your symptoms may get worse and you'll just feel even more miserable >i'll probably stop visitng my shrinki insist that you reconsider
>>84544052>idk, autism?oh, you're autistic?well, maybe my suggestions really will help you out a little here then>at least you can enjoy somethingyou don't get what i mean by "unique" thoughtry this websitehttps://vgperson.com/games/by "unique" i mean less effort you have to put into the game, made by generally independent people and free gamesif you have less effort you have to put in, but you still feel immersed and there's still some level of problem solving with puzzles that you can also cheat through at any point using a walkthrough then i think it will at least entertain you for a whilea lot of these are rpg maker games, and they're immersive with pretty decent storiesyou could play through one of them and get hooked even if you underestimate it at firstthey have that sort of charm to themif you've played through a lot of rpg maker games in the past, you could probably still find ones you haven't played hereif you immerse yourself for a bit it might help with the symptoms of autism as well>cutting them off will only make me feel worsethat's fair enough>i'll probably stop visiting my shrinki don't think you should, you should talk to your doctor about this because it seems like there's elements that you're not admitting that your doctor would know more abouti get not having much faith in your doctor after it doesn't feel like it works for so long, but the hallucinations seem like a pretty bad sign that things are going southyour doctor could probably figure something out, and if he can't then you could still get a new doctor if you don't like your current one>because of the way they treat mewhat way do they treat you, anon?
>>84544129it was all a waste of time. I will never be normal>>84544148>oh, you're autistic?either that or bpd>i don't think you should, you should talk to your doctor about this because it seems like there's elements that you're not admitting that your doctor would know more aboutlast time i talked to him he offered me therapy>what way do they treat you, anon?make excuses when i ask to hang out or play somethingnever message mein general just apatheticthey haven't been this way before>if you immerse yourself for a bit it might help with the symptoms of autism as welli can get immersed
>>84541067YupI got beat up as a kid, so what?I'm almost 30 years old, I can't keep on thinking "owie mommy hit me :'(" all the fucking time
>>84544464>it was all a waste of time. i will never be normal>either that (autism) or bpd>last time i talked to him he offered me therapyhold on a momentthere's an issue here, thoughthere's a common misconception that you've fallen underto get properly diagnosed, you have to go to a psychiatrist who will scan you and check your brain to see if you're autistic or something elsea psychologist can also figure that outthose things are not the same thing as therapists, who talk to you about your problems instead of diagnosing you directlyif you go to a psychologist and try to get diagnosed with something, you could manage your symptoms better and get an official explanation on why you are struggling, and how you can cope betteryou shouldn't just give up because you might not be normal, anonyou should accept that fact and try to figure out how you are not normal and how you can cope with that>in general just apathetici'm not sure if he hates you as much as he just doesn't really like talking to youapathy is definitely a good descriptor>i can get immersedthat's good, what i suggested is more in the case of low energy gamingthe fact you can get immersed is a good sign here at leastyou should try it if you ever want something to play that's a bit different from the normi'd personally recommend the witch's house, but you can try any of them if you're too tired to play anything elsei'd like to add as well that autism can make you have a harder time socializing, so i would personally think it is autism if you have somethingyou don't seem borderline to me from what you've said so far, anonbut only a psychologist can truly figure that out, and i'm a stranger on the internet, so i wouldn't knowautism is significantly harder to cope with if you have parents who don't respect things like that however, i would like to mention thatthat would explain why you're so depressed as well
>>84541049I like that Parthunax quote>"Is it better to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"Read between the lines and you'll see it applies to everything in life
>>84541049I envy anyone who has dedication to spam same thread daily. Must be very autistic and one track minded like an ai programmed to think about only one problem without ever solving it.
>>84544464what does normal look like to you?maybe another shrink may be better?
>>84544578>to get properly diagnosed, you have to go to a psychiatrist who will scan you and check your brain to see if you're autistic or something elsei have been diagnosed. I just don't really relate to itanyway, i am done with psychiatric healthcare. It doesn't help at all.>i'm not sure if he hates you as much as he just doesn't really like talking to youstory of my fucking life. To think they once said that i was the friend of their dreams. What a joke. I really need to kill myself>>84545096someone who is liked maybe>maybe another shrink may be better?i proabbly wouldn't be able to get one without having to go to a different city for every visit. I wasted enough money on useless meds
>>84544592i can't really change my nature. Not that i haven't tried
>>84541049my friends all died tho
>>84545660>i have been diagnosedwith what?>i just don't really relate to iti would look up specific symptomsit's definitely weird if you don't relate to it, maybe you got misdiagnosed, i don't knowyou should definitely get that checked out>to think they once said that i was the friend of their dreamshonestly anon, you said something happened to make them more distant, right?you shouldn't hate yourself for thisthey could be busy, you can confront them about this directlybut don't do it while in a low mood, do it while you're calm or else it might end poorlysaying things like that is definitely something that can hurt someone a lot though>i am done with psychiatric healthcareget a new doctor if you feel like you're being scammed>go to a different city for every visit>wasted enough money on useless medsthe meds are not useless if you're hallucinating without them, anonthe health industry definitely asks for too much though i agree theregoing to a different city for the sake of your health is something you should discuss with your parents or someone else that you can trustyou mentioned your uncle, i think he might be willing to listen to you judging by what you said>i really need to kill myselfwill you turn your anger inwards and let the world consume you?it's a common misconception to think>something happened>every example of this happening in the future is going to be like thisthat tends to be the source of a lot of traumabut i think you know deep down that you're just withdrawing from depression, right?the more you withdraw, the more you'll get used to it, anondon't let it eat you alive or you'll lose sight of any optimism or actions you can get/take in this situationyou should get some fresh air if you're struggling in the momentyou aren't going to get over your problems yet, but i'm fine with listening, anon>i can't really change my natureyou don't have to, playing the blame game with yourself when you're not at sole fault is bad
>>84545834>with what?schizotypal>honestly anon, you said something happened to make them more distant, right?no. Nothing really happened. They just became distant>the meds are not useless if you're hallucinating without them, anonmaybe going completely nuts wouldn't be so bad>you don't have to, playing the blame game with yourself when you're not at sole fault is badwhose fault is it then? Everyone elses'? How would I even confront my friend?
