The longer I take schizophrenia medication, the less interesting I find advanced Mathematics and Computer Science research. How can I fix this? It was highly interesting before, but I had hallucinations and delusions. I might still have them. I really don't know. But I do know that computers and numbers lost whatever it was that made them attractive. How do I correct this? I liked being the version of myself who wants to program for 12 hours a day more than I like this version, even if I was less stable and less tethered to reality.
>>16792794same deal here, I just bruteforce programming at my job and used to bruteforce studyingbut that overachieving optimism and motivation, gone
>>16792810Did it ever improve?
>>16792870just bruteforces everywhere, I'm thinking of dropping the meds, but I have some bruteforcing left to do, you can see the issue
>>16792873this, but also, I managed to realize I was actually schizo, and turned my life around quiet successfully, infinite bruteforces required
>>16792873>>16792877What does bruteforces mean? What is this in practice?
>>16792893do it, regardless if you feel like not doing, others call it discipline or grinding
>>16792794Why be attached to reality? Fuck that, man is a divine being, and meaning is in mental symbols and pursuit, not in atoms.
>>16792981purchase candy bar
Steelman your disconnect. Why do you want to be disconnected? What are the specific things that you perceived as disconnect? If you seriously entertain them and take them to their logical conclusions, but without acting on them, you will see that their either completely nonsensical, or that there is a core of truth about yourself or the world hidden among the hubris that made you perceive it as untethered
>>16792794I remember your posts and the research and programming you were claiming to do was nonsense. You also made it impossible to discuss certain topics on /g/ which drove away people who could have helped you or at least made posts you would find interesting and want to read.The version of yourself you want to return to was delusional and less tethered to reality which unfortunately made >serious discussions by people who shared your interests a lot harder
>>16792794Meds = labotomy
I’m taking light doses of paliperidone pills and NAC and I still feel energetic and interested in stuff. If I increase my paliperidone dose too high it makes me feel kind of numb so I have lowered it and take NAC daily instead. I have manic schizophrenia and last time I had an episode I spent like $2000+ in a few days
>>16793211>/g/>TechnologyWrong. You are a "products and services" board mixed with "DIY" for said products and services.
>>16793253>Make technical discussion impossible by spamming coomer anime in any threads with certain keywords>hurr durr people dont talk about technology on /g/Astounding reading comprehensionFirst and last time I respond to you since you're a 15IQ acid casualty KKKraKKKer who's mistaken his brain damaged delusions for some sort of enlightenment
>>16792794doesn't it depend on the medication , a lot of it is supposed to just sedate you outright , which even in the most idealised of what schitzofrenia is , is a resenable compromise.that being said , I do feel like thier either has to be a jurnal you need to be noisy about , or a speicfic treatment person that could still help you in your situation
>>16792981I mean just look at /x/ to see if , even in the context of the devine , some people might still want to keep thier meds.
>>16793266>spamming coomer animeIve only ever see Maid Math post about Mathematics or CompSci.>Astounding reading comprehensionPost links to posts or your full of shit.>you're a 15IQ acid casualty KKKraKKKer who's mistaken his brain damaged delusions for some sort of enlightenmentYour LARP of being "basically a Psychologist" flies on /g/, but this is /sci/ and youre now clearly full of shit. Stop LARPing on the internet you fuck up.Go back and post about YouTube or graphics cards or whatever you product paypig.
>>16793289are you OP name fag.
>>16793301>areare*>name, name*>fag.fag?*>>>/lit/
>>16793309>Are*Damnit. Im preoccupied with more pressing matters, namely tomorrow's work at the Ministry of Justice in Kabul.Detractors lying means the case is without merit, your deflection by sealioning to fish for information to base a new case on means it is dismissed with prejudice.Go back; >>>/g/
>>16793314>Detractors lying means the case is without meritGood luck convincing the judge, we've worked on that too.
>>16792794>schizophreniahttps://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sciencehttps://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/scire#Latinhttps://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/scio#Latinhttps://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CF%83%CF%87%CE%AF%CE%B6%CF%89#Ancient_Greekthat is to be expected, science and schizophrenia are both schizoif you try to heal or cure something, you should expect it to go away.why its also retarted to trust these scientists, they themselves think schizo is an ailement to be medicated, logic condemns them as charlatansnow, come watch this societies stabled and tethered to reality healers slaughter 400 healthy ostridges situated in the remote mountains in the name of their perverted $cience
>>16793321not OP , but anon , just look at /x/ . doctors do tend to be souless repuductive bugs , but I can see how they manage to hold the status qou, this doesn't mean that you have to be thier slave , but thier are stakes in schizo surfing.
