Threadly reminder

>DO NOT GIVE ADVICE
>DO NOT FEED THE NURSOIDS
>DO NOT ENGAGE WITH PREMEDS
and most importantly
>DO NOT REPLY TO PSYCH POSTERS

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>POCUS but jack up the price 10 gazillion times bc it's wireless or however the GE CEO's bonus is determined

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I just sneezed which caused me to fart. Am I going to die?

>>16894783
>All U/S has vendor locked in subscription proprietary bullshit.
Fucking ass.>>16894784

I HATE CCS CASES
I HATE CCS CASES

Can you GPs (including VETs) just narrow down a case to at least SOMETHING at all? Every time I visit one of you cunts I get 'lol it could be anything! either I'll do nothing or we'll test for everything!' I could have come to that conclusion at home. Quit being fucking pussies and be decisive, otherwise I'm convinced you haven't a clue what you're doing.

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going to read on from chap. 3 of the MCAT prep book full complete collection. I hope I finish it by tonight!

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>>16895132
Ok, I'll bite. My qualifications are I'm a first year pathology resident studying for my 3rd boards. Can you please tell me what your chief concern is and history of present illness (describe pain, related symptoms, duration, things that affect your symptoms). It may be useful to know your past medical and surgical history too, including medications, supplements, and recreational drug use. I think that would be a good starting point. I'll probably also be letting you know that the differential is long too depending on what your chief concern is.

>>16895137
avatar nigger
ywnbad (you will never be a doctor)

>>16895167
8 posts in and we're already engaging with the psych patients
Off to a great start

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>>16895177
iwbad

>>16895188
I want to farm content. It's funny

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7e7L-yS8PA
>tfw listening to this on the morning commute for the past week straight

Any good commute songs y'all got recently

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continuing education in hawaii with most expenses paid by the practice i joined. when will you guys become optometrists and join me?

docs what do you make of this high I’ve been getting from staying awake for 3 or 4 days straight, is this bad long-term? I heard this can cause epilepsy though, is that legit?

>>16895329
>insomnia 4 the lolzies
Do normies rly?

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Propofol based anesthesia and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

>>16895553
>he isn't ether-maxxing in the year Anno Domini 1846+180
Behind the times lil bro, chloroform is unc tier now

>>16895292
I hate warm weather. Billions must shiver
>>16895329
6 7 syndrome

>>16895572
Good mentality until you live somewhere with zero infrastructure to handle it (read: Republican state)

>>16895167
I have a stomach ache

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nothing more satisfying than seeing a trash patient in ED and direct admitting them to medicine (AKA the dumpster)

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>>16895955
Every ED doc that gives me handover sounds like Nick Shirley in the Andrew Callaghan interview

>>16895980
Take the patient, chuddy, I've got an HBO series to star in

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i've got to do a literature review (yuck) as part of my degree and i'm quite annoyed.

I was thinking a review of the impact "baby talk" can have on elderly patients seeking out health services and the wider consequences this can have on their treatment ?

A interesting idea, yay or nay ?

>>16896064
House will always mog ER garbage like The Shitt

>>16896123
Waa waa fix the sodium, lab monkey

>>16896111
Sounds like nurse shit.

>>16896111
>I was thinking a review of the impact "baby talk" can have on elderly patients seeking out health services and the wider consequences this can have on their treatment ?
Aww, is da wittle wesearcher having twouble twinking up good ideas?

>>16895137
>the reggie avatarfag hasn’t taken the MCAT yet

>>16895572
i prefer it cold weather since it's easier to heat up than trying to cool down, but i dont like being cold.

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>>16894783
I know, no advice, but fuck it. I want to hear from people who actually are or were med students.
Fellas I'm fucking tired and so far it's been 5 years of my life I (seemingly) threw away for this career. I've spent a lot of money (not american or european) and so far I have now barely passed to second year. My country really prioritizes rote learning and while I fucked up many entrance exam attempts..afterwards dealing with anatomy and histology has left me absolutely disgusted at this. I dislike my "friends" and pity my teachers, and every doctor I shadow seems to be an empty, soulless NPC...and I'm becoming one of them too. I loved every second of being in the hospital, even in my shitty third world south american country, and I love the concept of taking care of people and healing them, but I'm fucking tired. I've recently started doing business and I've actually did very well, I'm just good at general trades and made in a couple of months 3 times what the average here does in that period of time. I don't read (out of the things I'm forced to), I barely exercise, I think about killing myself at least once a month, I don't have a girlfriend since I started and I don't really like my friends (95% of them being fellow rat med school fags like me)... I just generally hate my fucking life anons.
At this point I'm facing the facts, I bought into a sunk cost fallacy the last couple of years and now I'm 23 with very little to show for it...while if I had taken an easier path I would have probably been working a job already and amassed the significant amount of money I wasted in med school by doing the investments I've now started doing.
And yet I just want advice guys. Very deep inside I want someone to come through and tell me "nah fag, just keep pushing" coupled with some tearful speeches about the beauty of medicine. But realistically, maybe you guys have went through the same hell but pushed through and at the end it was worth it.

>>16896323
Woah. Is this what it's like to be non-Aryan?

>>16896323
If you consider medicine a hell to begin with, it's not for you. It's difficult and boring and oftentimes arbitrary/retarded, but it's never that bad

Nothing wrong with dropping out, you live one life

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>>16895167
>Can you please tell me what your chief concern
How about... a specific phobia of hypochondria presenting as Munchausen syndrome?
>t. wrote my whole team's group project for forensic psych

>>16895553
Forever a goated drug

Keep seething

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>>16896402
>"More milk please, Dr. Conrad! I said more mil-"
>ACK

Got a gastroscopy next week. First medical procedure I've had since getting my wisdom teeth out.

>>16896589
Have fun!

Who is better: dentists, or chiropractors?

>>16894783
I fucking love my medicine. Just had a steak and an omelet.

>Istanbul
>Delhi and the Himalayas
>Lima, Peru
>Oaxaca, Mexico
>Malawi
>South African microstates
Which do you guys think is the best choice for an away rotation? I speak English and Spanish pretty fluently for medical purposes

>>16896402
Le zogstein pharma post

>>16896796
Also
>Northeastern Brazil
I don't speak Portuguese, Turkish, Hindi, or any African local languages but am extremely willing to learn
This will be in summer

>>16896719
Dentists at least know enough medicine to know that they don't know medicine. Ch*ro""practor""s are prime Dunning Krueger.

>started taking a new multivitamin
>now my pee smells like a hospital bathroom
what's up with that?
is it the stuff they use as "filler" in some pills?

>>16896804
They learn a surprising amount about body medicine for being tooth people

>>16896323
fellow third worldie dont fall for the white man lies and push forward, you've been put in a position where you can help so many people in an already crumbling building.

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People like this are dangerous

>>16897063
You can never tell if these people are regular grifters or have severe untreated psychosis

>>16896323
Maybe you could try repurposing abstruse thirdie plants into anti-aging supplements; then you get to help people and make more money than being a doctor if you do it right. Or maybe poison people and go bankrupt if you really screw up bad.

>>16897063
People deserve to die if they take medical advice from "Sol Brah"

>>16897063
The only 'bacterial defense' system the body has is that commensal bacteria out compete potentially pathogenic bacteria normally. This guy is a fucking moron.

>>16897063
He's connected to those jewish nude bodybuilder gay idiots. Stay faaaar away from gay jewish nude bodybuilder faggot idiots.

