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File: 1790651558621.png (3.66 MB, 3373x1331)
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Jerk Off Instructions, Encouragement, and Captions

Brace Yourself Edition

Previous: https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/85284387/
https://desuarchive.org/trash/search/text/caption/type/op/

>Thread question(s)
What's your opinion on the "childhood friend/mysterious girl who fell from the sky" debate?

>Thread prompt
This month will be your girlfriend (or boyfriend)'s first ever Halloween! Will you teach them how the holiday works and have a wholesome pumpkin carving session together, or fill their head with sexual misconceptions?

>Directory of captioners
https://pastebin.com/Jy7dzV1a

>Boorus
https://joi.booru.org
https://captions.booru.org
These sites are closed to new members. If you are a member of these sites and want to help people upload their captions, be aware that images of more than 5,000 px on any side will fail to upload.

>Basic caption creation guides
https://pastebin.com/h7mudVkL

>Capper (free caption making software)
https://github.com/substantialpickle/Capper

>Discord servers
The Caption Discord: https://discord.gg/bSzKxmz
/d/ Caption Server: https://discord.gg/UjX4Juf
Let's Make Captions!: https://discord.gg/gfECt92
The Stash: https://discord.gg/u982wqf246
The Swirlin' Swarm https://discord.gg/XuxrDJjkaS
>>
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This is the anchor for new requests, nerd!
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Old requests go here, dorkface!
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Need help with typesetting your caption script, dweeb? Maybe someone will take pity on you if you reply to this!
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Yo, Four-eyes! The brand new captions are all right here!
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>>85683785
Whoops, that's the wrong previous thread link.

Here's the real previous thread:
https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/85406172/
>>
>>85683839
New Legend of Zelda caption! Twilight Princess and blowjobs.
>After saving both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, Link is caught in a serious bind. Both Zelda and Midna want him to be their husband and the king of their kingdom, and neither of them is willing to budge an inch! A disastrous war is averted only by a compromise: Link has to marry them both!

I wrote this script about two weeks ago, and after the Midna stanning in the previous thread, I bumped it up the cue to make it my next caption. It's really more of a Zelda cap than a Midna cap, but I think she still makes a strong impression.
I do hope to make more Midna-focused captions in the future, including some imp-form stuff, since I haven't done anything that focuses on that yet.
>>
>>85683801
You make sure every year you visit the Belcher house to see what Linda has decided to wear she always has the funniest or cutest costumes. Contrary to funny or cute (still kind of cute) Linda is wearing a costume that shows off her MILFy curves and your costume lacks the ability to hide your hardening absurdly large cock.
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>>85684312
Midna sex
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>>85683839
Maybe I'm good enough to post here now.
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>>85685107
New authors are always welcome here in my book!
I'm not really into this kind of "no hope" game over stuff personally (I find it more fun when there's some doubt as to whether the situation is escapable or not), but I thought the concept was creative, and I liked what you did with your prose.
I found some of the text a little faint and hard to read; I think this caption might benefit from switching to a bolder font.
In terms of proofreading, I noticed that "et cetera" was misspelled at the top right. I'd also recommend adding a hyphen to "room filling ass", switching the comma in "Her ass quaked in anger, you released..." to a semicolon, and adding punctuation to the two quotes from the hero that end sentences without it.
>>
>>85685333
I chose the font because it was called ShortStack.

I'll make the next one with it bolded because yeah even with a better file format it's a bit small.

Also noted, but I use different font colors to denote speaking (Black for the hero, light pink for the succubus) And White for the hero's internal thoughts. Only time I use quotations is in the middle of a block of white text to denote speech within the thoughts.
>>
>>85685107
>>85685558
Gotta agree with >>85685333, both on the grammatical fixes and on preferring less "no hope for thee" situations. The gods are right petty bastards if falling victim to a lust crest - and not even doing anything due to being unconscious - is enough to bar one from the heavens.

Oh, and the last paragraph is colored like her dialogue, but reads like descriptive text that is white elsewhere.

But! Butt good, I like how the succubus is partly annoyed at (You) just focusing on her ass and not playing to her monologue, as it reminds her of that knight... then goes back to lust-mode, as a succubus should.

If you make more, I'm sure to read.
>>
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I've also taken the opportunity to make a v2 for one of my previous Midna caps.

