General for discussion of Human Domestication Guide & related fiction.i warned you about stairs bro edition>What is HDG?HDG is a collective kink writing project about the Affini (an advanced precursor civilization from outer space), who aggressively care for every other species in the universe. They have finally turned their glittery eyes on future grimderp hypercapitalist nightmare humanity. Using their natural charisma and various classes of Xenodrugs, they aim to make Florets (d̶o̶c̶i̶l̶e̶,̶ ̶d̶r̶u̶g̶ ̶a̶d̶d̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶p̶e̶t̶s̶ loved and cared for individuals) of us all! But don't worry, they always have everyone's best interests at heart, even if their methods aren't even remotely consensual~>Where can I read it?Read the original story here https://readonlymind.com/@GlitchyRobo/HumanDomesticationGuide/or check other stories on ROM https://readonlymind.com/search/?q=%23Human_Domestication_Guideor Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Human%20Domestication%20Guide%20-%20GlitchyRobo/worksor the wiki: https://hdg.wiki/thread forked and ramet'd: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/83345888/
mistress HATES your best friend!!!!!
>>83469633NOOO!!!! NONONONONO!!!MISTRESS IS MY BESTFRIEND!!!SHE CAN'T HATE HERSELF!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Plommy that comes to tuck you into bed and read you sleepyouve never seen her before, she just came into your roombut your're so sleepy... just go with the flow...
Okay let’s say you actually do get what you consider your perfect affini. What positive aspect of your life with them would be most disturbing or unpleasant for someone who isn’t you?
>>83469760mistress with self-esteem problems
affini who gets a bit upset when you call her an evil rapist slaver ogre
>>83470116I am obsessed with the ocean and in particular the idea of living in it. Shadow Over Innsmouth is basically a wish fulfilment story, at least in terms of its broad plotline rather than how Lovecraft actually wrote it. I would want to go live on a water world or aquatic hab ring with a fully aquatic affini, and be changed to be able to live that life to the fullest. I think most people would find that extremely strange.
>>83470585that's cute. you'd wanna be some kinda fishy? do you have a model organism or would u like to be designed de novo?
>>83470612I'd like to be able to keep my hands and otherwise not change my body plan too drastically. I wouldn't want to be a squid or a jellyfish or something like that. Beyond that however I'd love to be surprised
>>83470585lol were you here when I posted https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/82485616/#q82583323 ?>mother hydra affini living in a deep pool surrounded by a small town of habs populated by her florets and soon-to-be florets in partial stages of aquatic transformation
>>83470962>https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/82485616/#q82583323Yep, I was the one you were replying too. That whole fantasy still lives in my brain rent free.
>>83471271I'm glad you liked it, I also really like the fishpeople idea and have always loved sea life and swimming
firstbloom who doesn't understand human facial expressions very well and thinks her new feral pet is baring their teeth at and threatening to bite her whenever they're upset
>You go to the vet to get your telekinesis implant done>(she keeps saying it's impossible)>(the Affini are holding out on you yet again)>You just bypass the lobby and front desk and head down the hall without an appointment or filling out any paperwork>What are they gonna do, send you to jail? >They got rid of all those>You pass by an open door that makes you do a double take>Two veterinarians are examining a boulder>Why?>One of the Affini explains that they have a strong reason to believe that the large rock is actually a sophont>If they can verify their findings, then this one will become their species' first cotyledon>They resume their work, holding a stethoscope up to the stone as their assistant gently taps it with a small hammer>You just shake your head and continue on towards your vet's office>...>Maybe once you get your telekinesis you can help them move rocks...
i think this may have come up here a couple months ago but i keep thinking about affini writing fanfic about themselves or their self inserts domesticating long dead humans (primarily historical figures)pages and pages of absolutely deranged prose about florting queen victoria or andrew jackson or rosa luxemburg or kim yo jong or just some random human whose existence had otherwise been completely lost to time for centuries. am i insane
>>83473799now I'm imagining an affini that collects florets who think they're napoleon and affirms their belief until she has dozens of little napoleons
>>83470116I want to be Class W'd on a regular basis. Mind you, I would actually try to be independent.
>>83474038cant u just b quiet ?
>>83474174People get worried when I do that and pester me to speak and then I have to reassure them and end up stressing myself out :<
on the . weedjerma clips or hdg audio porn for tn
>>83474871This is a classic Jerma chat message that he reads out loud, doesn’t understand, and never mentions again.
Affini if we got to them first
>>83470585oh, hi nona! i saw a post that reminded me of you today.
>>83475254A few months before the Accord fell my boss misunderstood the reports about the Affini and decided that their pollen was some kind of mega potent ultradrug that was probably worth its weight in superplatinum, so he packed me and five other employees into a ship the size of a cargo van and sent us off to capture an Affini, but we ended up going the wrong way and never found any Affini ships and when we returned to Terra it had already been taken over and I asked an Affini to let me snort some of their pollen out of curiosity and it just made me sneeze...
>>83475823You should ask one about her phytotoxin instead, that should at least prove closer to the harvestable superdrugs you had in mind.
