ITT: Games that are pure, unadulterated torture
>>97663552Honest for me it has to be D&D. The promise of that game far exceeds delivery. Imagine a drinking game with hundreds of pages of rules. The only sober person is the guy with the rule book and the game is to argue with him all night.
Cards against humanity and all the horrendous knock off adult card games it spawnedIts never funny or clever
>>97663650the bad part with D&D is not even the rules volume. the issue is that 99% of these rules concern combat and magic and the remaining 1% is a post-it with "the DM makes some shit up and rolls some die, who cares"
>>97663552I can't recall the name but I played one about trying to catch communist subverters in Hollywood, and it was so unbalanced that the communist players could not lose even when they were actively trying to throw. Wild stuff.>>97663681Unironic skill issue I'm afraid.
>>97663704Sounds like a shitty clone of Secret Hitler.>>97663552Forgetting the name of it, but it's a card game where a lot of the cards alter the rules and the game doesn't have a wincon until someone finds one in the deck. It's just something you do do burn time and chat, but mechanically it's a terrible game
This fuckass Batman board game. In the boardgame club I was, we kept it exclusively as an 'ass' game to haze new members with.>Goal is to collect keys on the purple tiles around the board to 'unlock the middle'>to get out of spawn, you need to roll a dice/play a card with your character on it>if you can't, tough luck, waste your turn>around the board are 'rumble' tiles>when someone falls on a rumble tile, a battle royale or a 1 v 1 starts>if you lose, you lose a key and you get kicked back to spawn>eventually the game turns into everyone trying to stall a player>>97663552Monopoly can be fun if you play with a turn/time limit.Makes 'surviving the game' another kind of win you can get when it's obvious one player is kicking everyone's ass.>>97663681yes. strongly agreed. I feel like 'Joking Hazard' works fine cause it's more visual though.
>>97663727oh I played one of those. It's called 'Fluxx' if it's the one I played.
>>97663735Reminds me of when I was in college and we were playing resistance with too many players that were way too passive so we added a commissar role to remove people from the game. It got fun after that. Called a buddy to bring a nerf gun to shoot the executed person with.>>97663749Yah, Fluxx and all of it's variants are terrible. The more you think about it as a game, the worse it is.
>>97663735That's just shittier ludo
>>97663552I think you won.There's no greater torture than being subjected to Monopoly.I'd unironically rather listen to five hours straight of theater kid story shit than play Monopoly.
>>97663681Ah shit, I forgot about CAH.Utter testicular cancer that is.
>>97663727Yeah but games don't need win-cons. Win-cons are just dice rolls.
>>97663552>One player goes bankrupt, richest player wins>If you own two of a color, you can force the owner of the third (player or bank) lot to sell it to you.>Enforce the "Auction if you don't buy" ruleThere, I fixed monopoly.
>>97664055>>If you own two of a color, you can force the owner of the third (player or bank) lot to sell it to youGayest shit in the world
A game so awful even the pets looking on were spiritually harmed in the process.
>>97664083Playing Monopoly is already really gay.
>>97664091Theres no reason to make it gayer then.
>>97663552The original version of Monopoly (The Landlords' Game) wasn't even meant to be fun; it was supposed to be a teaching aid on the need for property taxes.
if you cheat at monopoly in prison people start throwing hands
>>97664194A prison fist fight is probably more fun than playing monopoly
>>97663552At least there are decisions to be made in Monopoly.
>>97663650>>97663696Same, my issue specifically is that d&d in particular is a very narrow game (skirmish focused, battle of attrition) but since it's the de facto face of the hobby there's all sort of gamers (the mmo addict, the tgc player, the animu/capeshit enthusiast, the theater kid, the wargamer, the 90s simulationist autist, the historyfag, the erper, etc...) ALL converging in this shared ground making a mess of assumptions and expectations.I rarely have enjoyed taking part of any (post tsr)d&d game unless i was the guy GMing.
>>97664034Lmao, that's what it's called in English? In German it is called "Mensch, ärgere dich nicht." which translates to "Man, don't be too upset." Yes, that phrase is the actual name of the game.
>>97665094Candy land has a purpose though. You're teaching kids to take turns and play fair.
>>97663650stop playing 4th edition
>>97665672Monopoly has a purpose as well, it's showing people how an unregulated market works.It's a terrible game, but it's somewhat educational.
>>97663681>Try out this new thing called CAH with some casual friends I play vidya with>So you make up funny things with these cards, huh?>Try to make amusing implications like 'people might be exposed to OBAMA' heh very very witty>Everyone else puts together 'having sex with a dead dog SHIT' and 'things I say to my wife SEX WITH GRANDPA' >They all have a great time>I don't understand why they are laughing>Drift apart because whenever I was around them afterwards I saw everything in context of them laughing inherently at the word "butthole">tfw for the first time in my life I felt like the least autistic person in the room and it was awful
>>97665599In Poland it's called "Chinese man", but I have no idea why.
