>"Hey DM, I want to play a bear that is a clown">"The best part, he is a sorcerer that thinks he us a wizard and all his spells are clown antics"What do you do?
We're playing Call of Cthulu, anon. Stop being a fucking retard and roll a middle aged professor with a side hobby of sawed off 10g shotgun shooting like the rest of the group.
>"No."
>>98062364That clashes with the tone we're doing and the wizard/sorcerer stuff sounds redundant but lets see. Do you want to play a clown sorcerer that got polymorphed into a bear? The main thing that worries me is how you mesh with the party, you need to be able to play ball with saving the world and not be obnoxious in all social encounters.You can take a brown bear as base and move stat points around to get a bit more charisma, then since it's CR1 you are constantly one level behind the other party to compensate.It's cool when a character's magic has a theme to it, but don't go overboard with the tonal clash, you can't summon an exploding clown car when you cast fireball.
>>98062364From a 5e standpoint...>Reconsider my life choices, then;>Does this fit into the table, tone and setting of the game?>Consider racial stuff. Bite/claw attacks?>Consider attributes. Bears say str and con to me, sorc says cha. >Please send me/show me some of the real world clowns/antics you wish to get up to or that inspire you to do in game so we can list the antics and try to translate them to sorcerer spells or other actions together.>Could you list me the spells you plan to take for the first few levels, and how you flavor them as clown antics.>Perhaps prestidigitation to make a flower appear, and have poison spray cast from it like the smell-this-flower trick where the flower sprays water.>Prestidigitation for 15ft of handkerchiefs allowed. The kerchief chain can persist for 30 minutes if concentrated upon. Dont tell player, but make mental note that this counts as hempen rope.>Consider that it might be most on-brand to have material components matter for the majority of your spells, since clown antics are mostly actually prop comedy.>Deception / persuasion, sleight of hand and performance are logical, almost necessary for the prankster stuff.>Does your bear speak common, or do you intend to use up all your sorcery points on subtle spell metamagic? How does he speak common? Or alternatively, do we create a Bearish language that allows for growls and grunts to stand in for verbal components?>Did you speak to any of the other players to play "straight man" to your clown act? >Give me some backstory. How did your bear become a clown? Circus? Fey? Fey circus? Something else?>What kind of magic items make sense? Perhaps a robe of useful items reskinned to be a little red vest with gold trim?>Consider letting him turn his fez into a bag of holding in one of the earlier quests if we start at low level.>Think about a ball to dance on for... Some benefit. Unicycle perhaps?Sounds like a lot of fun, anon. Pretty flavorful. Not too difficult.
>>98062364"Thank fuck you picked something sensible for once. I though you were going with your default Tiefling/Dragonborn Paladin/warlock/Ninja in a wheechair, AGAIN."
>>98062364Listen, history has a bear that was a Polish soldier addicted to cigs and alcohol.A circus bear doing magic tricks is kind of normal...
>>98062364Most of the time, this >>98062371We're trying to create a cool story together here and nobody is going to find that shit amusing, you included, for more than an hour or soThat being said if I'm happening to run some light hearted beer&pretzels game that's mostly just for hanging out and having fun with the boys, I'd say what the hell, go for it
>>98062364Banish the player from the hero's party.
>>98062597>After the war he was given to a zoo>Couldn't get along with other bears though because he got really used to living and sleeping alongside humans and loved their companyLove this dude
>>98062364No rules for such thing.
>>98062364No, we're playing by the book. You can have bear themed clothes tho
>>98062364I look at the calendar, expecting it to be 2008, and rapidly decay to dust upon realizing that was 18 years ago.
>>98062364Imagine being this traumatized about sir bearington 15 years later.
>>98063173People still throw a shitfit over ancient green texts like Old Man Henderson to this day even as they rant and rave how those old green texts were obviously always fake and gay, it’s not even remotely surprising they still mald over a fossilized meme like Sir Bearington.
>>98062364I tell him to go for it, because in the fucking bizarro-universe where I'd ever even think about touching D&D again I clearly don't care about running a game.
>>98063247>maldunderage b&Your next line will contain "grandpa" or "unc" because you're a creatively-bankrupt lemming.
>>98063958I don’t think pointing out the bait makes swallowing it appear less foolish, dotard
>>98063995Tbh, that's a synonym, so you did exactly what he said you would.
>>98064038Desperate to make yourself sound like the winner of an internet argument now?
>>98064045>couldn't refute being underage>couldn't refute being a lemmingLooks like a victory to me, loser.
>>98064072If it makes you happy to believe that, anon, then by all means go ahead.
>>98062390spbp
>>98063173If i were raped by a bear and nobody believed it was a bear i would be salty to
>>98063944True!
I play thief illusionist pretending to be a wizard. It has game mechanical value as you don't doubt you don't resist.
>>98062364'You want to play that now; you won't 1 hour into the session'
>>98062364No.
>>98062364Wouldn't this make him an illusionist in the traditioncal D&D sense?
