>HATING PEOPLE WITH BPD IS WRONG>THINKING BPD = BAD PERSON IS WRONG>YOU ARE WRONG>RANTPeople with BPD really are not as bad as you say! Sure, they have episodes, ups and downs, even veritable freakouts. Some become obsessive and get hurt over very minor things. All of them are different, so stop lumping them into one pile!People focus on the bad, never mentioning the good of a BPD friend or partner. In my experience, people with BPD are dedicated friends and partners. They understand how much it sucks to lose someone and go to their wits' end to prevent it.>THREAD PURPOSEIf you have BPD or don't mind BPD, post in this thread looking for a friend or partner.>asl>friends or dating>experience with BPD
>asl38/m/est>hentaicute dicks, small breasts, lolicon, moe, oral, glasses, oneshota, sisters, tomboys, traps, brown girls, futanari>animubocchi the rock, yuru camp, k-on, dragon maid, nichijou, aria, shirobako, girls' last tour, machikado mazoku, hidamari sketch, ruri rocks>vidyapokemon, skullgirls, katawa shoujo, final fantasy tactics advance, disgaea, twinkle star sprites, magical pop'n, cotton, umihara kawase, arcana heart, rosenkreuzstilette>looking forany gendermutual nudessharing hentairomantic friends>not looking forjust goonzero nudesface revealvoice calls>discordout.sub
I cured my bpd. Therapy failed, medication failed, but what finally worked was realising women are incapable of love.Love is a masculine quality, and while most men are also incapable of it, some are. Women aren't able to at all, though.Instead, they seek value and gravitate towards whatever provides it. Men also do this, but only generally, not as a rule. Women are only capable of seeking the value, and becoming attached to it, whether it's sex, money, power, status, security, etc, and will only stay with someone they see as capable of providing those things. If it vanishes as a possibility, so does the "love".Example, two people get together, one has a high paying job, but loses that job. They stay together, because the intention is to get another one. Two people get together, physically slim, one puts on a lot of weight, but they stay together because the intention is to lose the weight. Alternatively, the person says they don't want to get another job, the person says they don't care about gaining weight, etc. Their partner starts having doubts and wants to leave. Most men and all women will do this. They will stay as long as the main factor is there, and leave when it isn't. The factor can vary, but the pattern is always the same.It is meaningless to pursue love with a woman, because they cannot feel it. This is not an issue for any man who is the same way, because they can leech off each other, but for men who seek love, there is no respite. Unless you're gay, which I'm not, the solution is to make peace with God's love, and die alone.This realisation is the cure to bpd.
>>34822330What about interactions with friends and family and others? The women I date tend to get the worst of it but it's not exclusive to them
>>34822330Are we just using "BPD" as a byword for female behavior in general now?
>>34822417Sounds like it, and why not?
>>34822417always has been. you think these faggots actually have crazy bpdemon exes and aren't just bitching that any random woman was 1% rude to him or something so he goes all internet buzzword on it
>>3482241797% of all diagnosed cases of BPD are for women. Men are diagnoses with other things, like ASPD
Shame this thread is already getting shitty. I was hoping to meet my future beautiful princess disorder wife :[
A thread of faggots who have never tasted pussy making excuses for why they have never bothered to better themselves and live like normal humans. Bpd is the excuse that retarded maladjusted basement dwellers use to explain away why the act like stupid faggots and can't keep a relationship with anyone.The real issue here is that you are a bunch of porn addicted niggers who rots away in your room. The only problem you faggots have is a lack of motivation to do better.Sad to see this many losers fail to realize they are the problem.
>>34822770That's because men don't go to fucking therapist since psychologists to see what actually is wrong with them, they make it. everyone else's problem until they literally can't anymore instead. women are also more likely to be raped than anyone else, especially at a young age, which is one of the triggering factors for BPD. get your head out of your ass. I don't even have the shit, largely can't stand BPD, and this fucking comment pissed me off.
>>34823289Ah responding out of anger and knowing nothing of the subject lovely. Im going to make a rational response and you are surely going to respond in kind...
>>34823289therapists or psychologists****
>>34823291Knowing nothing of the subject? it's been about 2 seconds and you're already trying to gaslight me? That's crazy. go argue with the wall or call your mom.
>>34823291by the way, retaining a fake calm/condescending tone doesn't actually admonish you of the dumb shit coming out of your mouth. what you said was inherently manipulative and bad faith, which anyone with a functioning brain not completely clouded by incel-blackpill propaganda can see. so like, anyone who has actually touched grass or a woman without it being sexual assault. have the day you deserve
Come break my stupid fem brain; don't add if you can't wait 20 min for a reply. I will get obsessed if youre interesting enough>Dcasa_tsume
>>34823289You really over reacted to this comment. You should try to become self aware of your black and white thinking. You just wanted to attack men and not actually try to discuss the topic even if he was trying to trigger a response from you. You shouldn't have given him the reaction he wanted
BPD means bad person. I don't care if they pretend and gaslight everyone into thinking "they don't mean to be cunts". If you can't accept accountability for being a cunt due to BPD, you can't accept accountability for being nice either. It goes both ways
>>34823349They are pretty awful to deal with. It is a problem it's a childs emotions in an adults body. They can get over it with therapy. Their behaviour should never be excused but that doesn't mean it is a problem for them. They just need to work on the issues
>>34822283Bpd women rape and kill their children, there is no good in them except occasional good sex. >>34822330Capeshit, I'm afraid
>BPD thread turns into /r9k/ thread about how awful BPD women are, 0 actual contacts posted that aren't spammersBPD isn't even real, it's just how traumatized women with disturbed nervous systems are and you guys can't handle it.
bpd whores should die
>>34823926BPD whores are the hottest, so cope with not being able to pull any bitches
>>34823783Picrel is exactly what I am looking for
>>34822283I'd date a BPD chick if she would never cheat on me, ghost, or just randomly decide to drop me. I like chaotic girls, but I don't like getting thrown off the ride. Is that even possible for a BPD person though?
>>34824222Yes, if you have a good connection and she's clingy she won't want to leave or have you leave her.
>>34824246Well if there ARE any girls like that here just message me and I'll give you my discord and we can talk from there.
