Always assume the rules work as you remember them from vidya. Insist you're right unless faced with direct rulebook citation of the contrary, when that happen apologize explaining you must have mixed things up with older edition.

>>96895845
Practical answer: Be honest and say what you said was a spur of the moment misconception.

Impractical answer: Read the book and gaslight yourself into having strong opinions on a smattering of random shit in it, while also glancing at the actual relevant rules. If you can sufficiently bitch about random things being unpleasant/overpowered/underpowered in other 3e games you've experienced, you might successfully bullshit these people into thinking you're a loon with dumb opinions, rather than a guy who misspoke in a conversation.

>>96895877
so, just hypothetically speaking:
what would be some things i could bitch about?

>>96895905
CR scaling. Saving throws. The class you picked being underpowered. Dice rolls screwing you over. Boring campaigns you've been forced through. Enemies you don't like fighting. Quests types you think suck. Cliches in the game.

If you're willing to push on the patience of your benefactors to sell the act: GM decision making; 'We didn't do shit like this at my table'; questionable player decisions.

When/if called out: if it seems like a subject of opinion, agree to disagree to prevent it turning into a debate where they figure out you're full of shit; if its a matter of fact (gameplay related) just claim that your DM didn't do things this way and leave it at that.

You do actually need to read the book though.

Why would a veteran player specifically be needed? I don't get it.

>>96895990
It's not because none of this ever happened. OP has no games or friends.

>>96895990
Expectations that the player knows the game, how to play, how to schedule for showing up consistently, and how to behave in a group.

>>96895845
Pick an unpopular class with unusual handicaps. That way you can feign ignorance of the rules. Later you can even claim your character is an isekaijin to explain his lack of local knowledge.

>>96895845
Im a 5e vet (laugh all you want)
>Monk is gimped but kensei and drunken fist monks are actually viable (if you multiclass cleric)
>Fuck mordekienan
>Cleric druid warlock OP
>paladin is actually a crit fishing passive buff class
>jumping (needs strength) and holding breath (needs con) are bullshit
>longswords (and especially rapiers) are bullshit
>magic item at level 1? Glowing (moontouched) weapon. No explicit bonus but legally its a magic weapon so it can hit ghosts
>Scrolls are just bad tattoos (get revivify)
>always take GWM, elven accuracy, polearm master or sentinel
>bring your 10ft pole, pack animal and hand tools
>your focus should be a necklace or such
>if you need components, build them into your focus
>if you need a weapon, get a warmage ruby so its also your focus
>healing (with spells and items) is shit, only do it if someone is literally about to die
>most spells are trap options
>chain warlocks get damage resistance from variant imps
>its usually better to fight than to run
>its always better to fight than to run into an unexplored room
>bounded accuracy and health bloat suck, you're chained to the curve
>the DMG should be burned

>>96895845
literary download BG3 and no life it.
Just consult the wiki or whatever for Liarians homebrew so you dont insta expose yourself.
If you need to know 3e play Pathfinder Kingmaker and just tell them you played Pathfinder 1e instead of 3e but they are similar enough.

>>96895845
read the rules (this puts you ahead of 90% of 5e players)

>>96895845
>Be OP
>Be a faggot
>Cry to random strangers online
Zoomers deserve the rope
>You gotta help me
Nobody has any obligation to your make-believe story, faglord

>>96896010
nah.

Not sure if small toy gun or really huge cat.

>>96896666
Who are you talking to?

>>96896666
what does "chained to the curve" mean? do you want the game to be badly balanced?

>>96896666
Holy SATAN!

>>96895956
Also try recruiting a mass of hirelings at the first opportunity and treat adventuring as a military operation (or banditry).

>>96895845
I don't believe this actually happened, why would they say they want a "veteran player" like they're hiring for a job or something? Especially if they're running some ultra entry level shit like 5e.

>>96896010
These are all things that anyone who's capable of functioning in society knows how to do, not specifically ttrpg players.

>>96901660
It means that the game design sucks from the very core and no amount of balancing will fix it.

>>96895845
Tell them it's been a while since you played then drop in a reference to Thoon.
Something like "Last time I played Thoon was still a thing."
If they've played since 3e they'll get it and you're in.

>>96896666
>Classes
Casters top the list, and monk is at the bottom. The specifics don't matter.
>Revivfy scroll, GWM, elven accuracy, PAM, sentinel
These are good options, but they're character specific, presenting them as blanket advice doesn't make sense.
>Magic item at level 1?
>Focus
Nobody gives a shit, anon.
>Bring your 10ft pole, pack animal and hand tools.
>Healing is shit.
>Most spells are trap options.
>Fighting is better than running.
Without getting into the nuance, sure.
>Variant imps give damage resistance
The advantage on saves against magic, while the imp is within 10 ft., was intended for NPCs so most DMs veto it.
>Fuck mordekienan
>Longswords (and especially rapiers) are bullshit
>Jumping (needs strength) and holding breath (needs con) are bullshit
>Bounded accuracy and health bloat suck, you're chained to the curve
>The DMG should be burned
Meds.

>>96895845
I'm gonna actually help you.
The game is obtuse, but basic conflict resolution, it boils down to one of three scenarios: combat, skill check, and magic
Combat proceeds as follows:
>Roll initiaive (a dex check) to determine turn order
>Player can move, act, and use a bonus action in a turn
>Acting is casting a spell or choosing to fight like a fucking jrpg
>Bonus actions include dashing, hiding, supplementary actions and spells certain classes get, and reactions
>Reactions include attacks of opportunity; you get a free attack if an enemy within 5 feet of you tries to leave combat with you
>It's aligned to a grid of 5 foot squares, learning this is like 99% of learning the game
>turns continue until one side murders the other
>When you lose all your HP, youcan make a death saving through (con check), if you fail 3 of them in a row, you die for good, if you are healed at any point during this, you're fine
Skill checks:
>DM calls for a skill check
>Beat check to do thing, if tied, defense always wins
Magic:
>separated into two major catagories
>Instant = spell is cast instantly
>Concentration = requires a spell check (your spell modifier...which is just your casting stat+10+proficiency bonus, which is determiend by your level)
>Every turn, it requires another spell check to keep the spell up
Leveling:
Every class has a track that details exactly what you get every level, the only choices you get are attribute improvements, (you get 2 more points to spend anywhere, to a max of 20) or you can opt to take a feat instead (most feats get a +1 attribute point anyway). You get a certain amount of spell slots per level of spell. Just pick them from a list.

How to make a character not suck:
>numbers literally do not matter, it's allabout thresholds
>Your attributes determine the saving throw, sub 16 in an attribute means it will never go off
>Your goal is to hit 20 in your main stat to do anything remotely good.
>Until then, you suck.

>>96895845
binge critical role, of course

Simple.

Read the Book.

>>96895845
>using outdated greentext format that hasn't been popular since 2016
>worried about 5e system mastery
Power Word: Faggot