In addition to repairing a text rendering mea culpa and some kerning, this v2 fixes a grammar error. Two instances of "thine" were changed to "thy".
"Thine" is a complex word to conjugate correctly. It functions as a determiner in some contexts and a pronoun in others.
A determiner is a word which refers to a noun, and a pronoun is a word that takes the place of the noun.
The relevant text from the v1 of this caption was "I shall be thine light". Here, "thine" is referring to a noun (light); thus, it is functioning as a determiner in this context.
This is incorrect because "thine" is an unusual word which has special rules for its conjugation. "Thine" is what is known as a "prevocalic" word. That means "thine" is only used before words that begin with a vowel. The opposite of prevocalic is "preconsonantal". The preconsonantal form of "thine" is "thy".
(Thine is very, VERY special because it is preconsonantal, but only for words that start with the letter h due to a technicality. But that is not relevant to this cap.)
What makes "thine" particularly confusing is that "thine" is only prevocalic when it is a determiner. When it is used as a pronoun, it is neither prevocalic nor preconsonantal. You just use it all the time.
For example, the following sentence is grammatically correct:
>Midna is thine and thine solely.
Here, "thine" is functioning as a pronoun. Rather than referring to a noun, it is taking the place of a noun; it is replacing "yours". It is grammatically correct in the same way "Midna is yours and yours solely" is correct.

Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. I hope this has given you a greater appreciation of why we stopped using the word "thine". It is a very confusing word.
Feel free to screenshot this post so that if anyone ever tries to tell you that porn rots your brain, you can show them all the cool stuff that reading my porn taught you about grammar.
>>
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>>85684312
God I love Midna, and Twilight Princess had my favorite princess Zelda design too. Totally not because TP was my first new Zelda game, no no...

It's really rare to see a blowjob cap with the full mouth actually changing how one character talks... and honestly, I can imagine Midna being just that focused on pleasing her wolf. Possibly has done this before, maybe even in her imp form.

All I know for sure, is GOD I wish that were me getting the double princess attention.

>>85686454
Yay for updated wife captions!
>... you can show them all the cool stuff that reading my porn taught you about grammar.
Jokes aside, reading smut was one of the few ways I'd actually kept up my literacy for a part of my life. It might tune my vocabulary to certain ways... but hey, that's life.

Also definitely posting more Midna. Need to find more good art of her in not-imp-form.
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>>85687149
Another impbutt bump.
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Just going to post this from a few weeks ago.
>>
hey cans ones of yous guys gives mes ams jerks off instructions
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>>85688609
Uhh, lemmie pull this one out of my instructions folder
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>>85685107
This concept absolutely sends me wild and I'm unironically happy working with it. I never thought of myself as a writer but I suppose with a concept that's up my alley enough anything is possible. I actually like these two and their dynamic and if I can get the slop genners to make more of them, I'll write more.

>>85685880
As for this. I want to say that there is hope for the guy. Infinity is a long time, and who knows? Maybe Vespera can slip. His hope is stretched thin across time and his actions are limited, but anything can happen throughout infinity.

Dear God I'm just writing A.M but horny
>>
>>85683801
In the boiling isles there isn't a more valuable and potent magical ingredients than the sperm of a virgin human male. Which is why the dastardly GILF witches Eda and Lilith have abducted you to be their sperm bank. The witches put on a show to help you pump out as much seed as possible but upon seeing your big young cock these cougars might struggle to resist taking your virginity.
>>
>>85688667
I do love it when an evil demon has a favorite slave, but I have to wonder if she manages to get anything done if she's just bullying this hero with her ass all the time.
... Maybe that was the other succubi's plan? Make Vespera a gift she can't resist, so the greater succubus is too busy to interfere with others' plans?
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>>85689540
I'll take this opportunity to worldbuild a bit here since my first post set up the world these two are in but leaves some key questions unanswered.

Vespera is a Succubus Princess from a bygone age who was defeated and went to her own personal hell for her failure. Hell, however, is subjective, and for a succubus, the worst possible hell is a static, stable castle with no men to tempt, no heroes to drive mad.

Cut to the current age, and our hero is defeated by a low level succubus who happens to have adopted Vespera as her patron deity due to her vast campaigns of torment and lust. The hero did something to piss off this succubus so bad that she put a lust crest on him in the middle of the fight, which meant when he died, he was sent to Vespera.

So no, Vespera is dead, as is the hero, and this is their life now. A romcom of gleeful torment for her, and an addictive eternity for him. Vespera can leave him at any time, but she never will, she lives for this, and his anguish is like honey to her. She'll go about the castle, do her daily chores, monitor the human world for kicks, but most of her day is spent wobbling her fat dumptruck in the face of our hero.
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>>85689637
I can always respect a bit of worldbuilding. Nice stuff.

