>"That was a warning, outsiders."*Teleports away*
>>97785193AUGH OW OW OW GIVE ME THE FUCKING COOKIES ELF, I--FUCK, OW
>>97785193Well damn. There goes another 1,000 GP worth of diamonds.
>>97785193Dave. Get the matches.
>>97785193What was the warning? I don't get it. Is this a social commentary on how wizard types and their unnatural reality bending inevitably cause strain on the universe and so all magic capable people should be killed? Because while I agree some Wizards should die, surely there is a better way than slaughter. Maybe we could just have some form of Spell Stones help regulate magic and that we could centralize those spell stones into a magical citadel. Like I get it. I've see first hand what out of control evocation can do but it seems a bit silly to just ignore all the good Wizards could bring to the world.
>>97785233Nice try Cornslave, but we Elves have long mastered the art of SUSTAINABLE OLD GROWTH SILVICULTURE, which includes controlled burns and non-invasive firebreaks! Because we have an average IQ four standard deviations higher than wheat-domesticated brickmonkeys, your petty arson will only encourage MILD ECOSYSTEM REGENERATION in our 750,000 acre multi-biome woodland home, which will then grow back even MORE beautiful and fertile than before as the enriched ashes are absorbed back into the soil.You've fallen for our clever ruse again. Now return to your mud-walled termite mount home, and dig an IRRIGATION DITCH and engage in some PRIMITIVE GRASS MONOCULTURE. I'm going to go back to my K-TYPE WIFE and eat SIX KILOGRAMS OF ELKFLESH like God intended.
>>97785279Dwarven false flag post, elves would never use m*tric measurements
>>97785302If a Dwarf ever wrote the word "Silviculture" he would burst into flames.
>>97785302>>97785314I'm hearing a lot of talking when I should be hearing BURNING THIS FUCKING FOREST DOWN!
>>97785314A TRVE son of the mountain would gladly endure those flames for a chance to shit on elves.
>>97785326I dunno boss it's a deciduous forest, late March, even if the elf was lying It'd probably just mosaic through the combs until it starts raining.
>>97785193I say "God, that was so cool" while biting my lip, to sow discord amongst the party.I will later flirt with the Elf, both because he's plot-important and to fuck with everyone else.
>>97785412You remind me of that one player in my group, who was so obviously a GM shill she kept trying to suck up to NPCs
>>97785193Fake post. Everyone knows that PC's can't die after one attack. You need at least two hits and multiple saves to make them close to death.
>>97785193What game?
>>97785457the wizard was a hireling
>>97785193>Current game is literally us escorting a diplomat to bring peace to the region following the death of the emperor and the rise of his much more civilized sonHoo boy...
Ok DM, we get the hint, we shouldnt be adventuring. (Breaks out Settles of Cataan)
>>97785193Gandalf noooooooo
>>97785193Why do people draw or animate characters doing this? Do they think holding a sword in an incorrect and useless manner looks cool or are they just going for different?
>>97786511Everything you think is cringe is actually cool.Activate your inner thirteen-year-old.
>>97785193Still not as humiliating as the party cleric getting cored by a Yuan-Ti archer volley
>>97785193What is the context for this?Be detailed and specific, including the game this happened in.
>>97785193Tree? What tree?
>>97785279Dave. Get the salt.
>>97786511Looking cool is literally all that matters. Yes, even in real life.
>>97785193>Burns down the entire forest and sells his womenfolk to ugly bastard merchantsLet this be a warning, insider
>>97786825None of the people who say this have ever looked cool in their lives.
>>97786511Because it's cool and elves make it work, dirty baby.
>>97785279>Cornslave, brickmonkey, ditch-diggersGimme more slurs against humans
>>97786511It is beyond Human understanding
>>97787339>t. clinically uncool
>>97789208Cornslave is great, and you could do a few permutations on that. Wheatboy comes to mind.>Cornslave>Wheatboy>Hoer>Grassgrower>Miller>Plow-Puller>Shovelman>UngulateAnd of course one they can share with the Dwarves,>Digger
>>97791270How dare you utter the D-Slur, that is OUR word, and no one gave you a D-Word pass.
>>97791364I'm a Quarrydroon, it's my word too.
>>97785279It is rare that I see something this great on /tg/ these days.
In the games I run, I usually give elves animal ears and animal tails, and reserve the traditional pointy-eared look for half-elves.Elves already have nature-themed associations, so I do not find this to be too great a stretch.And yes, I often wind up giving them touches of East Asian culture, mostly China due to gacha brain rot.
>>97792433Strange pasta
>>97785193>killing them>themIf that's how my wizard player identifies, then I'm glad he's dead.
>>97791270I always like longdwarf>obsessed with gold and hide themselves in their quaint stone hovelsBrickrat too.
>>97791270I want to force digger as hard as possible because I know people on twitter will start getting upset about it like they did about clanker, since it sounds like a real world slur we all know and love.
>>97789208Dire halfling
>>97792578>identifies
>>97785193No, now this is personal you faggot.>Campaign is now devoted to one-upping that Legolas-wannabe who didn't get the memo the 2000s were 17 years ago
>>97792971That'd be a dorf. Come on.
>>97792846>it sounds like a real world slur we all know and love.Which one? Nothing comes to mind.
>elf materializes in front of party >dwarf barbarian immediately jumps him and knocks him outNever trust the pointy ears
>>97793905>stubby legs ever being quicker than an elfGet the rocks out of your bread cuz they're damaging your brain.
>>97791270>Hoer
>>97793864Dago, obviously.
>>97785193>"Actually, that was a stabbing, insider."
>>97794389How do you stab someone outside?
>>97786617Based
>>97785193>caste revive>I told you we shouldn't come to the northern lands, the elves are all traitorous and heretical niggers
>>97793486>That'd be a dorf.You mean pink goblins?
>>97785193Except the wizard, if the player has any brains has some spell he can cast as a reaction. Now the he most likely failed to kill the wizard, and is locked in combat. Party rolls initiative. Better hope he isn't the last, because if he is, he will get ganged on by the party.
>>97792578It's funny that people like you whine about how easily offended everyone else is and then lose your minds over shit like "them."
>>97785193>party was lost when this happens>wizard was a dmpcUhh. Warning for what?
>>97789208spoon ears
