MARK IN TORQUAY, ENGLANDhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwCQayXFOOs
Oh aye I'm ready, garn out with Anonymous to theGaped Batty Club, I'm garn keep on gaping at theGaped Batty Club, I'm garn keep on gaping down inWunderland Town, I'm garn keep on gaping at theGaped Batty Club, Gaped Batty Clubhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR3Liudev18
Spreading Welpers blown out Bottom
damn, Devon looks like THAT???
>Be autist>Somehow get a gf>Start experimenting in the bedroom>Buying sex toys>Ask her what size>Replies with "doesn't matter as long as they're black"I bought what she asked for, but this reply really caught me off guard.
Brainstorming online money making ideas with chatGPT with the goal of low startup cost + realistic path to revenue
What's life like in Blackpool?
Lid, what have you done? You're a gaped batty boy, and you gape at the club
>>85306518Oh to the aye it's completely LUSH x
Iceland frozen xtra hot tikka for tea, it'll do, it'll do.
>>85306504He not with lovely Helen?
>>85306552Helen dumped Mark
Finished now, task completed. Oven heating up, choons still on, but chillan oot tae fook pal.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkwmp1PiNas
and its on for free, oh aye
Who is this guy spamming about gay bum sex all time? What the fuck is his problem? He has been at it for weeks if not months.
>>85306551Was always partial to their lasagna
mark should get with katie price, she doesn't mind the smell of shit!!!XD XD XD
>>85306552Helen ghosted him apparently. He go back to messaging 300+ women a day on PoF x
>>85306560I guess he likes it when people acknowledge his existence like we're doing now. We are the sole witnesses to his existence
MM WHATCHA SAY~
>>85306576He's delirious. Out of his mind. I assume he is a loner?
>>85306560Same guy who impersonates various personalities tooDread to think what his living conditions are like
Welp Welper the boy who Gaped
if i was king of italy i'd get a bridge to sciliy set up prontoi wunt muck about with it
>>85306567i want you to do something for me:give it a week, then rewrite + repost this as a confident, earnest joke.
>>85306588I think he's retired, living in a penthouse with a wife, kids and a dog.
Can't believe.... Hugh Laurie... IS A GLIMMER?!
>>85306597>I think he's retired, living in a penthouse with a wife, kids and a dog.I don't think this is accurate at all.
>>85306593tell me what to again and we'll be having problems, lad
Smelly Prolapsed Gapes
>>85306602Any proof otherwise?
>>85306616It's based on probabilities alone
>>85306600he's a bit of a crazy one, that Glinner. not rite what's happened to him.probs more to do with Twitter addiction than the actual beliefs (you could have the most noble cause ever, but imagine making 0 progress AND it wrecking your life)
>>85306616>Any proof otherwise?No, lad.
>there are grown adults out there who are not going to be voting reform in the next GElol
>>85306620That is fair enough then lad.
>>85306639>believing any of reform's promisesbut they'll be different, right?
>>85306639restore does everything reform does betterniggerelf will lose his deposit to a bin
>>85306504Shout out Mark and the whole seaside army Every day above ground a great day 4x lush
Shippys Chode being used as a battering against Welpers Bottom
i feel extremely depressed
the only people i know who support reform are dumb deanos
>>85306651Here lad, I drew this to make it really simple for you.Voting for Reform is the only way anything gets fixed. No votes for Reform mean the right hand column options are the only ones on the table.>>85306652Restore isn't polling anywhere near high enough to contest the GE. Think rationally. You might think some tiny party with six people meeting in a pub once a month has the exact perfect set of policies, but they'll never win an election. Tactical voting is a necessity.
Garn belt this classic out for all my Battymen xWho can make a man rise?(Who can make a man rise?)Jerk it till it spews?(Jerk it till it spews)Slam his bottom down until it's filled with salty gooThe Batty Man (the Batty Man)Oh, the Batty Man can (the Batty man can)The Batty Man can 'cause he spreads his arse for menAnd takes the black mans wood(Takes the black mans wood)Who can take his arsehole?(Who can take his arsehole?)Pounded by the guys(Pounded by the guys)Filled it full of cum and make a sloppy batty pieThe Batty Man (the Batty Man)Oh, the Batty Man can (the Batty man can)The Batty Man can 'cause he spreads his arse for menAnd takes the black mans wood(Takes the black mans wood)The Batty Man's gaped, very often rapedThose Bantus can get quite vicious!Now, he talks about his sexual wishesMohammedan bumhole kisses!Oh, who's prolapsed his bumhole?(who's prolapsed his bumhole?)Teared it at the seams(Teared is at the seams)Separate the nappy and collect up all the creamhttps://youtu.be/fq7WX5oINAQ
It's been a while, wonder what his son's up to. Hope he's using him for content now the FM channels died.
I will be voting green lads x
>>85306669I can name every vtuber in that video. I'm too far gone.
Bloody ell lads I've only gone and missed that solar eclipse! I'll have to wait another 30 years to see it again! FUMING!
>>85306707Perfect choon for a lil bumsesh that x
Total eclipse of Welper's arse.
You're giving me ideas with that one
If you shop at iceland and see this, grab some, it's quite nice. Had the same thing last night, but it's going with hashbrowns and a fried egg.
GaperLad UK Gapeman
>>85306705okay lad, your move.