>>34824254Make a post leaving your info and contact then. Actual BPD girls aren't going to post because retards shit up the thread and also women tend to lurk more than post on here anyway
>>34822330idk you just sound soi ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>34822770this is because a lot of males are pathetic and think a diagnosis makes them weak
>>34823257why havent you killed yourself yet?
>>34824246Dating a clingy and jealous girl is SO fucking EXHAUSTING. Having someone threaten suicide on top of that when you've gotten fed up? Naahhh bruh. I've already had my fair share. I'm fucking good. It's only fun the first time. The second time you're fucking retarded. Third time you're irredeemable and deserve everything that happens to you.
>>34824527Don't care, didn't ask faggot.
>>34824539Womp womp
>>34824527I don't understand this. Number one you should know after dealing with them threats of suicide from BPD girls are just calls for help and attention 99% of the time. Why is it bad to have to give your SO attention when they need it? I know they can be exhausting, but like it's like you said, if you go into a relationship with one you should know ahead of time they'll be clingy and continually need attention and love. I like that personally. My issue as I said before is that they will usually just suddenly change how they feel about you completely in a split second which leads to cheating, ghosting, and them dropping you. That's the outbursts that actually hurt because it completely destroys the relationship no matter what.
>>34823257Looks like someone struck a nerve. Go outside and come back calmer.
>Looking Fora cool, lewd, kinky, younger girl with similar interests.>Interestsbooks, anime, manga, K-pop, K-dramas, C-dramas, sports, TV & film>Intobrats, submissives, stepsisters..>Discordscizoren283
>>34824671Because it's just as you said. Clinginess and jealousy stem from insecurity which could or could not be a result of BPD. All of which, is extremely fucking exhausting to have to deal with, even if they're incredibly adoring or caring people. Which to be real, is often the case. People cheat for a variety of reasons, in cases like this, it's usually a protective mechanism/way to get control of a situation they feel they're losing control over. I honestly only wish the best for the girls I've dated with legitimate BPD, but it's just something that's extremely difficult to have to actually live and deal with. If they aren't making any efforts to help their BPD it's just one of those things doomed to fail. I always have this moment of lucidity where I'm like, Bro... why the fuck am I even dealing with this bullshit? Which is always hard because it can be difficult to tell where the person ends and the BPD begins. Legit BPD can be fucking hell. Most of what people on here call BPD is just like a catchphrase to describe shitty toxic girls
>>34824527you should die too
I think I may have bpd but Im not diagnosed and I never got therapy or psychiatric help so I won't self diagnose or post
>>34825849Literally me. Some of my BPD friends are adamant I have it though
>>34822283This image alone is why you should be annihilated
'Untreated BPD is linked to chronic relationship instability,frequent intense conflicts, push-pull dynamics, cycles of idealization/devaluation, higher risk of breakups, and mutual exhaustion. The fear of abandonment can fuel clinginess, jealousy, accusations, or impulsive actions (including sometimes cheating as a maladaptive coping mechanism), creating a feedback loop that's tough to break. Partners often describe it as emotionally draining, with little progress if the core issues aren't addressed. While some natural improvement can happen with age or life changes (BPD symptoms often lessen over decades even without intervention), untreated cases frequently lead to repeated relational turmoil, isolation, or other complications."
>>34823330Genuenly kill yourself, you are the worst of the worst. You aren't mentally ill, you're retarded. Unfixable
Genuinely, would women with BPD even enter this kind of thread? I doubt it but I like them, I wish they would talk to me.
22/mtf/US L,T, bpd, audhd yayyy lonely neurotic traumatized >interests pokemon, i play legends z-a and it would be cool to have someone to post to about it >looking for people smarter than me to put 100% of the effort in no men >not looking for anyone who expects effort from me non vidya-focused talk anyone who plays league men "hi" "hru" "what's up" and any other 1-4 word opener... https://nohello.net/en/ very dumb/very insecure people (not what i need sorry) i like attention, game analysis, weed, i mostly just want to talk about pokemon though >discord (no men) lumvyiuex
>>34826779>I doubt it but I like them, I wish they would talk to me.Weak beta males say shit like this not realizing that the endgame with bpdemons is them accusing you of being a rapist/abuser/whatever and roidtranny cops throwing you in jail to be abused by niggers. It would certainly be funny to see you try though, thinking that it'll be manic pixie Scott Pilgrim shit and not just some roastie who gets away with her terminal bad behavior all the time
>>34832903Dead foids tell no tales
>>34832903My ex had bpd and I enjoyed the thr fuck out of the rollercoaster of really high highs and low lows in the relationship. But I’m not going to frame it like that so my future bpdemon waifu doesn’t see me as some sort of chaser, also because some bpd chick would flip a table if an ex were mentioned. Basically stfu and kys retard you don’t know me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>34822283I love bpd foids they're so fun. My ex had bpd and would punch me in the nose. Too bad they're all blown out whores who entertain guys constantly.
23/M/USALooking for endless goon/trade partnerTop kinks:>petite girls + big tits/big ass>sloppy BJ / deepthroat / throatpies / gagging>ahegao drool / spit / messy face>humiliation, degradation, BNWO/snowbunny/blacked>anal creampies/gaping, piss/golden showers>feet/thighs/armpits, cumplay/facials/swallow!!!!!!Also into trading irl/exes, goth/emo slutsNo hard limits - just pump forever, no quick nuts!!!Add if down to corrupt & leak :33Discord:eternalgoonaddic
>>34806948SESSION THREADS ARE NOT PERMITTED BUT THIS ONE IS SOMEHOWWHY IS THAT, JANNY?
