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File: 1756171956643634.jpg (196 KB, 1058x1028)
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General for discussion of Human Domestication Guide & related fiction.

Kisses Edition

>What is HDG?
HDG is a collective kink writing project about the Affini (an advanced precursor civilization from outer space), who aggressively care for every other species in the universe. They have finally turned their glittery eyes on future grimderp hypercapitalist nightmare humanity. Using their natural charisma and various classes of Xenodrugs, they aim to make Florets (d̶o̶c̶i̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶d̶r̶u̶g̶ ̶a̶d̶d̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶p̶e̶t̶s̶ loved and cared for individuals) of us all! But don't worry, they always have everyone's best interests at heart, even if their methods aren't even remotely consensual~

>Where can I read it?
Read the original story here https://readonlymind.com/@GlitchyRobo/HumanDomesticationGuide/
or check other stories on ROM https://readonlymind.com/search/?q=%23Human_Domestication_Guide
or Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Human%20Domestication%20Guide%20-%20GlitchyRobo/works
or the wiki: https://hdg.wiki/

thread had a tummyache and went to bed: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/83124900
>>
Thank you for bread baker!
>>
floret who deserves to die
>>
>>83199325
many do, but they're not allowed
>>
>>83199325
Flort that lies
>>
>>83199258
don't kill yourself nona. if you kill yourself you won't be able to uselessly fantasize about hdg any more
>>
Mistress that lets you press the appropriately sized and accordingly red button that starts the Big Crunch
>>
affini who summons a bus to run me over
>>
>>83200733
Would that make you cum?
>>
>>83200948
affini who makes u immortal and gives you a heroic dose of class A so it registers as pleasure rather than pain and then douses you in gasoline and lights you on fire
>>
>>83200948
It would be extremely pleasant
>>
>>83200996
I mean that would work yeah

>>83201053
Anything for her favorite petal I suppose
>>
what if glitchyrobo is actually francis fukuyama and the post scarcity civilization thing is supposed to represent the end of history
>>
>>83201361
I know I wouldn't care much about writing things down when I'm fucking a plant all day
>>
Deep, wracking sobs, tears streaming down your face, mumbling to yourself "for mankind" and "for terra" as you set the bucket of water on top of the door
>>
>>83201746
she will not forgive this betrayal.
>>
>>83199340
and her brother flort who only tells the truth. each of them guard a door, one of which leads to freedom, the other to domestication. you don't know which door goes where, but the florts do. you have to choose and open one of these doors, but you can only ask a single question to one of the florts. what do you ask to find the door leading to freedom?
>>
>>83203715
Which way would your Mistress say to go
>>
>>83203715
I really really have to pee where is the bathroom?
>>
bipp
>>
in the compact all TERFs will be forced to cuddle cute trans girls until they fully understand and admit the error of their ways
>>
why do the affini from really old fics talk like lowtiergod
>>
>>83207959
This is the incredible power of the cuddlepit
>>
>>83208933
the cure for bigotry under the affini is probably just being given physical affection until the pet realizes that they were wrong about others being bad and scary
>>
I like moss
>>
>>83209672
Moss likes you too
She told me so
>>
>>83209309
>affini despairing that her pet's bigotry isn't being cured
>meanwhile the pet was only ever pretending to be a bigot to get more physical affection.
>>
>>83209839
Flort that says Faggot for no other reason than being pet
>>
>you're alone, manning a defense satellite over the planet Rinan
>you have just one job:
>hit the big red button that drops the nukes if the Affini show up
>hour 17 of a 28 hour shift
>tired
>eyes keep fluttering closed
>blink
>six hours have passed in an instant
>orbit is completely crowded with Affini ships
>you can hear Affini talking quietly in the next room over
>someone's tucked a stuffed animal behind your head as a pillow
>when an Affini notices you're awake, they gently pat the top of your head and praise you for "doing the right thing" and not launching your payload like the others
>>
>>83210291
total sleepyhead victory
>>
>>83199241
'213rd'? two hundred and thirturd?
>>
>>83210777
Twohundredtenythird
>>
sucking off florets with small florenises
>>
>>83211695
It is admittedly lots of fun to pamper a flenis until the attached floret starts making cute noises
>>
>>83211880
I like the ones that are so small that you can lick all of it at once
>>
>>83212522
You probably just have a big tongue!
>>
>>83212530
I mean yes, but licking their other bits at the same time is a special treat for when they're about to cum!
>>
Wish my thingy was smaller...
>>
>>83214044
You can make it smaller, at least for a little, with some different kinds of toys, or ask your mistress
>>
>>83207959
the affini should make TERFs into trans girls
they have the technology
>>
Wish my thingy was bigger (oh fuck she heard me)
>>
>>83215660
jk rowling gock......
>>
>>83215930
There's tons of ways to do that petal!
How much bigger petal?
>>
Wish my thingy was so small it couldn't even be used for penetrating, so it just wiggles pathetically and squirts when other stuff happens...
>>
>>83216178
So tiny and pathetic that your pwn balls are more outwardly visible?
So twitchy and sensitive that you'd cum just thinking about humping thing?
So completelt useless that you have no choice but to use the rest of your body even when masturbating?
That small?
>>
i wish my thingy was bigger
make it silly stupid big instead of just slightly above avarage
>>
>>83216340
So completely impractically huge you can't hide it under antthing you wear?
So biologically misplaced that just getting to half mast makes you light headed?
So pointlessly girthy that its easier to fit things up your pee hole than anything but the most personally dedicated toys?
That big?
>>
>>83216302
Yeah about that small
>>
>>83216700
Wonderful!
You might have to spend a while at the vet, the procedure itself is quite short, but you can't really blame the vet for taking the opportunity to play with such a tiny and adorable penis while it's just right there.
>>
What if my dick is fine as it is
>>
>>83216529
hell yea man
Exactly like that
>>
>>83216936
Then you get another one so you have a spare
>>
>>83216998
There's a few ways to get there, a trip to the vet would be the fastest, while a regimen of focused Class G's would be the most 'natural', which is more to say that you won't be nearly imobilized by the sheer physicallity and sensitivity of it because you'll have a much smoother adjustment.