Cummies cummies cummiesIn my tummyIn the Wantus World
>bodger the badgerstill laughing at that
>>85306769If I find myself shopping at Iceland I think keeping an eye out for the 'Sticky Shredded Chicken Chinese' will be one of the last things on my mind. In front of it will be things like>Did I suddenly lose 20k off my salary?>Be careful not to step on any smack needles when I leave very promptly>Do not breathe in the air, the people here are subhumans and I don't want their filth inside my lungs
Welper bodgered by a Bantu todger.
>>85306797Don't know why people look down on Iceland, they do a lot of decent stuff. Is it just cause it's mostly frozen?
>>85306797>I think keeping an eye out for the 'Sticky Shredded Chicken Chinese' will be one of the last things on my mind.Ah you heard about the sticky rib lasagne? Just think of sticky things and you should end up with both things.
>>85306818It's straight up the most gutter-oil tier bottom-of-the-barrel food you can imagine lad. It's barely above dog food in terms of quality.
>>85306832Honestly you're exaggerating. No less slop than what the other supermarkets sell. They sell plenty of healthy things and they're really good for frozen fish.
>>85306784I firmly believe farage will resign or not be eligible to run before 2029 and once that happens reform will fade away into obscurity and back to 2 party politics ruling over the UK like it has been for centuries. There's nothing new under the sun and the old guard won't let that change anytime soon
YOU go to Iceland.I go to Farmfoods.We are NOT the same.
>>85306853I always thought farmfoods was worse than Iceland
do people really 'shop' at Iceland?i just walk out whenever the security guy is busy tbqh.
Meeting a friend for a coffee tomorrow. Aren't I normal?
>>85306716whats the ducks name
>>85306876this is nice and i won't pretend otherwise.where yous going lad? chain or some local place?
>>85306694Come to >>>/lgbt we'll give you something to be depressed about when we trick you into becoming gay for our sexual gratification then spit on you for being straight.
>>85306853Farmfoods is across from an iceland in muh town.I'm living the poor life.
>>85306883Some fancy enema place. Her preference is Lidl own brand straight up the shit pipe, then I come in at the end and suck it back out.
>>85306876if its a female friend id be impressed, otherwise meh
>>85306882Not a exactly a vtuber but it's her mascot the vtuber's name is Oozora Subaruhttps://youtube.com/@oozorasubaru?si=Td8_q3d-UJd0nAYy
Lid, gape your arseLet me get in to youDon't try to fight itThere ain't nothin' that you can doRelax your arseLay back and spread your behindYou gotta feel that meatAnd you can ride a DeanoShare that Deano LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEI wanna bum with you (All night)Turn you into a (Fleshlight)I wanna bum with you (All night)We're gonna spaff the night away (spaff, oh aye)https://youtu.be/5X-Mrc2l1d0
>>85306890wow, that's even nicer than i was imagining.
>>85306904*Provides the backing vocals*>Oh AAAAaaaayeeee...
Never even seen a fucking fanny
>female friendwew
>>85306904Welper, are you okay? So, welper, are you okay? Are you okay, welper?Welper, are you okay? So, welper, are you okay? Are you okay, welper?Welper, are you okay? So, welper, are you okay? Are you okay, welper?You've been bummed by, you've been gaped by, a smooth Bantu! Ow!
He's crappin' and plappin', prolapsing'
>>85306904>Turn you into a (Fleshlight)
free status?its on!oh aye
Not enjoying this curry I won't lie, they might have changed how they make it or changed the spices. But the packaging doesn't say this, just tastes... Weird.
>>85306769I have never set foot in an Iceland
>>85306940Hi Bradly Walsh avatar poster on /brit/ can you please take back HHL we've already had enough of him here thanks x
it my life de lad x
>>85306945me either, no parking for the lambo
IT'S A VIOLENT PORNOGRAPHYCHOKING DICKS WITH MY BATTYSMEARING SHITALL UP MY TV
>>85306973it's flaccid though. Probably at least 5 inches hard
Tempted to have anal sex with Sean
>>85306970Rent free footmong
>>85306984>VIOLENT PORNOGRAPHYnot in this country m8, taking you before the magistrate
>>85306997Only thing rent free for footmong is Sean in his head. His actual rent? 750 pounds.
>>85306970I'm not that guy, and no, he's a massive mong.
>>85306973imagine being this guy's penismatch but not having his humiliation fetish.couldn't be me.
Gawping at smelly Gapes
Helpers gaped arsehole after a bantu bum battering
weird cartoon
'morning wood' is a strange term, wood doesn't only exist or be hard in the morning
>>85307010He is indeed
i want to poo but nothing is coming out
Shippy and Footlad tickling Welpers Bottom
>>85307044wow, how based!
DVDlass and Welper jerkin' it to Eurotrash.
Footmong's mum chasing him through Newquay on rent day brandishing a rolling pin Tom and Jerry style
My hair is unironically starting to look like this. Grim. At least I'm not on minimum wage.
>>85307060*puts on a racist black female accent and pulls up my dress*
>>85307070Time to go bald mate. Sorry your genetics are shite
>>85307070Same. I can't even do the typical 'go bald grow a beard' cope because my facial hair is absolute shit. I'd look like a boiled egg if I went bald
Only a vanta black Bantu Mandingo's Manaconda has what it takes to give Welper true battysfaction x.
