A bold strategy, cotton, let's see if it works out for him.

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>Be OP.
>Be a nogames faggot.
>Post a gay thread on /tg/.

Rough draft: part 1
>So this happened last night and I’m still shaking.
>For context, I (32M, forever DM, professional storyteller, amateur therapist, and all-around good guy) have been running a homebrew campaign for my group for about three years. I’ve spent thousands of hours crafting a living, breathing world with deep lore, morally complex factions, and NPCs so realistic my players regularly cry.
Everyone loves it.
>Everyone except That Guy.
>You know the type. Let’s call him Chad.
>Chad shows up late every session, never brings snacks, meta-games constantly, and once asked if he could “seduce the dragon.” He plays a chaotic neutral rogue named “Shadowblade Nightdoom” and somehow thinks that means he can derail every scene.
>Anyway.
>Last session, the party finally reached the capital city of Aetherwyn, a place I spent literal months designing. Intricate politics. Complex social intrigue. Multiple branching story paths.
>Chad immediately says: “I steal from the king.”
>Everyone groans.
>I gently remind him that the king is surrounded by elite guards, high-level mages, and divine wards. He smirks and says, “I rolled a nat 20.”
>Now, I calmly explain that skill checks don’t override reality and—
>He interrupts me.
>“Bro, nat 20 means I succeed. That’s the rules.”
>At this point, the table is silent. The tension is thick. I can feel my emotional intelligence activating.

>>97541500
>be
>me
>playing newest d&d (don't ask him what it is, he doesn't know)
>find OP combo (never provide a reference, be as vague as possible)
>dm is mildly angry but spreads his cheeks for it!
>says only works on le natty twenny!
>guess what I roll!!!
>NATTY
<FUCKING
>TWENNY!!!!!!!!
just find some way to insert some quirk chungus owlbear in there and maybe something about checkmating christians

>>97541526
>So I take a deep breath and say:
>“Okay. You try.”
>I describe how Shadowblade lunges forward… and immediately triggers twelve overlapping magical defenses, gets grappled by celestial constructs, restrained by enchanted chains, silenced by a divine decree, and knocked unconscious in a single round.
>Chad starts arguing.
>“That’s not fair.”
>So I gently, patiently, and respectfully explain—over the next twenty minutes—how consequences, realism, narrative cohesion, and collaborative storytelling work.
>Everyone is staring at me like I’m delivering a TED Talk.
>Then Chad explodes.
>“This is railroading! You’re a trash DM! I should be allowed to do anything I want!”
>The group gasps.
>I stay calm.
>I look him directly in the eye and say:
>“D&D is about collective fun. If your fun requires ruining everyone else’s experience, maybe this table isn’t for you.”
>Dead silence.
>Chad turns red. He starts packing up his dice. On the way out, he mutters something about “bad DMs” and “power trips.”
>The door slams.
>Then something magical happens.
>One player actually stands up and says, “That was the most mature thing I’ve ever seen.”
>Another says, “You’re the best DM I’ve ever had.”
>Someone offers to buy me pizza for life.
>We ended up playing for three more hours, had the best session of the entire campaign, uncovered a major political conspiracy, and several players told me afterward that the game finally felt safe again.
>So yeah.
>Trust your instincts. Respect yourself. Don’t tolerate toxic players.

>>97541530
>just find some way to insert some quirk chungus owlbear in there and maybe something about checkmating christians
this and add it shit like "Emotional intelligence" or call yourself "an empath"

>>97541500
Fuck off neckbeardia, this is just embarrasing.

>im going to mock lame people

Just makes you lamer.
Punch up stupid

>>97541541
Anon, that was pretty good ngl.

>>97542592
someone feels targeted

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>>97542602

>>97541500
Show us the Reddit account you’ll be posting this to

>>97542522
This doesn't seem like a neckbeardia post. Hell, do they post on 4chan? Most of the time when they do videos they just check /tg/ for a good post or two but end up talking about something else for 3 hours. To be fair, I can't fully blame them. I mean /tg/ has been shit due to people not purging the reddit/bluesky tourists when they expose themself as such out.

>>97542726
Any content farm thread is a neckbeardia thread.

Rick and Morty was actually based though. He called (((them))) out with his High on Life game and they falsely defamed him for it.

>>97541500
You don't need a seperate thread for that. Just find any thread on the first page of /tg/

>>97541530
Not really reddit, looks like misremembered old copypasta.
>>97541526
>>97541541
You captured the redditness.

>>97541500
>CHRISTOFASCIST MAGAT JOINS DND PARTY
>THIS IS A VERY SAFE ANTIFASCIST, PRO TRANS, BLACK SAFE SPACE
>PARTY ROLLS FOR PERSUASION TO MAKE HIS WHITE MALE FIGHTER CHARACTER TAKE HRT
>EVREYONE ROLLS NAT TWENTY
>OUR TWANSWOMAN DM MAKE THE FASCISTS CHARACTER BLACK, MUSLIM, UNDOCUMENTED, TRANS AND GAY
>MAGAT LITERALLY STARTS CRYING
>CALLS US WOKE, CALLS US NIGGERS, HEIL'S HITLER
>MY TRANS GIRLFRIENDS BVLL COMES OUT AND DRAGS HIM OUT OF THE STORE
>BEFORE THE BIGOT IS EXILED, I CALL OUT "TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS"
>THE ENTIRE STORE CLAPS
>STORE OWNER GIVES ME A BRAND NEW ANDOR FUNKO POP TO CELEBRATE MY BRAVE ACT OF RESISTANCE
>THE ENTIRE STORE IS CLAPPING
>THIS IS HOW THE REVOLUTION BEGINS

>anyway, plz upvote now or your a fascist.