What the fuck so does residency not qualify for PSLF anymore? We all get treated like we're doing a fucking HCA hospital based residency now? My finances were entirely based on doing PSLF from residency through fellowship and only having to work for 4 years post cardio fellowship at a hospital

>>16896799
If you're American, try Istanbul so you can see what it's like working in the EU. Turkey has invested a lot into its medical tourism industry so its hospitals genuinely aren't bad. I'm sure Dehli has some good hospitals too but other than that you're mostly doing an away rotation to humble yourself and realize how good you have it, which is fine and all but you would get more career leverage from being making the most of the opportunity and learning something that isn't just how terrible humanity can be to itself.

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>>16897163
The American and Canadian mind cannot comprehend affordable high quality Turkish healthcare
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTc44hODsr0/

>>16897171
i fucking hate turkroaches

>>16897171
>waited three months in Canada for healthcare
You North Americaners are fucking retarded. Why can't you fix your broken systems and join the rest of the world in the 21st century? You can do better than $5,00,000 A&E visits, getting euthanized by Père Trudeau or bleeding out in a mixed-use Mexican cartel clinic/fent lab.

>>16897200
>a&e
Fuck off Brit, don't lump us in with the Yanks and you especially don't get to lecture us with your joke of an NHS

>>16897163
I am actually interested in India's healthcare system though, they also have a huge medical tourism industry for Asia and Africa. More importantly I want to see the Himalayas, 2 out of the 4 weeks will be in a town in the mountains and/or a village with a local doctor

I want to do medical missions in Africa, Asia, and Latin America in the future

>>16897200
When I was in a pub <5 minutes by car from Oxford, it took the ambulance >30 minutes to show up after calling 999 for a witnessed down concerning for opioids + alcohol WITH WITNESSED HEAD TRAUMA (he hit his head on a pillar going down)
Then in clear violation of the NEXUS guidelines for imaging, they didn't even take him to the hospital for a head or spine CT after we spent the entire time keeping him stabilized. Instead they just made him sober up in the ambulance and drove away

Your healthcare system sucks ass, Nigel

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wow, blood capillaries have actual pores in them
I thought that blood vessels were just permeable because they just are

I know that progesterone causes blood vessels to become more permeable, so is that because it dilates blood vessels(?) it makes these pores larger?

wow, apparently your cells which binds matter destined for transportation in vesicles and then the cell runs out of being able to do that or something and then you get cancer or something, or cell apoptosis. what the cell is supposed to do, it runs out of, so basically you have cancer AIDS, and its because of parasites

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just learned how to beat cancer. give me 1 week with it

>>16897308
>>16897313
Avatarfags don't get into med school

wow, apparently the pupil is a hole in the iris and not just a black circle

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>>16897299
Europe's healthcare has fallen to third world standards and it wouldnt have happened if they hadn't cycled their own docs in favor of foreign physician associates and other """"allied""'" health professions that can't speak english

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/04/20/british-medical-graduates-losing-out-to-foreign-doctors/

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>>16897534
>He told the tribunal this could lead to 'unnecessary exposure', known as a radiation breach, which would risk patient safety by increasing their chance of developing cancer.

>Mr Pinto added that during the review Ms Johny showed 'no knowledge' about the X-ray machine and did not know what each of the buttons on it did.

>He then asked her to perform a foot X-ray, the 'most basic' procedure, and she could not do it. Ms Johny was apparently unaware how to position the foot or the machine correctly.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14498877/Female-Indian-radiographer-British-hospital-X-ray-foot-shed-claimed-23-years-experience-CV-fact-receptionist.html

Oops

>>16897534
>>16897538
Both of the paramedics were white and spoke English fluently. Stop pushing daily mail conservaslop to blame brown people for your healthcare system being fucking garbage

>>16897614
Herr Doktor, when were EMTs mentioned? Perhaps all those wasted years studying textbooks has rotted your brain.

>>16897630
You replied to my post about paramedics taking forever to show up with some slop about the heckin browns.

Paramedics (AMERICAN STOCK EMT-Ps) should replace nurses (YUCK) in the ED. I'm tired of female jabberin jaw-bonin and (((charge nursoids))). Actually. I'd rather some uneducated swine from the BRONX! Heck...... Give me biology students who fear my bulgey wulgey. ENOUGH OF THE PIT, HOUSE, GREY'S ANATOMY, AND OTHER SHIT (scrubs is good) REFERRNCES AND TIGHT BOOTY PANTS. LUSTSLUTS FUCK OFF!!!¡

>>16897749
Fucking B A S E D. I kneel KING!!!!! Nursoids with degrees

>wake up to a hospital wide email
>"we ran out of money for payroll but we got a line of credit from the county"
>"we're gonna make changes, expect minor leadership layoffs and belt tightening"
>CEO and CFO quit
>company credit cards got frozen today and our "health equity" officers are all on unpaid leave pending an audit
>feds are also launching an I9 audit of our hospital
I'm not getting paid next week am I

>>16897806
Time to look for a new job anon

Ever since Covid the percentage of patients that actually called me "Doctor" and were visibly paying attention when I'm talking to them instead of staring off into space thinking about what they're going to tell Grok or talk about with their "self-research" Facebook group (before AI) has gone down. I even had one bring in printouts of ChatGPT telling him he was right that his plantar fasciitis was the real cause of his shortness of breath because it "affected his gait" and that made him "breathe funny" because apparently if you do that long enough it will somehow change your breathing pattern permanently. Jesus I fucking hate my life.

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>>16897979
Wagie wagie get in cagie
Nursie nursie are getting hurtie

>>16897806
There are way too many hospital administrators. HR girlies and middle managers need to be left in 2025. Let's purge.

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The worst thing about OMM is that the time spent on OMM could have been spent on other things.

>>16898132
how else will useless people get their useless friends and families highpaying do-nothing jobs?

>>16898287
OMM is our way of teaching you to get better standardized exam scores because if you don't you don't end up paying a price that is exorbitantly more work than getting it right in the first place (going to a real medical school). Translate this to failing Step 2/Level 2 and going into a shitty residency program you hate or not taking the sexual harassment workplace training module and later having to argue your case in front of the state board of medicine

Why are DO programs so much more expensive than many MD programs?

>>16898437
They aren't connected to large hospitals so they need to fund themselves through higher tuition, it's the same model as caribbean schools except not for profit (outside of RVU). MD schools are funded through being attached to a larger institution like a hospital and/or university and would never break even on their own.

Half an inch of snow cancelled my step 2 exam and completely fucked my vacation plans AND ICU rotation
THANK YOU PROMETRIC FOR NOTHING

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ive tried for 20 years to IRL doctors. can one of you break your thread rule and help me like Dr. House from TV?

I can't hold a conversation. I run out of things to say to everyone even not nervous. I've met literal down syndrome people who are better at socializing than me. My mind is always blank inside. My IQ seems to have went from 130+ (tested in GATE) to 100 since I was 10 or so. I'm 36 now.

I have noticably way less to say than other people because I have nothing to say. I say this

"Hows it going?" then the conversation dies shortly after the reply

All I want to do is smoke cigarettes and game and complain about how my mind is not right.

I've told doctors this and they said I'm shy but I want to talk to people and don't get anxiety around people enough. I don't have things to say beyond saying everything I did since I last saw them and stuff I like. I can't make casual conversation

I cant explain this in person because I have to write it out. If i try to in person I can't remember it all and have nothing to say.

I've tried to get women from the internet for thousands of hours and failed every time except twice. One of those times I had to lie through my teeth to get her, and I was on meth.