>>84541049Like anything: as time goes by, it hurts less and less (it never stops hurting tho).If you are a lonely freak, just accept it and try to submerge yourself in the things you love (escapism is the bread and butter of life for people like us).
>>84546289>schizotypalyou say you don't relate to it, but you have symptoms with hallucinations when you stop taking your medsif it's a misdiagnosis, it would have to be related to it at least>they just became distant>whose fault is it then?it is your friend's fault for not being direct with you, and it is your fault for not being direct with your friendat the same time, that is neither you, nor your friend's fault depending on how things ended upif you want to confront your friend, you have to just ask him when you're ready>"can we talk?"and open up to him about how you've been feeling lately and how he's felt distantask him to tell him why he's distant and how you feel about him saying he cared so much and then becoming more distantagain don't do this while you're slowly going insane though, you need to get yourself in the right position mentally>maybe going completely nuts wouldn't be so badi don't know you, but people care about youi can telllurking a bit made me realize you might have some history herei really do think you should talk to your uncle as wellreach out to him, he would know better than i woulddon't rush through this, you have options from what you are sayingyou're not at rock bottom yet, anon
>>84541049>>84544464>>84546289ARE U GONNA BE THE NEW FISHPOSTERWONDERFUL SHIT
That's not really a thing, everyone is worse off being lonely, every human is a social being by nature
>>84545660>useless medshow are they useless if they helped with symptoms? please don't do this to yourself. i would like to remind you how worse off you were before your medication. you barely had any energy for anything and your life took a nosedive, one you regretted later. is that something you want to face again? i care about your well being and going into this direction will be abysmal for your health and likely will have future consequences. and i think deep down you know this, you have to know this. so please please please think long and hard about the decisions you're makingi suggested this before but ill suggest it again. talk to your friend and find out if anything is wrong. don't overthink it and brace for impact if you get an answer you might not like. but remember, it's not the end of the world>but what should i say?"ive noticed you've been distant lately and i wanted to know if everything is fine. i appreciate your friendship and if i upset you somehow or made things weird i would like to work through it. so if you're willing let's talk about it, but no pressure"say something along those lines. be direct and be honest but not pushy. you will be okay! im sure there's just some misunderstanding going on. don't give up even if you're hitting your head against a wall, it just means you have to try to find your way around. a task easier said than done but not impossible
>>84546542Fish poster is one of a kind
>I envy some of you anond who are able to be on your own>Being unlikable and yearning social connection at the same time is a death sentenceThat's the thing. I DO like being on my own, being a hermit.I don't give a shit about never seeing the last couple of friends I have.But I DO crave sex, and I have been incel for decades. That part of it is absolute hell.I want a fuck-buddy that I can plow regularly, and I don't care if she's old. Yet I am too incel to even get that.
>>84542676Why only at night and not the day? What else do you hallucinate? Ya think what you see and hear means anything
>>84546399It wasn't anything serious though. It could have been some weird sleep paralysis event>>84546399>and open up to him about how you've been feeling lately and how he's felt distant>ask him to tell him why he's distant and how you feel about him saying he cared so much and then becoming more distantI did something similar once and it did not end well>>84546684Why do people keep telling me to learn to enjoy my own company then?>>84547169I want to say that i miss them and that their distance is making me sad but they'll just be like "ugh you're overwhelming me with this" or that i am ruining their day by being pushy
>>84549095It only happened once. Now that i think about it it may have been a sleep paralysis eventI have been experiencing theese a lot more lately
hi anon, good to see you again>>84550308>Why do people keep telling me to learn to enjoy my own company then?i think there's a general sense of apathy to that combined with experienceobviously you feel this pain, but other people also went through this pain and are going through this painyou aren't alone in your loneliness and people deal with things like this differentlyyou obviously don't have the type of coping mechanisms that other people would have relating to thisthe pain doesn't go away, but people try their best to cope with ityou still have some hope though>It wasn't anything serious thoughi'd talk about that with your doctor, because>>84550317>I have been experiencing theese a lot more latelyif it's only since you stopped doing the medication, that's a sign there's an effecti'm not sure if it's withdrawal symptoms or something elseyour doctor or another doctor would know more about itit could get worse, anon, another poster talked about it possibly getting worse so i think you should listen to them if they know more about all of this>>84550308>they'll just be like "ugh you're overwhelming me with this" or that i am ruining their day by being pushythey are likely in a bad mood and you should ask them about their problems before talking about your ownit is unfortunately how some people work i thinkif you get someone like that to open up a little, you might be able to come to a compromise with themhold back a little but show care for your friend and try to talk about how you feel once you've heard them outmaybe ask something like>"are you doing alright? it's getting lonely without you and you seem distant, you seem like you're in a bad mood lately, i would be willing to listen"let it flow as naturally as you canthat would be my adviceit's not a confrontation, it's a discussionbe mature about it and try to get him to be mature about it as well>honk honklook both ways before you go, anon
>>84550996>they are likely in a bad mood and you should ask them about their problems before talking about your ownno they hate me. It's been like a month and a half already>you still have some hope thoughwhat makes you say that
>>84546542I wouldn't be surprised if this is the fishposter.In fact, I'd bet $100 it is.