>>34834362>also because some bpd chick would flip a table if an ex were mentionedWhenever one of my relationships is going well, my partner starts talking to their ex and triangulating me... as if it's some kind YA romance love triangle. And yes, I am labeled crazy when I yell at them for it....>"Why won't this person kill my ex and themselves like the yandere animes?! They're not supposed to turn on ME, I'm senpai!"Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
>>34834362So basically you did get the manic pixie type misdiagnosed, if she was diagnosed at all, as BPD for pharma kike financial reasons. It will be funny to see your bitch ass end up with the real thing then on the big assumption you could pull even a cheating bpd roastie twice
Hello /soc/ anons, is there anyone who has BPD or who is very experienced dealing with people that have BPD that can give me advice on a situation with my BPD ex? I had an ex fiance with BPD (I did not know what BPD was or that he had it until right after he suddenly dumped me). We were each others first relationship and together for many years. We were talking about wedding planning and about looking for a house together since I could afford a down payment when suddenly he monkey branched to another woman. The woman he monkey branched to has nothing in common with him and is a complete downgrade from me which makes even less sense on top of everything else. He started getting weird and distant a few weeks before he dumped me so it's possible he was cheating on me with her but that is just a suspicion. I was always very good to him - loyal, patient, caring, kind, etc of course not perfect but he always told me I was a good gf and made him really happy. I love him so much, I have been really hurting. He's been with his new gf for a couple of months now but lately has been constantly texting me. He is not asking to get back together or talk about what happened, he keeps trying to be my "best friend". Why is he doing this to me? Why did all this happen? This is so confusing and hurtful, I still love him and miss him so much. I wish he would want to reconcile things with me but maybe I should give up all hope on that. Why is he suddenly wanting to be my friend and talk to me all the time? Do I block him or try to be his friend? It feels like he took a piece of my soul with him when he left. I am broken and may never be the same.
>>34844611move on. i promise you’ll be able to see the guy you romanticized in your head is who you’re mourning not him now. give yourself the space to clear your vision and emotions. he’s probably trying to groom you to be the fall back in case his current relationship doesn’t work. people are a dime a dozen hes only special to you now cause you're making him. get someone new
>>34844611>Why is he suddenly wanting to be my friend and talk to me all the timehe doesn't want to be with you, but he doesn't want you to be free of him. some people with bpd get a lot of value from having that control, knowing you can pull somebody back if you want, and will cultivate those relationships.If so, he'll put in exactly as much effort as it takes to keep you from moving on, right now it doesn't sound like much. If you try to get distance, he'll either move to acting like you might get back together, or emotionally blackmailing you for trying to abandon a friend after all you've been through.>weird and distant a few weeks before he dumped me so it's possible he was cheating on me with her he was, but probably only for those few weeks.>he woman he monkey branched to has nothing in common with him and is a complete downgrade from me which makes even less sense social value or value as a partner is not why it happened, you could be a perfect 10/10 and it wouldn't make a difference. Don't spend too much time trying to work that out.There's a good chance there's some high emotional intensity with his new relationship which is why he did it but gives it a good chance of burning out fast. If that happens, he'll try to move back to you, will accept no responsibility, and will act like you have no right to feel weird about it. I recommend avoiding this, because nothing about you has changed and now he knows he can get away with it.Good luck.>this is based on my personal experience only, everybody is a unique butterfly etc
>>34823931>>34823783>>34824246Embarrassing behaviour.Dont give narcissists the time of day fellas. Bpd women birth bpd children. Leave the genetic refuse to rot.>>34824473Its because narcissism is a female trait. BPD is just narcissism.
>>34844669>he’s probably trying to groom you to be the fall back in case his current relationship doesn’t workBut wouldn't he be risking his new relationship by constantly contacting me and trying to hang out one-on-one? Certainly his new girlfriend would notice something isn't right eventually? >people are a dime a dozen hes only special to you now cause you're making him. get someone newPeople are not objects. He is special to me because we've spent so many years together, been through so much, have so many memories. I can't suddenly shut off my feelings for him nor do I want to rush into some crappy toxic rebound relationship hoping that it'll distract me from everything. >>34844916>he doesn't want to be with you, but he doesn't want you to be free of himHe's using me as an ego boost? I mentioned to the other anon but wouldn't he be risking his new relationship by constantly contacting me and trying to meet up with me? >social value or value as a partner is not why it happened, you could be a perfect 10/10 and it wouldn't make a differenceWell I'm stuck on this because the woman he left for is the type of person he would always complain about and find disgusting while we were together. She has so many traits he hates so it makes no sense he'd throw something good away for that. >There's a good chance there's some high emotional intensity with his new relationship which is why he did it but gives it a good chance of burning out fast. If that happens, he'll try to move back to you, will accept no responsibility, and will act like you have no right to feel weird about itHe left me due to novelty and that honeymoon phase or excitement of a new relationship? You said based on your personal experience so would you be ok sharing a bit about what happened? Did your ex burn their new relationship out fast and try to come back like nothing happened? How long were you with them and how long post breakup did they try to return back? Did you take them back?
>>34845608Move on you fucking retard.>people are not objectsUnless you have bpd (unchecked narcissism) then people are objects to you.
>>34844993>narcissism is a female trait>majority of diagnosed narcissists (debatably undiagnosed as well) are menmen really do just make shit up to cope
>>34844916this post is pretty accurate for men who do this shit.>>34845608>risking relationshiphe clearly doesn't care about that and is more determined to have multiple women in his life>person he finds disgustingare you retarded? you must be a really young foid. TONS of men marry women they find disgusting based on the value they provide. Just because a man tells you he likes certain types or isn't into them doesn't matter because he'll go to whatever fulfills his needs (societal value, emotional, sexual, or otherwise). It's not uncommon for men to target certain types of girls in hopes of "fixing" them (even though the original was "his type") because the goal is power. You are focused on this from a complete foid perspective of whether or not it was because you were good enough, if she's his type, if he'll come back, etc. which are all the wrong questions. He was willing to let you go, therefore he didn't deserve you. Your worth doesn't make a man cheat or not cheat (a good man would break up honorably and a shitty one will fuck around, like come on you dipshit stop reading romance novel logic), and regardless of whether he's willing to come back he was willing to cheat, fuck around on you, break up with you, hurt you through all of this, and keep you on the side in hopes you'll stick around when he's ready to marry (aka he wants you to be a babymaker housemaid bangmaid). Is that someone worth investing your life into? Like beyond you blah blah I love him, a piece of my soul is gone, etc. you have to understand relationships mean you share your life with a person. You are making the decision to share your life with a leech, who doesn't value you, doesn't respect you, and doesn't care about you as a person. Why are you so desperate for that back? Like, it's fine to be hurt, it's fine to feel broken (losing attachments is really hard), but you can recover from a loss of attachment and heal.