Only on meth do I have things to say. I feel very very few emotions besides anxiety rage and embarrassment if any.

Is there any med fag who knows what's wrong with me? I thought I might be autistic or schizo but I don't know. I can't figure it out.

Ive tried to self diagnose or get help for my mind for 20 years no doctor has helped. Started at 16, I'm 36 now. They've given me anti psycotics anti depressants bipolar meds and anxiety meds and nothing has worked at all, besides Vyvanse until tolerance

Can anyone help me? when i write its all long winded and meth'd out. i dont do meth any more. somethings wrong with my brain doctors dont seem to care or know

hot female pic for your time and to get you to look at my post if you're a straight man

>>16898567
You have Autism and ADHD. Quit the street drugs and start taking meds and you'll be able to get control of your life. Consider social adjustment therapy for autism.
https://www.uclahealth.org/news/release/unlocking-romance-ucla-offers-dating-program-autistic-adults

The ICU nurse getting shot made me sad. What's the point of all this academic circlejerking if our mandate to provide assistance to those in need is in direct opposition to our own society?

>>16898567
Have you tried being urslef?

>>16898307
If I have one hospital administrator give me even a modestly difficult time, I'm quitting on the spot.

>>16896323
>(not american or european)
stopped reading here

>>16899133
There are still doctors in North Korea

what made you want to become a doctor?

>>16899405
https://youtu.be/FiHVKEElU4w

>>16899405
very aesthetic

SOTD fico di amalfi

>>16899405
Television shows and money. Also I want people (my parents too) to respect me. I'm insecure.

>>16899405
It seemed like a good idea at the time

>>16899614
Memes aside it really still is the best option careerwise. If things seem worse it's because the entire economy got worse and we just got dragged down with it. Unfortunately being the king of the shit pile still beats being the poor fucker at the bottom getting smothered, even if we're all still covered in shit.

>>16900040
Think about this a lot. Relative compensation is in the shitter but I can still afford a house, vacation once a year, car maintenance etc and I'm just a resident.

>>16900179
You can afford that on a resident's stipend? Are you not repaying your loans yet?

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If I take an antipsychotic, how likely am I to get tardive dyskinesia?

>>16900388
Better stay away from any platforms around the La Brea Tar Pits unless you're on Deutetrabenazine!
>https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/wps.20579

>>16900312
the entire PGY scale is above median household income in the USA. PGY-1 not by much, but from then on you are doing better than the average family let alone individual.

My wife’s PGY-4 EM and I’m a pilot. Right now I earn more than her, next year she will earn twice as much me while working half the hours. That’s the closest our pay will ever be again. And I’m in what people think is one of the highest paid professional jobs there is.

Doctor money is ludicrous. Pretty much any career track waits decades (if EVER!) to make what a post-residency MD makes right out of the gate. It’s just that most doctors spend like drunken sailors and borrow like they’ll never have to pay it back. And its only going to get higher with AI and technology making providers even bigger cash cows for hospitals.

I have heard this shit for eight years now from her peers. If being a doctor was so bad then why don’t think do something else? Oh right, its because everything else is at best like a 75% pay cut.

>>16897806
Steal from the workplace time hehe

>>16900468
As a pilot you will make more than her lifetime earnings if you continue flying commercial and don't upgrade from FO to Captain. You don't have the same debt or lost years of potential income so your profession is a smarter choice financially for acquiring the most money. People will trust robot surgeons quicker than they do pilotless planes.

>>16900447
>Tardive dyskinesia (TD) risk with D2/serotonin receptor antagonists or D2 receptor partial agonists (second-generation antipsychotics, SGAs) is considered significantly lower than with D2 antagonists (first-generation antipsychotics, FGAs).
>This meta-analysis confirms a clinically meaningfully lower TD risk with SGAs vs. FGAs
Well that's good news because I'm taking an SGA

I will ask my doc if changing my antidepressant might reduce anxiety, so I don't have to resort to an antipsychotic.

>>16900567
Not even remotely close. Doesn’t matter if I’m right seat or left. I will need to spend a decade on the seniority list to make what my wife makes right after residency. And I’m lucky enough to not even be metered at a regional airline.

MD’s make bonkers money. And we did it without debt because we had a plan.

>>16900874
hopefully she doesn't divorce you after finishing everything. i've seen it a few times where the woman finishes schooling and starts to go out into the workforce then divorces the guy who paid for everything lol.

>>16901002
Dating a career woman is retarded. Marriage with a career woman is doubly retarded.

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Not sure if it’s because I’m severely autistic or something but I’ve been lying to a group of people I know from high school and undergrad by telling them I’ve just been NEETmaxxing for the last 3 years and not in med school at all. Idk if it’s because like the thrill of being a “sleeper” or something but I’ve compulsively built this story to these people that I’m a washed-out loser

>>16901048
I actually do the same because I'm ashamed of how shit my school is.

>>16901048
i was always reluctant to tell people what i was doing with my life in case i fucked up optometry school, but now if anyone asks i tell them since i didnt turn out to be a complete failure.

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>>16901057
>>16901059
This is also another reason in case I fail out of school. I don't even have merchandise (shirts,etc) of my school in case that happens.

>>16901014
How many shifts does your average W2 ER doc do a month? Like twelve? It’s basically a part time job. EM is a warehouse for MD’s who want to work as little as possible and not be bothered on their off time. Not really the province of the career minded…though going to a 4 year residency is going to make it a huge slog for people with young families.

>>16901235
I know an ER doc who exclusively does Locums for remote hospitals and makes $410k/yr doing 6-8 shifts/month. If they want an extra vacation he just picks up 1-2 more shifts.

>>16901241
And there’s plenty of psychotics who only want to work nights making it so some of these ER docs only work like 10 nights over an entire year.

Yeah yeah yeah be careful paying for your spouses medical school because it won’t count for as much as you think when they are out the other end earning twice as much as you. That’s fair advice. but ER docs as a “career woman”? I’m literally lmao’ing at the thought.

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>>16900874
Don't fall for the income myth, I would rather be a pilot and travel all over the world and fly planes as a job than be stuck in a rural hospital seeing the worst of humanity and losing my own to the point that I have no normal experiences to talk about with normal people and start to disconnect

>>16901014
I can tell you aren't a physician from miles away. It's so obvious. You've completely outed yourself. You've said something that reveals a glaring lack of knowledge that 99% of physicians know and practice and it's not just my opinion but the literal reality of physicians' personal lives.

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>>16896323
most healthcare is a thankless, gross and stressful job and you will meet some of the most horrible cunts ever (most of them being other medical workers who are the most psychopathic people ever).
at the same time you will meet very kind people who you want to help and remind you of your grandpa or whatever and the satisfaction of helping them reminds you why you care enough to keep doing it.
one of my lecturer's had a picture of a kid on his laptop and eventually told us that he saved their life when they went into respiratory failure as a baby.
the baby's parents cared enough to send him a picture and thank you note 5 years down the line of him happy and in completely normal health.
there aren't going to be many other jobs like that where you can actually see the difference you can make.
even if stuff like that is 0.01% of your workload.

>>16901256
i dont get it. i see retards every day and it hasn't changed how i view 'humanity' lol. the only thing it did was reinforce my viewpoints.
i like how the chart stops when doctors finally get out to practice for realsies they make a ton of money (a shit ton depending on your specialty), and they also don't blow out their joints and live with chronic pain for the rest of their lives.

