>>85443425
>put thread title in the name field
still unsearchable...

for fucks sake

>>85443486
lol

>>85443486
Hey look, it's Ms. Human Domestication Guide General herself!

>>85443486
oh my god it's glitchyrobo

>>85443425
>>85443486
brainblasted floret who finds their owner's communicator unattended and starts trying to post on florchan

we'll get the general right one of these days

ok I'll try to do the new bread next tiem

>>85444035
breadbaker, i think you might be the only one who can do it

flort that likes the bread more cause its a little fucked up

>>85443471
idk 4chan.org/trash/hdg brings it up fine

>>85446928
have to look at the blacked thread :/
and yes it is sort of kind of searchable if you don't include the title which has not been included for the last three threads but that doesn't mean it isn't annoying as shit
i want to search the name of the thread and only the thread im searching for to come up
that's why /hdgg/ is there

floret too scared to bake bread because they're afraid they'll mess up because they always mess everything up and everyone will hate them forever and ever and ever if they fail and let everyone down...

>>85448002
Mommy that loves her flort and wants to see her be creative!
Connivent that loves flort because they make yummy bread no matter what it looks like!

Indie who gets domesticated for overuse of recreational Class Hs. By the time the BXWC caseworker has found her she's accidentally convinced herself that's she's already the floret of the completely normal affini plushy she compiled that morning and has been for years, and is utterly inconsolable at the idea that she'll be taken away from her mistress.

Her new owner simply puts her digitized mind into the plushy and the former indie doesn't even notice anything's changed.

floret university

>>85448396
Me when I learn how to get past the floret proof lock on the medicine cabinet and overdose on Class-Cs. I end up developing a deep emotional connection with the empty pill bottle.

if a human can get past an affini designed lock, it wasn't there to actually keep them out in the first place

>>85448396
dollflorts looking in wonder and amazement at the new floret who somehow managed to plushify their mistress and not the other way around.

>>85448547
To be fqir the lock is designed to be floret proof, not human proof. Could have just asked an indie how they would get past it.

>You see where it says "do not open -love Mistress"? Open it

>>85448269
flort who looks really happy offering her plommy and connivent her newly baked bread, looking really proud that she did everything right this time.
she made bagels, they smell amazing. (she forgot the holes, she hasn't noticed yet...)

>>85448817
Plommy that is happy to see het flort so happy with her baking!
Connivent that keeps finishing each bagel before they can process the lack of hole... yummy bread...

>>85448817
if Noah's can sell bagels without the hole so can a flort

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>tfw any ufo footage or news gives me an overwhelming feeling of hope.

Am I cooked, fellow seeds?

>>85449884
I really do think aliens would be nice, although maybe dictatorial-for-your-own-good like the affini. I don't think any species advanced enough for space travel that far would have any need or desire to harm humans

affini who takes her floret to the domestication center because it's best practice to keep at least two terrans at a time (they're very social! they'll get lonely) and she wants to see if her sweet little pet likes any of the nervous florets-to-be enough for her to claim dibs on them

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>can’t be domesticated by force
>can be domesticated by offering him exotic sweets and treats to eat all day

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>>85450651
true! terrans are just like ferrets!

I'm just like a lady ferret the way I'll die if I go into heat and it doesn't get resolved :P

>>85451718
>floret that thought the comparison was to rats and has stopped boggling...

mistress gave me some play money :)

>>85450651
floret that begs plommy for a feralist to pinnatize

uuoghhgggggggg
Headache, tummy hurty, rainy, coworker got fired on friday for reasons we weren't told because they did something irredeemable on their work computer and IT helpdesk phone calls and tickets now fall on me to take care of
Save meeee

>>85456275
Poor kitty... pat pat

>>85456369
k-kitty?

>>85456275
>>85456594
Kittty...

Mistress who gives your connivent a button that more or less paralyzes you with overwhelming sensations from class-A xenodrugs so that she can rape you without you getting upset

Can an indie have a floret of their own?

>>85458911
Theoretically yes.
It's not a common site at all, but it isn't some entirely unheard of thing.
You do still have to pass the care aptitude test for whatever you want to adopt, but it can be done.

>>85458911
I don't think an indie can make a haustoric implant...

