I've decided to quit talking with other people about my travels; is anyone else like this? I had some crazy adventures abroad when I was young, and had the idea that other people would be impressed to hear my stories. Or that I'd been to X number of countries. But by now I've learned that there are 2 types of people: 1) those who travel, who for some reason feel threatened when they hear you talk about your own experiences, and will either start a dick-measuring contest of travel stories, or just smile and nod before changing the subject; 2) those who do not travel, who typically cannot disguise their lack of interest when you say you crossed the Darien Gap by camel, because they genuinely do not care.Outliers must exist, because I genuinely like hearing other people's travel stories, and always ask to hear more. But as in example #1 above, no one ever reciprocates, or seems interested when I talk about myself. I don't think I've had a fulfilling conversation about travel with anyone, ever, not in backpacker hostels filled with anonymous free spirits, not with my closest friends. Now that I'm older I see it was a mistake to ever think people would make me feel validated for my travels. I can be proud and happy with how I've spent my life without expecting recognition from anyone else.I just got back from a dirt biking and spearfishing trip around central America, but I told my coworkers I was with family in Minnesota. I've been to over 50 countries but I'm at the point where when travel comes up in conversation, I lie and say I haven't traveled much. If someone starts talking bullshit about a country I've spent 10x more time in than they have, I act interested and never contradict them. People ask me why I know so many languages, I say I just learn them as a hobby. I'd rather have a conversation about something that lets me relate to people instead of alienating myself.b
>>2841216>I've decided to quit talking with other peopleJust this part.Most of the time it doesn't bother me and I'm content with my own company, but then there are days like today where depression is hitting very hard for some reason.
>>2841216Very few Americans are interested in hearing the stories of a travel sperg in 2025. One, Americans are geographically clueless, so faraway place names mean nothing to them. Managua, Mandalay, it's all the same. Two, everyone is spoiled by YouTube and social media, which are glutted with shots & footage of spectacular places. This constant flood of visual stimulus disables the imagination...now when they hear you talk about some place, their mind doesn't conjure up anything, and they don't engage with your story.Third, it sounds like you're trying too hard to be the main character and make all your travel stories revolve around you.>I went to A, I did B, then I went to C and did D. I'm so cool, right?That conversation is dead before it even started, because you're not offering anything worth discussing.
Best not to share these things because all the crabs in a bucket losers out there + social media has turned travel into some competitive dickwaving contest in the minds of normies.
I self-validate my travels by mapping my routes. This combined with photo taking helps ensure that those travel memories remain stored in my mind, to be shared whenever I deem them relevant to a travel-related conversation.
Social media has made everything cheaper. Whether you are a "traveller" or a "photographer" a "writer" or whatever, nobody is impressed anymore.
>>2841216>crossed the darien gap by camelI don't believe it.
>anon discovers that people suck, more at 8
>>2841244I want to visit Mexico. How is the safety? Never been to LatAm, the violent bean people scare me.
>>2841257I guess the solution is to avoid social media and keep your stories away from the clammy souls who use it, because a travel experience in itself has value; it's only once viewed through the lens of postmodern irony that it becomes cheapened. A good thought experiment would be to imagine telling your 10-year-old pre-internet self about all the amazing shit he is going to do when he's older, and imagine whether his reaction would be positive.
>>2841242Yeah like I said when I was young I had that main character thing going on. I never had instagram, thank fuck, but I've only recently gone and deleted the sickly wordpress travel blog which I thought was gonna win me a Pulitzer. So sure I deserved derision back then. Now my dilemma is that I'd simply like to be able to say the words "Oh you've been to Europe? Me too!" without the other guy reacting as though I'd just pissed on his sandwich.
>>2841216outright lying bc you think no one cares where you've been is just dishonest and feminine behaviour just say where you were, make a joke or two, ideally self-deprecating, and leave it at that you autist
>>2841330Nah, I agree with OP. Made the mistake of oversharing with co-workers. A lot of them get petty and jealous. Normies are inundated with shiny happy people shit many of which features shiny happy people in exotic locales on Instagram and the likes. So they automatically connect travel with life comparison. Unless they're friends best not to share.
>>2841322when the hell was this? 1980?
>>2841334I have always been the non-sharing type so this works for me. I have nver travelled for validation. I don't know why people do. Far as I'm concerned, they are retards.