Ship Shippy and Mon Moni taking turns on Welpers Bottom while Foot Footy records it all for Host
Never even put my finger up a girl's arse and then sniffed it afterwards, Deano was doing that in his pre teens
Just ate five peperamis after eating eight cheese strings. Feeling quite full now so I'll have my six choobs a bit later.
Wouldn't mind a lass pissing on me but I'd draw the line at a nuggety turddington.
>>85307107i just had 6 peperamis and 9 cheese strings, will be have 7 choobs later
Just ate seven peperamis after eating ten cheese strings. Feeling quite full now so I'll have my eight choobs a bit later.
>>85307070You can just say you're a baldy bonced slap head without the forced gimmick pix lad
>>85307131Learn the difference between balding and bald lad
>>85307136the difference between your head and your arse
>>85307136You should learn you coping little mongboy. LOL!
>>85307136It's the same thing lad. Only a baldy would split hairs (lol) about that.
>>85307130That's some eating that imagine the smell of those protein fueled farts
>You should learn you coping>mongboy
Moni auditing Welpers Bottom
Still disturbed by that photo of Helperlad showing his gape.
Little clapping spastic
>>85307145LOLL bodied him
>>85307141>You should learn you coping
That's like asking what the difference between an egg is.
>>85307154I know it was horrible, why did he do that?
Welper sniffing wokey off Shippys cock
I don't smoke the reefer
HUGH LAURIE BEAT UP MY TRANNY SISTER
>>85307154Tbh the disturbing part is that it looks noncey af and none of the gay boys who pretend to be nonce hunters seem to care. Hardly surprising I suppose with how many gays are paedophiles.
downloading Ricky.Gervais.Alley.Cats.S01.E01-E06.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.x264-CAKES rn
>>85307178torrenting copyrighted content is illegal
I'm still bumming better than I ever did
>>85307177That makes sense, no wonder he bleeted on about THAT video when he's getting up to those gay acts behind close doors. Worrying to say the least.
Quite remarkable when they're like 2% of the population?
>>85307178Bloody hell lad why torment yourself?
Gonna be tucking in to those choobs now lads x
>>85307183I've been torrenting on Virgin Media without a vpn for 10+ years they don't give a fuck unless you're a big fish
>>85307178Apparently it's painfully unfunny. Give us your opinion when you've watched it
>>85307178Torrenting is for incels desu can you not afford Netflix?
ive been torrenting on virgin media without a vpn for 11+ years
>>85307178magnet?
>>85307203Why pay when you can obtain the same thing for free elsewhere? Mong.
>>85307212Convenience, not faffing about with incel computer programs.Netflix is like 10 quid lad I don't even remember it just comes off. Is that a lot to you?
whats that? ricky gervais is playing ANOTHER cynical lazy character??bravo rick! heres to another bafta!
Anal Gapage with Welp Welper and the Shipster
>>85307154I got a 30 days for doxxing after I posted that. Make of that what you will. On mobile so it doesnt really matter to me anyway.
Aura Farming 24/7
I feel very depressed. Everyone needs to know this.
>>85307228I don't need to know shot mongboy.
>>85307220You crack on paying Netcrooks a tenner lad.
>>85307226Why do you have obvious nonce images like that on your phone. 3 years in nonce wing is what you need.
>>85307228>I feel very depressedTFW no gf? Or something else bothering you?
>>85307238Mental illness, really. I haven't had a gf but that doesn't concern me.
>>85306853More of a heron foods man myself.
>bring girl back to gaff>stick tv on>do you have netflix??>erm well no but whatever you want i can get on me torrents
Helper actually got his arse gaped?I thought you lads were joking...
>>85307257Plex, mate.
Ummm torrents wait isn't that like illegal umm that sounds icky idk i thought you would just have netflix Tbh it's giving ick I'm not sure we are compatible
Depressing just how many w*men are on r/bald. Fuck off.
>she wants to watch netflix not fuckoh no no no no enjoy the friendzone
>>85307262No it's real. Somebody posted a photo of him yesterday showing off his rosebud during the marmiteman4 days
Gaperlid
>>85307257>stick tv onAre you 70?
Reckon you could murder a man with a tortilla chip?
>>85307237All above board mate apart from the doxxing. Nothing noncey about an adult exploring their sexuality, each to their own.
>im sorry i couldn't get you the souffle at the restaurant love i had to give me last 10 quid to netflix so i could watch ricky gervais' alley cats (3/10)
>>85307311Yeah but I won't explain how
Keep on having dreams where my teeth get pried out of my mouth. I wonder what it means. Can you interpret it, lads?
>>85307311maybe by choking him. not by using it as a weapon.
>>85307311do i have prep time, and access to a freezer?
>>85307314You think that looks like an adult? You watch stuff like that so much you dont even realise how it looks to normal people?You're a gay nonce.
>>85307351Let's say yes to both
Been thinking about posting me details on /soc/. Reckon I can find a gf there or is it 99% men?
>wait don't leave luv, it just got off to a rough start, are ricks on for another bafta with this
>>85307314You need a laptop scan tbqh.
>>85307359aight. then yeah.
