Your char and party is easily captured and stripped naked and removed from all items and thrown into a DEAD MAGIC abandoned parking lot! Now they have to face the strongest Serial Killers of history who nobody knows and never got caught...Barry McLowan, Lv99 Thief, Age 85- Awarded Strongest Serial Killer of Wichita Falls in 1964- 17 confirmed kills- Weapon: Kitchen knife- Ult: 1,000,000 Stabs- Catch Phrase: 'Ever heard of death by 1,000 cuts, well I can do 1,000,000 haha!'Ching Peng, Lv99 Thief, Age 84- Awarded Strongest Serial Killer of Nanjing in 1961- 20 confirmed kills- Weapon: Bolter- Ult: Like a Cow- Catch Phrase: 'We're all basically cows in the end... time to get bolted like in Old Country Men!'Abuzale Mamuzale, Lv99 Thief, Age 87- Awarded Strongest Serial Killer of Uganda in 1958- 19 confirmed kills- Weapon: Meat hook- Ult: White Meat Whirlwind- Catch Phrase: 'I've got a lot of meat to eat!'Luigi Batalione, Lv99 Thief, Age 90- Awarded Strongest Serial Killer of Venice in 1959- 19 confirmed kills- Weapon: Oar- Ult: Poseidon Water Gondola- Catch Phrase: 'Poseidon god of ocean and sun and moon and stars... give me everything...'Goal? Just get out of the parking lot... but you'll die! Basically every DND fails this... everyone thinks he's special, but you're not!
Sounds like a job for my mate's Call of Ch'thulhu character from 2009 who put all his chargen points into "Headbutt".
>>97868369What system? Cause at those advanced ages, those geriatrics would probably have all kinds of age related movement penalties and would probably never catch up if everyone just kept a move from one end of the parking lot to the other.
>>97868369I tell them their grandkids aren't coming to visit and they shit themselves and die of depression.
>>97868369What a stupid fucking post
>>97868369My party are all armed and armoured young men in their physical primes. Four elderly serial killers won't be a lethal threat, but it will give them pause and delay their adventures by a few minutes to dispatch them and loot the bodies.
>>97871909>easily captured and stripped naked and removed from all items and thrown into a DEAD MAGIC
Is there like a medication you usually take that you didn't take today?
The Play-By-Play of Your AnnihilationRound 1: The Wizard's GambitThe Wizard, panicking and forgetting the "Dead Magic" sign at the entrance, screams "Fireball!"Nothing happens. He is now standing there with his hands in the air like he's trying to catch a fly ball. Barry McLowan smiles and covers the 30ft distance in a blink. 1,000,000 Stabs is an exaggeration. It's only about 17 quick jabs to the femoral artery and solar plexus. The Wizard crumples, the first to realize that a Level 99 Thief's Sneak Attack doesn't require Find Familiar. It just requires you to be helpless.Round 2: The Barbarian's RageThe Barbarian roars. He's big. He's naked. He's angry. He charges Ching Peng.Ching Peng sighs, raises the Bolter, and fires. "Like a Cow." The THWUMP of the captive bolt pistol is sickeningly final. It doesn't penetrate the skull—it concusses the brain into soup through sheer kinetic force. The Barbarian's Rage doesn't stop brain damage. He takes one more step out of momentum, then his legs forget how to work. He hits the ground like a dropped sack of cement.Round 3: The Rogue's DashThe Rogue thinks: "I'm one of them! I can sneak out!"He dives behind a car, rolling under the chassis. It's a good plan. Unfortunately, Luigi Batalione is standing in the puddle. The Rogue crawls through the puddle. Luigi Poseidon Water Gondola's the Oar directly into the back of the Rogue's skull. It's not a gondola ride; it's blunt force trauma delivered with the precision of a man who navigated Venetian canals and knows exactly how much pressure breaks a neck against the concrete floor of an abandoned parking garage.