>>2841314did you see that video where they lynched that polish tourist just because he jumped onto a wrong bus? that was scary
>>2841330>pulls up to hostel common room>cracks beer>adjusts crotch>snickers at whom he instantly judges a bunch of "flashpackers">instantly telling everyone about how long they have been out "travelling for" and the scrapes on the Khaosan RoadBEHOLD MY GIANT PENIS
>>2841216Only share if it's actually funny or genuinely interesting to the person you are talking to. If you are friends with them you should know what would count as a crazy story to them. Hearing about going across the Darien Gap with a camel is not that interesting, sorry. If that's your barometer for stories then it's no wonder people are bored. Be a better storyteller as well, and stop making it sound like bragging, which is exactly how it comes across from the way you type. No idea why you are lying either, just say you went to Central America and don't go into detail.
>>2841216>I've decided to quit talking with other people about my travelsYeah, the first days back after my first solo international trip. Then again after joining the military, they didnt care about that, or my Vietnam movie tier deloyment to Afghanistan. Or anything else. I dont talk to anyone because its all one way...I lower to their level or they reject it.They interpret things from an ego-centric perspective where how they feel is your fault, making then feel inferior to you is your fault. They blame the victim and project punishment onto them like Jesus, because the world never changed, they just waited until everyone forgot. Thats the whole "You cant be my desciple if you dont hate your parents." comes from, seeing them as dirtbags is your change, not their's.
>>2841216>Or that I'd been to X number of countriesI promise you that nobody gives a shit about this. Comes off as box-checker mentality. I actively think less of people who bring this up (same as X number of states).
>>2841216Get better friends. I recently had pleasant conversation with a German cyclist about our travels
>>2841216Nobody is obliged to be interested in you or anything you do. The rest of us human beings aren't here to provide you with attention and validation. You want those things, you need to earn it. Your estimation of how interesting you are only exists in your own skull.Obviously you can't find sufficient satisfaction in the fact that you've done all this shit; you're just a beggar looking for others to give it to you. You've traveled the world searching for something you fail to give to yourself.
>>2841216As others have already said, it comes down to reading your audience and not expecting validation from anyone. I also find my travel stories exciting and captivating, but even telling them to my close friends requires significant storytelling skills including the ability to cut stuff out and get to the point. Most people's attention spans are too short nowadays to tell a story that's worth its weight. I save those stories for when I meet other travelers, and when we have a lot of free time to get into it. Don't lie about what you're doing, though, that's dumb. What I've been doing since I had the same realization as you is, if someone asks, tell them very evenly and without any pretension, a brief summary of what you did or where you went. The trick is to not make yourself look cool or gain status from it, that just drives up people's insecurities. If they want to ask more about it, they will, but if not, then don't press it. You can ask them something about their life in response, and the travel topic dissipates without any tension. From traveling a lot, I have a ton of opinions about the world, the past and the future, but I don't just ejaculate these out whenever someone asks me about a place I've been or what I think about something. You gotta tease out what they really are looking for with this conversation, and then get into it if they're truly interested
>>2841420Sounds very gay. Did he fuck your asshole with his bratwurst?
>>2841433kek OP btfo
>>2841404Great reply. I wish people could just have conversations instead of clashes of egotism.>>2841365You're right I'm a shit storyteller. I guess I'm too autistic to know what tone I'm supposed to use. I think even worse than bragging is casually name-dropping exotic places you've been, as though it's something everyone can relate to, i.e. the "gap yah" kids. That's what I hear most people do and it makes me want to barf. >>2841433You're correct in your assessment of my awful personality, but seeking validation is part of all human interaction; maybe you haven't experienced this in your own life but it is something we share with chimpanzees. >>2841228How are you feeling today, anon?
>>2841216>>2841322Coworkers aren't friends. Did you chime in with your story when someone was telling their own travel story first? Then you weren't really listening to them. Or was it the opposite and you were sharing with them them? Then they weren't listening and invalidated you. Which would then refer back to the point that coworkers aren't friends.Ironically, you may perhaps end up sharing travel stories with other budding travellers whilst actually travelling. Or, to real friends who genuinely want to know what you've been up to. When I came home from overseas I thought I'd sit with my family and do the slideshow evening thing with stories. Never did. No one cares. That was over a decade ago. It's like talking about Fender Stratocasters to someone who isn't interested in playing guitar.