After his YouTube channel marmiteman4 got shut down helper turned to gay webcam sites to explore his new found sexuality, there he met a user called greggthegaper726 and he showed helper how to express his homosexual feelings and desires. Over the next few months he became very popular in the gaping/rosebud community and was known as GaperLad the UK GAPEMAN
>>85307356why are you so obsessed with making out someone known to be in their late 20s to be a child
>>85307323You think souffle is posh lad? lolWhy would I ever be on my "last" ten quid? Is that a common experience for you?
>late 20slol he wishes
>>85307373Sorry so is it the marmiteman days as stayed above, when he was a teenager, or is it now the late 20s which hilarious zany sean fanfic is it now? I have eyes, that pic looked like marmiteman sean, ie very young. Very fucking creepy and noncey to have that image. Don't even want to think where you got it from. Tor?
im in my special place
>>85307376>poshyeah lad the only reason someone would buy something is because they think its 'posh' and not because it tastes good. telling to your mindset really
>he waived alley cats>he liked itIs he having a laugh
I was on the bus today and a student lad, not very attractive, Asian, was on it. A gorgeous student girl came on the bus, saw him and her face lit up, and she gave him a huge hug. They talked the entire journey enthusiastically and gave him another hug when she got off her stop. Never felt such rage/jealousy in my life. How can an ugly Asian guy get female contact more than me, a tall white guy who's above average?
>>85307402which type of asian
>>85307394I'm sorry I have upset you. You are free to continue torrenting and being an incel.
>>85307388alright lad, you seem to be the expert on what anuses look like at different stages of life
just went on /soc/ for the first time. filth.
>>85307407Chinese or something
>>85307360in the uk threads its like 80 men per 1 female
>>85307412Can you not tell the difference between adults and children then is that a special ability only some people have? So are you only a nonce by accident or something?
>>85307411bit childish, ngl
Imagine defending helper when nobody likes him on this website. What a life
Gawping at Welpers Bottom
>>85307360Judging by the all the porn posted there, unlikely any real females
>>85307418prob uses his high iq to manipulate women well
>>85307435Show us where you got that pic then and prove its above board.
Would love to see helpers rosebud again
Let's do a bit of classic rockbusters. We'll start easy. Any of you xfmers out there, keep quiet.Cryptic clue about a musician or bandThat lads got bad asthmaInitial W
>>85307447Google gaped male arse and check page 1 of the images
>>85307402you couldn't ever get me to release this information willingly
Gay paedo gapemong
>>85307447Trip on GaperLad
Why do you lads loved gaped aresholes so much. Bit horrible
flower sprout, then die and rot
>>85307423don't think you can if you think a man his late 20s looks like a child lah
I've always wondered what women wank to. Same as us men?
>>85307456>Google gaped male arseNo thanks I'm not a gay nonce. Just screenshot it.
>>85307389>im in my special placesame :)
>>85307468lesbo shite
>>85307464t. never had his batty gaped
>>85307470Nah you can look yourself if you want
>>85307467You are unironically a paedo mate. Projecting paedo nonce.
I love britfeel. It provides me social interaction with likeminded people.
Ever cum so hard you accidentally splat your own face?
>>85307472wow cvte :))
>>85307470really? because you seem bizarrely desperate to convince yourself you've seen cp when you blatantly havent
>>85307479>Nah you can look yourself if you wantLying paedo concession moment
>>85307452Werlin
>>85307490Not my problem if you can't be bothered mate, don't complain though, yeah.
just found out about hypergamy and punched a hole in my wall
UK GaperLad going off on a massive melty off trip because somebody leaked his marmiteman4 gaping cam image
Is eBay promoted listing a scam? Why should they get a percentage of my sell?
another pregabalin garn down the hatch x
why did teachers at school always have disgusting breath...
>>85307489>really?Yes>(paedo drivel)Didn't ask
>>85307502coffee usuallypersonally i chew gum after drinking coffee
>>85307468Probably blacked porn
Gaping Welpers Bottom with Shipster
>>85307498Ah yes marmiteman4 when he was in his late 20s in 2010 eh?
Went to the soc brit thread and its mostly just fags posting their arses. Bit mental that. Probably zero women there. Why do gay gimps have to scare off women with posting their cocks. Need to off themselves desu.
>>85307505good to know you're tired of this pretending gimmick and not trying anymore, hope your next gimmick is better. good luck!
>>85307468pop round Blad's and have a listen to his mam's hi-fi.
>good to know you're tired of this pretending gimmick and not trying anymore, hope your next gimmick is better. good luckTf does this even mean lmao. Paedo fried his brain.
remember no copyright sounds
>>85307527Lads start babbling like that when they're flustered
you never see emos anymore, just remembered cyber goths existed, I dont think any of those are around now.
>>85307196halfway through, it's bad. started out OK but it got overbearing quickly.if this was a recurring sketch in something else, everyone would love it.
>>85307566>you never see emos anymorechavs rendered them extinct
>>85307567>it got overbearing quickly.from are Rick???
Shippy gaping holes and taking names
whenever young people try to emulate #2000s #myspace #retro emos or scene kids, they get it wrong.how hard is it to just have a fringe or dyed orange hair? get that stupid e-girl shite off your cheeks.
>>85307567Worst thing to happen to cats since dogs
I'd like to apologise as I made a mistake about the solar eclipse. It's on Wednesday not today. >>85307526Thank God she's not into that slop anymore. I think the last one she was into was vampires and zombies or werewolves and vampires I cannot remember.
