When I go out and try to actually make friends and be social it makes me feel extremely lonely and anxious and want to kill myself all the time.If I just ignore the social world stay home as much as possible and and watch stuff and read and play games and escape into fantasy worlds everything is fine.
>>84595428It may be that socialization just isn't for you right now. Or you haven't found the right people to connect with. This might sound trite, but if you think carefully, there might be some truth to it. If you're happy with your media, just be thankful you have something in life to occupy yourself with & continue enjoying it. You are your own person. You can do what you want.
It's going to be a lonely life, at least there's the internet.
>>84595428Going out to try to make friends sucks as an adult since my experience has been every meetup group has been women trying to make female friends and guys try to bag the women. Trying to just have friendly casual conversation with people sucks unless you're instantly best buddies ever, because I feel like a lot of people don't want to put work into making adult friendships they're not sure will last long anyway.
You just haven't met someone you gel with, and you can be surprised by who you click with. I had a two hour chat with my mom's friend with no pauses or awkwardness, we just chatted about her work, my work, and were both engaged.Problem is shit like that rarely happens.
>>84595428I still sort of have friends from middle school and high school, but I just don't enjoy spending time with them, it's the same with some family members. I'm just counting the minutes before I can go home and recover.However I still get lonely. I used to have a friend that I genuinely enjoyed spending time with, however they were a total bpd psycho and I had to cut it off. I still sometimes regret that decision, but it was probably for the best since if I would've waited longer it would've been more difficult to end it.my life's a mess.
>>84595428If escaping into fantasy worlds appeals you then you should try lucid dreaming. You must already be aware of it being a thing considering your image. I started keeping a dream diary back in december and it's at the very least an interesting thing to do. The problem is that sometimes I try to get way too descriptive and almost photographic with what I write and I end up needing over an hour to write everything down. My record so far is over 1000 words for the three dreams that I could remember from a single night.