>>16901424
It seems so many physicians do not truly understand what their role is. WE are the pillars that hold human society up, the mortar in the crumbling brickwork of civilization. Nature is no benevolent "mother." She is a cold, heartless bitch designed to grind us into dust and decay and WE are the only ones arrogant enough to stand in her way. Without healers, the world would fall apart very quickly. The chaos of the wild would reclaim our cities and our bodies within a generation.
Remember that your job is thankless, BUT that you are the inheritor of a greater duty that has been passed down on high from Hippocrates, from generation to generation. YOU are part of an ancient, silent fraternity that has looked into that pitch black abyss of mortality and refused to blink. We are monks of medicine and our lot in life is humble, but the magnitude of our impact is the greatest of them all. We are the mechanics of the soul, and one cannot keep themselves and their consciences clean when they are elbow-deep in the gore of existence to tighten the screws of life just to buy humanity one more stolen uncertain breath. Tell me, WHO else holds such command over life and death? WHO fights against the whims of an uncaring universe to make man suffer? Every heartbeat is a battle won against the probability of entropy. Every moment is a Promethean theft from those forces. We have conquered polio and measles, and found ways to extend our lifespan far beyond what could have occurred in nature. We have looked at the expiration dates stamped on our DNA by evolution and WE rewrote them with our own fucking ink. And WE will keep moving forward, and changing the world to be better, making progress seemingly in spite of the entropy that wants us all dead. Let the universe hurl its storms and its plagues because we will build our levees higher. THAT is what it means to be a physician: to look at tha inevitable sunset of humanity and dare to light a candle that refuses to go out.

>>16900388
I have never seen TD, and I frequently prescribe olanzapine, sometimes in combination with metoclopramide.

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>>16901775
I see. Hopefully I won't get TD.

I do get another problem when I have an antipsychotic: oculogyric crisis. Pic related. It means your eyes look upwards because it makes your eye muscles spasm. When I get it, it usually lasts a few minutes, then gradually goes away. Also I've noticed that physical activity usually brings it on (while taking an antipsychotic) for some reason. Because it does go away, it's not a huge problem, but it is annoying.
>Oculogyric Crisis (OGC) is a rare, acute dystonic reaction involving the extraocular muscles. OGC is most commonly described as the involuntary upward deviation of both eyes due to spasms and increased tone in the extraocular muscles. Episodes typically last minutes and may occur in conjunction with other dystonic symptoms[1].
https://eyewiki.org/Oculogyric_Crisis

>>16901257
>T. Feminist
Lmao go change your diaper big boy.

Step 2 fucked me in the ass big time
Metaphorically I mean

>>16901997
Score? Or just vibes after you took it?

>>16902047
Vibes, just took it yesterday

>>16902060
Everybody who takes step 2 feels the same way.

I felt like step 2 blew my asshole out and got a 262 so dont stress it. Trust your study, nothing to do about it now.

>>16902062
I guess so, I feel like my brain went totally blank on huge parts of the exam

I'm a DO so I don't have to take STEP :^)

I'm an OD so I don't have to take STEP :^)

>>16895553
unironically why?

I got accepted oos to Wisconsin (not MCW). I was shocked when I got the interview, shocked when I got accepted.

My in-state school is ass, I’ve gotten into a fair number of pretty prestigious privates but I dont really know how to weigh Wisconsin vs. them. Is it like in the Michigan/Washington realm or more like middle tier with schools like Vermont or whatever. The rankings are not giving me much clarity.

>>16902731
who cares about ranking, just do good in school

>>16896323
Maybe you're confusing having professional boundaries as being a souless NPC. I normie mask to everyone around me except a couple of very close friends at work behind closed doors. I also try to disconnect after work and not talk or think about it. I think you need hobbies or a life outside the hospital, which is easier said than done depending on your circumstances.

>>16902754
I get afraid when I accidentally show my power level.
>Charlie died waahh
>>You know politics and television are all a show to distract you from important things right?
>What?
>>*Achem* did you see the new sportsball or The Pit™?
>*Normie noises*

So I have a theory that a fair amount of adult Acne is caused by blood clots travelling the body and landing in skin capillaries and being extruded through the skin in pores and follicles and wherever else they can be released.

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>>16903131
>The Pitt
This shit is so fucking gay. Who the hell is watching it? People at my school keep talking about it.

does someone here want to be my preceptor
please that would be so cool

I wish they would finally update the CPR to be "I Would Die 4 U" by Prince, instead of "Staying Alive" by The Bee-Gees. Everyone knows that song is the closest beat that imitates the subtle nature of the living heartbeat.

>>16899411
LMAO "chicks"???
oh to be a doctor in the hay day of medicine.
i will be an eternal incel even if i am a medical director at hopkins

>>16903204
I bet you are a fakecel.

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>doctor keeps referring to COWs as BBCs (big black computers)
>smirks when doing it enough that it probably isn't an innocent coincidence or that he's jokingly referring to the news corp
>can't tell him to cut that shit out without revealing my power level

>>16903189
Music chads rise up.
>Not quite my tempo
>Throws chair
>DO BETTER CPR
Honestly you can get a metronome app on your phone that takes 2 seconds to click.

Okay, med. Since you're all smart, you should be able to answer this simple question. Why do I feel sad all the time?

>>16903189
Sorry we do CPR to Golden by Huntrix now.

>>16903438
because you aren't a millionaire with a hot wife that loves you and does everything you ask no exceptions and you dont have any loving kids for you to pass on your genetics.
next question

>>16903577
>Golden by Huntrix
I keep getting recommended to watch KPop Demon Hunters. Should I watch it?

>>16903641
Its a fun movie, the music is good too.

>>16902731
Middle tier, but iirc y'all have strong matches to Midwest schools like Michigan and Northwestern. What do you want to go into?
>>16903182
I like it except for the fact that ED docs are going to have their massive undeserved egos inflated even further since there isn't a single consulting team (or even medicine) that shows up except for one neurologist in s1 who solely exists to make shitty puns
ED docs just magically do everything themselves in a big city academic hospital

>>16903189
I do my resuscitation to Ocean Man by Ween

>>16903438
Because you've forsaken your biological imperative to procreate and then to protect your resulting offspring

>>16896323
transfer to an adjanct but more technical field like mrt operator

Has anyone here had any positive experiences with homeopathy?

Looking to do it for allergies because I am literally allergic to everything here (as confirmed by allergy tests); allergy medicine doesn't help and every type of allergy "therapy" is too expensive and too long of a time commitment.

>>16896805
Some of the stuff in vitamins are water soluble meaning you urinate out the excess.

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I've been hearing that Step is moving away from buzzwords. Is this true? Buzzwords have been my backbone...

>>16901977
No, dumbass, most dudes in medicine marry female docs or female lawyers, and the divorce rate for two doctors is the lowest in the country at under 10% when for two normal people getting married the divorce rate is 50%. That's how I know you aren't one of us because this is common knowledge.

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>>16904685

>>16903186
Pass 3/5. Could've shown more initiative.

>>16903438
Your psychology evolved for you to live on the plains hunting and gathering but instead you live in an artificial environment where you must do work that doesn't directly contribute to your own survival but is designed in such a way where you must do it to survive without your primitive lizard brain comprehending that you are still directly fighting to live in the same way it would if you were running away from a lion, so it makes you feel like you aren't actually doing something meaningful with your life.