Got mesel' a cast iron kettlebell. 20kg to start with, might be too heavy but used to lift up until recently so should be okay.
>>85307575true, there are e whore goths and metalheads though but the emo is well and truly gone.
>>85307502I had one whose breath would fill the room. Was fucking horrific.
>>85307596>d like to apologise as I made a mistake about the solar eclipse. It's on Wednesday not todayoh man that lad who has solar events as a hair trigger will NOT be happy with you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_emo_killings_in_Iraqpoor lads didn't stand a chance
MEGA fucking fuming right
*has his vulcan apu give a seether the vulcan nerve pinch*
Gawperlad the Gaperlad
>yeah im like really into art
GaperLad firing up the webcam like the old days to give us one last rosebud show
>>85307490Ask and you shall receive liddingham
>>85307682>Gay extreme asshole monste....Phwoooooooooooaaaaaarrr thats lush
>>85306535Not very good. Full of crackheads, cultural enrichers who put kids in kebabs and pedo teachers who pack the fudge of their adoptive babies.
>>85307596>she's not into that slop anymore. shame. nowt wrong with a bit of light reading, it's harmless fluff.i've read a few of these modern Mills & Boon books and they really are terrible. i know it's smug-arseholery to read them for a laff, but the authors KNOW
>>85307360Nothing but fudge packers and transsexuals.
kek he gapes holes oh right
>>85307682Hahahahahaahahahahahaha xvideos nall
>hm, what should i name my construction company so i appear at the START of the Yellow Pages?
Can't remember the last time I had a wank
>>85307744sounds like sementia lad :(
Welpers Bottom requesting a gape
Hope I get a cheeky sell on eBay or Vinted. No doubt I'll have some CHEEKY BASTIDS as usual.
>>85307776dadberg got scammed on ebay recently, said the package didn't arrive when he had a photo of it on the doorstep. ebay always just believes the buyer
>>85307719These are basically the woman versions of the western novels I read.
>>85307682Whoahahahahahahahahaha
>>85307790They want me to boost the visibility but that's a SCAM. Simple as.
>>85307682So it is real then who would have known
I gape gape I gape for you
>>85307790is this part of that 'low trust society' i keep hearing about?i have barely touched eBay for 10+ years, but it always felt like it was in your best interest NOT to be a chancer.
Charlie Chaplin was my grandfather and he molested me but nobody could hear my screams.
>>85307841set a reminder on your phone to take your pills.
>>85307865I take suppositories thank you very much.
>>85307871wouldn't have thought you would need to after...
Welpers Bottom and the curious case of the Bantus
Hope the new Harry Potter show has a hardcore sex scene as well as a tranny lynching.
need your opinion lads:is Chevron a good name for a boy?
>>85307893Not my favourite to be honest mate. Sounds a bit gay.
>>85307891i hope they have some future-proofing mindset where none of the outside world creeps into it, and if anything it's a solid 90s period piece.but the fact they're doing one-book-per-series means they'll pad the first two to fuck, they'll be overly tempted to use that space to add a gay OC.
>>85307921Is it confirmed it starts in the 90s? I was hoping to get a Hermione OnlyWitches arc.
Footmong and Welpermong getting their buttocks abused by a crackhead sex pest while cottaging
Need Chika back RIGHT NOW. MY WEE PAL!
>>85307928>Is it confirmed it starts in the 90s? i think so. look at these ginger fucks, 90s af.
12 big black bantus STRETCHING welpers gaped rosebud arsehole to the point of no return, no wonder he wears nappies because his arsehole is like the black hole of Calcutta
>>85307935Footmong would definitely shag Welper given the chance, both queers
>>85307947Corrrr, is that Jen? LUSH MILFINGTONS. I'm cautiously curious tbqh but it's silly just HOW MUCH it looks like the films production wise. I mean, what's the point?
>>85307943he was an incredible downer
>it's a "Molly Weasley gives Muggles round the back of the train station cheeky blowies in exchange for packets for duty-free cigarettes" episode
Hey everybody, did the news get aroundAbout a guy named HelperlidOh, Lid just flew into this townAnd he's hoppin' on all the Bantu meatHe's crappin' and plappin', prolapsing'He's crappin' and plappin', prolapsing'He's crappin' and plappin', prolapsing'He just craps, plaps, humps that meatHelperlads got a loose old arseHe starts gapin' filled with spunky slopAll you Bantus gotta watch your sidesCause Lid don't care whose spunk he copsEver since Helper flew into townHe's been garn full scale.Just suckin' and fuckin' for miles aroundSingle Deanos, married Bantus, old Jeets all maleWakes up in the morning, half past fiveBummed from sunrise to sunsetI don't see how he stays aliveMeat's gonna be the death of ole Lid, yetThe police put Lid in jailYes, he finally met his fateBut when they came to pay his bailThey found him bollocked by his cell matehttps://youtu.be/wY4N5NOAsH0
>>85307682JFC that fucker is JUICYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>85307976>he's crappin and plappin, prolapsinkek got a chuckle outta me
>three Typhoon jets off the coast of Sunderland.What's going on
Having a mars bar lads. Been looking forward to this all day
Corrr I've been to Torquay. Nice place. Good vibes.>>85307943I suspect you are a trollington pretending to be nice.