I wish to play a Jewish merchant looking for the homeland of his chosen people.
>>98064045You called him a dotard.Literally means feeble old man.I mean, maybe it was a meta-joke about doing exactly what he expected you to.Maybe.But well.It wasn't very funny if it was.
>>98062364Isn't this just a druid with a clown theme
>>98062364Depends on the game I am running.
>>98062364>"So... a Gurahl with sorcery? Yeah, that's fine for an ExWoD crossover. You'll be weaker than the others, especially the Solar and the two Mages, but if you wanna do it..."
>>98062364Racism is out in the open in the Forgotten Realms. In small villages, most people will never have even seen simple magic, let alone whichever ridiculous race you happen to be. Even Half-Elves are not especially accepted, and thus founded their own city according to Ed. Humans, Dwarves, and Elves even living close together doesn't make a lot of sense. Unless you're doing a game like in Thay or the outer planes, it's ridiculous. You pick some strange race and the guards should go>I'm not letting that strange fucking thing inside our city>You're lucky we don't lash you >Get the fuck out of hereI will gladly take the stance that most people play the Forgotten Realms wrong because you're playing homebrew, not Forgotten Realms.t. 3e/3.5
>>98065467most people would have seen a level 1 divine spell at leastalso being a purist simp for a shit setting sure is a look, i will let you off the hook because you mention the great wheel though
>>98065467That's not racism.That's effective border control done professionally.Lawful Neutral approved.
>>98065611wrong, it's both racism and effective border control
>>98064112Grow up chuck
>>98065416He said DM, so you aren't running a game.
>>98066178do you not know how greentexts work
>>98065739+ LG
>>98062364Hell yeah nigga, now pass the boof.
>>98062364Well, I explain the different performance traditions of the world’s cultures, with an emphasis on the comedic, and work with the player to figure out which one he likes the most. There isn’t really a “red nose big wig pie-in-face equivalent, though, so that hopefully isn’t too much of a dealbreaker.As far as being a bear goes, there are really only a few ways in the setting in which an animal would gain the level of sapience necessary, even fewer of which are pleasant for the animal. I’d want to clarify if the goal is simply to look like a bear or to actually be an animal, with different options available for each one.There are additional complications with the distinction between having an internal source of magic versus having to isolate and shape naturally-occurring magic, but that conversation is going to depend so heavily on the outcome of the second that it isn’t worth trying to plan in advance.
>>98065790>27-inch phallusThe typical black bear baculum is only 6-7 inches. I get that it’s satire, but come on.
>>98062364Oh man, the bear situation happened to a friend of mine. >New campaign, new characters. Covid times tho so we're online >One of the players's characters, player B, are absent from the starting scene, he has apparently conspired with the GM to be introduced later>In the meantime, this player B is helping out roleplaying NPCs so every NPC we meet is a potential addition to the party>We just don't know>Supposed to investigate a missing caravan for a village and getting directions from some farmhand>He dreams of becoming a hero, has a sweet sickly sister that depends on him, all the works>When we find the caravan, it's been ransacked and a lone bear is knockin about in the wreckage>GM: "The farmhand raises his pitchfork and with a triumphant cry charges the bear. The bear raises a single paw and strikes him across the chest. He dies instantly">Shock.>We gang up on the feral animal and kill it in a single turn to avenge the farmhand we've bonded with. It doesn't even get to act.>While we're discussing how we're supposed to break the news to his poor sister, GM and player B are very quiet.>Apparently the fucking bear was his new character. >Player B had prepared a perfect scenario to introduce it, but GM "improvised" instead >Player B leaves the call soon afterTo this day, it is the single worst example of GM improv I have ever encountered. Absolutely hilarious.
>>98066586They certainly don't let the reader or writer substitute words to completely change context to something convenient for whatever they're trying to argue at the moment.Otherwise, I could start talking about grilling burgers and cruise-liners and still be on-topic for this thread.
>>98065467>In small villages, most people will never have even seen simple magicNever understood how this was supposed to scale with players going from lvl 1 to lvl 4 within a couple months of in game time at the very most. You're telling me villagers have never seen magic when it takes less than a year of study to go from knowing one spell to casting several fireballs?
>>98068846the context of op is some dude asking you, who are put into the role of the dm, about including his stupid bear sorcerer ideai assume you misread it because you aren't familiar with greentexts
>>98069403I'm pretty sure he's one of those creatures that likes to screech that D&D isn't a game.
>>98069403>the role of the dmDMs don't run games.At best, you'll get a collaborative storytelling session out of them. If they feel like it.
>>98069426Lol you called it, >>98069555 came crawling right out of the woodwork
>>98062364I don't play dnd and certainly not as a DM, so maybe check your meds.
>>98062597Good old Wozjak. His comrades-in-arms would bring beer and drink with him at the zoo after the war.
>>98071952You mean Wojtek. Wozjak played second fiddle to Steve Jobs.