>>34846007continued>>34845608You CAN'T recover from what you don't let go of. That's why he wants you in this position. Men want to keep the highest value woman who will tolerate the most bullshit. He's testing what you'll tolerate. You are losing in every single way. Focusing on men to complete yourself means you will always fail. He took out the trash and you want him back, like come on girl. Grow up. I also don't think you understand.... If he comes back to you, YOU ARE THE SIDE CHICK. Why the actual fuck do you want to be the side chick for this man he isn't willing to be in a healthy relationship or invest in and instead cheats, go with other women, and when he gets bored comes back simply because he has you as an option? like my god where is your self esteem??? You are using logic with desperation to soothe your hurt ego by talking about how she's not his type, you're better, you were so good to him, blah blah blah. Like girl who the fuck cares if he's a shitty dude he shouldn't be the basis of your self worth. He's shown he just wants to fuck around and could not care less and doesn't value your worth. Face the music, stop depending on a man to fix your hurt fee fees, and pick something better, for yourself or a better partner. You being a good partner doesn't fix men who are trash. That's not how it works. Life isn't a movie like twilight. A shitty person will always be shitty, and basing yourself on that will always keep you miserable and attached (see what's going on in your previous posts). You should instead be taking this as a sign he doesn't give you what you want/need (healthy stable relationship, compassion, respect, etc.), he doesn't care, prioritizes what he wants, isn't considering you in his plans in life, and doesn't value you enough to respect or treat you well. So what you do is you take time to heal so that you can come across a guy who isn't like this, who will value/respect you, and you can depend on and be a good wife/girlfriend for.
>>34844993Narcissism is unfixable. Bpd can be treated and lessens with age even untreated.
>>34845608>He's using me as an ego boost?its a different motivation. It's partly how he values his worth, partly the need to know he has options when he inevitably fucks shit up. if he's not self aware it isn't a conscious choice.>risking his new relationship by constantly contacting me and trying to meet up with memore options is lower risk overall. He doesn't value that relationship any more than he values yours, he wants the flexibility.>the type of person he would always complain about and find disgusting while we were togetheryeah we all do that. if you're dating somebody, you say you don't like the things they aren't. 'god I hate sluts with fat tits lol thank goodness I found a flat prude like you'>He left me due to novelty and that honeymoon phase or excitement of a new relationshipmaybe. it comes with seeking that intensity and excitement. that could be the heady rush at the start of a relationship, it could be a toxic relationship with incredible highs and lows that will destroy itself soon.>would you be ok sharing a bit about what happenedI'm old and have dated a few, including long term relationships. so:>Did your ex burn their new relationship out fast and try to come back like nothing happenedyep, multiple times. if you cut all contact, expect him to occasionally reach out regardless.>How long were you with them longest was 15 years>how long post breakup did they try to return backwhenever they next feel that slight insecurity. its not the first time they try that's the issue, its that they never stop. that 15 year ex is still texting me fucked up shit multiple times a week several years later, trying to get a reaction from me.>Did you take them backa few times. I don't recommend it unless you understand and accept what you're dealing with. if you put emotional weight into them not fucking up again you will be disappointed
>>34845608im telling you right now he doesn’t care or value your loyalty. he’s not special. just move on he literally is using you for a rebound. tldr: >>34845904 listen to this anon.
>>34845904>>34846007>>34846025>>34846139Ok so I'm supposed to move on. How? He's completely ruined my trust and wasted close to a decade of my life so even if I am able to move past him I can never trust that the next relationship wouldn't end the same. Maybe his BPD had something to do with the monkey branching etc but plenty of people without any cluster b disorders can still act like everything is great and suddenly cheat or leave. Why bother investing into anything more than platonic friendships knowing this could easily happen again. >>34846131Thanks for sharing your experience anon, it's completely awful you could spend 15 years with someone only for them to end up doing that to you. Does the monkey branching/cheating tend to be a pattern? Is the kind caring loving person they were during the relationship all a facade and the lying, cheating, and cold discard the "real" person?
>>34846359> 15 years with someone only for them to end up doing that to youI've dated multiple people like this and the experience isn't from just one. the 15 year relationship showed signs of it early on, but once we moved in together there wasn't much. her bpd primarily expressed in other ways.>Does the monkey branching/cheating tend to be a patternif it happens once, yeah. it's likely to be something they repeat.>Is the kind caring loving person they were during the relationship all a facade and the lying, cheating, and cold discard the "real" person?That's a black and white view. There are multiple aspects to a person. It's normal to accept a few flaws with a person, and this person comes with a shitload of flaws. It doesn't change who they are the rest of the time, but it helps you decide whether it's worth dealing with a horribly flawed individual because they're capable of being nice sometimes.As an aside, a few of your comments make me wonder if you have a diagnosis of a different kind - if not, it might be worth checking out. It can provide some extra tools to help navigate the complexities of relationships and trust.
>>34846712If you've dated multiple do you not spot the red flags early on? Looking back I wish I knew more about the disorder because I would've been able to see the early signs like the lovebombing, mirroring, etc. I've been told by my therapist the cheating/monkey branching will be a repeated thing but since I was his first relationship he had no previous history to base things off of. >There are multiple aspects to a person. It's normal to accept a few flaws with a person, and this person comes with a shitload of flawsI was willing to and did accept his flaws yet that wasn't enough, I guess if he ever does try to come back and I gave him another chance he would end up leaving the same way again... >As an aside, a few of your comments make me wonder if you have a diagnosis of a different kindYes not a personality disorder but depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
>>34846359It takes time. No one expects you to move on immediately. ya gotta reconnect to yourself, find healthy friendships to depend on, and build yourself up. As your nervous system regulates you'll be able to process the actual breakings of trust and issues easier. I thought I couldn't live with my ex who cheated on me when I had chemo after 6 years and being engaged, but after a year or two I bounced back because I was able to see the situation more clearly rather than focusing on my own hurt ego. Whether you learn to trust again is your call (I did and it's going well), but you can definitely learn skillsets to better navigate red flags and find safer situations.>>34847142>I was willing to accept their flawsdo you not understand that this isn't the flex you think it is? accepting flaws is like them hating doing the dishes or having a forgetful memory, NOT cheating on you and then making it so you still are attached emotionally to lead you on and use you later. You seem to not understand that.