Dairy milk isn't what it used to be. Prefer a galaxy these days
>>85307962>it's silly just HOW MUCH it looks like the films production wise. I mean, what's the point?yeah it doesn't even feel like they're old enough to come off dated (some dodgy CGI aside). if anything, they've become classics and today's kids still enjoy them.i'd get it if they absolutely buggered it up the first time around. it has become a trend that children's books with a bad 2000s film adaptation get a second shot at it on Netflix.
>>85307975wouldn't mind rimming her shithole
Its fine having to read about gaped assholes all day but i ask you, where is the humanity? Where is the humanity
>when you're so damaged that everyone is a post-ironic troller first, a candid truth-speaker second
>>85307997do you keep them in the fridge or cupboard
Never even kissed a girl's bumhole
Welpers Bottom entering Monster Gapingtonshire
>>85308027Well, yeah. The world has ground me down innit. It is what it is.
>>85307988Full scale weltdown imminent
>>85308045sad way to be
>>85308033Fridge lad. Keep all my chocolate in the fridge. (Even my jellies too)
might get into livestreaming
>>85307997Racer bar or nothing little lad.
Not had a racer bar in ages, back in the day I'd eat 6 in one sitting.
Nothing like eating six racer bars after a long day of spelunkin'.
>>85308065Had to google it. An aldi dupe. Ill have to try it next time in an aldi. Will report back with findings
Most of the lads in this thread have a fat FUPA and a small dick
World spins on its axis. One man works while another relaxes
Welper licking Shippys sweaty crack after a day sat in the lorry
>>85308089I have FUPA but my dick isn't really small. Just normal and I can tell it would probably look big if I didn't have my fat pouch.
wouldn't mind something sweet but i ordered pure junk last night on them zopiclones.it's actually grim>oh yeah i'll scoff a Biscoff waffle + Biscoff milkshakethen half an hour later i need to go to sleep. hell i've done this to GET to sleep.
>>85308058Go outside and do some live audit style videos. Film females as that gets normies riled up and then you will have police turn up trying to make you stop your legal activity. Then you can say to your viewers how the police are trying to stop you from recording in public legally. Any one that gets up in your face even without touching you is technically common assault so make sure you mention that to the police (normies will lie to the police by the way).
>>85308106I'd love a milkshake right now and a big cream bun or something. REEEEEEEEE!
>FUPAit's water weight and inflamed organs. i am within the healthy weight range for my height.
I would really like to see a surveillance camera man uk version. Just go up and film inside shops and businesses. "Just making a video" every time someone asks you a question.
>>85308116I'd like to have a nibble on R's cream bun right now
Are dementia patients in a care home allowed to plap?
Are patients in a mental hospital allowed to plap?
Buying custard slices tomorrow
Jobcentre want me to go to an appointment. I specifically didn't upload any identity documents to the gov site and now they want me to bring these in person. The fuck? The whole point of me doing that was because I did not have any. It says I have an appointment with a female name too so you can tell females just sit around all day doing this easy job.
I love how AI just agrees with me all the time.
>>85308142More of a bourbon biscuit man myself.
Are patients in a mental hospital allowed to post on britfeel?
Little spliff, then bedtime methinks. Slap mi willy about a bit then off to sleep, oh yeah.
Shippy unloading his wollocks inside Welpers Bottom
sort of wanted to run a cafe or something when i was younger. nothing TOO fancy, mind, just somewhere between a greasy spoon and a bougie student place.it's better that i didn't, right lads? all small businesses fail. and even if they didn't, i'd have to put up with 'vloggers'.
>>85308055i used to do the same but then i though in the shop there not chilled so i shouldn't do it at home plus they're not as hard when they're at room temperature
Imagine if that greggs lass started an onlyfans instead of making sausage rolls all the time.
Keeping chocolate in the fridge is a recipe for a cracked tooth.
I have difficulty urinating
>>85308148Not biscuits these are better than biscuits https://maryberryrecipes.co.uk/mary-berry-custard-slice-recipe/
>>85308151Welper hasn't been allowed out his padded cell for years after THAT incident, they allow him a phone with direct access to only britfeel to live out his fantasies online
how do i get a haircut if i have social anxiety?
>>85308215Buzz it off and claim top rate PIP x
>>85308168dealing with customers, the council and the bank would have been a ball ach
Marketing and Textiles Volunteer. Wow, a masters degree really must have paid off. Hopefully she that isn't the ceiling for her. I guess there may be opportunities in Turkiye. Really silly how foreign students pick the UK for opportunities given how shit it is here for wages. It's such low pay compared to the USA.
>>85308210are you drinking enough water>>85308183yep shouldnt keep eggs in there either
>>85308215Ask your mother to cut your hair (that's what I do) buzzcut number 2
>>85308215Tell yourself for weeks that you'll go until you eventually do and then it was totally fine and you tell yourself "next time I won't worry", and then next time comes around and you worry anyway. Corrr. That's how it's always been for me anyway. It not lush desu desu wa.
>>85308215How do you get loads of mates to go clubbing and pubs with if you have social anxiety?
>>85308215Don't know lad my hair is past my arse at this point. I kind of want to shave it all off but I have massive cysts on my scalp which puts me off.
Welpers Bottom entering Cumville
Do people on UC get a discount on holidays or something? Our Mark is here there and everywhere these days.
>>85308215I bought clippers online several years back and buzz it off to grade 1 every few years. It's a bit annoying getting around the ears and other loose long hairs but doing that and then a shower feels much better.