I'm 30 and work in retail, last week this older lady was asking me about if we have any other woks. After showing her, we started talking about Asia, and she told me about this trip she took around SouthEast Asia. I reciprocated by talking about my own experience in South China, Vietnam, and Thailand. Furthermore she told me about how she was planning to visit her son in law in Bosnia after visiting Croatia, and Italy. I shared my owe experience of spending time in Sarajevo.But while I was talking, she had this really distasteful look on her face. Which I figured was either me coming across as a one upping douche, or her not believing I was sophisticated enough to be doing what she was doing and just talking out of my ass.When I am at a party I don't want to talk about it, because I feel like a douche. My good friends are all aware of my travels because we stay in touch whenever I leave the country, but I only tell stories if they are really appropriate to the situation at hand. I had my friend in tears laughing about a wine drinking competition with a Chinese guy that had me running to the bathroom amid a roomful of dozens of Chinese people all laughing at me.Most travelfags I meet make the mistake of sharing stories without any purpose or relevance outside of telling you what they did. There's a difference between my black friend telling me about traveling to Japan to get an idea of how they treat black people, vs. some guy I just met telling me how he just spent a month living in Ghana working online.
OP, don't take these critical replies personally.Anonymous posters here like to make wild assumptions about who you are and why you've arrived at your conclusion, blaming faults in your character. They think you're rotten because something irked them.Be confident in your ability to discern the truth.Maybe if you elaborated your thoughts and feelings by 4k more characters, you could explain your true feelings and make others understand your perspectives, but then other issues like attention spans arise and people will still hate.To respond to your OP now, I will share photos and stories of my day to day with immediate family cus they like my boring travels, and it's like traveling with them.I do not tell colleagues for a few reasons. First off, I fear them being jealous. Many are buying houses and like retards with no forethought, are sulking in the chores and renovations that are required, draining their pockets.Then, while working abroad, I also get concerned about my work and online presence being scrutinized much more.So I just keep it a secret.My manager who I talk to the most is not cool at all. Fat dork. So I barely tell him anythingI tell normies of normie things I do and we get along. It's kinda fun and wholesome.I never tell people about my naughty behavior though. Not in person.
>>2841216Your pictures are all like from 1960. Are you a hundred years old by any chance, anon? How do you manage to keep traveling at your age?
>>2841257yeah pretty much this. Even the Darien Gap has been crossed by like tens of thousands of SA migrants now. In 2011 "gap's closed" was a common meme response to upstarts/trolls asking about crossing it. For normies the mystery of travel has been solved.
>>2841470These photos are from some blog by a guy who set out with his Peace Corps friends to find and summit a mythic mountain in northern Morocco. It inspired me to do my own trip there, but instead of taking a 4x4 up the piste like they did, I did an approach from the other side, which took me 3 days of hiking knee-deep in rivers and through groves of 1,000 year-old olive trees. In the end I decided not to summit the mountain as it was the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen up close. That remains my greatest ever trip.I don't remember why I saved the photos of the guys picnicking, probably because they represent the age of travel pre-irony, when it was possible to climb a mountain for its own sake.
>>2841433>The rest of us human beings aren't here to provide you with attention and validation.What about travel to India? They sure seem eager to provide attention and validation to a traveler. I've met many curious locals across Asia, and will meet many more in the coming months. Who gives a fuck whether some yoga-pants roastie hagpacker is innarested in my life or not.
>>2841453Didn't accuse you of an awful personality. Nor am I shaming you for desiring human connection. I'm pointing out your attitude of entitlement, and your projecting the blame for your lack of satisfaction on the world. Right after a catty diatribe against those who failed to acknowledge you, you claim to be "proud and happy without expecting recognition" about how you've spent your life.Are you really?
>>2841216You sound like you did those things for validation in the first place. Like you were looking to check boxes. There is something cringe about that you should know. But now that you've learned that you shouldn't do that, feel free to explain why e.g. "crossing the Darien Gap by camel" is meaningful to you. Or whatever other experience you would like to talk about. I am curious to learn about your mindset, as a non-traveller.