> ASL24/m/Cali> What I’m looking forI’m writing a character with BPD, so sort of want to have some advice to make sure I’m not being completely fucking stupid. I don’t want yet another demonization piece > Experience with BPDI had a very close friend in college who has BPD
>>34847241Forgot to say. Leave your discord if you want to be added
>>34847164>I thought I couldn't live with my ex who cheated on me when I had chemo after 6 years and being engagedThat is really bleak. Sorry you had to go through that. If you were able to eventually be ok after having to go through so much, I guess some time in the future I will be ok too hopefully. I know I can't accept him cheating/leaving me for someone else. He is probably going to keep doing that, maybe even to his new girlfriend as well. What I meant was I accepted his BPD traits/behaviors while we were together and would have continued to do so.
>>34824222my bf claimed this but basically ended up disappearing and treating me almost like a stranger. i geniunely dont get it, but in hindsight i could see a huge lack of commitment from him as soon as i implored him to fuck other women (its a thing for me) and tell/show me.wondering if dating is even worth it with my malignant issues and weird kinks.
>>34847811Do you want to be in the room?
I truly think I'm the single best BPD handler on earth, and am super comfortable with girls with BPD.I'm 31/m and if you're a BPD girl looking for a friend or even a partner if the drive and willingness is there, I think we could get along. You can add my disc: moosemasseuse
>>34847815it didnt matter much to me either way. threesomes were hot too.
>>34823257You don't think it's your fault for refusing to create a society flexible enough to accommodate them as well as yourself?Let's expand the view to the progenitors of your philosophy shall we? The elite currently dragging the world into yet another dispute over resources because rather than work for it, it's easier to exert their influence and station resources that way. And the fact they have the influence to do that is all the excuse they need...You're not getting it right either, the fact you think you are the standard is just ego. Get over yourself.
>asl28/Male/US>about youI’m a chill guy who’s into movies, anime, video games, fashion, cosplay, horror, art, music, traveling and all that fun stuff>looking forI’m not BPD but my ex was so people with it have a soft spot in my heart and I miss the fun times we had together. I don’t really have much to offer as far as friends and relationships goes rn but I’d love to find someone as horny as my ex was that would be interested in selling pics. I only use cashapp, venmo and paypal but I can send you money for some cute ones. Just hmu and lmk. >contactsleepy_dolls
>>34847142>If you've dated multiple do you not spot the red flags early onyeah, I eventually figured out what was happening after the first few, but my situation is a little different to yours. I liked some aspects of dating somebody with bpd, and figured that now I understood things I could manage it better next time. >he cheating/monkey branching will be a repeated thing but since I was his first relationship he had no previous history to base things off of. it will be, and that's a fair point. but its an unknown if he would have told you anyway, because he'd likely tell himself this time it'll be different. >if he ever does try to come back and I gave him another chance he would end up leaving the same way again... yes. and you'd feel stupider for having thought there was a chance. Investing time and effort into it, only to give yourself more trauma and trust issues. That can be a cycle that's hard to escape from for you as well as him, I recommend you don't start it.
>>34848577>figured that now I understood things I could manage it better next timeDid they still all turn out similarly despite you thinking this? Were there any you were with that remained loyal or did all of them cheat/monkey branch? >its an unknown if he would have told you anyway, because he'd likely tell himself this time it'll be differentYeah that's true he likely wouldn't have mentioned it due to his avoidance of taking accountability and his tendency to rewrite conflicts to blame others (ie he is always the victim who does no wrong). >That can be a cycle that's hard to escape from for you as well as him, I recommend you don't start it.I don't think he's coming back anyways, other than trying to string me along or whatever he is intending to do with his daily texts and hangout invites to me. When I tried to confront him about cheating after he dumped me he started freaking out on me so there's no point expecting things would go differently if he came back when he can't admit to his wrongdoings. I just don't get why he was able to leave so suddenly and easily despite his extreme fear of abandonment.
>>34849435>Did they still all turn out similarly despite you thinking thisyes and no. I was better at managing it, but the options are being sucked into the emotional side or being able to manage things while keeping emotional distance, neither of which is a good relationship.>Were there any you were with that remained loyal yes, but they weren't the cheating kind. not everybody with bpd is.>I don't think he's coming back anyways,he'll try at some point, its a question of when. could be in a few weeks, could be in a year.>I just don't get why he was able to leave so suddenly and easily despite his extreme fear of abandonment.that's fear of being abandoned, not fear of abandoning others. How things make him feel does not necessarily translate to how he treats others.
>>34850079>I was better at managing it, but the options are being sucked into the emotional side or being able to manage things while keeping emotional distanceWere you purposely seeking out people with BPD? That sounds like it'd get tiring having those kinds of relationships.>they weren't the cheating kind. not everybody with bpd is.I know not all of them cheat but I was under the impression it is fairly common for them to do so because of their impulsivity and the possibility they start idealizing someone new while splitting/devaluing their current partner. Which I suspect is what caused mine to suddenly leave for someone else.>he'll try at some point, its a question of when. could be in a few weeks, could be in a year.The way you say this makes it sound almost like it's a guarantee, what makes you so certain he'll be back to try for round 2 eventually? >that's fear of being abandoned, not fear of abandoning others. How things make him feel does not necessarily translate to how he treats others.Yeah that's true, I just thought it would apply to how he treated others since he was always having random episodes saying things like "everyone always leaves me please don't leave me" so I figured if he never wanted me to leave him, it would be too upsetting for him to leave as well. Though clearly that's not the case.
summer.mae on discord 23/f/ny
>>34847811the perfect woman...
discord is Zoggere
>>34850918lol, no.the poly shit doesnt work unfortunately. as much as you want it to work it never really truely works. if it could work you'd need well adjusted and mentally sound people to do it, a catch 22 really.
>>34822283i don't hate bpd ppl because i know the systems of classification are fake + i'm half "bpd"im a femboy on hrt for a really long time..im from southeast USlf:>girls, transgirls, femboys, ftms(not trying to offend someone... i just feel emotionally lost on high doses of estrogen)stuff:>left hand path magic>drug use>cult-like behavior and structures>divination>encrypted methods of communication>tarot>casting of lots>ancient languages/primary sources >astrology and lunar cycles>energy from crystals or rods/staves>tantra/tantric sex>weird religious syncretism>old videogames/emulators, competitive games, i like a lot of stuff like this>discord idmostworthlesstwink
>>34851025sounds like it worked for you but not for him
>>34824527i don't have anybody so she can't be jealous
>>34850918>>34851025>>34851103Poly is retarded on the face of it. You can never love two people equally. When parents say they love all their kids the same they're lying for your benefit. Same with poly relationships. It's inevitably going to be two people getting closer to each other an one or more left out.
