ITT: We crown the king of SEA. Tell your craziest story while in Southeast Asia, could be about anything.
why are you a content mining jeet?
Happened just the other day actually>Sipping afternoon pints with some ladies at hostal bar>Hear some huge rumbling in the distance think a car is about break down>Turn to see an obvious American tourist bringing a large suitcase(he's a checked luggage normie)>Hope he will just keep walking and stop ruining the peaceful sights of the ladies>EXCUSE ME IS DIS DA HOSTAL? IM AMERICAN AND WANNA CHECK IN NOW!>I express to him he needs to keep is voice down and as the only other one willing to take the lead I mention it is indeed it is.>COOL BUDDY THERE I NEED TO CHECK IN I MIGHT TIP IF YOU GIT DEM BAGS DER CHOP CHOP>I mention sorry I don't work here but I don't think check in is later, it's a peaceful early afternoon please be quiet(it was 1030)>WELL WHAT THE HELL IM SUPPOSE TO DO! I AIN'T GOT TIME TO STAND AROUND DANG GUMIT TRUMPS AMERICA WOULDN'T STAND FOR THIS>see the ladies in the commons area annoyed and scared>Make up some directions telling him there is a place 3 stop lights away that will hold his bags knowing full well it leads to a police station he will most likely be fined for public nuisance >sit back down and start chatting it up with the cuties in the commons room who are thankful he's not thereNever saw him again I assume he was arrested
>show up to the bus station in the village of Jeli, on the Malay side of the southern Thai border>afternoon departure for Tanah Merah is in two hours>see haircut & massage parlor>fat Chinese granny comes in from the street, asks me if I want a haircut>"how much?" "ten dollar">"okay, yes">while giving me the haircut, she begins straddling my thigh and pushing her body up against mine>my pecker begins rising>she finishes the haircut, strokes the bulge and asks if I want to go into the back>I say okay>she flips the sign to "closed" and closes all the shutters>we go into the back room>she pulls down my pants and starts playing with my pecker>sucks it a little, then I kiss her and she vigorously French kisses me back>touches my butthole and I push her hand away, then start undressing her>from the waist up she look like an old(ish) woman>her legs are clenched tight together, very unnatural for a woman in this situation>I try to finger her but only poke into dry folds>insist that she take her panties off>she relents and a tiny set of twig & berries pops out>...>I put my clothes back on >"how much for the haircut?">"ten dollar">I hand him ten ringgit, he says thank you and shows me to the door
>>2830973trying too hard, guy
>>2830979>>I hand him ten ringgit, he says thank you and shows me to the doorlol love the final negotiation on this one
>>2830934During the Covid lockdowns in late 2021 I fucked and creampied Tony Baker’s (manager of Toybox bar and decade Thailand resident) smoking hot blonde bimbo gf raw for 3000 baht while they were still dating. I felt like a complete and utter Chad
>>2830979How do you not hero yourself after this type of encounter, Insecurity Guard? No wonder you're suicidal...
>>2830973>that american you described sounds less an ashole than you
>>2831038is that her?
>>2831038>Everyone except him in jail nowHe wew lad'd a tad too hard
>>2830934>be me>bumfuck northern Laos>scooter breaks down>Unc offers to give me a ride to town>get to his place>open the door>get on the floor>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>2831341>inb4 tranny joke Yea her name is Sam >>2831421Keep bossin Tony Also holy shit tfw can’t go cream this dead eyed pale goth maxxed chubby zoomett bar girl gyat
>>2830979keeeeek, even lowballing the tranny after she already sucked your dick>>2831039get your /trv/ lore right, bozo. That's slumdorker, the guy who carries around the huge piss jug
>>2830979What did you expect? Mango?
>>2831426I chuckled. Gj anon
>>2830934I met bald and bankrupt in India long ago. You guys think he's a nutter online? Just wait until you see what he's like off camera in real life.
>>2831038>>2831457>I felt like a complete and utter Chad>paid for sex>paid a bimbo that has a man face at that
>>2831520Greentext?
>>2831465> slumdorkerah right. my bad, i remember him saying he fucks truck trannies loitering around the border town bus stops. i assumed it was you because you're the only one here who says pecker.
>>2830973>afternoon pints>it was 1030even troons are less fake and gay than this story
>>2831521Where’s your stories, trials, and tribulations? I guess your role in life is to be my personal peanut gallery lmao