>>85459678
uhh
you can be a dom with a sub, sure, but i don't think a terran can have a *floret*
i don't really see how that's possible
frankly a terran couldn't pass any part of the sixteen-course 'Terrans are Adorable!' curriculum required to keep a terran floret, since they lack vines, grafts, a quadracameralized mind, and the general hypercompetence expected of an affini owner

>>85459878
It is very rare that any species is able to adopt members of their own, but Maelodions and other eusocialites can be quite easy to care as individuals!

Flort that gets to be the physical for ffini taking the terran care aptitude test after the written portion

bappu

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>>85459878
wait, are all affini plural?

>>85463488
they are, at least, true multitaskers

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>>85463515
I wish I could overclock my mind and add extra sensors to it so my alters could play coop video games with me

>>85463554
that would be really cool actually ive never thought about that. it would b really cool yo have ankther me in my head to hang oht with. my skull is so lonely :(

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>>85464227
well, try the steps used in tulpamancy and see if it works

turns out everyone who has said they have a tulpa ends up actually having a dissociative disorder of some sort.

and my alters have been there years and years before, who knows, yours could just be dormant.

affini that you thought was another terran until she unfolded

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>>85466144
Affini that hides in your vents and replaces your memory as she takes care of you so you still think you're an independent until you start improving your life and find yourself craving going to the domestication shelter as you get more social and find yourself outside,

You finally work up the courage to go to the domestication center and there she is. waiting for you.

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>>85443425
>fem bdsm universe
>it's all plants
why is all coom not my niche

>>85466816
turn back now if you do not want to be irreversibly hooked by this shit for good
it is like heroin.

>>85466816
what would you prefer them be?

>>85467631
Not me. Not never.
>>85467755
Something normal. Regular fantasy races, like furries or demons.

>>85467774
>Something normal. Regular fantasy races, like furries or demons.
that's fair
the plant stuff isn't really that important most of the time, like it is to a degree but I don't think most people find them hot for being plants anyway

>>85467774
you will have pollen rubbed on you and you will like it

>>85467815
I think them being plants, and nore specifically trees gives them a sort of believably alien advantange. Because they are so used to such a fundamentally different means of communication, there is something about any given affini that you won't ever be able to truly know, and their descion yo care inspite of that unknowability makes them more appealing to me.
I was orgininally anticipating a more general fantasy situation when I first found these threads, I remember one of the first thoughts I had about the "Human Domestication Guide" Concept was the moral quandires of keeping different sorts of vampires. Given its situation as both a disease and lingering curse depending on several factors.
I do not know if I like what HDG is more than what I though it would be, but I do know that I enjoy it, and I know that I never would have transitioned without it so I don't have any fewer reasons to thank the Everbloom for it.

>>85468097
Seethe vinecel.

>>85468249
>and I know that I never would have transitioned without it
i know that i never would have turned into a repper without it myself
fucking weeds

>>85468572
I was gonna kill myself if I didn't transition. My mind and entire concept of masculinity was activiely unraveling when I first encountered this, if I never found it I'd have either been completely complacent to my own slow and agonizing death or just walk until I couldn't anymore.

An affini couple saw me in the park and after stopping to talk to me they decided to drug me and take me to their home. This has to be illegal right, they can only do this if you’re a rebel or unable to care for yourself. I can’t get out of their house

>>85469077
I'm not sure there's really laws? affini kind of just resolve their issues without needing them
did they tell you why they took you? It could have been for a good reason

>>85470458
There are laws!
There's just not a concrete justice system because the Everbloom trusts people won't commit crimes without reason!
They're most likely just aged into default consent, or at least assumed to be so.
The Compact recognizes a point in the lives of most sophonts where, even with completely self suffiency and satisfaction, bodily degeneration through senescence has a very significant affect on the lived experience. Default consent exists for individuals where they pose explicit resistance to being otherwise provided care later in life, but is occasionally envoked against individuals that appear to struggle with movement.
A loud crack during a big stretch is recognized as valid cause if over the age.

Pab

Bring Your Own Flort

>>85470458
the good reason is that they were very cute and flaunting it in public where anyone could see it.

burd of prey floret who stalks and swoops down on smaller florers and then lays on them and smothers them in fluffy feathers until they surrender

very dumb birdflort who thinks you are her egg

>>85478159
Lonely touch-starved terran who's not ready to admit it feels really nice to be snuggled and doted over by their birdmom

>>85478894
... terran who's so lonely and touch-starved they start to see the affectionate floret as their mom...

>>85470458
Of course it wasn’t a good reason. They thought I was cute and wanted to keep me after looking me up. That’s it. For relaxing and painting in public

>>85480122
oh, and i suppose it's just terrible? you're suffering?