>>16904685
its so low for doctors because the couple usualy spends 3 or 4 vacations in tropical resorts enjoying hookers and bulls for free, all payed for by the pharma industry because mr. and mrs. doctor prescriped 1 metric ton of xanax in half a year. doctor couples are usually sedated af so they can stomach their marriage partner

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I LOVE ICUUUUUUUUUU
>gets hit with 2 hours of "radiology rounds" followed by 4 hours of fluid rounds

>>16904685
People divorce (a condemned protestant invention) because people don't even know what marriage is, let alone know how to suffer well. People with money have less stress, and the professional spouses never see each other. It's still unnatural for women to work. Also women in lower income populations will divorce rape people whereas rich people get prenuptial agreements which disincentives divorce. Qualitative knowledge > quantitative knowledge. Any doc today would prefer a 16 year old virgin woman over their 25-30 year old feminism infested woman with a Route 66 length of penis riding. History tells greater truths than surveys. I hope you don't have regular patient contact.
>>16904691
Evolution also selected for religion and young, uneducated wives. Everyone loves Darwin until we cover those topics. And IQ

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I imagine that I'll marry an abrasive, domineering woman who loves me dearly deep down :)

i imagine i'll hug a cute girl, but it never happens

>>16905184
As the posts after yours demonstrate, most docs nowadays actually want dommy mommies who are our age or slightly older

Sorry to disappoint your social darwinist cope

all these boomers who have a problem with DOs should be forced to only see NPs for all of their care.

>>16905235
DOs are better than NPs but worse than real physicians. Neither should be practicing independently without MD guidance and supervision

>>16905229
>>16905244
At which age were you molested?. Though DOs should just do step and not comlex. Comlex does have a cooler sounding test name.

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>>16905229
>most docs nowadays actually want dommy mommies who are our age or slightly older
Yes, please.

>>16905244
yeah you should just KYS

MD? How about you MDeez NUTS

This joke brought to you by the post-match MS4 cabal, from the resident lounge that always stocks diet sodas.

DOs are the troons of M(edical)D(octors)

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>>16905229
>most docs nowadays actually want dommy mommies who are our age or slightly older
I like tsunderes. I love them so much that I used to draw anime on campus after studying.

Song related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usuMl5yb4dQ

>>16905250
Based knower
>>16905782
https://youtu.be/fjyc9XTtC2Q
Thought you would have linked this song

>>16905782
I'm glad I live in the current age where my phablet lets me draw anime immediately outside the OR. Did anyone ever ask you why you had a drawing tablet?

>>16905782
What's that candy wrapper next to the bag? I have a real bad oral fixation I gotta occupy and I can't get started on that nicotine pouch shit every Zoomer and Zoomette seem to be using now

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>>16906018
>I'm glad I live in the current age where my phablet lets me draw anime immediately outside the OR.
That's awesome. If you feel comfortable enough, could you share some of your work?

>Did anyone ever ask you why you had a drawing tablet?
Some people have asked and I just tell them I draw sometimes. I don't draw when there are people around though. Anyways, I bring my drawing tablet with me to school because it sort of forces me to practice drawing. After I study, my brain is fried and I know that if I go home, I'm just going to scroll through my phone.

>What's that candy wrapper next to the bag? I have a real bad oral fixation I gotta occupy and I can't get started on that nicotine pouch shit every Zoomer and Zoomette seem to be using now
It's a lollipop wrapper and inside the plastic bag are more lollipops. I have an oral fixation too and I chew on the sticks throughout the day.

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>>16894783
A man walks into a surgeon’s office and says:
“Doctor, my balls have turned purple…”
“Show me.”
The doctor examines them and says:
“Hmm, yeah, we’re going to have to amputate…”
“No way, doctor! Come on! My wife will kick me out of the house, I won’t even be able to go to the bathhouse, the guys will laugh their heads off… No, I’m not agreeing to that!”
“Then there’s nothing I can do. Go see someone else.”
The same thing happens at the second surgeon, then the third…
Utterly dejected, the man pokes his head into an office with a sign that reads “INTERNIST.”
“Doctor, my balls have turned blue…”
“Let me see…”
“You know, I already went to surgeons, they all say it has to be cut off…”
“Ugh, those surgeons, all they ever want to do is cut. Here, take this little pill.”
The man swallows the pill.
“Doctor, what now?!”
“Now just stomp your foot hard, they’ll fall off by themselves!”

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>>16906070
>It's a lollipop wrapper and inside the plastic bag are more lollipops. I have an oral fixation too and I chew on the sticks throughout the day.
t.

>>16906217
If you took a drug that could make your balls fall off, since it's absorbed systematically and can't be targeted at all what body part is more likely to get fucked over first before it hits your scrotum?

>>16906263
It would cross the blood brain barrier and do the equivalent to your gay matter

I imagine I’ll marry a fresh out of high school girl.

>>16906263
Premed pseud, the pill is morphine and the scrotum has already succumbed to dry gangrene from ischemic necrosis

Fuck doctor mike. Who is the /med/ version of doctor mike?

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>simulation
>patient has catastrophic haemorrhage
>suspected internal bleeding but not confirmed, clear abdominal distension, fluid therapy not effective, systolic pressure still below 85
>suggest that even though it's contraindicated you may as well use a bolus of TXA since it's an argument of letting them die immediately from hypovolemic shock or MAYBE killing them with a embolism or stroke 1/2 days after
>get laughed at by cohort, "silly anon, don't you know its contraindicated in such conditions"
>emergency practitioner of 20 years supervising pipes up and says "actually, i'd probably do that to"
>tfw
get fucking owned you sheep, stick to your text-book medicine and not actually using your brain on a individual basis, fucking suck my ass bitches.
I AM VINDICATED AS FUCK RIGHT NOW.

>>16907147
Most people don't belong in medicine.

>>16907147
TXA hasn’t shown definitive evidence. It doesn’t lower the transfusion or mortality chances. On paper sure it looks like you exhausted your resources but if the bleeding is putting the livelihood at risk then the management is surgical. If there ain’t OR available then stop cristaloids and begin hemoderivates.

ED physicians are glorified secretaries and you are marginally not retarded.

>>16907446
Paper eating jawboner. I should punch your mouth

>>16907370
I belong in medicine. I'm super smart and handsome.

>>16907452
Mom ratings don't count chuddie

>>16907448
>my ed daddy retard says i wus a good boi
Sorry if I hurt your feefees but that’s the truth of the matter. Next time try not to be a retard. If you can’t avoid being a retard at least don’t evidence yourself in a swahilian shoegaze forum.

>>16907446
added context would be that the setting was out of hospital and neither blood or a supppement was available for transfusion.
you were literally responding to a accident alongside EMS and only had access to a limited amount of resources.
regarding:
>TXA hasn’t shown definitive evidence. It doesn’t lower the transfusion or mortality chances.
it absolutely DOES lower mortality from bleeds by up to 30% IF administered within the first 3 hours of it beginning.
i did the best i could and it felt good to actually be backed for once on a decision that looks stupid on paper but ia basically the only thing you could really do in that moment.

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>>16907491
>it absolutely DOES lower mortality from bleeds by up to 30% IF administered within the first 3 hours of it beginning.

This is the CRASH 2 table of results. It disagrees with your statement. This is supposedly the greatest most biggest piece of evidence that advocates for the use of trannyxamic acid as a life savior, yet more people died of severe head trauma rather than bleeding. Maybe those retards shoulda have given a proper neurocritical care instead of wasting their time with their +1.5% survival chance miracle drug.