>>34851142fucking other people ≠ poly
>>34851170I didn't say anything about fucking?
>>34851142i never asked for him to love the others. it was just naive to think that i would ever get the same amount of affection and attention after i implored him to seek others, as i did before. he's obviously gonna lean towards whoever makes him feel the best even if theyre worse off objectively than me. proof that men dont care about how much women make or how well off they are. they want someone younger and present. LOL.>>34851103yeah, im not sure about that. this whole thing isn't working for me, among other things. has me feeling like dating isn't worth it and a bit more beyond that.
>>34851221just because that setup didn't work with one guy doesn't mean it won't work with anyone
>>34851385no, i mean that i dont really feel like trying it again. the chance of things going wrong is too high for my liking. not everyone gets a fairy tale happy ending.
>>34851423true no point in trying to be happy just accept mediocrity til you die
>>34851434i didnt get that even.
>>34851453didn't get what
>>34847811>>34851453probably a bad idea but can I leave my tag for u, u seem interesting lol
>>34851483no
>>34851483>>34851562lmao
>>34851562>>34851567
>>34850308>Were you purposely seeking out people with BPDnot really. There are more people with BPD around than you realize and I'm a stereotype father figure.>That sounds like it'd get tiring having those kinds of relationshipsI came to the same conclusion there. It wears you down. >it is fairly common for them to do so because of their impulsivity it is, yes. It's probably almost universal in people with more severe BPD, but with milder cases it's not guaranteed.>they start idealizing someone new while splitting/devaluing their current partner.yep. they already have you, you're not special anymore. but what they don't have seems new and exciting.>what makes you so certain he'll be back to try for round 2 eventually? He's keeping you on the line because while he doesn't want you, he likes having the option available. it provides comfort. At some point he'll devalue his current relationship, or he'll be destabilized and feel the need to have more options, and you are the the path his mind will take. It will happen at least once, it may happen repeatedly over years. >>34850308>I figured if he never wanted me to leave him, it would be too upsetting for him to leave as well.it would make sense if that were the case, wouldn't it? but trying to fit actions into a logical framework is going to be difficult. his mind works in a physically different way to yours.
>>34852256>There are more people with BPD around than you realize and I'm a stereotype father figureWere they drawn to you because you take on a caretaker role? >It's probably almost universal in people with more severe BPD, but with milder cases it's not guaranteedThe sad thing is that my ex is obsessed with marriage and having kids but he's going to end up imploding his future marriage/family, I don't get why he wants a lifelong commitment when he can't commit. >they already have you, you're not special anymore. but what they don't have seems new and exciting.In your experience how long do they stay in the idealization/honeymoon phase before things start going downhill? For my ex it was around 4-6 months which I heard 3-6 months is a common timeline. >He's keeping you on the line because while he doesn't want you, he likes having the option available. it provides comfort. He likely doesn't feel regret nor miss me? He sent a few messages about missing me and some apology messages but I assumed they were just him trying to keep me on the hook, imo he would've broken up with his new girlfriend and begged for me back if he realized what he lost and genuinely regretted it.>trying to fit actions into a logical framework is going to be difficult. his mind works in a physically different way to yours Yeah I just wish I had known what I was getting into, I barely knew anything about BPD until very recently when it's already too late and the damage has been done.
>ASL25/M/UK (I'll say where when I get to know you)>About meCocky, fun-loving, no-bullshit type. I prefer no nonsense vibes above all else.>AppearanceTall, fit/lean athletic build from hitting the gym and staying active. Alt/edgy style, dark fits, nothing over the top, just whatever matches the mood. Clean-cut (hair is long).>PersonalityConfident without being a dick, fun-loving above all else, but rock-solid when needed. I don't take myself too seriously on the surface, but I'm stable, loyal, and always down to dive deep into weird hobbies (nothing NSFW or gross, but if you're into Twin Peaks, you can hit me up.)>Looking forProbably a girl who's a little messy, lonely and raw and real, like the ones in this thread spilling their guts about life, or just craving some intensity I guess. I get it, and I'll be your anchor without judgement. Bonus if you're European (UK vibes hit different), but Americans are always welcome too. Let's chat deep, game together, or hit the city. Age is irrelevant as long as you're above 18, no hard bio walls. Let's see if we click. If we click, we can certainly meet. Blokes can add too, mates are always welcome, just don't be a fucking weirdo asking me to rate your anime porn collection. That shit gets you blocked.>Not looking forSellers, ghosts, or anyone just chasing quick NSFW. If you're in recovery or dealing with heavy stuff, I'm supportive, but no enabling bullshit. I'm not your therapist or a cuck.>Hobbies/InterestsDeep-hitting music (alt rock, electronic, whatever sets the mood. I love sharing playlists like the niche YouTube essays mentioned here), late night city walks, bar-hopping, gaming, psych/survival books, novels. Discreet with booze/drugs for the edge (I'm experimental but not reckless, like the psychonauts here)>ContactDiscord: misterstarfall(Add with something from the thread that caught your eye, so I know you're real and not a weirdo)
>>348459911. Females dont get properly diagnosed ever due to a little well documented phenomena called the women are wonderful effect. Even when we see objectively bad/negative behaviour in women we seek to excuse it (bpd is a good example of this!)2. Men being diagnosed doesnt make it not a trait that is feminine in nature. 3. I am a woman>>34846086There is no real treatment that works for bpd besides realizing its narcissism and that you yourself need to fight yourself comstantly.>lessens with ageNo it absolutely does not you need to read actual research on this and stop listening to foids. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effectWell documented.
>>34853730Bpd isn't an excuse for bad behavior in a proper psychiatric environment and will be called out. It's a diagnosis, not an excuse. What the general public does with that information is on them.The second is just a genuinely retarded statement. also, if we need to stop listening to foids, that includes you. Shut the fuck up and take your own advice, because you're clearly a dipshit foid who doesn't understand either of these.