>>83216936
Thats... great...
So good that you're... comfortable... in your body...
>>
>>83217062
Why would I need a spare? I'm not eating gluten anytime soon
>>
>>83217781
You could use it as a toy
>>
>>83217781
You get to lord it over all the plebs that only have one dick
>>
>>83217931
Am I supposed to whip out my genitals in casual conversation or something?
>>
>>83218473
To ward off opponents and attract mates, is that not a thing terrans do? I figured it was pretty universal.
>>
forty dicked flort
>>
hdg needs more focus on cute floret feet
>>
>>83218517
What? No
Exposing yourself in public is generally frowned upon
>>
>>83218580
floret with a hydraic penis whose brachiating cock is a consequence of a sadist pinnate that's gotten a little over-enthusiastic with the pruning shears
>>
>>83218675
flort toes....
>>
>>83218731
I guess that doesn't hokd true online then, terrans are weird.
>>
>>83218580
>>83218770
Affini that gives their floret an extra dick every day they've been good (they're good every day)
>>
>>83218992
That's a small minority, I swear most of us aren't weird like that
>>
>>83219125
Sure thing
>>
independent that is very very afraid that an affini is going to hurt them. so far they have managed to avoid speaking to or coming with twenty yards of one.
>>
>>83219217
Indie with neighbors that are meticulously planning how to pet them
>>
ijdnei that links rto get drunk but ois stll functional rnought to bot be donesixard
>>
>>83218781
in my mouth...
>>
>>83219372
Indie that has failed to show up for their third wellness check and is going to be brought in for questioning
>>
>>83219372
human donesixard guide
>>
>>83219252
quivering little indie cowering in the elevator with an affini very, very gently petting their head...
>>
>>83219372
awww look it's making noises...
>>
>>83219640
There are several others that have been petting them throughout the day.
The petting will not stop until morale improves.
>>
>>83211695
The smol penised floret wins again!
>>
>>83220622
Floret that gets pet for showing her tiny penis
>>
floret who asks their mistress if they're going to hell every once in a while
>>
Mistress that is less and less sure of what hell even is the more they research it
>>
>>83221132
Her? I'm not a girl just because I have a small penis!
>>
>>83221458
>>83221520
Mistress whose a Southern Baptist preacher who claims that their floret is going to hell unless they accept Jesus no matter how good or bad they are.
>>
>>83221528
Are you sure petal?
Absolutely certain?
>>
>>83221546
Floret that still doesn't know who jesus is because they don't know how to read the tiny letters in thw bible
>>
>>83221528
umm... having a small penis makes you a girl? obviously?
>>
>>83221565
>>83221777
Defamation! I am a boy and you will hear from my Mistress!
>>
>>83221963
? oh yeah i just heard from your mommy. she said that you like it when people make fun of your small penis by calling you a girl ?
>>
>>83221963
You' mommy has been discussing subtly dosing you with Class G's with your vet...
>>
>>83221132
>>83221777
Since when do women have penises? Is my life a lie?
>>
>>83222217
She hasn't been subtle with my class-Gs. I am not a particularly imposing man in any regard. Also having pink hair like an anime protagonist would have tipped me off.