>never cared for emergency med during school because i figured i'd hate it
>never had an EM rotation but didn't care because i figured i'd hate it
>now in residency on EM rotation
>actually love it
fuck

>>16907504
>doing this entire song and dance about life saving TXA for a 9% RRR
Grimmerino

Intubating your mom with my penis
Call it a Mallampati 1

>>16907504
listen you stupid nigger.
you are literally missing the crux of my entire argument.
TXA IS NOT A IDEAL DRUG TO GIVE, IN FACT IF WE WERE IN A NICE HOSPITAL WITH LOTS OF RESOURCES AND TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS YES I WOULDN'T RECCOMMEND IT AT ALL BUT WHEN ITS LITERALLY THAT OR NOTHING AT ALL YOU MAY AS WELL GO FULL GUNS BLAZING AND MAAAAAAYYYBBBBEEE SAVE SOMEONE WHO IS BLEEDING HEAVILY.
GOD, HOW IS THAT SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.

>>16907534
Or you can just do a field exlap and do a peritoneal lavage to identify the source of bleeding and embolize it

>>16907516
Lol

Lmao

that's what you get for dismissing the funnest place in the hospital

That being said, what's your residency in? Some hospitals staff their ER with FM, IM docs etc, since there aren't enough EM docs in the area. Its less than ideal, and you won't get as much of the fun stuff like traumas and med level 1s, but they'll still slip through.

>>16907540
it would make no difference even if i identified where the bleed came from specifically.
I literally don't care, all i know is that they are bleeding internally and I only really have one thing in that moment that may help.
to think about the complications that may arise after and choose not to give it is putting the cart before the horse, which was what I was expressing to my cohort who thought i was a retard for acting as such.

>>16907558
They thought right. You're retarded.

>>16907562
at least im not a bitch

>>16907563
You're a babyback bitch + nigger. You're right.

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>>16907566
>he doesnt know being melanated is contraindicated for having the cognitive capacity to use a computer
yet you call me retarded.

um, i think that internally bleeding patient just needs some new glasses and maybe contacts.

>>16907534
Can you run us through the clinical vignette instead of having this shitty argument with the other guy

>>16907147
I would do the same to be fair
Evaluate ABCDE, if no other system at risk then ideally hes got 2 large bore IVs, warm saline until hemoderivates available, NAD drip ready just in case, TXA, keep permissive hypotension and run like fuck to the nearest hospital

Running like fuck is the most important part of the whole ordeal

>>16907540
That is the stupidest thing i have read in a med thread and the bar was quite high

genuinely what makes someone a physician?
i feel like we're 10 years away from some stating passing legislation to define a PA or NP as physician
like i would count a podiatrist as a physician before i considered an NP as one

>>16907787
>What makes someone a physician?

Medical doctor trained in white-man medicine, and nothing but.

Thanks for baking.

What medicine can I use so my joints pop easier? They hurt so much and now that I'm getting older, I can't get them to pop. Just almost which makes them ache even more.

>>16907791
so no DOs?

>>16907796
A White man invented OMM.

>>16907786
>That is the stupidest thing i have read in a med thread
Real manly medicine is dead thanks to pussies like you, we need to return to ether and field guillotine amputations

>>16907798
but they're not medical doctors

>>16907787
getting a degree and passing whatever state boards are required, so that you can legally call yourself a physician without getting sued.

>>16907805
>getting a degree and passing whatever state boards are required, so that you can legally call yourself a physician without getting sued.
Disregarding the degree, what happens if an NP or whatever can pass boards?

The general surgeons in my hospital decided a patient needed a subclavian cvc and for some reason (retardation) decided to do It themselves.
Here are the results:
- Surgeons trying: At least 3 possibly 4 (2 of them residents)
- Attempts: I counted 11 holes
- Catheters placed: 0
- Neumothorax: 1
- Remorse: None
- Apologies to the patient: None
- Excuses: Many

For real fuck general surgeons man

>>16907808
>what happens if an NP or whatever can pass boards?
They probably could given the current pass mark if they studied for many months, which is why the passing standard needs to be brought up higher and the exam needs to go pass fail.

At the same time, CRNAs are the only ancillary healthcare professionals I've met who have any interest in learning the basic science and reasoning for clinical decisions besides the bare basics
>>16907810
Was this the SICU team, the OR, or did they try to place a CVC on the floor/ER?

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>>16907810
>scalpel chimp fails CVC attempt
>next scalpel chimp goes: "look at that bum, good thing I'm built different"
>proceeds le neumothorax
>exit the premise
>refuse to elaborate

So. As I was saying, git yourself a portable ultrasound and learn to cannulate yugular veins.

>>16907834
One thing I am envious about them is how confident they can seem even when they're horribly fucking up. It makes patients idolize surgery and inflates surgeon egos even higher despite my trust for them going down even more

>>16907810
god what a meme
makes me feel much better about my comparatively tiny fuck ups

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I want to ask a question but I'm worried people will bully me or think I'm trolling. What do

>>16907883
it's an anonymous board retard

>>16907883
You just asked a question and you are trolling. You can't get passed us clever medfags (ok I"m not actually med but I've read a wiki page this one time)

>>16907810
>Neumothorax

I am done with this board. Bunch of nobodies on here. I thought this was a departure of the typical /pol/ and /b/-tier bullshit but it's a collection of wannabes, turd worlders, and posers who can't even correctly spell medical terminology.

>>16907824
Their floor, needed parenteral i believe.

>>16907956
Forgot a P in one of the 4 languages i speak efluently, dont be a faggot :^)

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>>16907956
>New-moe-thor-axe
Ecks-dee, he's probably one of those PCPs O.D.ing on Zan-ecks or Phen-ten-ill.

Any tips for ICU workflow? With just two pt's on my list (student), I was getting drowned in info every morning and having trouble keeping track of it. Scared for intern year and beyond. I love the energy of the ICU though

>>16908041
The ICU sucks major dick and i sincerely hope to never step inside one once im done with my residency. That being said:

Be early and read your two patients beforehand. You will be overwhelmed and you are not expected to know everything, but understand the main problems down to the pathophysiology. Study nigga.

Understand the basic physiology of things, specially circulation and breathing. You need to have clear concepts of what the determinants of arterial tension and oxigen delivery are. This will allow you to understand and manage shock and HF on their many presentations. Employ precise definitions, dont be a dummy. Say I dont know and ask questions. Write down the anwers even if you never read It again, makes people want to teach u more.
Dont go insane trying to understand "organic support" techiques (CRRT, MV, ECMO, etc). Now is not the moment. Know their gross function and their indication, thats It.

Ask residents to let you "help" in techiques. Understand Seldingers procedure and basic anatomy of yugular, subclavian and femoral access. Eventually ask them to let u do somethig with supervision, i usually allow the motivated students to cannulate a radial artery or somethig.

Read about airway management.
Try to learn basic echocardiography, it is extremely useful and retards consider It some kind of arcane magic.

Or just coast through the whole thing, nobody cares but you really.

I enjoy derangedphysiology and the internet book of critical care. If u want a book the irwin & rippe is the one i like, but there are more.

>>16908041
Seconding
>>16908090

Very good advice if you want to crush your ICU rotation, which is how you should approach every rotation because you only get a few chances to rotate on a service before you're an intern and the pressure is real.

As a student, the most basic thing you can do to show you give a shit is to know your patient's story, from ED to the day you see them. Know why they presented, know what procedures they've had, look at the imaging yourself and do your best to understand the radiologist read. Talk to the overnight nurse and ask about any events, they should tell you what you already know if you've chart checked well enough. Know what PRN meds theyve needed and know if their pain requirements are increasing or decreasing. Another way you can shine is to know their home meds and know when a reasonable time to restart them might be. The goal is to downgrade or discharge as soon as it's appropriate, try to ask yourself "why are they in the ICU, and do they still need to be here?" Is it a nursing requirement i.e. q1h neuro checks, or is it pressor requirements etc.

