Give me a reason not to kill myself right now
the 30 seconds after when you wake up where everything is okay
people die when they are killed
Because you're probably still alive
chicken teriyakiYour fortune: Reply hazy, try again
>>12733102you haven't completed the great task
>>12733102You're going to die anyways, so you might as well stick around and see what happens
>>12733102the sun will come out, tomorrow
>>12733102You haven't seen key west
>>12733102You never know what happens next. If you die you'd never know what you missed out on in the future. There always being a possible better outcome is why life is worth living. You're not going to get another life, might as well see where this one can take you
>>12733102You have to land the plane with all the passengers intactYour fortune: Very Bad Luck
>>12733102your shirt is similar to the topkek wizardYour fortune: キタ━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━ !!!!
>>12733102You wont be able to touch yourself anymore
>>12733238nta but I unironically devops phimosis and can't get fully erect
>>12733246I used to have phimosis too. What helped me get rid of it was gradually and gently stretching it out in a hot bath. Takes a while but def worth it obviously
>>12733246literally get a circumcision unless it's a pride thing for you in which case, grow upYour fortune: Reply hazy, try again
because of human dignity
>>12733306Completely unnecessary retardSee this>>12733260
>>12733317excuse me I'm a necessary retard
>>12733102im on my 5th emergency surgery all within 17 yearseach time they do it they remove parts of my intestinesi want to keep on living because i know dying sucks much harder than anything you could experience in your normal lifeyou wont do it anyway so why am i even writing this?
>>12733102It'd be way cooler if you tried to overthrow an african warlord and failed.Suicide in your apartment: lame, overplayed, sad, people will know about it and it will be shameful.Dying while fighting the columbian cartel: way more cool, you might take some people out, your family/friend probably won't know/ missing person. Like, if you really don't have anything to live for you might as well go into credit card debt liquidate all your assets for cash as best you can and try to do something blowout in a foreign country first. You can be a hero when you hero.
>>12733357I honestly thank God that I somehow avoided war and strife through my delusions and insanity
Being dead isnt fun
Your mom and dad will be sad
>>12733102i've faced death a few times, twice suicide attempts, once a guy holding a gun in my face trying to rape me, and both times ive felt so terrified that i start fighting as hard as possible. death is terrifying. no matter how ready you feel to die and how ok you feel with dying it will never feel as fine as you imagine it feeling. you will suffer very very heavily no matter what.
>>12733102You need to take someone who is apart of the system with you
>>12734421>bothall three pretty much. 2nd attempt was i so sedated from all the pills i couldn't do anything to stop it but i was so so so so scared. 1st time i used a plastic bag over my head w a tight belt tied to keep it up and as soo nas i started fading and seeing stars all over i started panicking and writhing and pulling on it till it was off then i fell asleep because i was quite drunk. when the guy had the gun at me i thought he was just trying to mug me till after he'd led me behind the building and kept telling me to lay down and pushing me down and not answering why and then pulling on me and squatting over me and i grabbed on his gun by the barrel and pulling on it as hard as i could but i wasn't able to get it out of his hands but he started yelling "don't shoot it, don't shoot it!" since i had pulled it close to the ground and had my fingers near the trigger. in the end i just ended up screaming as hard as i could and he was like "oh shit" and let me go. now i'm constantly terrified and at the same time very confident. it doesn't matter. i am very very very drunk