>>97542738
Meh, I rather deal with "Neckbeardia" threads than those woke tourists spamming their woke shit on here. At least you can have some fun posting to that shit.

>>97542780
Yeah, but he also was on their side for a good part of that shit. Like J.K. Rowling, they're not based that just had one good take and the woke don't like any one their side to not be in lockstep with the MESSAGE. Especially anyone who big and powerful. Unlike J.K, the Rick and Morty Creator was able to get fucked over by Adult Swim and his staff out of all his projects. (Hints, why after being cleared he still blacklisted. They knew it was BS they just needed a reason to take his IPs.)

>>97541517
>On sighting a shit thread I immediately gave the order for sage, that's my style sir!

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Part 1
>This literally just happened and I’m still shaking.
>For context, I (29M, software engineer, amateur philosopher, narrative architect, and empath) have been DMing a homebrew campaign for two years. I handcrafted an immersive world with nuanced politics, morally complex factions, and deep emotional arcs.
>My players? Absolute goblins.
>Constantly mocking my voices. Talking over scenes. Throwing snacks at me. Making “touch grass” jokes. One guy — let’s call him Kyle — called me “Dungeon Virgin” so often that it basically became my name.
Kyle is the kind of dude who thinks being loud is a personality. Shows up late, smells like Monster energy and unwashed hoodie, and argues about rules he’s never read. Every time I tried to do emotional storytelling, he’d derail it with memes.
>The rest of the group enabled him.
>Last night was the emotional climax of a two-year campaign arc.
>A tragic fallen hero. Thunder outside. Tears in the eyes of NPCs. Deep, meaningful silence.
>Kyle interrupts:
>“Bro hurry up, nobody cares.”
>Someone throws popcorn at me.
>Kyle says
>“Do the cringe voice again.”
>Everyone laughs.
>Something inside me broke.
>I calmly close my notebook.
>“Roll initiative.”
>They’re confused.
>The villain raises his hand. Ancient wards activate. Their magic items die. Their characters are overwhelmed, captured, and dragged before the tribunal of the realm.
>They start yelling.
>Kyle stands up, gets in my face, calls me a loser, a nobody, says I’ll die alone, and goes on this weird rant about how fantasy is stupid and only idiots believe in “imaginary worlds and imaginary meaning.”
>So I stay calm.
>And then I introduce him
>From the shattered walls emerges Professor Snugglebeard, an ancient owlbear guardian, blessed by the gods of kindness and narrative justice. He is ENORMOUS. His feathers are soft. His eyes glow with gentle wisdom. He speaks in a deep, soothing voice
>The room is dead silent.

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>>97546620
>Professor Snugglebeard looks at the party and says:
>“In all my centuries, I have learned one truth:
Kindness is strength. Imagination is power. And cruelty is the refuge of the small.”
>Kyle scoffs.
>“Bro, it’s a stupid animal.”
>That’s when I unleash the full TED Talk.
>I calmly dismantle every argument he’s ever made. I explain collaborative storytelling. Emotional intelligence. Escapism as a valid form of meaning-making. How fantasy has shaped human culture for thousands of years. I cite mythology, psychology, and philosophy.
>It’s like a perfect storm of logic.
>He tries to interrupt.
>I keep going.
>The table is silent.
>I finish with:
>“You don’t get to mock people for finding meaning. You don’t get to bully creativity. And you definitely don’t get to treat your friends like garbage just to feel powerful.”
>Absolute. Silence.
>One player whispers, “Damn.”
>Another says, “Holy shit.”
>Kyle looks like he’s buffering.
>Then Professor Snugglebeard gently places one massive paw on Kyle’s character’s head and says:
>“You may yet grow.”
>Kyle sits down.
>I dismiss the session.
>I tell them all they’re no longer welcome at my table.
>Kyle laughs and says I’ll never find another group.
>That’s when I reveal I already have one — artists, writers, respectful players who actually care about storytelling.
>They brought snacks.
>They took notes.
>They cried when Professor Snugglebeard sacrificed himself to save a village of goblin orphans.
>One player hugged me.
>They said it was the best D&D they’d ever experienced.
>Kyle texted me an apology at 3am.
>I didn’t respond.

Chuds? Owned Updoots plz

>>97546634
This made me uncomfortable.

>>97546847
This is the natural human reaction to a redditor

>>97542616
Take me back to the good ol’ days

>me dm
>all of time
>game time come
>famouse friend i long remember
>then him
>he that guy
>he KYLE
>eh come to table with a binder
>ask, "kyle what is that"
>"it my toon anon"
>ask, "kyle why bindor??"
>"it contains refereances to powers and items for quick; refs."
>ask, "... why so mauch? Is lvl 1 game.."
>"my toon parent was advanturer and most is hims INHAIRATENTS"
>he proceeds to bitch cry when im tell him i wonst let to having bulshit adanvtages
>also hiss parents is kill
Why is this aloud?

>>97541526
putting shadowblade nightdoom in my game

>>97542592
punching retards is fun and relaxing

>>97547089
Shadowlame nightcoon has nothing on my toon Deathficator. Get shit on bitch.

>>97541526
>>97541541
Using LLM’s is cheating considering they train on Reddit

>>97541500
Just go read /r/4chan.

>>97547109
>The chad can smell the wireback bitlickers from his post

>>97541526
>I can feel my emotional intelligence activating.
kek