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its maybe better to have a heart full of uncomfortable emotions than to have a heart thats devoid of anything right?

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princess squish!!

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but lately ive been really struggling to focus my attention

>>12761226
perhaps, but you should start wearing different colors.

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>>12761231
hmm, i dont know if that sort of thing would really change much. actually maybe it would? its actually an interesting idea but thats mostly going to change how you are perceived and that sort of thing isnt currently bothering me

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i wonder, has anyone here ever tried to decorate their room in a drastically different way. do you think that your environment visually can shape your thoughts at all? maybe someone has experience with this sort of thing?

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or maybe i just need to spend more time outside? how do i get my focus back?

I need to be circumcised

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for a long time going outside wasnt really an option for me. i didnt particularly mind but, its been so long

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btw this is me, i have to worry about birds and other wild animals trying to attack me

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its just a bit dangerous

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thank you for listening

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thank you for existing

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thank you for reminding me

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if someone could please help me remember how to enjoy new things rather than repeating the same cycle over and over that would be nice

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you see, im not really a fan of the cycle

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i would rather spend my time doing litterally anything else

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in a way at least this is something new

>>12761226
that "uncomfortable emotion" is called "ambivalence" and it is extremely important to learn how to tolerate and contain it within you. otherwise your mind naturally seeks the easiest way out, which usually just leads to memory loss or dissociation.

Your fortune: Good Luck

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>>12761261
ive always had a really bad memory. for some reason my ability to remember stuff short term is actually decent but everything else isnt quite so vivid

this thread gave me AIDS

Your fortune: Godly Luck

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>>12761261
but! ill have to look at word up! ive never heard of it before

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>>12761263
my gift to u!

>>12761265
if you wish to read more:
>certain personality traits may impact an individual's likelihood of experiencing ambivalence. There are certain personality traits that are not as relevant to ambivalence, such as the need for closure. Other components may alter these traits that may contribute toward ambivalence, such as tolerance to ambiguity. Particularly, those possessing the need for cognition, or the inclination to evaluate the discrepancies between positive and negative emotions, are less likely to experience ambivalence. In other words, the desire to resolve issues, which requires a great deal of cognitive resources, fosters cognitive strength and thus the ability to overcome ambivalence.

>Ambivalent attitudes that demonstrate weakness are accessed slower than strong attitudes. This leads to a conflict called response competition; the process of slowing down responses because of the difficulty to choose between positive and negative beliefs and feelings.

>Information processing for ambivalent attitudes is less efficient and takes longer than processing of attitudes that are relatively univalent. The information is less accessible, so it takes longer for a person to integrate multiple viewpoints regarding an attitude object into one cohesive opinion or judgement.

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

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>>12761261
this is actually very interesting, you gave me something good to research. ive been feeling conflicted a lot lately and its maybe a bit out of control

>>12761269
i think i know exactly how you feel

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>>12761268
i typed a big response to this but ended up deleting the words i typed. it kinda seems like being denied closure can kinda trigger this sort of feeling right? something like that happened to me

>>12761271
i wouldnt be that suprised! i think lots of people who post here can be a bit similar to us. probably! anyways it can be a bit reassuring to think that way because it honestly makes me feel a little less isolated

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listening to a professor talking about ambivalence now!

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lately before even feeding myself i often get this "what's the point?" feeling and maybe ive been ignoring that sort of thing. well i can just eat later probably and so it stops me from doing much because i can just do it later right?

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why not just wait?

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you know honestly writting this all out is making me realize that maybe my mental health is a little worse than i thought? like i enjoy life and everything but it kinda seems like i maybe have some stuff going on

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i got so distracted i forgot i made a coffee.. its cold now!

melancholia

are you a griller?

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>>12761295
slowly, slowly towards serenity
fold up in a blanket of peace
it's not worth it when you're worrying
quickly, quickly get some sleep