>>85308255They once gave me a christmas bonus of 10 quid many years ago.
>>85308255He doesn't have many other expenses if he isn't gambling don't think he even buys gadgets now. No point in money when you can't buy love of Helen back.
Going to treat myself to a tipping yogurt if you lot don't mind.
>>85308212Sry lad read it as custard creams my bad. I do like a custard slice from greggs
>>85308268I'd tip my yogurt in you
>>85308268Wouldn't mind tasting R's yoghurt pot
>>85308251based + scabrous metalheadmy hair sort of just 'spills' onto my shoulders, does long hair go past a point where it just becomes LONG long?
>>85308291The most annoying thing is when you're sitting on the toilet or using a backpack and shit like that, but I've had long hair since I was 13 so I'm used to it. I hate tying it up though so will avoid it as much as I can. Nice head of hair on you, lid, mines is like that too but can go quite curly at times too.
>>85308263i wonder how much it costs them just to send everyone the letter INFORMING them about the Christmas bonus.they barely send letters about anything else, even important stuff
Welper jumping the fence at Newcastle International Airport and running onto the runway as a passenger jet prepares to land. He immediately drops his cumstained booty shorts and bends over, exposing his black hole batty to the incoming aeroplane. He slaps eagerly at his arsecheeks and screams "FUAAARKKIN ELL FLY UP ME CREASE" before being pasted by the landing gears.
>>85308263Love me Christmas bonus me back in the day it used to get me a takeaway, not so much now can't even buy a arch Mac meal for that
>>85308310Wouldn't it all be done through your "journal" on the universal credit site these days? At least the NHS uses the cheapest thin paper possibly nowadays to cut costs.
>>85308305thanks lad + fair enoughmad how 90% of lassies just have to accept all this stuff. it's like they are greasy metalheads by default.
>>85308289Is it chocolate flavour or just the vanilla kind you'll be going for?
As hairlass said "Everything happens for a reason"
Haha yeah that's so mad like what haha mad
Welper walks with a certain "gait" because of years of abuse during his camming days in the gaping/rosebud scene in the mid 2010s. In his 30s he's paying the price now as he has to wear nappies to stop himself from spontaneously shitting himself at any given moment. I wonder was it worth it?
>>85308318i got a letter last year (and quite possibly in all previous years)it is odd that almost everything else is done through the journal, but they HAVE to notify people via paper, in case they're overwhelmed with confusion at being sent a mystery tenner
>>85308319Showering takes ages too when it gets to this length. Have to make sure it's properly clean, you know? Massive amounts of conditioner. I used to windmill at concerts and create a personal little area for myself. Yeah, I'm THAT asshole.
GaperLad the UK ROSEBUD
>>85308327you have to wonder:is she why his life is better now? without her, would he be on a different path?
18, drives a Lexus and goes hiking all by herself. It really is a different world for females in the USA. What is there even here? The Great Ridge? Britain is shit.
>>85308340It's still 10 quid? It was 10 quid in like 2008. You'd think it would be 12 quid by now but no it has to be a round number.
>>85308357not a lawyer, but i am fairly confident you can go outside and walk around
Looking at new laptops. All the cool stuff is so expensive. Oh well, maybe I'll not bother. Phones are the same. I shall have some sweets now and try to not get depressed. Last night I got very sad thinking about how I'm a total failure and my parents never got to be proud of me. Now they are getting old and they likely won't see me make anything of myself. New feel, that.
There i was lads. I get there, she's aged 19, Ferrari Chassis, fantastic set of shelves and legs up to her arse.
>>85308327>Everything happens for a reasonbollocks almost nothing happens for a reason
>>85308374Us GNU/Linux lads will hold on to our ageing thinkpads for the next twenty years. It really is end times for building a pc, affording a laptop...all thanks to AI and the higher powers wanting us to use terminals connected to cloud computers. Say goodbye to privacy and anonymity on the internet.
Might watch the prestige. Bet that lad in the other night who hates nolan is seething
Might see if Welper wants his arse seeing to x
>>85308373Round here there's nothing but cheap council homes and shops. Even the coastal towns are so grim and boring.
>>85308374Deano is balls deep in that lass you fancied at school rn
>>85308365https://www.gov.uk/christmas-bonus/what-youll-getstill a flat 10 pounds. not sticking my nose up at a free tenner, mind, but it does feel like 'what's even the point?'>>85308374have you looked into ex-display/refurbished laptops? essentially as-new but it was once out in a shop or returned by someone or whatever, sometimes they knock hundreds of quid off.
>>85308402no him but my plan in life it to retire to some small costal town where the flats are cheap and spend my last days sitting on a bench staring at the sea
>>85308402ITTT WAAAS THE COASTAAAAL TOWN THAT THEY FORGOT TO CLOSE DOWN
>>85308395Good choice to help you fall asleep. Most people will be out like a light after 10 minutes.
>>85308404Weird post. I didn't really fancy any. >>85308406I'm looking at the moment yeah. At thinkpads but there are so many models and I get stuck with choices/decisions.
This Iryna lass has been dead for almost a year and I still think of her.
>>85308423>help you fall asleep.My go to is Day After Tomorrow
Not to worry it can go in the next thread as well
>>85308435Braveheart for me
Beachy Head. Now that's a great one way hiking spot. Wouldn't mind going there when I'm ready.