>>85480713
Being enslaved is terrible yes. Being drugged against your will is terrible. I have to get out of here. Flee the planet I don’t care. The door won’t open but I’m not dumb enough to think getting outside would make a difference

>>85481425
Petal...
That sounds like fealist ideology...
What were you painting at the park?

>>85482091
fealist

feral flort cuddles and belly rubs

>>85482244
>vine chokes

>>85482538
ACK

>>85483498
>vine throttles your prostate

>>85483981
that's not- how would that even work .

>>85484083
A lot of microscopic tiny vines that that can dodge your nerves then weave back together around your prostate!
And probably a lot of Class A's and N's while I'm at it.

>"i sleep in a floret kennel, do you?"
>"i sleep in a big bed with my mistress."

>>85484376
u-um. im, uh. sorry for correcting you. im sorry

>>85484748
Too late!
>squeeze squeeze!

>>85481425
>>85481425
enslaved?
more like ensaved

floret rimworld

>>85484814
!
this terran was found doing the family guy death pose in a puddle of their own cum
their only words: 'nghh, nmmga, aah, ah, nfn, mmngh, hhgelp'

>>85487237
rimming florets

compliant, obedient, almost-broken feral rescue who immediately begins begging and screaming and sobbing and kicking and biting when informed of their implant appointment

>>85488337
aw, poor little thing. sounds like they need to take a little J-cation and have a niiiice big nap until its time for the vet to make sure their mommy is with them forever! poor babies just don't know what's good for them.

no inbound spacecraft yet. How do u find a human owner in the meantime. im too broken for "love"

>>85488974
ask very nicely

>>85489545
but I don't even know any people and they are so scary and I know ill just ruin their life and be horrible

>>85487237
Same

im gonna sit on the floor and feel flort

>>85492527
I forgot to do what I said

the partially broken feral experience sounds strangely appealing to me
getting to grumble and fuss and pout and be a brat. getting to spend all day playing and napping on a really comfy pet bed and eating the best food ever and getting taken on walks. and cuddling mistress. bargaining and begging and obeying my way into extra privileges and rewards. getting used to the collar until it feels weird and uncomfortable not having it on.,

HDG version of Courage the Cowardly Dog where a failfinni keeps being saved by her floret without realizing it

floret with a biiiiig sweater on

we put two florets in one floret

flort cytokinesis

I've discovered that cream cheese is an extremely diverse topping and can go well with a wide variety of foods I'd never thought to try. Why aren't we putting this on everything?

floret-produced "cream cheese" (DO NOT EAT OR EVEN TASTE IT!)

>>85495739
Double penetration...

broken florets are sold at the j cafe
are feral florets sold at a wet market?

>>85497161
wuhan floret market

>>85497161
You can't but florts...

>>85499388
heheh. butt florts

>>85499412
Doll flort but she's just an onahip

>>85500072
wow, okay. someone's too good to be a clitbox.

>>85497993
where the "doggirl" virus originated

nuzzles the thread

NUZZLES THE THREAD

>>85501992
>>85504060
>nuzzles this flort

>>85504369
nuzzles you.... ... nuzzlenuzzlenuzzle

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attention 'finnis

>>85506808
but are they gay for me (please)

>>85505464
>nuzzlenuzzlekisskissnuzzlenuzzle

80 hour humans making different faces compilation (72 trillion views)

>>85510227
affini that doomscrolls 80 hour videos of terrans but doesn't have a floret

>>85504060
No!

>>85512055
accidentally falling asleep on the train ride home and slumping against this finnis shoulder

>>85514003
idk why this is so cute to me. i really really want some 'finni to find an innocuous thing i do so cute they can't resist committing the next 300 years of their life to raising me as a pet

nuzzles the thread... please live...

>>85517268
floret that begs plommy for the sweet release of death

>>85517314
Floret that's scared to get implanted...

floret who drinks water when she's not allowed

>>85517965
Flort that only drinks water when told she isn't allowed...

>>85517448
I, for one, welcome the implant.

>>85518661
post your ffini kent

>>85520209
what is that?

>>85518105
floret who is fully saturated with liquid

>>85522088
floret whose whole body is mostly water

>>85522206
So all of them? And indies too for that matter?

>>85522206
Terran flort that just learned she's already 70% water...

