>Be me, lich>Chilling in my badass lich castle>Did some bad things to acheive it, but my goals are good>Wanted to have time to learn everything to make the world better>Studying some ancient books of medicine on my bone throne>Hear a noise down below>MagicMissile.spell>More "adventurers" trying to destroy me and take my hard-earned savings>Hear the most cringe inducing scream my nonexistent ears could experience>Look into my scrying orb>Some ass-ugly gnome being digested by my gelatinous waste disposal system>10/10 excellent value, worth the purchase>Another adventurer, a healer, just fails a saving throw>Knew those spikes would be a good investment>Hear banging on the door>EnchantedAxe.scroll>Door gets shattered and a big fucking barbarian rushes in>Fuck my non-life>He rolls a nat 20 and happens to hit my phylactery>Undeath was nice while it lasted>The brute plunders every chest of my book funds>Shits on my lawn before leaving with my stuff>Fucking adventurers
>>96882581>Be me, Beholder>Build a badass lair in a city I control>Study mortals to learn the ways of capitalism>Do some shady shit, but so is every mortal above me>Chilling taking a nap>My alarm spell goes off>Scry.scroll>Full party of chucklenuts coming to "kill" me again>Fuck, I had to wipe so many memories last time>They descend into my room>I spray them with every eye>Each one is about to die to a random beam>Suddenly the sneaky one appears from a hole in the ceiling>Drops something cold on me>Go to annihilate them only to pop out of all existence>No way to crawl back to the material plane>Stuck forever>I didn't do anything mortals weren't already doing!
>be zombie>urrrghhh urgghh braaains
>Bee
>>96882581What game?
>>96882581>Did some bad things to acheive it, but my goals are goodUh uh, suuuure.
>>96882581>be me, bing>chilling
>>96882581>be me>Smee>Cap'n is threatening suicide >For the third time this month
>>96882581>Bez me>Goblin maid for lich master>Cleaning some humie healer off da spikes when a shadow loomz over me>Think etch juz one uv da orcs so I keep cleaning like a good goblin maid who gets treats if she does a good jub>A large hand grabs me shoulder, and I see its a humie adventurer withought a shirt on and carrying a big bag o goldohshit.tapestry>I need a way to survive this "P-p-pweese adventurer. I'm just a witttle goblin. I dont wanna die. I can carry your stuff for you.">MFW
>>96882581>He rolls a nat 20 and happens to hit my phylacteryThe most retarded lich to ever exist.
>>96882581>You dirty lich! Did you really think you could evade your taxes just because you're dead? Well, you were wrong. The king wants his gold!
>>96882581>Be me, lich
>>96882581>Hear the most cringe inducing scream my nonexistent ears could experience>Look into my scrying orb>Some ass-ugly gnome being digested by my gelatinous waste disposal system>10/10 excellent value, worth the purchaseI lol'd at this part