>>97872261Round 4: The Paladin's VowThe Paladin stands. He has no armor, no shield, no sword, no divine smite. He has only his Oath. He raises his fists in a boxer's stance.Abuzale Mamuzale chuckles. He starts spinning the meat hook. White Meat Whirlwind.The chain wraps around the Paladin's wrist. There is a tug, a sickening pop, and the Paladin is dragged across the greasy cement floor toward the rusted bumper of a 1987 Honda Civic where the hook is secured. "White Meat," Abuzale explains to the dying Paladin, "is the tender part. Pork shoulder. You run. I pull."The ConclusionYou're in a Dead Magic parking lot. You are not special. You are a 3rd-level character with 24 HP and a +2 Proficiency Bonus facing four Level 99 Thieves with Ults that are just descriptive ways of saying "I kill you now."The only sound left in the parking lot is the drip-drip-drip of the Paladin's blood into the water puddle, and Luigi Batalione muttering, "Grazie, Poseidon."Goal Failed. TPK. Roll new characters. Next time, maybe don't let the 85-year-old man with the kitchen knife get close enough to monologue.
>>97868369>>97872261>>97872263one of the better OPs on /tg/
>>97871979Oh right. They're still violent athletic specimens, up against a group of frail old men. One of them is a monk and his unarmed technique should be dangerous, magic or no.
>>97868369>>97872261>>97872263OP, I sincerely and for your own sake hope this was written by ChatGPT.
>>97868369> 1 000 000 stabsThe thousand cuts is torture into an art, as a combat form, this is peak innefficiency.> All human aged "crippled fucks"> Each supposedly got over 5 levels per confirmed kill, none strike particularly prone to non-lethal questing or kill without recognition. So "level" is a pretty meaningless term.> Parking lot, not a maze, not hazardous terrain.Any experienced martial artist, anywhere near his prime, could probably gets you out of there. Anyone able to disarm and use its opponent's weapon. Anyone with a power that isn't magic (Psionic, mutant abilities, alien biology, divine essence, Force Powers and, this is rule-bending because possibly an "item", cybernetic augments). Or just a really lucky motherfucker in some systems...And that's assuming 80+ y.o. guys can still use their weapons effectively and take a punch.
>>97873582Dead magic disables psionics too.https://www.d20srd.org/srd/psionic/psionicPowersOverview.htm#psionicsMagicTransparency
>>97868369System I play doesn't have levels, my saiyan goes Ikari and pulverizes all of them because they're still just normal fucking humans with a power level of 10 and also they're old as shit.To say nothing of the rest of the party who also don't use magic, hell one of them is a cyborg frieza race character, the other's a fish-man built like a brick shithouse, and the last one's a ninja who even without ki could just snap their frail old necks.
>>97873606Ikaris from Eternals?
>>97872261>>97872263>Barry crosses one foot…and trips due to advanced age and bad hips>Wizard takes the knife Barry just dropped and stabs him>Peng struggles to lift Bolter pistol due to crippling arthritis>Shot goes wild and wrist snaps like a brittle twig from one shot>Peng spends the next ten minutes screaming in agony and struggling to put the gun in his mouth with his other hand to end his suffering>Luigi lifts oar up…and falls forward due to the weight being too much for his old man constitution>Drowns to death in puddle>Paladin and Abuzale stare down>Abuzale chuckles…and then keels over and dies due to aids>Bewildered party strolls out of parking lot>Poseidon comes in from the local Captain D's and sees four dead old men in an abandoned parking lot and goes “What in the me happened here?”
>>97874673They are literally level 99.
>>97874690No system was stated, so level 99 means nothing compared to old age or aids.
This is just Delta Green.
>>97874626Ikari from Dragonball Super. It's a DB game. I'm playing a Saiyan. It's not a magic ability, it doesn't require equipment, it is a biological ability. It's genetic.
>>97874690Name a system where the level goes up to 99 then. Most of then stop at 20, some at 30, a few at 40, and the bulk of all TTRPGs don't even have the concept of levels.
>>97868369Ha ha! You fool! My Level 999 Wizard always brings along a pendant of anti-DEAD MAGIC embedded into his rectum. (Too deep to be found with a cavity search so don’t even try it dork). His first action is…”Mass Charm!” And since his level is ten times higher than the serial killers, they all instantly fail! Now that they are his willing slaves, my Level 999 wizards casts his favorite spell: Widogast’s Transmogrification! Since the serial killers are all loyal to him they of course consent to the spell. After which my Level 999 wizards casts reshaped them all into hot young big tittied yanderes. Once this is done, he leaves the parking lot, laughing as he goes to sell these sluts to some desperate nerd for a tidy profit. But wait! I hear OP ask. How can a talisman of anti-DEAD MAGIC exist? How can a magic artifact that suppresses something that turns off magic possibly work? In answer, I ask you refer to the picture.