Welcome to being an adult and discovering no one gives a shit about you, especially given you're a low value male, and obviously not about shitholes no one like. Kill yourself
>>2841709>>2841705You really think there's no difference between noxious entitlement and feeling genuine pride? So if I tell my coworkers about my spearfishing trip, I would have to shit on my own experience out of fear of sounding entitled? If a qt German backpacker girl asks me to tell a crazy story from my travels, is the only appropriate response to downplay it, like "oh, I went to the south pole, but it was shit, it was pretty easy, anyone could do it, i bet most people have." Because I think that's dishonest and pointless. And like I said it makes me sick when people talk like "this tasty sandwich reminds me of the one i ate in Somalia", as if it's no big deal they've been to Somalia -- that's the verbal equivalent of the instagram kitsch which ruined travel in the 2010's, in which we pretend the world is all beautiful and accessible, and that everyone has traveled everywhere.
>>2841908Most people are absorbed in their own life, their own problems, their own goals and achievements. Doesn't matter what kind of male you are desu. The only people who are going to be looking at you starry-eyed are going to be faggots and the occasional horny slut (she really doesn't care a whit about what you're saying either, she only wants your eyes and attention on her)>>2842078If you want to talk about spearfishing in Niggeragua, you need to do so with people who are interested in spearfishing. Most people are not interested in things they don't know anything about.
>>2842078>If a qt German backpacker girl asks me to tell a crazy story from my travelsshe wants you to make her laughto be impressed by your confidenceshe does NOT want a lengthy monologue about what you did
>>2842090but i'm not confident and i've never made anyone laugh...
>>2842103she just wants to see your bank statement
>>2842103then you are too dependent on validation from others, and it reeks
>>2841216>no one ever ... seems interested when I talk about myself.suddenly the problem comes into focuschances are anon that you're just another tedious 4chan narcissistactual charismatic people, people that others actually want to talk to, could talk about a box of cornflakes and other people would want to join the conversationthey also spend more time listening to others than just droning on about their latest "adventure" that millions of other people have done before themthe truth is anon that you're just boring and selfish and not the main character that you perceive yourself to be
>>2841216once hitchhiking to Pamplona, getting stuck in Austria already, so I went the whole night through down to Verona where a French was picking me up, going to Aixas he was late, too, his idea was I keep him awake by telling my storiesbut ended up telling me all of his, because he had so much more interesting travel stories..That's when I found out I'd need to see more of the world, still
>>2841216I've decided to start talking more about them solely because of this thread
You do sound like the problem judging by your post.>1) those who travel, who for some reason feel threatened when they hear you talk about your own experiences, and will either start a dick-measuring contest of travel stories, or just smile and nod before changing the subjectThey're trying to match your energy and enthusiasm. If you were talking about how you went skiing down the Japanese alps with a German Eurovision singer you met at your hostel, do you expect the person with whom you are speaking to respond with "funny you mention Japan. I sang karaoke there once"? Of course not. They are going to want to regale you with an exciting tale of their own.>2) those who do not travel, who typically cannot disguise their lack of interest when you say you crossed the Darien Gap by camel, because they genuinely do not careThis is common if you are just explaining what you did in a country. If they have never experienced such a thing, all they can do is ask questions like they are conducting an interview. It's not the most tantalising of conversations. You need to think of a way of engaging their interest if you want an actual discussion.
>>2842078I think you're being too autistic. If your co-workers ask what you've been up to just tell them you went on the fishing trip, and then they will ask further questions if they're interested or not.If a qt asks you to tell a crazy story then just tell a crazy story don't look too deep into it.I think you might just be talking too long about shit and going too deep in monologues, you need to let the other people ask questions to stay engaged, and if they aren't asking questions then change the topic and/or start asking them questions.
It's the luck of the draw, I have had a few terrible dick measuring conversations, but I have also had some extremely wholesome conversations I will remember for the rest of my life. It just depends if the person you are chatting to is an interesting person or not
>>2845928I forgot to mention it also depends where you are conversing with these people, if you are chatting at a hostel 9/10 times it is going to be a shit conversation.