>>85308434Beautiful roses. I know somebody else here who likes roses too x
Memories lostLike tears in rainTimeTo sleep
for me, it's this fella's videos.
Obviously I will leave very early (get the earliest train) so mumberg doesn't know I'm gone right away. Doing it at home would be too traumatic for her.
>>85308465MLT-T
>>85308481MLT-TWhat is this
>>85308463There are a lot of ukrainian roses that are very beautiful. I wish I could be with one.
>>85308470For me it's that dutch rollercoaster tycoon guy that makes autistic videos about how the game functions.
It Tuesday xAnother cock another wokkle but always DeanoIt's like the visions of bantus seems to be trueAnother cock another wokkle but always DeanoIn the night I dream of bantus and youI take take, I take your cockIn the batty, in your dreams, a gape so trueI take take, I take your cockIn the batty, in your dreams, a gape so truehttps://youtu.be/Pav2f4b-1ZE
>>85308465Nighty night cattoposter, sleep well friend.
>>85308514Show us your rosebud lad
>>85308514>)00:00:00>It Tuesday xbot post
>>85308494you tell me o__o
I hate myself and I want to die desu
>>85308529he's done this before. i'm also convinced it's scripts at this point. and it's the same lad (or two) responsible for previous flooding/gimmicks.
>>85308536Train to Beachy Head to think about your life.
>>85308514Show us your gape like you did back on your webcamming days lad
>>85308529Ever thought about reporting it, you said the same last week but it's still here?
Eating out a Gaped Batty
>>85308543weird obsessive lad he is
>>85308569Forgot the link, didn't I. https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/85215283/#q85219825
>>85308569ackshyually he merely mentioned it was against the rules.
>>85308579I know, and I asked if they thought about reporting it????
>>85308536is it somthing you can change?
Imagine having sex with Ruth.
>>85308583no you only asked me>isnt that against the rules m80 ?>thought about reporting it?i am not at liberty to divulge that information x
>>85308603I didn't ask that, but ok.
Might ask Deano if I can use his LLM again xhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew_c5ewoVQk
gay wedding episode of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
>>85308611yes he didthink u r a bit confused about pronouns m8
out of coffee cubes.need to use up some milk, less than 24 hours remain.what's a good use for milk?
>>85308623You're waffling mate, night.
>>85308633you could just drink it
>>85308639yeah i am.good night friend, hope you have some cool dreams
Welper Bottom entering bumseshville
You don't get it my need to be clever post irony for the win is more important than communicating
>>85308650milk is too precious as a resource.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b40QdTRaqFkwatch this, but imagine they're talking about milk instead of dicks. that's just how i feel.
The downfall of Storror is a crushing blow to the jumping on things community
>>85308612Not had a wokkle bank update in a while have you stopped going?
>>85308668go back to your bantuposting, poopdickschizo.
>>85308695Very organic lad we all believe its a different lad replying these meaningless bot-like posts who just so happens to also be here 20 hours a day
Some very unhappy chappys in here tonight
my beef consomme has frozen/coagulated into a strange jelly.
>>85308695He stopped going after the incident, it's sad! Hasn't been the same since really.
>>85308820Can you give us a quick rundown on the incident?
>>85308874Well... He was down there for his usual daily dosage of bum fun when a hotel dweller came along and set the whole place alight. Explosions everywhere, cum buckets lifted, bdsm gear MIA. It'll take a while until the place is usable again.
>>85308922That's a real shame I hope welper can go back to doing what he loves best. Giving those poor refugees some sexual relief after they come off the boats, it must be so stressful crossing the English Channel x
Got those real stinky BBQ farts de lids.
>>85308595Will R doesn't need to imagine.
how do i prove my ethnicity on the internet?i am SICK TO DEATH of LOSING ARGUMENTS
Douglas Murray the shabbos goy fudge packer
Black Hole Botty
R's fanny on W's foreskin
>>85309104Just post a photo of your hand it's not that difficult
my Minecraft emeralds are not transferring to the potions websitemight just try again. even phishers/scammers aren't immune to brute force attacks.
Phew. Just woke up from a dream where i was dying of radiation poisoning. Went on so long i came to terms with dying and could almost feel the physical effects start. Puts things in perspective really that being a neet britfeeler isn't the worst fate. Back to sleep now i think
>>85309728oh my daisy days.good thread on /tv/ atm about that there Threads film. spooky kino, that.luckily in the real world, nothing ever happens. just avoid nuclear power stations lad.
>new Idea for helper shitpost>Otis Redding song "Sitting on the dock of fhe bayBut>Sitting on a cock cus im gay
Eating some 06:46 fridge chocolate
Finished watching Drive. Going to bed now, night lids.
having an 06:51 7Up.
Good morning. I want to die.
>>85308589It's something that's out of my control
MASSIVE headache rn
>>85310782reject locus of controlembrace your deathlust
Bumming bummer lad
A new day to be the same witless moron on 4chan
>>85310922You'll be here all day to read it all
Me? Garn work now.
Bum Bummerlad of Bumton
BYOB
I have never sniffed it
NEW ONE CORRR>>85311198>>85311198>>85311198
>>85311205jumping the gun a bit, ladat this rate we had all morning for those final 27 posts
Might stay here and finish this one off. I have nothing else to do.
Might actually not