>>83222116
I mean... uh... well... Mistress is censoring my speech right now but if she wasn't I'd have some things to say.
>>
>>83222280
Petal...
Your own mistress has a penis in ALL of her flowers! (technically)
>>
>>83222280
>she doesn't know
>>
>>83222349
Mmmm! Yeah! Suck on that stamen!
>>
>>83222323
>Also having pink hair like an anime protagonist would have tipped me off.
Sociokun confirmed for magical girl
>>
>>83221546
mistress from the great state of mistressippi......
>>
>>83222349
What mistress? Besides, they're all weird plant monsters, whatever they've got going on doesn't translate to humans. I can't shapeshift at any rate.
>>
>>83222777
That doesn't eliminate women from being very capable of having penises.
And not knowing if you have a Mistress is quite telling...
>>
>>83216055
Sorry I should have responded sooner I was eating a sandwich and playing video games sorry ple ase don’t be mad! I would want it to be just a little bigger and longer and knotted because I want to be a doggy. Not a restricted doggy with big paw hands that can’t grab anything but a smug cute fluffy doggy who is actually more nimble and dexterous than a baseline Terran. I want a fat ass and sensitive prostate all that stuff but I would especially like a big knotted cock that when it’s all the way out is kind of scary but not so big it couldn’t fit with some practice. And I want some doggy friends male and female who share a mental thing where when we knot or get knotted it makes us feel really like extra canine I guess if that makes sense. To where we’re mindbroken and convinced we’re having puppies.
If I can keep asking for things can we all also smell really good? It would be nice to just stick my nose in the pits of some other doggy and get hard and start leaking just from sniffing it.
>>
>>83222280
? since always? since when do girls not have penises lol
>>
>"m-mistress.... um... i l-love you..."
>"aw, thank yo-"
>"aha syke!!!! fuck you weed"
>>
>>83223087
owned... another victory for free terra
>>
>>83222882
likeeee how would you even have sex lmao
>>
>>83222882
Well, my girlfriend doesn't have one, but she's also not human. Maybe that's it...
Can any human women ITT confirm if they have a dick?
>>
File: petting.png (1.06 MB, 1232x1258)
1.06 MB PNG
i get first thread image.
>>
>>83223214
two penis floret
>>
>>83223160
You can rub the penises together or put them in eachother's butts or just jerk them off together
>>
>>83223184
Human woman here, I've got a penis.
Its quite large.
>>
>>83223214
my affini on the right who is very sexually attracted to florets but knows i love when affini like the one on the left treat cumming super hard like some silly thing pets do
>>
>Connivent is going to the vet for penis enhancements
>Enhanced semen flavor isn't something she requested
>Try convincing the vet to add it on
>After some persuasion they agree
>Turn to leave, but suddenly feel a pinch on the back of your neck
>Next thing you know you're waking up on a recovery bed next to your connivent
>"Hey there petal! It was quite inappropriate to try and get your little friend a surgery she didn't want, however I've talked to your owner and we worked out a solution!"
>"An increase in ejaculation volume WAS on the schedule, and it always takes some adjusting to deal with all the mess, so you're gonna pitch in!"
>"Her ejaculate won't taste any better to you, but your body now processes it into a mild narcotic! Your mistress agreed to enforce cleanup duty for the first few weeks, but after that the dependence will really take care of itself."
>"There are some side effects, so don't go operating any heavy machinery for the rest of your life! Considering the refractory period removal package your little connivent got, I recommended some changes to metabolism and gag reflex to your owner for your comfort, but of course it's all up to her... So, you'd better be good!"
>>
>>83223524
Sometimes I read stories like this on the overnet (all made up it’s just written florn) and my affini has to print me little toys of the sophonts involved to chew on because they make me so angry. The affini ones she has to make herself so I don’t get mistaken for a feralist.
>>
>>83223330
>Its quite large.
Let's not get cocky, anon
>>
>>83223214
this is exactly why I would need to be forcibly domesticated
>>
>>83223705
I mean I've never actually mesured it, but its as long as my hand
>>
Affini who figures out I like it when she plays up the age difference between us
>>
>>83223810
Yeah, tiny effeminate hands
>>
>>83224166
You really think so?
>>
File: IMG_7998.jpg (337 KB, 1206x1589)
337 KB JPG
>>83224130
Cougarfinni
She recognizes the many psychic wounds I have and is an expert at both healing them and mining them for absolutely insane floret silly time >>83223214
>>
>>83224210
If it’s not clear I’m not implying anything sexual about the actual woman in that picture. But the way she feels about that animal and the way it feels about her is similar to how I would probably feel with a cougarfinni during the “healing my psychic wounds” thing.
>>
>>83224204
I know so, yes
>>
>>83224310
Thank you!
I've always been self conious about my hands.
>>
>>83224348
The real issue here is that your hands missed the "c" key
>>
>>83223605
>Identifies a behavior they find suboptimal and immediately take steps to ensure it isn't repeated
How is that not something the Affini would absolutely do?
>>
>>83225983
Because fpr whatever reason they find some cuteness factor in thw described behavior, such as being very bitey but not having truly violent intentions.
If she didn't want one that was bitey she wouldn't have one that bites.
>>
Submitting even to florets
Serving florets hand on foot
Pleasing florets
Sucking big floret dick under the desk while she plays games
Loving every second
>>
>>83223524
Oh nooooo... ill have to be sooo dependant and dutifull in my duties to get my next fix... how truely unfortunate, what a terrible punishment... definitely not something i'd have signed up for willingly, no no


Also
Kayfab off for a sec
Whats with the general trope that cum tastes bad
It doesn't, if you have a half ways decent diet
>>
>>83227300
Most people aren't eating healthily enough to have cum that tastes good.



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