Basic thoughts: if theyre getting nutrition, consider a bowel regimen. If they're not getting nutrition, they need lifesaving famotidine. If they havent pooped in a few days, consider an enema (you dont want sepsis to turn into acute abdomen because they develop toxic megacolon from constipation, especially in your sedated patients or patients on heavy opioid regimen). Consider whether you need to keep getting daily labs. If theyre doing incentive spirometry make them do it in front of you and educate them on how to use it, a lot of nurses dont bother and the patient is doing it wrong. If a patient isnt ambulatory (and even if they are), consider putting incentive spirometry. Check the telemetry in the morning for any overnight alarms and do your best to interpret -its okay to be wrong, but show that you care and are trying.

1/2

>>16908167

2/2

>>16908041
Also almost everyone needs DVT prophylaxis, chemical or mechanical.

Last, but not least, one of the most important daily questions in intensive care is "What is the volume status?" Know their I/O, report if they're had a BM, and know the clinical signs of volume overload or hypovolemia.

You will fuck up, you will look stupid at least once, that's okay. Just don't make the same mistake twice.

There are a million ways to skin this pig. Break it down into systems, give yourself enough time in the morning to do everything.

Any real few /med/s, I'll see you on LiberaChat ##medicine IRC. Put it in the OP too.

>>16907796
>>16907801
Doctor of Osteopathic medicine is MORE WHITE than JEWISH Talmudic Allopathic Medicine.
Osteopathy is ancestral, spiritually European, and allopathy is spiritually Talmudic.
>>16907801
ok so you are just retarded

Patient lit a cheeky ciggy in the ICU box
Fucking gypsies lmao god bless their heart
Feel u bro, nicotine patches just dont hit the same

>>16908533
>nicotine patches
If I put on nicotine pouches before an exam would I perform better?

>>16908536
We use transdermal patches not zyns or whatever for cravings.

To answer you: Maybe yes, probably not in any significant measure. Study harder you bum

>>16908540
>Maybe yes, probably not in any significant measure. Study harder you bum
I score above average on exams though.

>>16906263
>since it's absorbed systematically and can't be targeted
It's targeted anti balls monoclonal antibodies.

>>16908533
Based infrahuman egyptian. Us smokers are the most vulnerable minority. Non smoking areas are the concentration camps of the century.

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Hypothetically, if i were bringing you a patient with very VERY high likelihood of sepsis, what information would you want on handover ?
so far I've noted:
>Reflex tachycardia due to sustained hypotension
>Hyperventilavtion and possible alkalosis due to no improvement on supplemental oxygen
>known prescription of trimethoprim
>greatly exagerrated hyperglyceamia
>ill for several days prior
like clearly it's a super clear case of sepsis, but i can't think if there would be anything else relevant to include.
"EKG monitor them for potential cardiac arrest you retards, duh, you are meant to be a doctor"
isn't exactly professional.

>>16908895
what's your most likely source? source control?
what antibiotics have you started?
are they fluid responsive? lactate?
etc.

also why are you recommending tele/ecg monitoring?

>>16908895
I want the bare minimum, 4 simple things done in the first hour:
- Adequate resuscitation and evaluation of response.
- Adequate empiric abx
- Adequate cultures
- Adequate ID of source, or at least a good attempt

That is the cornerstone of the initial management of sepsis, and should be your focus. I rather read everything else from the story to be honest, its faster. If u evaluate multiorgan failure adequately and have initial gases w/ lactate then i come and kiss you tenderly on the lips no homo

>interviewer asks why I want to be a doctor
Do you think they'd let me in if I said because I watched The Pitt?

>>16909210
You want to say it's because of Grey's Anatomy instead.

>>16909250
Ah shit all I remember about that show was the black doctor performing surgery on chickens

>>16909265
>Ah shit all I remember about that show was the black doctor performing surgery on chickens
I can't tell if you're joking or not because I haven't seen the show but I've heard a bunch of crazy shit happens.

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>>16909286

case study (it was me)
>young fit handsome tall male
>sequential central scotoma
>1 month between eyes
>progressively worse
>mild eye pain on movement for brief period
>fatigue attacks
>tingles feet
>headache
your diagnosis? (without using bing)

>>16909337
Sequelae of getting framemogged by an ASU frat leader while jestermaxxing due to high cortisol

>about to finish PM&R residency
>still a virgil due to micropenis
I should've done surgery or psychiatry

>>16909006
>also why are you recommending tele/ecg monitoring?
if the patient is hypotensive with tachycardia and a prolonged CRT it points to circulatory failure and you want to keep an eye put for cardiac failure, they are really sick.
>>16909196
noted, thank you bby

>>16909337
my diagnosis: refer to someone else, not my problem.

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i'm turning 30 and i feel like my hairline is creeping somewhat. i was looking into taking finasteride but there are these reports of permanent side effects, like reduced libido and erectile dysfunction and such.
i kind of think that's horseshit. am i just coping? like, it's a drug that inhibits conversion of testosterone to DHT. you quit taking the drug and your DHT goes back to normal. what mechanism would there be to permanently fuck up anything? it seems more likely that people who are worried about balding are older men who take the drug at a time when their dicks are on the way out anyway, and they just correlate the two. is it the finasteride or is it just that you're not 20 years old any more?

if anything you'd think people using steroids and such, shutting down their testosterone production-- you'd figure there'd be fuckloads of people saying how they permanently broke their sex drive.

>>16909547
>>16909387
im already diagnosed retard, it is just a fun game... oh ye bitter cunts. kill yourselves really.

>>16909745
im just making a little joke, friend lol

Is there any way to tell the difference between a hernia and if I'm dying of something more?
I don't like going to the doctor and terrified of thinking of poor health/mortality

>>16909793
I am not a doctor this is not medical advice: when I had something sticking out of me it didnt go away until I went to the doctor. Do with this information as you will.

>>16909816
I can't see anything sticking out of my belly. I'm not fat either so it's not like I'm just too fat to see it. I think I could feel a small bump maybe but it could be something else. I don't know. I'm afraid.

>>16905822
I randomly just remembered that Maroon 5's, This Love, was in the movie, White Chicks. It also kind of fits the tsundere motif.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpTgCho5ZA

>>16909823
literally just go to the doctor you fucking retard.
no one is going to diagnose you accurately over the internet on a mongolian salt mining image-board.

>>16909745
Ay we just breaking balls ovah here

controversial opinion but i'm just gonna say it you know: DOCTORS SHOULD GET PAID MORE THAN CELEBRITIES, THEY'RE BASICALLY ANGELS AND DAT IS GUD.
*cups hand under anus and flings shit at the wall*

I have one day to come up with an idea for a small grant, of course the coordinator cannot provide me with any fucking idea

>>16909743
taking alfa reductase inhibitors also messes with neurosteroids, most dermatologists are beauticians with no sense of details for these things
if you want to save your hairline the only cure is becoming a tranny after taking estrogen. There was this rheumathoid artritis medication in the 80s that cured it but the drug got discontinued because it caused cholestasis in old people

>>16909337
something something pituitary adenoma

>>16908895
what this guy said
possible alkalosis? do a blood arterial gas to rule out diabetic ketoacidosis besides what the other guy said

>>16908533
I got in a shouting match with a gypsie last time the nurses had to break us a part
another rude gypsie that wanted a ciggy i gave him incomplete treatment just to get rid of him

>>16907147
i would laugh too, thinking that TXA can stop relevant internal bleeding.
the case is meme shit as hell anyway, either look for GI bleeding or do an abdominal ultrasound and check for aortic dissection

>>16909776
I think that’s enough of your jokes.

