A Farewell to S.I barely even know where to start with her. You meant everything to me, and it turned me into nothing. I cried for you, more than once. I cried the night you called me, drunk, from that bumfuck town in the middle of goddamn nowhere, wearing that slutty costume - the one you'd made sure to show me, had made me sit on your bed and wait while you put it on to show it off for me - slurring out that you looooved me, that you were sooo sorrrrry. I was still living with my parents, recovering from my latest series of disastrous life choices. It was Friday, around two in the morning; they were up drinking beers and listening to sad songs, which was and is normal for them.We were on the phone for an hour. You told me you loved me, then paused, and said "I love who you >used< to be." The way you said it made me physically shake; I actually thought I might have a heart attack. I told you that, and you said "Good," and laughed.I said "No, I don't hate you, S.," and I hung up on you. I went to sit down on the couch, and my mom asked if I was okay, but we didn't talk about it. I listened to Piano Song by The Heartless Bastards, and I cried, silently, as I sang along. I don't think I'd ever sung so well in my life. Even then, I loved you - that's what you did for me. You knew me well enough to hurt me. To kill me. You found the parts of me that I keep hidden; I found some of yours, and we shared notes. I never lied about what I thought about you. I loved how effortlessly you manipulated me - engineered me, guided me into position, used me. I'm really good at that game, and I let it happen on purpose; but you outplayed me, you bitch. Nothing was ever good enough for you. I had to prove myself over and over, and you never once failed to let me know when I failed. And I loved every soul-rending second of it, masochist that I am, and you took me for everything I was worth. You made me think I didn't exist.Your fortune: Bad Luck
So goodbye, Starshine. I'm finished with it. I hope you had a nice birthday - my present to you was to leave you the hell alone. And, honestly? I hardly thought about you at all.
>>12950960SIXSEVEEEENTHERE IS A SIX SEVEN ON THE HEARTH!!!!!!!!1111
>>12950964 loleAnd now, some of the poetry I wrote for S. Most of it is quite bad.I lay myself in bed, far away from sleep,An empty place beside me bears your name,My golden fantasies are still too cheap,To capture the sheer beauty of your flame.How briefest touch between us shatters me!I hardly have the gall to meet your eye,But every laugh of yours is victory,Each memory of you a lover's sigh.The crooked way you smile is addicting,Looks you cast my way set me on fire,But my heart beats fastest when reflecting,That it is somehow me that you desire.I hope these final words can strike it true,My sleepless nights are full of dreams of you.
>>12950968That was the first one; it's how I won you over. I actually wrote it out on a piece of paper, folded it up nicely, and gave it to you in person. Some poor eternally friendzoned bastard had also written you a poem, and you showed it to me, and we made fun of it together. Christ. What a bunch of assholes.I miss, and I love youYou know that it's trueThis world just isn't the same without youThe moon is arising out over black hillsMy body is laying here cold dark and stillMy eyelids are frozenMy pupils are wideBut all that I feel is your warmth by my sideI miss, and I love youYou know that it's trueThis world just isn't the same without youMy flesh is pallid, my breathing has stalledI'm sorry I never made time for your callsI'm lost without youI cannot existMy hands keep on clenching themselves into fistsI miss, and I love youYou know that it's trueThis world just isn't the same without youI've been gone for years, or decades, it seemsYet your shining eyes still brighten my dreamsI broke my heart andI sold off my soulThis life I have lived's really taken its tollI miss, and I love youYou know that it's trueThis world just isn't the same without youCoyotes are calling out for their fresh findThe vultures and worms will not be far behindMy blood's running coldAnd my thoughts are slowingIt's finally happened I'm finally goingand white snow is fallingto swallow me upmy path has now endedi'm shit out of luckand grey clouds above me part just one last timethere's more stars up there than i knew one could findwhat a beautiful placeand your beautiful face-I miss, and I love youYou know that it's trueThis world just isn't the same without you.
>>12950960
>>12950974Wrote that one on the greyhound bus on my way back from rehab. Terrible smells, beautiful scenery - outside the bus, that is. A short one that's bad, also from the greyhound route. I was in Los Angeles, having just gotten done chatting up another homeless guy who had bailed outta rehab; he'd asked me for a smoke and we chopped it up. I like the idea of it, but couldn't make it work.In London they ask for a fagIn Vegas they offer a dollarLA will expect it for freeFifty cents for a killer in DallasOne fifty for a 206 dartIn Nawleons you offer your phallasCincinnati serves them up a la carteChicagoans won't even botherAnd the same is true in New YorkSan Fran will offer to barterAnd in Denver they vape.Guess that one's not really /for/ you, but hey, sue me.
>>12950960>>12950968>>12950974>>12950978love-slope,,,, >>>/r9k/
Last one. I actually quite like it. paroxysms of spasms wrack my sullen frame as i, supine, try to divine the meaning of your latest words, the ceiling greebles swinging in the vodka in my vision, my thumbs madly typing then deleting then repeating, every neuron alight, the dirty laundry looming as indictment of my insight, the lack thereof, the words i am sending to anyone but you vibrating with fire in cold waves, aborted, feverish, brilliant and sad, inanity and vanity made reality through cries unheard, the tension of pretension too much to bear as i desperately - quite desperately - discharge my errant energy into those who do not care
and that's all. thanks for reading my blog!
ok
>>12950984I didn't! Thanks for ending it though!
>>12950960im getting fugged by chad while u write me poem
>>12950988you're welcome!! thanks for getting dubs in my thread!!!
>>12950990You're not obligated to be interesting to anyone. It's a weird gen-z obsession that everyone has to be interesting and a constant source of entertainment, or else they have less value as a human.
>>12950988>>12950965>while simultaneously bullying away the nice posters. Meanwhile still feeling self righteous about it the whole time.u said this 5min ago ????and now bullying a nice poster ??????are u an enormous retard ???????????
>>12951000ow, my soul!nice trips!
>>12951000trips of trueYour fortune: （ ´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ
>>12951000If you think threads like this is what [s4s] needs more of, I disagree
>>12951006ion care whatchu want mangYour fortune: Excellent Luck
>>12951010sotrue 10/10 response
okay but dont you have a discord account
>>12951014no! why, should i??
>>12950984Read it.I hope you can find someone who actually loves you.I too act smug and all but its mostly for jokes and reading how her behavior is that of a manipulative jerk, ye sorry about that.Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger
>>12951040probably yes, but matrix and signal are better options
>>12950960>>12950961i very much like your writing, especially the last thread you made, i hope you write more
iwenttoagrillerandaskedherificouldputmyponosinherbobsandshesaidknowThank you for reading my're blogposte!!Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail
>>12951010>>12951040this is nice boardYour fortune: Outlook good
>>12951436>>12951431thank you. there will be more at some point!https://youtu.be/eVRU1F4fZzI>>12951437thank you for posting you're bloge !!!!!
>>12950995okay gramps, back to the Something Awful nursing home with you.