>>34853393>Were they drawn to you because you take on a caretaker role? yeah. it's not exclusive to bpd, but when you lack internal stability you may seek it out externally. >I don't get why he wants a lifelong commitment when he can't commit.people make a habit of craving and fetishizing what they cannot have. plus having kids is the most universal desire after maybe 'eat food'>In your experience how long do they stay in the idealization/honeymoon phase before things start going downhillit really depends. I'd say 3-6 months is probably about right, but I've seen much shorter and much longer. Hot tip: if you ride out the episode just right you can often get another honeymoon phase afterwards (but the episode could take months and its a very bad time)>He likely doesn't feel regret nor miss me?no, he does. the feelings and words he says are real, they just won't influence his actions. he'll let you know how terrible he feels for hurting you while hurting you more, and he's not doing it intentionally.>I barely knew anything about BPD until very recently when it's already too late and the damage has been done.It's a term you hear thrown around until you have a first-hand experience with it sometime in your teens or early 20's. Or if you're less lucky, earlier with one of your parents.
>>34855137>when you lack internal stability you may seek it out externallyYeah that makes sense. >people make a habit of craving and fetishizing what they cannot have. plus having kids is the most universal desire after maybe 'eat food'He would be a terrible parent and husband, I think he only wants kids because he feels like it will fill that depressive void he has but that is never going to go away. >I'd say 3-6 months is probably about right, but I've seen much shorter and much longer. Hot tip: if you ride out the episode just right you can often get another honeymoon phase afterwards (but the episode could take months and its a very bad time)Do you think it also depends on the person they are with? I feel like it lasts longer when they're with someone who is a doormat/pushover. >the feelings and words he says are real, they just won't influence his actionsHe seems to be driven by whatever emotion he is feeling in the moment and is impulsive so I figured that if the feelings/words were real he would act on them. >It's a term you hear thrown around until you have a first-hand experience with it sometime in your teens or early 20's. Or if you're less lucky, earlier with one of your parents.I actually was friends with someone who has it but she was in therapy for many years and seemed relatively stable so I never bothered researching anything about it, didn't know it was such a severe disorder because of how "normal" she was.
>>34855508>He would be a terrible parent and husband, I think he only wants kids because he feels like it will fill that depressive voidin general, it is a bad idea to have children if you have untreated mental health conditions. >Do you think it also depends on the person they are with? Yes.>I feel like it lasts longer when they're with someone who is a doormat/pushover. I'm less sure about that. a doormat might let them get away with shit for longer, I wouldn't call that 'lasting longer'. The counterpoint is that many people with BPD will test limits until they're put back in their place, and a doormat cant do that for them. Those people last longest with somebody who is the right level of nice but not engaging in their bullshit.>He seems to be driven by whatever emotion he is feeling in the moment and is impulsive so I figured that if the feelings/words were real he would act on them. they are real, and in the moment they're intense. but they don't last and you can't rely on them. they'll be something else tomorrow, or in an hour, or in 15 minutes.>didn't know it was such a severe disorder because of how "normal" she was.milder cases/those with self awareness are different. Many people with BPD know they have it, they don't like it, and they try to manage it. They're normal, mostly functional members of society who identify when things are about to get weird for them and withdraw rather than inflict it on othersThen there are the rest: they don't understand why they feel this way but it's their internal truth and they won't accept outside input. Bad things that happen are never their fault, because according to their brain they were being reasonable the whole time. They're the horror stories. They will never learn to identify and manage the symptoms because they don't accept anything is wrong with them.
>>34822283>>RANT>People with BPD really are not as bad as you say!they will literally ruin your life. stay away.
>>34856396I openly posted that I'm BPD and only the stupidest demon fucker moids added me, after I asked for moids not to add me.No coincidence here. You moids are controlled by demons. Not only that: the evil demons. You are sent here to oppress empaths using psychopathy.
Every moid will be blocked don't try admitting you're a moid to me
Any bpd femanons want to do a transactional type thing? I give attention and don't ghost when you have a freak out, you act like you care about me sometimes
>>34856607Yeah but I already hate you
>>34822283Is that you Carolina?
>>34856651I'm a moid and you're a little too into the magick stuff I don't think we'd match well anyway
I came across something that helps us all in the thread, even if you haven't realized why.Psalm 23King James Version23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
ims so fdrink tn add me pls.tag swag.tarded insya swag.tarded add me wr be drink yogethe rneed boyfriend sos cute boyfriendmexican opleasemy tummy hruts am bpd have BORDELINE PEEROSNALITH DISOTDER i feel like mug drinking bc ex boyfriend
>>34856725Torta babe, you're so hot and attractive but make the first move
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/F6ateusOR1Q
>>34856729am bot a nrota im am lolas
>>34856813I like whatever you said cause not even a CIA agent or LLM could come up with something this stupid
>asl24 m scotlandi look ok and i am tall. i am low iq and i will try my hardest to have a conversation and hold one. i am always online and i will do anything you want me to. i will try my hardest.>taghauuuuuuuuuu
>>34855707>it is a bad idea to have children if you have untreated mental health conditionsI wish he would realize this instead of producing the next generation of traumatized mentally ill children.>many people with BPD will test limits until they're put back in their place, and a doormat cant do that for themTypically aren't boundaries something they hate? My ex would get really angry over very reasonable boundaries, split, and accuse me of being controlling and ruining his life. >they are real, and in the moment they're intense. but they don't last and you can't rely on themOh in that case it's impossible to know what they are feeling because it changes so quickly... >They will never learn to identify and manage the symptoms because they don't accept anything is wrong with themWhat about the ones that are in between? My ex had these moments of clarity where he would realize he was acting toxic and treating people terribly, would apologize profusely, say he will try to change and then wouldn't actually change.
>>34857215>Typically aren't boundaries something they hate?yes, but at least some of them still respond well to it. The same reason they might seek out a figure of stability, they'll lash out as part of pushing boundaries but are happier overall knowing there are guardrails to stop them going over the edge>it's impossible to know what they are feelingYep. a working strategy for getting through those moments is not getting emotionally involved in trying to fix what they're feeling right now, because you'll be left behind fast. You keep a little distance, stay calm, and go with them to the next thing.>My ex had these moments of clarity where he would realize he was acting toxic and treating people terribly, would apologize profusely, say he will try to change and then wouldn't actually change.yeah, that's the kind I was with for 15 years. It might be better than nothing, but it doesn't make things meaningfully better for you. You'll appreciate the moments of clarity when they admit they fucked up, but it starts to feel meaningless after the 50th time they've done it, and they'll never know when it matters in the moment. only afterwards, when you force them to understand.
