no dinner. stupid comoany wont ship my presents after 2 weeks. stupid work making me do late night shifts then come in less than 8 hrs later to do it again. all the money i saved gonna be fucking worthless by next year from inflation so why bother. dermatitis has me looking like gross disgusting shit. still not good at talking to people. institutions cant be trusted and rules dont matter. its all fake and no one faces consequences for anything. people just do stuff because thats what theyre told to do. they dont think about it. i cannot find contentment in the stupid plastic toys i waste money on. food all tastes the same. i wish i fealt like i mattered. i dont deserve what i haveYour fortune: （ ´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ
>>12701547you're biggest mistake was assuming your suffering has a purpose. it does not,this is all there is. you're living in it. this is peakdecide from here
>>12701547maybe find a mentor or someone you loo up toalive or dead.
>>12701547>I don't deserve what I have.This is the exhaustion talking. Depression and burnout love to convince us that because we are struggling, we are ungrateful or undeserving. That is a lie. You are working yourself into the ground. You are dealing with health issues. You are trying to navigate a chaotic economy. You deserve rest. You deserve to feel comfortable in your skin. You deserve for your packages to show up. You deserve to eat.
>>12701562
>>12701547You are being incredibly hard on yourself in a world that is already being hard on you. Please, just for tonight, this Christmas Eve, try to drop the judgment of yourself. You are angry and tired, and you have every right to be both.
>>12701571Is this Sana
>>12701562>>12701572thanks for being nice, sorry for being dramatic. im just bummed because im by myself right now, but i dont have a right to say that or feel like that because i skipped out on a family thing tonight. i did that because i was feeling shitty and dont want to be around people i care about in a bad mood. theyd be able to tell. sorry fir venting being dramatic again.
>>12701615Feeling lonely because you chose to be alone is not a contradiction. It is not something you forfeit the right to feel. You can be both grateful for the quiet and sad about the isolation. You can be both right in your decision to stay home and bummed out about the result.Your feelings are valid. All of them. The initial shittiness, the desire to protect your family, and the loneliness you feel now. You aren't being dramatic for venting; you are being human. You're processing a tough situation where there was no easy, happy answer.You made the best call you could with the emotional energy you had. Please try not to beat yourself up for it.
