any permanent expats here?I've been living abroad for almost 15 years now, don't really have a place back home any more, not sure what to do long long term. I like my work (working in science broadly) but apparently I am autistic as shit because I struggle with all kinds of social relationships and it is taking its toll on me.the story so far is>move to the UK>make no good friends, no lasting relationships>move to Hong Kong>make no good friends, no lasting relationships>move to Japan>make no good friends, no lasting relationshipshaha turns out that going somewhere doesn't fix your issues. who would've knownanyway I'm not sure what to plan for in the long-term future. I doubt I'll be happy anywhere at this point, but somehow I still have hope that I'll find "the right place" for myself and will want to stay there.should I just pick a country and work there long enough to get permanent residence and buy a house? should I keep switching countries and then off myself?
>>2826833Same. I've been an expat for 24 years. 16 countries. Brazil, Iraq, Ethiopia as some interesting examples.I'm the same as you. Hardly have any friends. Sometimes think about how pathetic my funeral would be without any friends showing up. Posthumous embarrassment.But it all used to bother me more than it does now. Now I see myself as some kind of eccentric, mad character - as others see me sometimes. And that's ok. That's actually not a bad life to be given. Maybe even kind of cool. We all have our individual struggles. Social retardation is mine. I'll always be trying, making and losing friends, make social faux paxs. Ok. I've been given an incredibly unique and fortunate life. I practice daily gratitude. Now when I do something weird, say something odd, repel a potential friend. I shrug and forget instead of agonizing over it.>should I just pick a country and work there long enough to get permanent residence and buy a house? should I keep switching countries and then off myself?Maybe you are meant to wander. Maybe lean deeper and harder into that. Love and become closer to your unique wandering self.
>>2826833Do you speak Chinese and Japanese? Yes I know English is commonly spoken in Hong Kong but I’m just curious
>>2826833>apparently I am autistic as shit because I struggle with all kinds of social relationships and it is taking its toll on me.NIgga just say you're shy or an introvert lmao.
>>2826833>haha turns out that going somewhere doesn't fix your issuesThis is true, but Japan is notoriously difficult for making friends as a foreigner, and I don't think Hong Kong is known to be much better. I don't know about the UK, but generally europe is less socially open than that the US or Latin America
>>2826991>Japan is notoriously difficult for making friends as a foreignerthat's the way the social hierarchy worksthe work group has a higher priority that personal relationshipsif you want to make friends in japan, you have to get a job. i don't mean as some poverty stricken english teacher or whatever but a proper job in a companythere are exceptions of course especially amongst younger more creative types but in general japan is still quite traditional in many ways
>>2826980>you're shy or an introvertNigga just open yo mouth, like damn, just say hi lol.
>>2826833>working in science broadly"Broadly" scientific work? Bullshit, spill the beans. I work "broadly" scientific research, everything from Particle Physics to Number Theory (lately Ive been working on Atomic Cognition, how the two correlate at scale).
>>2826833>no mention of having sex There’s literally no point to do anything if you can’t get sex out of it
>>2827036It usually makes you feel better, and your willingness to greet strangers (even if they don't respond, which is considered the polite thing to do in many countries) is a good gauge of your mood.
>>2826991Americans of the lower classes prefer frankness to etiquette for difficult situations. You think someone who wears pajamas in public is going to be polite? It's not a race issue, it's a class issue.
>>2827056wtf are you even blabbering about?
>>2826833You sound like a narcissist. You came on here because you want attention and thought you were humble flexing. But there are more interesting people on this board than you.
>>2826833Try The Netherlands. People there tend to be autistic. They also speak English so there's not as much of a learning curve for you.
>>2826833>op
>>2826978didn't feel any need to learn Cantonese (or Mandarin) in HK.in Japan yes you definitely feel pressure to learn. I speak conversational Japanese but if you want to be fluent to the extent that you can have deep and thoughtful conversations with people like in your native language then that takes fucking years of study for hours every day, literally impossible when you have an actual job and life>>2826991it's way easier to get along with people in Europe, even just thanks to the shared cultural background. you just think similarly to the people there. for this reason, in Asia most expats naturally end up hanging out with other expats a lot, which is fine in HK because the expat circles are nice there, but in Japan the expats are all weird as shit so your choice is to hang out with western autists or japanese autists. hard to get any enjoyment out of it if you're not very social already
>>2826833If you truly have been doing expat for 15 years and haven't figured out what you would want in settling down, then why bother?>the story so far isYou come off as people I know who simply go to "place" to exist in said place for the updoots or "well not as bad as other people back home" lifestyle, without once thinking what YOU want and how to make it work. I am an expat and know to look up hobbies around Japan, HK, and other places I've been; trust me they have events that unless you are a BORING PERSON, you'll be able to make friends on instagram/discord/etc. I know very basic Japanese, Korea, Spanish, but still manage to make relationships with people that when I come back in town meet up with to say hello to and chill with. It's very simple, some of my good friends are japanese but we get by with our pigeon english and my gaijin japanese.OP you sound like just a boring person, just move back home and realize you have 15 years of stories to share with people and make some friends. If you've been saving anything you should have more than enough money to buy a house in any western country barring the megacities of like Paris or LA.
>>2827144>literally impossible when you have an actual job and lifeAs someone who lives and works in Japan and has fully fluent Japanese conversations, why do you lie? What's with you faggots always making excuses for not learning the language? It's bizarrely funny how every immigrant here speaks good Japanese, from the scammy Nigerians to the 25 year old white chicks, but the 40 year old white guys who've lived here for 20 years always say>oooohhhhh it's SOOOOO hard it's just impossible for foreigners to learn...Meanwhile zoomer white dudes arrive here speaking fluently day one.
>>2827150>Meanwhile zoomer white dudes arrive here speaking fluently day one.so your counterpoint to "it takes years to learn japanese to fluency" is "just spend years learning it before coming to japan". fantastic logical reasoning.yes it's possible, it just takes a long time to become fluent and comfortable with it.
>>2826991I've never once struggled to make friends as a white guy in Asia. It's easy as fuck with other expats.Go back to my home country and it's blood from a stone
>>2827214the expats in Japan are well known to be exactly the type of people you never even want to make friends with
>>2826833you're not exactly going to countries that are known for having friendly people. UK is full of antisocial little retards like you, HongKong is basically dominated by finance bros you won't make friends outside that circle unless you're either a chad or a millionaire, and japan is full of antisocial retards who are also ethno-nationalists and don't wanna befriend gaijin.maybe go to some place where people are casual and chill instead of finance bro hell, rainy island hell, and weeb hell.
I actually wrote OP a sincere reply and he's hasn't been back to the thread. Kinda pisses me off.
>>2827430Of all the posts in this thread, this is the only one that gave me a laugh.
>>2827430is that the reply where you call OP a boring person three times and blame him for everything
>>2827119Be autist and go to an American ghetto full of blacks as an obvious outsider. You can chat easily with all sorts of people, though you can expect to do about 95% listening and 5% talking.
Every traveler wants to ascend, i.e. meet people who are of higher social status than themselves. However, these high-flying people are extremely picky and neurotic about how they spend their time, and bullshitting with a random is NOT on their agenda. Thus, you will be spurned or blown off in almost every case. What you need to look for is people who have a surplus of free time and are feeling kinda bored. They will be more willing to make friends with a random stranger. But of course, you don't want to talk to them because they are low-value people.Your loneliness is your fault.
>>2826833My mom moved us abroad 23 years ago, and now I feel like a stranger in both countries.
>>2827625same, i have no identity, its ova