>>34858323>they'll lash out as part of pushing boundaries but are happier overall knowing there are guardrails to stop them going over the edgeUnfortunately I didn't have that experience, boundaries would trigger my ex. >You keep a little distance, stay calm, and go with them to the next thingYeah that sounds like a good strategy. >You'll appreciate the moments of clarity when they admit they fucked up, but it starts to feel meaningless after the 50th time they've done it, and they'll never know when it matters in the moment. only afterwards, when you force them to understand.I had the exact same experience. It got to a point where I finally accepted that was how he was always going to be. But over time he started having those moments of clarity less and less, and apologized less and less. So it was actually getting worse as he got older despite people claiming it gets a bit better with age.
>>34856588cope BPDemon
>>34856588>be retard>get added by retardsshocker
diagnosed and unmedicated<3 hmu on ig @trappercrk
>>34859295>I didn't have that experience, boundaries would trigger my ex. They'll only be respected if you have a way to enforce them and they face consequences for their actions. I also only have experience with girls, and only the kind who'd be interested in me, so everything I'm saying is about that specific subset of people with bpd.>So it was actually getting worse as he got older despite people claiming it gets a bit better with ageIt can get better with age if they are self aware enough and see a reason to do so. if not, it will likely get steadily worse as you burn more bridges, your options decrease, and you get deeper into a mindset. My ex is much worse than she used to be, though she has some other shit going on that can affect things
>asl27/mtf/midwest >friends or datingfriends>experience with BPDmany people think i have it, had a diagnosis for it once. i see it more and more as i get older. im not as bad as im made out to be. then again that could just be delusion.anespeciallycoolcat
>>34861029>They'll only be respected if you have a way to enforce them and they face consequences for their actionsWell other than breaking up with them, what other consequences could there be to enforce boundaries? >if not, it will likely get steadily worse as you burn more bridges, your options decrease, and you get deeper into a mindsetThat's sad, probably how my ex is going to end up. He keeps cycling jobs every few years due to having episodes at work and getting fired, and he can only maintain long-term friendships with people online or surface level friendships if it's someone he hangs out with in person.
The scary thing about bpd girls is when they're fawning you can tell her about how hot you think it is to rape kids and she'll be like you're so amazing there's this kid I know I can help you lure them.Like no bitch I meant in the fantasy sense not in the let's go commit horrible felonies to someone you know personally sense.
>>34862762Wtf are you on nigga
34 /f kinda chubby, idk if i have bpd but been in therapy 5 years either way. dunno why i'm even doing this desu disc cattorama
>>34822283join miaucord!! this our cat girl server +18 with so much fun and pretty autistic girls! we do giveaways for every milestone completed!! everyone is welcome, there's little to no rules and you can be as toxic as you want, join join!! :D https://discord.gg/6rtNejusj8 https://discord.gg/6rtNejusj8https://discord.gg/6rtNejusj8
>>34844611this is tough ignore all the copersmen love two womenthe mother mary type and the whoreand they ALWAYS want what they CANNOT currently have. thats how the world goes round unfortunately.basically:he loves you but he got something new and exciting and is relishing the attention hes getting. possibly the first time hes feeling so desiredtry to forget about him. you deserve better. pro tip, become less giving at start and only unleash your full caring side to someone who truly appreciates it.tldr he still loves you. just not how you want to
>>34867748>he loves you but he got something new and exciting and is relishing the attention hes gettingThis doesn't seem right. If he loves me he would've never left me in such a hurtful way. At one point he might've loved me but not anymore. That love he felt is gone and he sees me as nothing more than a potential fallback option or placeholder if things don't work out with the woman he left me for.
>>34822283>People with BPD really are not as bad as you say!Pretty dangerous take. It’s easy to mask and keep it together when you’re detached, but there’s a bit more nuance to it. I can play the part and keep the peace with acquaintances, but as soon as I actually get close to someone, everything falls apart and it’s just a total flood of everything I’ve been holding back. I've found it much easier for myself and others to self isolate.
>>34862713>Well other than breaking up with them, what other consequences could there be to enforce boundaries? consequences are individual but you've picked one of the most universal. You don't have to break up with them, they just have to realize you could.The quirk is that somebody with bpd will often alternate between being unusually sensitive to you behaving differently, and outright ignoring you as you clearly explain the issues to them for the tenth time. The latter is where they're likely to do dumb things and when they wont take outside input.Stopping them feeling like they're totally in control of the situation can often them up to listening again. You do this by engaging, but not letting them steer. Maybe you ramp up the intensity of the conversation, maybe uninterested and distant works best for them. maybe you sit back, stay calm, and occasionally redirect the conversation in a way they aren't expecting. The goal is to break them out of the circling self-reinforcing thoughts and force them to think about you as a person who has autonomy, instead of whatever weird framing of you is in their head.Breaking up is the nuclear option. It might feel like all you have, but the point of nukes isn't to use them, its for people to know you can if you choose.>He keeps cycling jobs every few years due to having episodes at work and getting fired, and he can only maintain long-term friendships with people online or surface level friendships if it's someone he hangs out with in person.It doesn't sound great. I've known people who have improved after doing that until their mid 20's, but it requires accepting there's something wrong with you and working on it. Maybe he'll hit rock bottom and have that moment, likely not.
>>34867748Totally wrong>>34822283Delusionally wrong. Bpdemons are extraordinarily dangerous.
>>34873477>The goal is to break them out of the circling self-reinforcing thoughts and force them to think about you as a person who has autonomy, instead of whatever weird framing of you is in their headI don't think this is possible for more servere cases of BPD and those that don't have awareness of how unstable/mentally ill they are. >Breaking up is the nuclear option. It might feel like all you have, but the point of nukes isn't to use them, its for people to know you can if you choose.I tried breaking up once and this caused my ex to have a days long mental breakdown with suicide attempt so I got upset and got back together with him. It's all so tiresome - tried offing himself when I wanted to leave but then left me when I stayed. >it requires accepting there's something wrong with you and working on it. Maybe he'll hit rock bottom and have that moment, likely notHe's accepted there is something wrong with him but says that's how he is and he can't change it. He put me through the wringer and I assume he's going to do the same to the woman he replaced me with.
