The King asks you for sexual gratification in return for the supplies you need. What do you do?
>>97876122I let him suck my dick, for the good of the team.
>>97876122Am I Griffith?
Realistically, if the king asks you're not really in any position to decline. Despite what our modern girlboss mentality makes us think
>>97876122How hot is he?
>>97876122Sure. I'll even jerk off the GM on the spot to keep character roleplay going.
>>97876163Realistically, a medieval-esque feudal king will not be an absolute and unquestionable monarch.
>>97876122Wouldn't killing royal sperm cells be some form of regicide, though?
>>97876122Tell the GM to jerk off before the game, not during
>>97876256Only if the sperm cells are invested with regency over something.>>97876240Depends entirely on time and place. Some were. Some were barely even figureheads. Most were somewhere in between. Also depends where you were within the kingdom. Even a figurehead might have had absolute authority in his palace.
>>97876122This is why we have a bard, just let her handle it.
>>97876122What game are you talking about?
>>97879305Depraved sexual content, so obviously fatal.
>>97876122I tell the dm they aren't allowed to dm anymore then not so politely ask him to leave.
>>97876122What does this have to do with dungeon crawling?
>>97876256"Countless royal heirs perished by my hand! (the king made me jerk him off)"
>>97876122Ask the court if this is usual conduct for this king.If it is, and he regularly bangs in exchange for wealth, and the people accept this behavior from their ruler, then when in rome.If it is not, or it is usual but the people are unhappy with it, then it's a bad idea to give such a malign preposition to the extremely powerful outlander who is more than capable of overthrowing you. I was trading for those supplies to be humane. If you're not being humane back, I could always have taken them. That was always within my power.
>>97876122>Wild Shape into wolf formWell? Bend over.
>>97876122Rules of the King's Road.
>>97876122I wildshape into a female goat and present my rump
>>97876122report him to the inquisition for being a homo.
>>97876240We literally have France as example with kings fucking their vassals wives
>>97879387>What does this have to do with dungeon crawling?Rectal navigation is synonymous with dungeon crawling
>>97876122I'm not sure why it's important to the king for people to have sex with his wife while he watches from a closet, but I guess we're not in any position to complain.
>>97882170Nope.
>>97876122Is he Jadwiga of Poland? if not, I decline the supplies and find another supplier
>>97880823what movie
>>97876163>girlboss mentalitywait what? the party is all men...
>>97886023He's incel who wanted to imply that stories where girl refuses advances of powerful man is modern thing
>>97876122I guess it can't be helped...
>kingmy anarchist paladin slays him on the spot
>>97885764>what movieJay and Silent Bob Strike Back>"I'm an actor which means it's my job to tell the lie that tells the truth. In order to do that, I need as much emotional honesty and data as possible. I need to hold up or suspend the window of disbelief so that your audience could crawl into your magical world. So I don't ask you these questions to be an unctuous actor who demands attention. I simply need to know how deeply you want me to throat this guy."- George Carlin
>>97876122>Be (playing) LE 'Naughty Nun' Cleric.>Eh fuck it.>Have loud, noisy sex with the King, with a lot of wailing.>Use this as blackmail to gain further supplies as I am sworn to a vow of chastity.>Given that I cannot consent to lay with men due to my binding compact with god, that makes what the King did have to be rape.>Moreover, atop it publicly breaking his marital vows, it is rape of a holy woman, both a protected member of the church, and a woman 'married' to god and to the faith, which is enough to set the Church VERY much against him, his family, and his Kingdom itself, if it ever came out.>Proceed to squeeze the guy for absolutely everything I can. Mostly valuables, property, and the like. Magic weapons, armour, magical items, horses, deeds to a castle somewhere? Titles from him won't matter.>Send a letter to the Holy Sea anyways after a couple of days, and our departure from the city, detailing that 'King Whatshisname raped me on this date, through use of force and blackmail and attempted to keep me from telling you by buying me out with trinkets and jewels and worldly goods. Servants and guards who were nearby could hear and attest to my plight'>Continue having him under my thumb for a couple of months until the letter arrives, Papacy forces can muster and he loses all his good standing with the Church, god, neighboring nations, and the people of his own as he's known as 'the King who rapes Nuns and probably eats babies and prays downwards to the underworld'.>Proceed to go to the next city over, dress up like a bar wench, and get laid.Problem Royals?
>>97876122>The sexual gratification is for his horse
>>97889551>>97880944>>97880512It's weird how bestiality has been suggested three times in thirty posts.
>>97889543>>Send a letter to the Holy SeaHoly See?
>>97889543>the king tells says the pope is a lying cunt>the church doesn’t like that and tells the king to fuck off>the king makes his own church with blackjack and hookers>neighboring nations support the church on paper but many secretly support the king as the influence of the church over their nations has long been a thorn in the sides of royalty>papacy sends troops to put down this new heretic church>the king and his allies respond in kind>shit escalates and the continent is split between papal loyalists and protesta- I mean royalistsCongratulations, you started a holy war.
>>97876122I tend to get pissed off at DMs who like to add personal fetish bullshit like this into a game and then guarantee that dumb autistic fuck is not joining any future session again.
>>97890424No, the Vatican equivalent is in an Atlantis situation and the pope is a fish person.
>>97890514That only raises more ecumenical questions. Is whole sea made of holy water? How do you send a letter to pope underwater?