>>16793301No, I'm the maidposter.
>>16793352well they should stick to the oaths they swear by and quite trying to go freudianyung on the public for the profit of big pharma. they dont deserve the trust big media gave themno back to their mass exotic bird sacrifice, suredly they have their diviners there to scyre their entrails
>>16793374doctors and specially groups and rules of those same doctors that do this type of massive breaking of outh stuff are niggers , and they should objectevly be seen as evil and hated , but anon , I just feel like they should be hated with that level of nuance , most doctors and poeple allied with them are just weakristed weak willed people who just don't see the hassel or any other way from the one that just beerly works and are not really involved in those rakets. but the reason this rackets work , is that they do work well enough , for people to be to afraid of the mountain of blood that could happen because of this changing this , which then makes it so the people without shame are the only ones allowed to move.I don't think you nesesarely can go full schorged earth for that reason , people like this wants you to pick a side , because playing with them is thier strength , you have to have the mentality that you own everything around this subject matter and that it works for you.I think that a lot of schitzo meds are basically either a soft lobotomy , or the same as needing to be an alchoholic to stay sane.but if you are a modern person , with modern sensevilities and most importanly modern sins , and you happen to be blessed with the schitzo , how many tools do you really have to not end up totally crazy , imaging being forced to do math in a life or death situation but you can not even belive in math , it goes against your fundamental world view , it makes sence a lot of people rage quit.this doesn't mean you have to accept the bug men doctor narative , but you do have to realise that they did set a bar and you will have to argue how you can top it.if you tell OP that they need to quit thier meds you need to tell them a better way they could be using thier time to deal with any negatives , because otherwise you just become an enfoncer of the bug men. thier is a certain type of madness that people get by seeing someone crazy.
>>16792893Are you not familiar with the hacking paradigm in which you try all possible combinations to crack a password? Interesting
>>16793410I think most mental illness is diagnosed accurately by uncle ted and the sooner more get their basic means of sustenance secured through farming, foraging, trapping or hunting the mental gynnastics to keep themselves dancing for their meal ticket (sorry your bNk froze your account) the quicker it goes away
>>16793441I understand the term in context of computers, but not human behavior. My problem is a total lack of motivation, ideas and interest when I used to have an overabundance of all three.
>>16793507what were your worst symptoms?t. 40 yo schizo on meds
>>16792794Many things happens in body and brain on ShizoPills, depends which are you on.e.g. they lower AMPK so you feel tired and non capable to focus at all. Especially it's hippocampal AMPK which is critical in energy management.Note: You can get diabetes from consuming olanzapine.
>>16792794Just assume that you don't have any disease and keep living regularly until you find a contradiction but listen:>the experience or belief that random, unrelated events in the external world have significant, personal meaning or are directed specifically at oneself ISN'T A DISEASE>thinking unconventionally ISN'T A DISEASE>speaking unconventionally ISN'T A DISEASE>looking unconventional ISN'T A DISEASE >don't giving a fuck about midwits/feeling uncomfortable around them ISN'T A DISEASE >etcjust take it as a disease if you end up jailed otherwise it's just society trying to keep you shackled
>>16793976I am not sure because I have no frame of reference. The best guess I have is the worst one was hallucinating a completely different reality. While this happened I believe I was just standing still, physically.>>16794030The current pills are like tranquilizers. They make me always be somewhere between tired and exhausted and I sleep 12 hours a day now instead of 2-4.
>>16794166that's pretty severe ngl, same here :Dwell I can't tell you then because I really haven't faced that yet without the meds, one thing I know and can tell you is that you should stay away from drugs specially weed, for others just cocaine, but I figure there is a long listI believe, I don't know, that there is a path for us back to normal, but we need stable status surrounding us
>>16794166they're antipsychotics most likely, which also make u oversleep and overeat
I have the same problem, largely because I was motivated to understand the structure of what I was being fed to me by psychosis.There were some true realizations in there two, like points being zero dimensional and instants being zero seconds.I was also fed concepts like Minkowski space and accurate descriptions of manifolds and vectors, among other things, but as soon as the meds hit, the sensitivity and clarity of my thoughts waned and I became more preoccupied with drifting in a mind-numbing haze.You have to consider that psychiatry is still limited in its scope of understanding, and formulates assumption based on contrived senses of normalcy.Their overall reality model can still be seen as faulty, since I can claim, “Hey, I and multiple people have seen people shift into reptiles while on LSD,” and the content of their scrutiny usually consists of claiming these perceptions to still be hallucinatory, even when they rely on the same mechanism of consensus to assert their worldview as objective and correct.Schizophrenia may not even be a mental disorder, but a mental configuration that becomes disorderly when improperly maintained. They’re essentially jamming natural signaling processes that enables viewing events and objects from several dimensions.It’s awful. They rearrange medications until the desired effect is reached, even though we still have little idea how consciousness even operates other than its neural correlates.Why they don’t entertain the notion that these could be valid perceptions of unfamiliar territory is grouped up and improperly lumped in with genuine delusions that they fail to adequately differentiate due to the status quo of our current perceptual modeling schema.