Bumping.
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Any captioners planning on any halloween stuff this year?
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>>85683796
Irida wants to recruit the hero who saved all of Hisui into the Pearl Clan, and she'll do anything to get you. Including offering up her body. But only to recruit you, or at the very least to get your bloodline! N-not that she wants to, it's just her duty as leader!
>>
>>85683801
Aquamarine and Navy have been trick or treating all night in search of a certain kind of treat. The last few houses only had little candies but these two gems are in search of a "king sized bar".
>>
>>85690791
I'm planning on publishing two more Halloween caps, plus any requests I end up taking.
>>
>>85683796
Honestly a simple cap of a petite fox girl being ravaged by tentacles is all I'm after. Could be halloween themed if you wanted to add any seasonal framing to it.
>>
>>85687149
>It's really rare to see a blowjob cap with the full mouth actually changing how one character talks...
The realism argument kinda falls flat when the situation in question is a sorceress of shadow magic performing fellatio, but I did feel like keeping the amount of dialogue low when appropriate helped draw me into the scene more as a reader.
And there was definitely a moment where I was sitting at my keyboard and pensively pondering, "How much would Midna talk when giving Link a blowjob?" and my brain of course went "Yeah naw she's goin' Kirby on that shit senpai".

>literacy
Easily >50% of my Japanese knowledge comes from porn. I starting out learning the language by reading porn VNs with a dictionary in my lap. Did it every day for years and years.
Porn is great for learning languages. Studying is much more fun when your tutor shows you her boobs when you do well.
>>
Yup
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>>85693843
>"Yeah naw she's goin' Kirby on that shit senpai".
Spending who knows how long imprisoned and bound into a form one can't control the way one wants to would put a real buildup of pressure on one's libido, probably. So, if the restored princess wants to target some swordsman's lance with industrial pressures of throatage, there's very few things that are going to stop her.

>>85690852
+1 for totally-not-babytrapping sex with clan leaders.

>>85693091
+1 for the simple classic setup of a woman and a heap of tentacles.
>>
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>>85683801
Rarity is a blabbermouth who quickly informed her friends that she noticed something of substantial length and girth hidden in Anon's jeans when she was taking his measurements and now the elements of harmony are competing for who's ass Anon is gonna choose to pleasure his large human phallus
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>>85689637
Part 1 of the prequel. I'm doing this till my dopamine receptors do a hard reset so come on chemicals.
>>
Threads dead. Pack it up everyone. Captions. Are. OVER!!!
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Butt bump.
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I should really see if I get get back into this and make things again...
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>>85701424
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Since my last update, I have written two new caption scripts.

One was a fourth draft that once again turned out poorly and has been scrapped. I feel like I once again learned something from my mistakes, but morale on that WIP is understandably a little low at the moment. I'll probably take another long break before giving it a fifth shot.
The other is a brand new first draft, and (fingers crossed) I think it may already be good enough to publish. So that's a big yay. Yay!

My current plan for the next few days is to do more writing. After that I might start working on typesetting my next Halloween caption. I'm planning on publishing it in early October because it's more about preparing for Halloween than the night itself.
>>
Oh right, I usually repost previous thread's deliveries!
Here's "Secretary Daisy".

>>85704234
>it's more about preparing for Halloween than the night itself.
Always a good thing to see - holiday caps are great and all, but the prep can take a lot longer than the actual day. Having stories for that time is just fitting!
>>
And another repost, named "Kneel Before Mei", in spite of OBVIOUSLY being Franziska Von Karma, baka.
>>
>>85699497
This caption is one of my favorites. I hardly ever see "animate inanimates" being used in JOIs. I've even been saving a bit of a backlog of such images for requesting relevant caps.
>>
Bnuy repost, "Please call me cute".

>>85706183
Damn shame my friend's soul died or something... oh well, rubbery pokepussy is still good.
>>
>>85683801
You went to the beach for some fun in the sun, but that immediately got pushed to the back of your mind when you spotted the short and stacked villain, Mary Dahl. After finally catching you oogling her Mary's eyes take a one way trip to your groin as she notices you're so hyper focused on her body you haven't even bothered to hide the outrageously big bulge in your swim trunks.
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>>85683801
re-requesting this from the last thread into a proper caption.

"Mao Mao had been approached by several of the palaces nursemaids hoping she would have a solution for their problems.

The palace was a place that often had babies from the Queens, consorts and concubines… which required the services of women who had milk to keep the babies fed.

This was the near totality of these desperate women’s employment in the palace; to be milk cows to the babies of other women who either could not, or would not, nurse babies from their own teats.

Of course Mao Mao was willing to help.

There were many herbs and concoctions that were known to aid in “women’s concerns” written in various texts she had seen in both the Verdigris House and the library of the Rear Palace pharmacist quack...