>>84551994>no they hate mewell, anon, they keep you aroundthere's a subtle ghosting but they clearly don't want to be direct>I did something similar once and it did not end welli was thinking of replying to this before, so i will nowi've done similar things toothey never ended so well, because i wasn't considering the other person in the conversation and what i wantedyou know what you wanti think putting too much pressure on the other person is definitely a no-goyou've learned from that experience, so you should know what to say better than i could tell youi think what he's going through doesn't have to be related to youa month and a half of a bad mood sounds like he's holding something in that is eating at himhe might feel better around other people, but you can't know that he is completely done with you unless you askyou'll just sink into your own suffering if you don't do anything about your friendship feeling like it is in limboif you have tried to vent to him a lot maybe it would be better to do that over video games or some other activity so it isn't the sole focusthat can tend to eat at someone's energy and make them dislike you over timestill he did say he liked you in the past, it's strange for someone to be so distantmaybe he forgot about what he said>what makes you say thatyou can still turn your life aroundyou also have people who are clearly rooting for you to take it easy, which shows you have something there that people likei think this is just one of those unfortunate tight spots you can get in life where you have to move carefullyit's obviously stressful, but you can't just whine about everything without any hope for the future or ambition with the options you have anonyou have to get your ship in a position where it can sail againit might be sinking now, but you can lift yourselfi hope you've considered contacting your uncleif he's used to being alone, maybe he has good advice for you as well
back in january i cut off the only friend i have made because he betrayed me and was starting to treat me like shit.it was rough. i haven't been able to form any strong bond and at one point i felt like a failure, but let me tell you that you eventually stop caringi recommend you try and find the joys in being alone, as well as ignoring the normie bullshit that says that if you're friendless you're a loser
>>84552205i find no joy in being alone>>84552146>well, anon, they keep you aroundnot really>a month and a half of a bad mood sounds like he's holding something in that is eating at himi've seen themi've seen the way they act. There's nothing troubling them, they just don't like me. There are others in their life and they clearly care about them and they bother to talk to them, unlike me. I'm just a bother to them>if he's used to being alone, maybe he has good advice for you as wellit will be no different than asking a bunch of loners on 4chan the same thing. It won't worki am different, i can't deal with this by just pretending i enjoy being by myself
>>84552249>not really>i've seen the way they actyou have to discuss this with them eventually, anonif it basically feels like you have no friends at all, there is nothing to loseyou said you will save him for rock bottom, but i'm not sure how much time you have if you're leaving this for a month and a half, anonyou need to salvage things sooner than later, anon. i think he might notice how you've been becoming more depressed in some wayif you've done anything that hurt him while spiraling, you should apologize>it will be no different than asking a bunch of loners on 4chanunlike a bunch of random people on 4chan, your uncle is familyhe can visit you directly and talk, maybe in a cafe, a bar or at your housei get you're not so close with him, but that's why you can't just make a judgement on how it would turn outdon't treat a family member like a stranger>i can't deal with this by just pretending i enjoy being by myselfwith people that have stuck with you for a long time it is a lot harder to let goyou become used to these people, they become part of your life and something feels wrong without them therei'm sure you've had this feeling over many things, anonyou can't let it make you lose your grip. who you are as a person isn't worthless because you've lost something important in your lifeit will be painful, but you have to have the courage to go through with it using your experiencesyou have to set things up so that you won't suffer as much, coping mechanisms and things like calling your uncle to talk about it before doing anythingwithout action and without responsibility, you aren't dealing with this in a mature manneryou need to try and move forward despite your situation, because it's clearly eating at you. take your time with things
>>84541049uhh just pretend you're someone else and a few people will like you and you'll find friends
>>84552364>if you've done anything that hurt him while spiraling, you should apologizeI have asked if i wronged them before. They just said that everything is fine. But things are clearly different>with people that have stuck with you for a long time it is a lot harder to let gono one has stuck with me for longi am just a retard who gets attached quickly
>>84553170tried that alreadydid not work