Long story short, I now don't have right to handle money because I invested all money from my social security I got paid 3years back because I was diagnosed with shiz sooner than I applied for social security, I invested in crypto in 2019 and became meth addict, I don't have rights to handle money because I had zero Eur balance. Life sucks.Now I am in group home, and I can't refuse medication or use money up to certain amount. I am loosing hope it'll ever change. I even argumented with graph from coingecko... Also I got loan, because I didn't wanted to spend crypto...I can't find my key where I've got my wallet file. Life sucks. Forced olanzapine + flupentixol + antidepressants, and I'm slowly getting fat and diabetes.No change in sight. My first diagnosis was that I was delusional, that I'll make money from interwebz as teenager.
>>167941862 things1 (light schizo heaven)some country in north europe, they talk with you, until your psychosis diminishes2 (hard schizo heaven)in mongolian ancestral tradition, shamans are schizos, but they also follow ancestral training
>>16794201>My first diagnosis was that I was delusional, that I'll make money from interwebz as teenagerlawayer up
>>16794202*1.No meds involved, no bullshit2. drum induced trances
>>16794201>>16794203>lawayer upmaybe I overreacted but you are indeed getting fucked over, calmly trace a plan outside of there, so you can at the very least have financial independence they're being evil fucks with you 100%
>>16794204I like the second option so I can perfect my sexy rain dance.But could you elaborate more on how schizophrenics are treated in Northern European countries?
>>16794238>how schizophrenics are treated in Northern European countries?apparently some people specialized in it talk to them for some time in the hospital. I figure they're psychiatrists and maybe some other profiles thrown innow let's compare it to psychiatry from my country1. psychiatrist talks to you for 5 minutes the 2nd day you're already locked up in there2. you've been locked up for 3 days or so, a psychiatrist talks to you with a literal judge, that's you legal kidnapping, you're now kidnapped in a psychiatric legally4. once every week or so a psychiatrist gives you like 10 15 minutes if you're lucky, this point repeats for the period you're locked up, 3 weeks, 4 weeks, maybe 4 monthsfactualso I don't know what this shit is about but it is clearly not the same system, and this shouldn't be allowed, it's prison-lite
>>16794257>>16794238as in they talk to them for fucking hours iirc
>>16794257Yeah, that’s been my experience, too, and I’ve been cycling through the psychiatric institution for well over a decade now.My old therapist was helpful, though, but I imagine that much if it was structured insincerity to foster an environment of comfort.I’ve gotten more rewarding and helpful experiences from fellow schizos who, although may have differing worldviews, also went through the same extensive existential confusion that I have. There’s an honest social bond in that, which is something my experience of the American psychiatric system was found to be lacking.
>>16794287humanity is removed from the equation from their part
>>16794177Is there any way to counter the sleepiness? Caffeine does nothing. Sleep does nothing. After waking up, I want more sleep.
>>16794408>Is there any way to counter the sleepiness?in my case, I go to sleep around 10-11 pm, and I take them at 7 pm, that moves the sleepyness window to the night, off course the dose is also a factor>After waking up, I want more sleep.same despite what I told you, but it is an improvement over being even more sleepy during day time if you take them as you wake up
>>16794203I talked to lawyer, he stated that I need good info from forensic expert(not sure if I'm translating correctly)... Even judge told me that what doctor says it's important, and they totally ignored everything I said.I'm so afraid it will be like this forever... Because schizophrenia is untreatable illness, so I cannot get better to be given rights again...
>>16795122don't give up, you have your freedom to win, don't rush it, it might take some timeBased on what you just told me you don't need meds at all. You've just gotten fucked over.>he stated that I need good info from forensic expert(not sure if I'm translating correctly).this might be a way out, digg
>>16795131>>16795122maybe you can talk with different psychiatrists, and one might be on your side, this could be a plandon't focus on how evil the psychiatrist was (it was), focus on how you're a normal and capable person, if it was for the psychiatrists and the ecosystems surrounding it I'd be working some shitty underpaid job doing retarded shit, that is not the case