>>97663552A game of Monopoly is vicious, fun, and usually lasts under an hour IF...... you bother to play by the WRITTEN RULES and not that "rules" generations of fucking simpletons THINK are the rules.For example: Fines do NOT go in the middle of the board to be awarded to whomever lands on Free Parking. If a player declines to purchase a property they landing on, the bank IMMEDIATELY auctions it off. The number of houses and hotels are FIXED, once all the houses are bought there are no others. A player landing on mortgaged property can pay the mortgage and take the property. That's just a sample of the actual rules.Try playing the game the way it was written. You'll be surprised.
>>97663552The moment players learn the "meta" it becomes a very boring game
>>97668341That's how most hidden roles game go.Secret Hitler is the same; there's a browser based version that players have spent the last 5 years optimizing the fun out off.
>>97668341I just don't lie when I play that game. Really throws people off.
>>97663681Ransom Notes is pretty fun.
>>97666519How did the game get so much error propagation with basic rules?
>>97670052>>How did the game get so much error propagation with basic rules?The usual soft-hearted, soft-headed, suicidal empathy that has led to the enshittifcation of most nearly everything. A game should be nice, no one should get their fee-fees hurt, and everyone should win. Right?Monopoly has been around in its current form for nearly a century, anon. It began life as "The Landlord's Game" with various handmade versions making the rounds of 1920s college campuses. It was supposed to "teach" people about the need for property taxes, rent control, and other progressive issues of the time. Even in the watered down Parker Bros. version that brought the game to the general public's attention, the players were supposed to act cut throat, fuck each other over, and drive each other into bankruptcy to win. It was a deliberately nasty game that produced deliberately harsh results to deliberately "teach" social lessons. It's game that a very tough Depression era 1930s culture wouldn't have blinked at. After all, they used terms like nigger in everyday conversation without a care.Now imagine it's post-WW2, you're a SAHM, your home-from-war-hubby is at work, and your children are playing Monopoly on a rainy day. Little Susie lands on little Johnny's Boardwalk complete with a hotel. She hands over all her cash, mortgages all her properties, and still can't pay the rent. Johnny takes it all, Susie's out of the game, and Johnny laughs in triumph only for the crying and screaming to start. Mommy steps delivers some June Cleaver "lesson" about "fairness" and suggests a few rules changes to 1) keep feelings from being hurt, 2) keep the little bastards quiet, and 3) make the game last longer so she can get some day drinking done.The house rules that too many simpletons think are the real rules were created with the best of intentions but we all know what road is paved with those.
Let us lay down tiles for an hour an let the Dragon randomly determine who wins.
>>97666162>He is unable to laugh at the weird question-response combinations made/implied in CaH.I'm sorry anon, you still were the most autistic person in the room.
>>97666162>>97670257Can confirm. Normies love childish, lowbrow, "lolrandumb" shock "humor
>>97670456I mean, so do people who frequent 4chan.
>>97663552Ark Nova and any of the similarly huge eurogames out there that take hours to get through and have you barely even interacting with each other. There are probably worse ones about this out there than Ark Nova, but that's the one that showed me how much of a miserable slog they can be for no good reason.
Those point salad Eurogames where the board is a cluttered, ugly mess of icons and symbols. There's always someone in my board gaming club who brings one and wants to play it and they all feel exactly the same to me. I can't even name names because they all blur together in my head.
>>97663552right but that's because you're playing it wrongit's got operations that you must perform - roll dice, advance, obey cards - and one other rule, which is you are free to agree anything between yourselves as players that you wish toif it's torture, just gang up with the other losing players and pool your wealth to pay fines and get back on your feet; only money from the bank has to be paid back, only cards purchased when you land on them have to cost face valuedo what you need to and keep the economy going, or sit around screaming at each other because things are going wrong for everybody except the rich guy you're all pretty sure is stealing from the bankit's the perfect game, so simple a child could play it better than you
>>97666162>>97664040>>97663681If you want a party game like CAH except actually good, try Apples to Apples.Same type of gameplay, but you can actually create combinations that aren't just "lol sex" or "lol dead babies".
>>97663681This was pretty fun hanging out with buddies after high school, idk why you all seethe about it
>>97666519>A player landing on mortgaged property can pay the mortgage and take the property.I'm gonna need sauce on that. I've been playing this thing since the 90s, both tabletop and vidya, and I've never seen this happen. >>97670248True. I remember playing Sorry! with my 5yo little sister and houseruling that the Sorry! cards could just be a simple move pawn from Start because she'd cry losing her pawn otherwise. They've since updated the cards to have Sorry!s alternatively be a move 4 forward, and 2s don't give you an extra turn.
>>97675668Hey, my parents had this exact box. Weird to see it again after all this time.
>>97663681>>97666162>>97673283it all depends on the people you play with. CAH is a great social experiment because you can easily gauge the mental capacity of your players. makes it painfully obvious that racism/dark humor is a high IQ trait
>>97675769It may seem that way, to someone who cannot capitalise.
>>97678795>complaining about not phone posting shiggydiggy dumb faggot
>>97680074>random wordsRebuttal
