>decide to go camping because I need to lose weight>literally in the middle of the woods and someone is walking near my tentits fucking over dude, what the fuck? My back hurts, it's cold, and I might be murdered in a couple minutes.
Relax it's just a bear
>>84586504Send me your location so I can collect your bones once the murdering is done.
>>84586504>go camping because I need to lose weightThis makes no sense, you're retarded. And obviously this isn't one of those fasting retreats
>>84586504Maybe use your words to see what they're doing anon, like a normal person...
>>84586504if youre trying to lose weight you might want to lay off the fucking muffins
>light/flash onbad>opened food packagebad>probably making noise moving aroundbadare you chilling in a tent in your back yard like we all wanted to do when we were kids or what?say youre armed if you hear them within a few feet or smth
Fat ass is sitting in his tent eating little debbies to lose weight
>>84586504Kek don't die though op
this is why I don't do that white people shit, you're just asking to get murdered and never be found.
Why would you ever solo camp without a weapon
damn op about to get raped/killed/eaten by a skin walker, assuming he isnt just camping outside in his backyard
I hate you assholes. Trashing up beautiful accessible spots and then acting all offended when I want to chill there during my nightwalks. Can't take more than a dozen steps without tripping over some plastic tarp covered faggot.
>>84586504You still alive, OP?
>>84586504Guys I think OP might be dead.
op soon
>decide to go camping because I need to lose weightdumb people do the weirdest shit
>>84586504are you alive op?hope your camping trip went well!though next time you should bring a friend along
>>84586634>>84586875>t. bearI am dead. This shit has fucking killed me. My face hurts and I have tears in my eyes as I fall down on the floor laughing hysterically.
>>84586504>decide to go camping because I need to lose weight>takes bags of ultraprocessed sugarslop to snack on in the tent at nightcouple words of advicefirst off, check if you're in an area that allows camping. there's a lot of counties and municipalities that don't allow camping and that's mostly so they can legally move the homeless around. even if it seems like you might be "in the woods" you could just be in a woody section of a large municipal park or greenway and it's not exactly legal to camp overnight in such places. of course, that never stops people like steve wallis to do a little overnight expedition. in counties that do allow camping, check their rules in regards to dispersed camping, which is camping outside of designated campsite/campgrounds.second, especially if you're in bear territory, do not bring food into your tent. if you want to be lazy and you're at a campground, you can leave it locked in your car; just wash your dishes/utensils before putting them away. even if you can't leave it in your vehicle, best practice is actually to put it in a "bear bag" and hang that about 15ft up in a tree.third, fire safety matters. be careful with where you put your fires and understand that it heats into the ground you put it on, and you can start a fire that spreads underground via burning roots. it's a pretty underestimated issue in areas like dry pine forests. check if you're far enough away from the tree canopy that the rising heat and embers won't catch. dig into the ground and make sure it's completely soil or sand with no roots or other organic matter in the area you want to put your fire. be careful with the types of rocks you put around your fire, anything with relatively high moisture content like sedimentary type rocks and ones from riversides can crack, pop, or outright explode on you.
>>84586504quit eating and drinking garbage and go for a walk or a bike ride anon.
>>84586504>go camping because I need to lose weight>brought some kind of sugary drink and muffin bitesngmi
>>84586504Now you understand why women chose the bear.