>>16910053
>pituitary adenoma
probably be more bitemporal VF defect, but tumors can do funny things. it's MS i bet :^), but i'd refer it out since it's not my problem

>261 step 2
>T30 US med school
>Great MSPE comments, all about my work ethic and knowledge for my level
>Probably going to have great LORs from anesthesia, crit care, and internal medicine rotations
>10 research items, 2 pubs, 1 first author by ERAS time
How competitive am I for matching out of state from my Middle America shithole to a coastal academic anesthesia program in a nice city? Currently planning on preffing my home region, North Atlantic and South Atlantic geographically. Am I competitive for California? My eventual goal is either crit care, peds, or general. Dream cities would be like NYC, Philly, Pittsburgh, LA, Miami, Portland, Seattle (I am single and want to find a wife basically)

Do hot young nurses owe me sex?

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>>16894783

Is an MBBS a waste of time? I'm from Canada and want to do the degree at the University of Cape Town.

Everyone tells me this is absolutely retarded. What do I do?

>>16910860
>portland
i sure hope you don't mean portland, oregon lmao. that place is a hellscape and should be avoided at all costs.

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I apparently stumped /fit/ with a description of a mystery rash I got once, so figured I'd post here...
>parafollicular hyperkeratosis with keratotic spicules, improves from sunlight, corticosteroids, and retinoids.
It wasn't Darrier's or Lupus or mycosis fungoides. No culture growth, but lymphocyte infiltration. Never fit a recognized disease myself or a provider could identify.

>>16910878
Why the fuck would you want to go to a random country like South Africa? I've heard they have really spectacular trauma experience if you do a rotation there though
Just do an MD in Canada
>>16910891
Yes, Portland, Oregon. Oh, I forgot Washington, DC in that list

The Shitt is a highly complex psyop to convince a million zoomers to apply EM so they can be prepped and ready to ship to the frontlines for Israel

Seems like we need a second one of these this thread

>DO NOT GIVE ADVICE
>DO NOT FEED THE NURSOIDS
>DO NOT ENGAGE WITH PREMEDS
and most importantly
>DO NOT REPLY TO PSYCH POSTERS

>>16910935
you forgot the most important
>DO NOT REPLY TO OPTOMETRY POSTERS

>>16910895
It just made me want to go to residency in Pittsburgh

>>16910935
well what the fuck are you even supposed to do then??

>>16910892
no one cares about mistery meat derma diseases, if it is not melanoma or that one T cell skin leukemia then it does not count, and even then , it is not the dermoids treating them

I like the UK way
doctors are doctors dr.
surgeons are Mister Mr.
no one will get them confused for real doctors

>lecture on defensive medicine
Do I just accept getting sued, then?

>>16911419
Just order a bunch of unnecessary tests for all the Zebra conditions, shrimple as.

>>16911419
Overdiagnose and overtreat unless the risk of acting is known to be ridiculously high. Get written consent for everything crazier than an IV. When you get named in a suit, you just say that you treated everything and did all procedures the way they were supposed to be done and that the patient knew the risks of everything. The end

Hey medical anons. I have a question. Whenever I sleep for more than 12 hours I wake up with a sore butt. It's not an especially deep pain but It's not the outside either, It's sort of a few inches inside my butt. The pain isn't terrible, about a 5/10. I don't understand what causes this. The pain is sort of between a blunt and sharp pain it kind of feels like a tear. It often goes away within an hour of waking up. What is happening here? It's a bit embarrassing but I am curious what is actually happening?

>>16911450
Syndrome of Gluteus Adipos et Crassus

>>16911453
I have nerve damage after an L5-S1 disc prolapse that compressed my root nerve and permanently damaged it.

>>16911450
You're getting butt-raped in your sleep

>>16911468
I can confirm I am not I live alone and have an autistic level of security including lidar and lasers.

>>16911470
should've installed gaydar
tut tut rookie mistake

>>16911473
): the pain goes away 30 mins after waking up. Is my colon relaxing or is gas pressure building up? It has to be something simple.

>>16911419
>listening to lecturers
these retards will tell you one thing then do the exact opposite. had a few lecturers say you should never date patients. you'll never guess who they dated then married.
now, they might say don't do defensive medicine as if you note in the chart "im just doing this to cover my ass" it might not look good in court and the school's legal department may get on them if they said defensive medicine is fine, but you can bet everyone practices defensive medicine. to what degree though, that's up to you.

>>16911088
Mostly bitch cryptically, dunk on people in gay specialties, make fun of neurologists. Med culture.

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>>16911628
How can I tell you're an internist you fucking redditor nerd
Let me guess, graduated residency in the mid 2010s at a mid tier academic program and still single?

>>16911646
Lol, kepprababby detected

>>16911628
Based. Fuck sports med and rehab. Most people pick specialties based off fetishes. Podiatry is a primo example of what's considered untouchable in medicine. That's why they aren't allowed at school. Feet people are freaky. I think we should force the Opthalmologists and optometrists fist fight for superiority. It's retarded having two similar positions.
>I'm a pulmonologist
>I'm a resporologist
>I'm a neurologist
>I'm a retard

It's all the same retarded shit. My fuck I can't wait to slam a bottle of liquor and punch my drywall. WOOO

>>16912192
Podiatry is like the cushiest specialty out there, it's literally just filing off calluses and clipping nails for Medicare benniebux, then occasionally referring a hamplanet to vascular/ortho to get a PAD paw cut off.

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What's /med/ doing for Valentine's Day?

I was planning on drawing my waifu but I don't think that's going to happen :(

>>16912227
eat cupcakes and cookies i got on sale, play vackbox on /v/, play other vidya, and maybe masturbate

>>16912227
Wife is running a marathon the next day so it's
>valentines candy for my kids
>valentines candy for my wife
>carb loading for dinner
>get a beej

Dont get married id rather jack off and play vidya.

>>16912328
Marriage is good. It's modern women that are trash

>>16912227
ED shift
Can't wait to rotate out of this dogshit specialty

>>16912227
Thinking about the gal who got away
>Hey Alexa play despazito

>>16912192
neurologists really do be like "darn it this patient has a chronic incurable disease or had a stroke, nothing we can really do about it :(("

>>16912192
optometry #1 :)

>>16912227
I will have a ny strip at the steakhouse. Fuck off to my home. Have a wank and get over it.

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>finally graduated medschool
>domestic doctors get treated and paid like shit
>look into job oppotunities abroad
>suprisingly many first world countries will allow me to practice there if i pass their bar test.
>only one small catch
>due to the amount of third world criminals immigrated to escape their homeland law enforcement, most countries now requires a "letter of good standing"
>there is no equivalent in my country
>the nepo-hired powertripping roastie at the health ministry had no idea what i was talking about and told me to ask the police
>the nepo-hired powertripping roastie at the police had no idea what i was talking about and told me to go back to the health ministry and sort things out with them
>mfw

>>16912476
Oh come on its not that bad. You barely do anything.

>>16913443
>didnt pay a random police chief some cash to write a letter with official letterhead saying "anon dindu nuffin"

how did you guys study for level 2? I knew of uworld and amboss but they dont feel enough

>>16913443
Find a doctor who left your country and ask him what he did, you drooling retard

Better yet, stay in your country