I just spoke with my Aunt this thanksgiving who is a retired executive who traveled all the time. We were able to swap a bit and she gave great recommendations. The key is being secure in yourself, and she is with me.Now that I hit 40 countries, it occurred to me that I simply want validation. I went to Europe in large part because I felt jealous when other people told me about their trips. I know that I hit 40 because I was compulsively keeping my list and checking it twice. I like traveling and I don’t regret anything, but I wish I could have been secure with myself in the first place. Eg my Aunt’s daughter has been to Italy several times as a kid and was therefore not impressed that I was just there for the first time, and that hurt me because I want to lord over the plebs who dont travel.I justify box-checking by saying I’m “getting it over with”. I literally used to toss-and-turn about having not been to Europe etc. Now that I have, I can go just to the places that I want to and not wonder what it’d be like to see Switzerland. Although I still have SA and Africa to tick off lol. Oh and india and ME. Probably Nz too. And Hawaii. Russia aswell. THEN I’ll be satisfied. Maybe DPRK also. That’s all I think.
>>2846230op here -- i've been to maybe 3 new countries in the last several years. Most of my travel is going back to places I visited in my '20s. I always have a concrete goal in mind. Box-checking just sounds stressful.
>>2846849>Most of my travel is going back to places I visited in my '20sare you me?fuck, nosalgia is a cunt.
Half of this thread is massive faggots projecting all kinds of bullshit onto an OP who really doesn't seem half bad. If nothing else the shots of retro travel are cool. I figure he's mostly talking to the wrong people. I've had people react that way when I talk about travel, I've also had people react very well, normally when they have travel experience as well. Having some whiffed conversations doesn't mean you suck
>>2846849>>2846855I know that feel bros.Thailand just isn't the same.>neither am I;_;
>>2846855You know those moments when you're sitting on transport looking out the window, see a mountain range or village poking thru the trees and think fuck that looks cool, I gotta go back there some day when I have more time -- i just think it's really important to follow through with those impulses. And those have made for some of my most memorable trips.
>>2846868Relatable. I really have no clue how much of it is Thailand- or at least BKK, that's the once place there I've been to twice- being worse in 2024 than 2013, and how much of it is just me losing the rose-colored young man glasses. But it sure as hell felt grosser and less alive. Still fun though
>>2841339Late 1960s
>>2841433TRVTH NVKE
We already have shitty incel bait thread about america sucking anon >>2830330
>work abroad 7-8 months of the year>come back home usually for holidays and shit>everytime>HEY ANON YOU WENT TO JAPAN? DID YOU HAVE THE SUSHI I BET IT'S SOOOO MUCH BETTER THERE! DO THEY PACKK YOU INTO THE TRAIN CARS? HEY CAN YOU GET ME LIKE A REAL SAMURAI SWORD? NOT THE FAKE ONES BUT A REAL ONEIt only gets dogshit worse if someone around you served in the military for a bit abroad and no matter what you say, it's different because it just is. Don't even get me started if going through China and returning to the USA, I just wanna fucking shoot myself with those talks.
>>2841216I think the problem is your educational set and actual class. If you are educated you have less concern about judgements because you have your own self-esteem and accomplishments. No one brags about travel that can easily afford it and do it often. It is not a grind, but endlessly exciting if you do it right.Foodies love to chat about great experiences dining out. Good spas. Good hotels. Miraculous random fun that happened by happenstance. Imagine getting a private tour of a museum, just for showing up 5 minutes before closing. oops. Imagine being invted to dinner by strangers who just happeneed to own a winery or butchered their own cattle, or took you out the next day on their boat. Imagine being in the right spot to witness animals being animals in nature, some rare sighting or holiday/festival you didn't even expect. Be a good listener. Maybe you aren't reading people well. When you people like yourself, it's great. I've changed travel plans more than once to continue having dinner again with strangers night after night.
>>2846230>I just spoke with my Aunt this thanksgivingfeet pics?
>>2848224>endlessly excitingThat's not how the human brain works. Real-life travel is a selection of enjoyable moments interspersed with numerous periods of mundane, unstimulating activity. Travel shills condense weeks worth of enjoyable moments into a handful of photos and then pretend that their experience was a non-stop flood of dopamine...making out with a pretty girl at the overlook while the sun sets into the sea or something along that line.Oh, and if you're slumming it, you go from periods of enjoying the lively strangeness of your Third World surroundings to periods of fatigue, sickness and disillusionment with the shittiness of things. Don't obsess over the bad feelings; tough them out, and soon enough you will be looking forward to what the next destination has in store again.