>>85524313
soaking up this floret with a sponge

>>85524294
you don't know that
there was that floret who was like a 3x3 meter cement cube or something
florets and indies being 70% water is only the statistical average, some florets are 99% water which skews the data

affini who gets mad at you for not sleeping enough. and then she makes you her flort or something idk. and yoj take a nap. vines

>>85525537
true!

affini who gives you a hot dog because you're a good little flort

>>85525642
flort that easts it in one bite the wide way

youngbloom who really can't comprehend why the new ape pets seem to be so combative
the affini are breaking down their oppressive and generally suboptimal systems, ending scarcity, introducing all sorts of new technologies (and making them accessible for everybody!), and saving the little ones from their terrible ships and stations and asteroid colonies
and the pets themselves are so soft, defenseless, poorly balanced, slow, loving, affectionate, easy to hypnotize, quickly bonding, social, emotional, adorable in general, and just in terrible need of domestication. and yet so many of them seem to believe in, support, and even engage in truly terrible things!

>>85526367
>soft, defenseless, poorly balanced, slow, loving, affectionate, easy to hypnotize, quickly bonding, social, emotional, adorable in general
being described this way would instantly reduce me to an amoeba i dont know how ferals keep resisting

>>85526367
I AM NOT POORLY BALANCED!!! do you have any IDEA how much balance it takes to remain upright all day on only two legs. affini are lazy and sit on a monopedular vine mass all day like a slug

>>85526727
>tilts a liiiiiiiiiiiitle to far to one side...

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blob

>>85526367
Maybe it has something to do with how you're doing it against our explicit wishes, do not respect our choices and self determination and are claiming 40% of the species as litteral chattel property and put mindcontrol devices into their heads

>>85530679
oh please you make it sound as if you're not getting uplifted into lives of comfort
what good is self determination if you can't figure out what the right thing to do is? You never had the capacity for true self determination, all your choices are based in obsolete instincts and arbitrary and oppressive cultural norms
If terrans were truly capable of self determination in ethical ways that made you happy and resulted in good lives, then there would be no need for the affini

emergency blap

floret who really really REALLY really needs to plap you RIGHT now PLEASE it's an EMERGENCY please please please please PLEASE

feral who breaks instantly when their owner brushes their teeth with the toothpaste that makes you cum so hard you pass out

>>85533964
sensation-seeking flort who uses the toothpaste that makes you cum so hard you pass out as lube

I wan't plommy to patiently listen to 20th/21st century human music with me

>>85537220
would listening solely to screamo and emo music be grounds for domestication

>>85537220
patiently sitting on the couch next to mistress while I appreciate ancient terran composer GY!BE's historic classic 'raise your skinny fists like antennas to heaven'. shushing her if she tries tk say anything.

>>85537506
Flort that shushes by putting her tiny hand on plommy's mouth...

>>85531573
That line may work on the destitute and depressed you weeds love to slather with your creepy attentions, but it wont work on me. Listen, im not gonna spout delusions at you like some of the fanstics do, they're retarded. Of course a starving man will do anything for food, pride is a luxury not evryone can afford. Maybe thats fair enough.
But see, i was doing well. Not 0.1%er well, but i had all i needed. Saftey. Decent, real food. Somewhat decent health care.
And i had it because of my own god damn achievements! I built evry bit of that existance with my own effort and the efforts of terran society! It was my own!
Not something handed to me on a silver platter! It was mine!
Of course im better off now than i was back then, by a mile even. Again, im not delusional about our sitch here. I was self sufficient and lucky enough to escape with my mind mostly intact and with what little rights you left us 60%. Its good.
But its also empty. I didnt earn any of this peace and prosperity. *Society* didnt earn any of it. We were supposed to achieve thus ourselves, damn it! Getting wealthy by charity or lottery aint the same as earing it!
And thats anyother thing - it *isnt* charity, is it now hmmm? You wont admit it, but what youre doing here is selfish. One does not put mind control devices into 40% of a species one intends to genuinely *help*. You see us as lesser. As inferior. And you intend to keep it that way, you've no interest in uplifting us or what not. You *like* us not being equals. Its disgusting.
Im gonna do my best to distract myself and live out my life in this meaningless luxury, not like i cant get down with hedonism, but im not going to pretend you did us some great favour.

feralist prageru with the little bathroom stall door man stick figure animations depicting hapless terrans getting held down and vinefucked while the narrator dryly explains the shortcomings of socialism

>>85538594
whats a socialdimsum

>>85538612
thats when you have a delicious chinese meal with your friends