She had thought she had found the correct blend of herbs and oils that would as the text said; “increase a ladies fullness for the giving of life and milk”.

Naturally she tried it on herself first, as she reasoned that worse case scenario it didn’t work or she might have leaking nipples for a few weeks until the herbal concoction would wear off.

However she woke up this morning to find some rather large… side effects.

Overnight her breasts grew from near nothingness to each larger than her head, perhaps the largest breasts she’d ever seen, even larger that Consort Lihua who had had one of the largest busts Mao Mao had ever seen… until now.

As her huge bosoms rested on her lap she felt a tingling pressure behind her engorged nipples.

Oh no… what was she going to do now?
>>
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And from previous thread, "Virgin Marie".
Short and sweet, and nice and gentle. As furst times should be.
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>>85683785
>oral fixation caption over my sloppa
I'm honored
>>
>>85708586
>furst
Minor spelling error, gonna kms myself.

>>85709182
Hoss has done a few caps with sloppa art, sometimes he has good tasts with art. I gotta say that is a good gen to my eye, especially since she has freckles. Niche appearance kinks are great.
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>>85683796
Slappy Squirrel teases you until you rail her fat toon ass
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>>
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Reeepost on pg 10, "Shikimi's Diary".
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10 boomp.
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>>85683796
Based off the Sailor Moon episode where the girls argue why they should play Snow White in a play.

Makoto makes a hell of a case as to why she should play Snow White with her funbags ready to pop out of her clothes.
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>>
I got in a groove and went on a crazy writing tear today.

New script #1 is a brand new draft. I think it might be good enough to publish, but I want to wait until at least tomorrow to reread it so I can try and decide that with fresh eyes.

New script #2 is a fourth draft. It's a real behemoth clocking in at about ~3,100 words. It will be published as a three-page caption assuming I give it the green light.
I actually already have another three-page script already finalized and approved. (I'm probably going to end up publishing it in November or December, since I'll be focusing on my Halloween caps this month.) That script is only about ~2,400 words though, so this new script is long even by three-page caption standards.
I'll definitely need to give this new script some editing passes at least before it's ready, but it's definitely a massive improvement over the previous three drafts, so I've got a really good feeling about it.

I'm gonna call it here tonight in terms of writing. If I can carry the same energy over into tomorrow, I'll probably make that a writing day too.
>>
8.

>>85722908
I appreciate your updates and envy your output. Keep it up, internet stranger whose words make me happy and/or horny!
>>
Goblin bump.
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>>85683801
Fifi la Fume is at first annoyed with you for "tricking" her into taking a shower to get rid of her natural stink, but quickly warms up to your touch as you wash her in all the right places, and afterwards she blows you and dries your dick off with a fluffy titfuck.
>>
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More gob.
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Gobjob.
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No homoblin.
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Goblin sex for the purpose of impregnation.
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Gobling greed!
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"Don't be rough so early! He must be pretty sensitive down there, judging by his reactions."
"Oh, come on, sis. He's never gonna get used to this treatment, if you baby him!"
"'used to'? I thought this was just gonna be a one time thing?! As a reward for saving our village?!"
"What? You afraid of becoming a hoe for his massive cock?"
"... n-no... Who are you to tease, when i've got more experience with boys than you?!"

>You'd always considered yourself somewhat brave, but you were completed out of your depth when you decided to take down the local crime-lord terror nearby villages. Though... you definitely couldn't complain about the reward you had procured, from the mayor's two "generous" daughters.

"Mmm... you like it when we wrap the undersides of the tip?"; said the shyer, and much darker, older sister.

"Don't worry about shooting too early, 'Mr. Hero, because we're not letting up for second, even if you do!"; the cocky younger sister teased you with her beguiling eyes, as she seemingly plotted-out your next few hours on this island with them.
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>>85683839
Clumsy ditzy plapqueen maid from a far off land.
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Any reader giving a woman a rimjob captions?
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>>85730535
I don't think so, all rimming I've seen is to guys.
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Cow good.
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>>85730482
Slutty maids are always good.
The narration switching perspective ("you asked" > "I had") was a bit weird, and I think actions would benefit from asterisks in addition to the italics (so like *ahem* and *sigh*)... but grammar aside, very nice and cute short hornycap.
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>>85739477
Need more human/anthro bleaching
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>>85739477
>>85738069
Bnnuy loev
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>>85720630
THEY DID HER HIPS DIRTY ON HER OVERFRAME, ITS NOT FAIR
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ONE SEXTILLION POINTS FOR GRIFFINDOR



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